This is from 'Mokomoko versus Miko'

"Mokomoko wants grandpups! Give Mokomoko grandpups! She is hot! Pup her already, whelp!"

"Friends hug, stop growling at me!" She scolded, and he relaxed in her arms.

Avoiding him :3

From Tally Mark's Frivolous Sentimentalities

“And all those mean looks you gave me…?”

At that one he drew back, looking vaguely offended and maybe a little hurt. “Sultry looks,” Sesshoumaru said. “Sultry.” And she understood then how very much they both had been at fault in all this hopeless blundering. Unable to even imagine it, she never saw that his don’t-touch-me glare was really a come-hither stare.

Another one of Tally Mark's - one of my favorites:

It was impossible. Inconceivable. Unfathomable.

Just like the look in his eyes.

But as the hours slid by and she still sat there, staring at the place where he’d stood, Kagome came to a horrible realization: She’d gone insane. Completely nuts. Certifiable. The whole humiliating fiasco had finally pushed her right over the edge.
Because she didn’t have control over her own mind anymore.

The words he had delivered as a suggestion had entered her mind with all the force of a command, and her thoughts were tripping over themselves to obey.

Think about my offer, he had said.

And she was.

And she couldn’t stop.

“Oh lord,” Kagome whispered, trembling. “I’m doomed!”

---------

From Utter Doom by Tally Mark
www.fanfiction.net/s/4265186/1/Utter_Doom

This one is kinda long, plus it's a shameless self-promotion of my own story!

“Today I discovered something… about Rin.” Attempting to gage his response, the miko came up short when he merely raised a brow.

“Go on.” he said after a moment.

“She umm… she has miko powers.”

The demon lord stared at her.

Kagome stared back at him. Though he had not said a word, she felt as if he were waiting for her to elaborate. Feeling a bit nervous now she continued, “I think she can sense demonic auras, and today she shot a purification arrow into a tree. I told her that I could start training her, but I didn‘t want to umm… I mean if you don‘t want her to…. I mean…”

“As long as it is agreeable between Rin and yourself, you may do as you please.” he finally said.

The miko’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping open soundlessly. “You mean… you mean you don’t have a problem with it?”

“Should I?”

“N-no! I just… I just… Miko’s and demons don’t typically get along. There are a few exceptions, but I didn’t think you’d…”

“It is of no consequence.” he cut her off.

Kagome stared at him. He was such an enigmatic person. Any time she made the faintest of predictions as to what he might say or do, he would do something completely different. Before she could stop it, the question of her mind spilled from her lips. “Why?”

The daiyoukai looked away from her toward the door, but she could tell that it was not the straw panel that held his attention. “Because she is still Rin.” he said after a short pause.


I cut out of this a little, but I liked this little scene between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. I got some nice comments on it so I decided to share it... again.

This is one of my favorite scenes of all time!! I love Sidhe I wish she'd come back...


"Haven't you heard, Inuyasha? Apparently I'm a..." The Inu paused, a long finger tapping his lower lip as if he were deep in thought. "Oh yes. A 'freaky, perverted youkai fish' is, I believe, how she phrased it." His smirk, if possible, grew even more wicked.

"-the hell..." Inuyasha turned wide eyes on Kagome. "You didn't-I mean he didn't-"

"Take a deep breath. Try again. I'm sure it will come." Once again, Sesshomaru with the sarcastic commentary.

Innocent Until Proven Guilty by Sesshoumaru's Fiend

The entire crowd continued to stare at him with mixed emotions. How the hell did this looney toon become a judge?!

"Bailiff!" Miroku screeched, turning to the bored bailiff.

"Yes, Your Honor?"

"Can you go get me that drink I had earlier today?" Miroku asked with a hopeful voice.

"The strawberry daiquiri?"

"No! That's not it! It was red and had a little umbrella in it!"

"A strawberry daiquiri."

"No you giant ignoramus! There was a lime in it!"

"Damn it Miroku! That's a strawberry daiquiri!" Sesshoumaru's irritated voice rang out.

Oh my god...silliest thing I've ever read. [Other than ToWriteLoveOnAPage's post from Of Gods and Demons on the first page, that was funny as hell, I busted out laughing!]

From chapter one of Mokomoko Plus Miko by MissK:

Kagome's mood transformed to pure rage, and before Sesshoumaru could even interpret it, she swatted Mokomoko.

"You're a grown man. You should have more damn sense than to slither off in the middle of the night and scare girls, you know! Not only are you grown, you have grown sons that have better manners than you. Sesshoumaru is the rudest person I've ever met in my entire life, and somehow, he knows not to try and molest me. He obviously did not learn the one or two manners he actually has from you! Shame on you!" she yelled as she continued swatting Mokomoko.

I could just see Kagome going off on like that, lol.



And this one.....I totally lost it. I can't even repeat it to my sister with a straight face!

From chapter 7 of Innocent Until Proven Guilty by Sesshoumaru's Fiend

"I came to inform you that should you ever lay a single finger on Higurashi Kagome again I'll punch you in the mouth so fucking hard that your teeth will be coming out your ass like Chicklets. Do I make myself clear?" Sesshoumaru ground out, threateningly.

This is from 'Do You Know How to Dance?'

“I know Kagome, and there is no way that she would just leave My Inuyasha, so that could only lead me to think that you are a home wrecker! I don’t know what you’ve got planned girl, but I will not allow my son to be mated to a scandalous succubus!” The elder woman stood from her table, towering at her short stature over the still seated miko, ready to leave before she turned and hissed at the younger woman.

“Kagome was much better for my boy, at least she knew who she was with and when.” with that she turned and left the younger woman fuming, having once again been told that Kagome was better then her by someone she didn’t even know, and unconsciously sending her ire to her mate through their still weak bond.

My Pet by PegasusRider. PegasusRider was one of the authors who got me liking the SessxKag pairing. The other being StrikingFalcon.

Amarante held out the fan to stop Kagome's flood of questions. “I'll tell you tomorrow morning at breakfast." She said in her silken voice. "So how has the party been?" She asked, glancing at her relative who was acknowledging a comment from a panda demon farther down the table.

"Boring." Kagome frankly said.

"I'm not surprised." Amarante said, batting Jakken away, who was hovering near her elbow. "These parties always are stuffy." She said, rolling her eyes before kicking the retainer away from the table.

"What parties aren't?" Kagome complained.

"It depends where you go!" Amarante winked, slyly glancing at Sesshoumaru. "Up North we have some pretty wild parties, right Sesshoumaru?"

Sesshoumaru cast a frown at her. "I have no idea what you speak of." Sesshoumaru grumbled.

Amarante let out a purr before leaning in. "Don't let him fool you. When we were kids he would always come to my birthday parties, which were a lot more fun then this!"

"I did miss one!" Sesshoumaru stubbornly resisted.

Amarante frowned. "That's right. He refused to come to my 94th birthday party. I was so depressed I went out and bought twenty ponies." Amarante told Kagome, tapping her lips.

Kagome's eyes bulged. "Do you still have them?"

"Do you want a pony?" Amarante countered.

From Kagome357's story Utopia(even though this a new story i just had to share this part)

Sesshomaru gently grabbed her hand and led it to his left ear. “Run your fingers along the edge in the way you would with your own.”

Kagome ran her fingers along his ear quickly, trembling slightly.

“Do not be nervous!” he snapped. “Take your time! My ear is not a magic lamp!”

“Your shitty tone isn’t helping,” Kagome gulped as she traced his ear with her fingertips, going slower this time. She marveled at how smooth it was. For some reason, she thought it would be hairy or horned even but it was soft and pliable like her own. She absently wondered what would happen if she ran her tongue across it.

Sesshomaru hissed slightly, so slightly that Kagome nearly missed it. He closed his eyes as she traced her fingers from the top and then curled her fingers underneath the back edge, going down the top to the bottom inside until she reached the bottom of his lobe.

Fascinated, she watched his aura glow a faint reddish-purple. He was turned on by this, she realized. She traced his inner lobe, her breathing turning shallow.

“You’re genuinely worried about all of this, aren’t you?” she asked absently.

Suddenly Sesshomaru tensed and stared at her. This was something that would have been said by a mate to her male after a long hard day at the office. He had been enjoying this, he realized. Too much, in fact. Somehow during this exercise their moods had shifted. There was something very personal and sensuous going on between them. He knew he was attracted to her but was she attracted to him?

He narrowed his eyes carefully. Had she sensed something, perhaps his acceptance of the gesture? Could she see his aura? He looked deeply into her eyes. “What are you thinking right now, Kagome?”

Kagome eyes widened as she leaned back. He was on to her. She needed to think of something.

“Look at you, thinking that someone wants you,” she smirked. “You’re so vain. You probably think this ear rub's about you.”

Sesshomaru sat back, eyeing her carefully. He had seen something. There was no mistaking it. She was...what was the word he was looking for?

Interesting.

you spin me right round by gypsiewine is chock full of funny bits! Carlos Man of Love almost made me choke on my tongue. The penguin arc is stuck in my mind at the moment. So enjoy an excerpt from chapter 31:

"Alright, Ayame, take notes!"

"Aye-aye, captain!" Ayame said whilst posing with a fluffy, yellow, smilely-face light up pen and a pink pad of paper with bunnies on it.

"What the bloody hell? Where did those come from?... Meh, never mind, it doesn't really matter. Ladies, we are going to need to order a ridiculous amount of little straw hats, you know, the kind with the chin elastic, one mini velour suit, preferably dark purple with gold trim, some small funky ass sunglasses, one mini ornate kimono and one samurai costume, a large pile of pink and blue ribbons, oh, and, did I mention the hats?"

"You did. But where the heck are we supposed to find little costumes?"

"Tori, I have not figured that out yet, but rest assured, I will think of something! I am, after all, your brave and fearless leader! Now, Ayame, I am making you the official Penguin Concierge."

"The what?"

"The Concierge. You know, that hotel dude, usually wears a nice suit, always seems to have a British accent, yadda-yadda-yadda?"

"Huh?"

"The man who quietly makes sure that the guests have what they need, handles the doormen, maids, and bellboys, and generally takes care of everything concerning the inner-workings of a hotel." Tori stage-whispered. Loudly. Naturally, Mateo was completely oblivious, her mind on more important things.

"Ah, gotcha."

"Right then ladies! Break!"

They did.

"Now, let's take five and discuss Johnny Depp's gorgeous ass over tempura!"

"No tempura for you! Here, have some Gatorade."

"God dammit, enough with the bloody Gatorade!"

This just keeps popping into my head for some reason... From forthright's 'Impeccable':

"Oh." Feeling ignorant and ill-at-ease, she ventured, "What about you? Don't you eat?"

"Yes, miss. I'll dine later."

"Miss, miss, miss," Kagome muttered glumly. "I have a name... and I don't even like asparagus."

He appeared so suddenly at her elbow, Kagome jumped. "Allow me, miss," Commandeering the tongs, he expertly deposited a generous serving on her plate.



Makes me giggle each time.

Her patiences was running thin. She really, truly felt bad because she could only imagine Sesshomaru was feeling much worse than she was, but it wasn't as if she were jumping for joy after being locked out of the world in which she practically lived. She realized it could take years for Inuyasha and the others to retrieve the jewel from Naraku without her help in sensing it's power. This left her, along with Sesshomaru, the ruthless, human hating demon, trapped in a world where mortals reigned supreme. This really couldn't end very well, but Kagome would do everything in her power to keep her home and family safe. Even if she had to fight Sesshomaru all on her own. How would she go about doing something like that? Well, she'd just wing it.

She assumed Sesshomaru saw her pass through the well, his curiosity got the better of him and somehow the well allowed him to pass through as well. It didn't make much sense to her. Up until now only she and Inuyasha had the power to do so. Perhaps Sesshomaru was mistaken for Inuyasha, being his brother and all. That didn't make much sense either. Although, really, nothing made sense anymore. Not after she had been transported to a different world via well. After something like that happens one tends to lose their grip on reality, ya know?

Kagome shook her head, which seemed to baffle the demon who had been watching her intently as her mind wandered further.

"Are you not aware of what I'm capable of, priestess?" Sesshomaru's tone was threatening but it didn't phase Kagome for some reason. Perhaps because she knew, and he knew, that he'd never get back without her help. In fact, he'd never survive here period, happily that is, without her help. There's no way he would travel the world just to kill every human he came across. He'd just have to learn to coexist until they found a way to pass onto the other side again.

"I'm aware." Kagome hissed, losing her patience, "Right now is not a time to be threatening the only person who can help you, lord bitchy pants!" She saw his eyes darken at the insult, "Just do me a favor and stop complaining for a second. I'm trying to think! You wanna go back to the well, fine! I'll take you there, but it'll only prove me right and you wrong! I know how the well works by now. It might have let you in which is... really confusing to me, but either way it won't let you back through without the power of the shikon no tama! Do you understand now?"

"You try my patience!" Sesshomaru all but hissed.

"You try mine!" Kagome blurted out. She grabbed her spring jacket and marched to the door, "Let's go, I'll take you to the stupid well."


Sadly, it's only got two chapters and I fear it may not be continued...

Of course it's a HOTM quote, but really, it's just too good...

"Look, you've been demolishing your pillows again in your sleep. You need this."

"...You know about that?"

"Of course. You think I don't know that you replace them on the sly? The down gets everywhere. And I do mean everywhere."

"Hn."

"Look. Just get out of here. Go kill something. You'll feel better, and I won't wake up with feathers in my crotch. Everyone wins."

"...What if I want you to have feathers in your- "

"Out!"

She Who the Prophecy Foretold by Sunset Miko
Chapter 37 - A Miko Belt or 'Damn it! Put Me Down!'

"Sesshoumaru?" she whispered.

"Yes, Kagome?"

"Are we still in the tree?"

"Yes, Kagome."


This always tickled the hell out of me.

This one line (and other lines in the same story) had me falling out of my chair. Laughing. Which LC is really good at doing to me, plus causing my monitor to become covered in whatever I might be drinking at that moment as well.

LC Rose's story, Dirty Dog

Her mind raced, trying to find her a way out of this latest predicament, and Kagome cursed to herself when her mind came up empty. Deciding maybe polite diplomacy would aid her, she cleared her throat as she stared up at the smoldering eyes of the daiyoukai before her. “Um, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she began, lending an extra edge to his title as if to remind the seemingly insane daiyoukai of who he actually was. “I think--”

“Too much,” he interrupted. “Why are you going when you could be cumming?”

i feel clique for using Tales From the House of Moon but this part always made me laugh and i remember one day being in the situation where the boy did nothing and i was so pissed cuz he did...nothing haaha so from then on this has always stuck with me


Kagome saw Fuyu's eyes narrow fractionally.

"Are you all right, girl?" the old woman demanded.

The old woman's eyes narrowed further. "It wasn't that youkai was it?" she snapped.

"What?" Kagome said again, thoroughly lost. "What wasn't him?"

What," Fuyu said, her voice filled with a hard, rough menace, "did he do to you?"

Kagome took a step backwards. "What?" she cried. "What are you talking about? He didn't do anything to me!"

There was a pause while the old miko glared at her a little more, seemingly for dramatic effect, before nodding her head curtly, as though some fundamental piece of a puzzle had suddenly dropped into place.

"I see," she said solemnly. "That is a problem."



it really is and all who have been in this situation realize how frustrating it is haha

i just thought this was outrageously funny and weird, this is from love in the corporate ladder by: inuyasha-n-kagome-rox142

Sweating profusely, Inuyasha peeked at his own cards.

“Um… fold.”

“Match,” Kagura said, not at all caring about the ridiculously high stakes Sesshoumaru was putting up. She tossed five gummy bears onto the growing pile.

Jakotsu seemed to take forever to think. “Match,” he said reluctantly. Jakotsu had the smallest pile of gummy bear chips; not that he kept losing, but that he kept eating them.

“Fold,” Bankotsu said.

“Show cards,” Miroku said, his hand stretching so ever so slightly…

Kagura glared at him. “Pervert, if you even think you can get away with it…”

Miroku’s hand shot back from where it had been creeping closer to the unconscious Sango and Kagome.

“Um, flush,” Jakotsu said.

“Full house,” Kagura said in delight.

“Straight,” Sesshoumaru said, calmly flipping over his cards.

He was greeted with loud wails of, “I could’ve sworn you were bluffing!”

“Ok, next round.” Miroku collected the cards and shuffled them.

“I don’t like poker,” Inuyasha said.

“Yeah, because you’re losing,” Bankotsu pointed out.

Sesshoumaru cleared the pile in the middle. Everyone placed one gummy bear in the middle, and the game started again.

“I have to win this one,” muttered Kagura. There was a red gummy bear in the pile, and damned if she wasn’t eating it.

“No, I’m winning.” There was a purple bear there and Jakotsu was having it, who cared about Kagura.

But Bankotsu was the one who won, and he immediately ate the red and purple.

“HEY!” Kagura looked tortured. “The red…”

Sango stirred.

“Cold cloth time,” mumbled Jakotsu.

“Stop mumbling, it’s your turn to go,” Inuyasha teased.

“I’ll go,” Miroku said.

“No, you won’t,” Kagura snapped. “I’ll go.” She sauntered off to the bathroom, coming back with two icy cold towels. Carefully, she placed the two on Kagome and Sango, before returning to her poker cards.

She glanced at her pile, before glaring at the rest. “Who stole some of my gummy bears?”

“You must’ve eaten them in your sleep,” Inuyasha offered.

“Besides, they were only pineapple, nothing special,” Jakotsu complained.

“And how…” Kagura advanced menacingly, “did you know it was pineapple?”

From Lady_Mist's "The ABC's of Family Life."

"This Sesshoumaru does not gut fruits."

Miss Kagura's Hot Firemen

"I make all colors sexy" - Sesshoumaru

And yes you do!

"It had all been a dream!"


The devastating reveal from Atonement by Miss Kagura.

phishbon3s wrote:
She Who the Prophecy Foretold by Sunset Miko
Chapter 37 - A Miko Belt or 'Damn it! Put Me Down!'

"Sesshoumaru?" she whispered.

"Yes, Kagome?"

"Are we still in the tree?"

"Yes, Kagome."


This always tickled the hell out of me.

Awwww! I'm on the list!

*Turns around and hides so no one hears the squee*

Another Tales from the House of the Moon by Resmiranda quote (I started reading this thread to find some new stuff and I absolutely love this story). Kagome's thoughts regarding Sesshoumaru and his views on her personal hygiene.

Sesshoumaru was just going to have to deal with the fact that she was a human being, and human beings collected dirt like rats collected bubonic plague.

Ew. Plague. And rats.

Haha, I felt the need to add this little quote from the same story. I might do this again, though. Too many hilarious moments in this story

Kagome entertained the small hope that, if the miko were indeed she, the whole bit about the battle was exaggeration. Maybe the miko and the madoushi played a friendly game of spades, settling the conflict like civilized people instead of poking at each other with pointy things. Somehow, though, that did not seem to be terribly likely, especially since that would mean she would get a break.

haha particularly love the part about 'poking at each other with pointy things' I read that and literally laughed aloud.

So I've decided that this also deserved to be recognized:

Gazing down the long wooden shaft of her arrow, Kagome leveled her sight at her age-old enemy and took careful aim.

All right, she thought with determination, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but only one of us is going to walk away from this, and I'm going to make damn sure it's me.

For some reason, this did not sound quite right. She paused.

Well, okay, she conceded after a second's thought, I guess no matter what the outcome, only one of us is going to walk away because you're a tree and trees can't walk. And if they did I wouldn't want to know about it, because that would just be creepy.

Still! The fact remains that I have to shoot you with this arrow, and I'm probably going to do it badly and then get hit with the spoon. Which is made of wood. Which was once a tree.

So it all evens out, I guess.

Ok so as I was reading FF there were so many lines that I just didn't want to forget so I kept them in a word document. Thing is I didn't write down the names of the FF they came from. But I'm sure you can find them in the 60 or so stories I've favorited on my fanfiction.net account.

Follow link: www.fanfiction.net/u/1675367/

There are to many to count so I'm going to put up a shorter list here. I have the full one on the main page of my profile on Dokuga. Every single one of these made me laugh out loud. I like to read it to get me in a happy writing mood.



- I heard what he said, but I pretended I hadn’t. That was something I was not ready to give answers about. Being human is nice sometimes, you can make those with superhuman abilities think you aren’t as adept at doing things as you are, and they just take it in stride. Suckers.

-She dares narrow her eyes at me? How intimidating does she think she looks with her hands balled up into little fists, she looks no fiercer than Rin does when she is picking flowers.

-"Hey! I knew what I was doing! .... kinda." Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed dangerously.

-Sesshoumaru's eyes widened noticeably, and his whole being stilled. Kagome thought he looked stunned.

-This whole exchange was lost on the humans present. None of them spoke possessive demon fluidly enough to have caught it.

-Wearily, Kagome used what was left of her failing strength to lift her head so that she could see the one that had come to her aid at the last minute…the VERY last minute…more like second actually.

-He would have bet his left arm. Oh, wait; he didn’t have a left arm. Pity.

-Sesshomaru lifted an eyebrow at the girl. The energy around him was becoming nearly annoying. Surely, it was not enough to cause any real harm to him; but still, it wasn’t very good for his skin.

-Inu Yasha is practicing death glares with some trees. Poor, innocent trees.

-How come he is most devastating when he’s monosyllabic?

-Oh great gods, all eight thousand of you.

-Maybe if he cut out her tongue? But then she’d probably moan quite a bit.
And why did that thought make his ears tingle?

-If he didn’t know better… no, best not to think of it. Thinking of it would only acknowledge it and acknowledging insignificant things only made them feel important. He’d already learned that lesson from his dealings with his half-brother.


-I continued to stare at her while a million and one ‘why’ questions were going through my head before I had finally decided that this was a waist of my time.


-"Cos' they'll eat Jaken first."

-“Please?” Kagome battered her eyelids.
“That’s disgusting.”
“Oh okay, I’m disgusting, now help me out! You idiot!”

-No, must’ve been his imagination. Yes, that was it. His imagination. He still wasn’t sure he possessed one though.

-while Inuyasha was busy saving Kikyo….of course. ‘Why is she always there, when we’re trying to fight anyway?’

-No fights were ever pretty in the feudal era, especially when it involved fighting for a female.

-Amused you, did I, she wanted to snap back, then bash him over the head with her first aid kit. Though she was pretty sure that wasn’t what it was intended for.

-Sesshoumaru could feel the anger in her aura, and it honestly frightened him slightly. Once again, he wondered what his own defense to purification was.

...and thats the edited version.