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Flames: How to deal with them?
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TOPIC: Flames: How to deal with them?
#68003
knifethrower
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 78
Lonelylark, you are one of my favorite fanfic writers. I appreciate that you share your creativity with myself and others. Your stories are wonderful. It is hurtful and puzzling when one comes across a person like this reviewer in real life or on the internet. There is an excellent book entitled "Toxic People", which explains a lot about people like this. It is best just to excise these negative vampires from your life and consciousness as soon as their pathology is detected. Breathe in deeply through your nostrils, filling your lungs from the bottom to the top. Now exhale completely, expelling all that negativity!
 
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#67954
Lonelylark
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Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 5
So, with this topic, I run the risk of ranting, but let me just say that I don't plan to just whine about this. I'm seriously wondering what I should do.

I received a very nasty review on ff.net today, unlike anything I've ever experienced. It read:

"Do you suffer from an Inferiority complex or Sadistic Personality Disorder?
There are treatments for that and I think it would be good for you and many of
us on fanfiction if you went and got yourself treated as soon as possible. Did
the shrink let you out of your straitjacket already or did you simply escape?
Because, your treatment is obviously not over as yet. You poor child. Your
story is a complete nonsense. Do us a favour AND GIVE UP."

Now, I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and that our opinions are not always going to jive. Some people may not like what I do with my story sometimes, and they've told me so, and that's okay. But up until now everyone's been super respectful, both here on Dokuga and on ff.net. I don't typically get offended, and when I do I let it slide because it's a free world. But I don't really know how to handle such a nasty message. I sent her a response that eloquently rebutted her review, and asked her never to speak to me again. I blocked her from my account (I don't really know what that does tbh), but I felt like I should report it. However, she cleverly submitted it anonymously, though she used her real name, and FF.net won't let me report it as such.

What I'm getting at is, does anyone have any experience with this? FF.net has changed so much that I don't really know how to use it anymore. I don't know how to delete that flame. And does anyone know if there's a way I can report such a review? Do you think it's even worth reporting?

I could really use some advice...
 
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#67955
Miss Anna
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 15
I would say not to respond to it because by responding to the reviewer all you are doing is allowing them to know that they got under your skin. And more than likely that is probably what they were trying to do in the first place.

You could try putting in your author note that you do not wish reviews from people who just want to flame you, and that instead they could pm you and discuss civilly what they don't like about your writing.

However like I said at the being it could be just that they want to get under your skin.
 
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#67956
Lonelylark
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 5
Thanks, although I guess I made the mistake by already responding -__-"

I just don't understand why...I've never even read one of her stories before, much less left a review...I guess I can't let that bother me. I'll just have to keep in mind what you said. Thanks!
 
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#67957
Miss Anna
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 15
Anytime!

Though honestly I have gotten flames before (earlier in my writing back in 2001-2002) and what seemed like was that they were mad at I had readers were as they didn't.

Honestly for people who flame it is just saying that they are petty, and why that it is...I have not a clue.
 
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#67959
Freya Ishtar
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 39
(I understand this post is lengthy- despite the rambling, there is no ranting or venting )

Okay, it's one thing to believe someone's writing needs work and say that. It's one thing to point out what one thinks is wrong with someone's story . . . This person was needlessly and pointedly ruthless. She makes a point- in the very last line- to say that she thinks your story didn't make sense, but doesn't say why she feels this way. It's been my experience that most readers when they don't understand why you had a particular incident occur or are taking your story in an unusual direction, they will usually come out and ask why you did that.

You already responded, but I think we've all had slip ups during our time writing fanfictions where we've done this, too- either directly via a message, or indirectly, but calling them out, by putting your response in an Author's Note- and given the context of this review, I'd say you probably couldn't help yourself at the time from wanting to know what it was that set her off.

I'm in agreement with Anna- a lot of times, there will be the case that you're the subject of someone lashing out 'cause they think their writing is the best thing to ever grace the internet (how true to reality this may or may not be notwithstanding) and how dare you get reviews, or more reviews then them. Sometimes, it really simply is that they want to make you feel bad about your work and second guess your writing. To reinforce that point, I would like to remind you that this reviewer did not actually state what the reason was that she thought your story didn't make sense. She also could have- if this is what she truly felt- simply said that one thing and let it go; I've read many entries on FF.net where I was like 'oh my god, this writer needs so much help,' but then I go and read the reviews and there are already constructive criticisms from other people, addressing the points I was going to bring up, so I just left it alone (even people trying to be helpful can make you feel down in the dumps about your work after getting the some comment 10 times, ya know?). Yet there was not one instance- for these stories that needed a lot of assistance- of someone just going off on the writer they way this person did with you.

This was not a constructive criticism, this was someone being cruel for a reason that likely has nothing to do with you. I would have said report it as abuse, but as it's anonymous, you can simply delete it. Next either revise the first chapter to add an Author's Note, or put it in your next chapter advising to your readers that flames (and yes, some people try to play dumb and act like they don't know what constitutes a flame, so you may want to briefly explain it as a needlessly mean/negative comment that does not make any attempt to help the author better their writing) will be reported as abuse.

That she submitted it anonymously also shows that she has no real grounds for the comment she left.
 
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Last Edit: 2011/07/25 11:56 By Freya Ishtar.
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#67962
Lily Noir
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 11
I've never had a flame so I don't know what it's like, but if you really want to respond, then turn it around (in a roundabout kind of way). See, my first reaction to the flame above was to laugh, seriously, she sounded like the one who neded to be in a straight jacket XP.

Well, my reaction would have been something like this:
Dear _____, thank you for reviewing. I can honestly say that I haven't been in such an institution For some reason people never saw me as one who fit the requirements to check into that kind of place I always wondered why, people call me batty and insane often enough Though, I can only guess that their standards are pretty high and that I dont quite cut them. Shame really, I always wanted to wisit such a place, seems fun.

- Humiliate her by being the better person, not one who gets mad but one who doesn't let that kind of sh** bother you. Freely joke about it and ignore her after that, move on. Turn everything around and make a joke out of it, life will be soooo much easier for you and everyone else, those kinds of peopl thrive on negative emotions/responses. She is obvously the petty one, treat her like a fly (see that she exists, laugh at the antics and ignore her afterward, her existance doesn't mean anything to you)

And who knows, maybe you'll meet her in that place while you're sightseeing ;P

~lily
 
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#67966
sugar0o who lurks
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 216
As an admin, I'm going to say lets try to keep this thread away from ranting, not that it has, just don't want it to get there. the thread admins have batons and yeah... they sparkle!

Anyolehoot.

As an author, i will say to just ignore it. People take a lot of things for granted. The flamer probably doenst have anything else going on, and felt the need to flame for this reason.

Try to think of it like this, What kinda person flames free fanfiction? What kinda life do they have, that makes it so that flaming you was the best thing they had to do at that moment?

Maybe it's mean, but i think about it like this, on average, depending on how many view your story updates you might get 1 review out of every 5 - 100 readers. They aren't bothered with taking the time to review sometimes just b/c they are lazy, or they don't review, or whatever reason.

Now, that one negative reviewer, took the time to "think" that they thought up something nice and nasty to dampen your spirits. What does that say about them? and after that question, Why worry or get upset about them anyway?

Not to say that you shouldn't, we should all be accountable for our words and actions, but still, they are probably rather lame, or jealous, and just taking it out on you b/c they can, and that's truly lame.

I know we all love positive reinforcement that we did something good, and that others like it as much or more then we do, but we cant have them all love it, and sometimes that lesson of " if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," wasn't learned by everyone. Some people honestly just get happy by making others miserable.

BUT! On the plus side, FFN does offer it's authors a bit of control. You've already started by blocking her so that's good, but you can also remove her review.

1. got to sign in, on FFN
2. reviews on the far left
3. remove review
4. click on the fic
5. hit view annon. reviews.
6. delete

Anything under her real SN, can be reported, otherwise. I hope this helps a bit :3
 
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#67968
Caleesci
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 9
Lonelylark,

Do not take it to heart. FF.net has been experiencing issues with some person tagging other people's names in their scathing reviews. More than likely it has nothing to do with your actual work, but is instead someone's idea of a sick prank. I had this happen to my story as well last week. I had a long conversation with the one who was marked as the "reviewer" and she dutifully informed me of this. She doesn't even read Inuyasha fanfics

So, don't take it to heart! Instead, focus on the reviews that are truly doing what they are meant to, to help you improve your writing in a friendly, and professional way.

I hope you do not let this get you down!

Sincerely,
Caleesci
 
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#67969
zandrellia
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 14
Ever notice that these kinds of flames always come several chapters in? I'm not the only one who gets those, right? I always wondered about that. Why would someone seriously spend their time reading your story if it was really all that bad? If it seriously didn't make sense why would they keep reading? I know I don't keep reading things that don't jive with me.

That makes me think that the person reviewing is often lying out of desperation. They feel they aren't getting from you something they want. Either they want the characters to develop a certain way, or the plot to go a certain direction, or some other thing that you are apparently not giving them. Most likely they believe that by upsetting you then you will give them what they want.

I get this a lot. "Oh so and so should have lived!" or "Such and such couple should be together!" or "Oh my gosh how dare you do that to xyz!" or "I hate stories like this" or "Why would you use this pairing? I hate this pairing! Here is a lengthy essay on why..." ... I've received threats, demands, complaints, begging, excessively personal comments ... oh all kinds of reviews/flames but the fact is that they were all the same in the end. They can be categorized in two ways: 1) I gave the reader something they wanted or 2) I didn't.

The real question is: Does that bother you if you don't? Who do you really write for? Do you write for them or do you write for yourself?

Personally, I write for myself. I write because I enjoy it and I can't imagine not writing. I don't really care much if I make people happy and frequently give people exactly what they 'ask' for without giving them anything that they 'want' just to prove a point - it's fun for me and I am writing the story. If they want things to go a certain way they should write it themselves.

I admit that I used to worry about such reviews/flames before. I thought that perhaps I really was just writing tripe and didn't want to keep subjecting people to such things but, after asking around, found that I was just being silly.

tl;dr = Let it go. You're the writer of your story. They aren't. The end.
 
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#67971
cakeiton
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 55
flames- obviously they're not digging what you are putting out there. why they have to vocalize it is beyond me, but i try to distinguish between a flame and constructive criticism.
I got this one saying "I swore I have read this one before, are you plagiarizing?" THAT one pissed me off, but was promptly removed.
All in all, I don't really give much credit to flames since they wanted to discredit me. Luckily, this site is extremely supportive and stuff like that doesn't happen often.
 
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#67997
Lonelylark
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 5
Thanks everyone! You've all given me some good advice that, although I knew, i just couldn't deal with. I guess sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else

And thanks rOo! I managed to delete that nasty review!
 
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#68016
MoxyMikki
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 29
I just wanted to thank everyone for keeping this a constructive thread rather than it turning sour. Its really awesome how Dokugans rally around one another with possitivism (I think I might have just made that word up) and support! I love not having to use my Sparkly Baton
 
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#68021
None
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Re:Flames: How to deal with them? 12 Years, 9 Months ago Karma: 57
Yeah, I've seen those a few times too, usually posted anonymously as the original review can't be 'tracked' to a user-account, and be pm-ed about it etc. If they're tagging anonymously just to get another author into trouble, it wouldn't surprise me either. People do strange things to get attention.

I'd suggest just outright blocking anonymous reviews all together. It won't stop flames entirely, as even registered users could still flame as well but at least you'll have the comfort of reporting them from there. If you block anonymous reviewing in your account on FFNet, they'll be forced to login or register to 'Leave' a review, otherwise they won't bother. I've done this myself, and so have other FFNet authors too.

Chin up though, don't take the Flame to heart, it's just an attempt to get your attention and incite a reaction. It is usually what the Flamer does to bait and hook you in to responding, they then sit back and watch what happens.

~ Pyre
 
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