Inuyasha needs to DIE!  This story is just so intense that it involks my darkest desires to see that flea bag scum crushed into oblivion. Sorry about that but thats how good this story is to me. Great job! Keep it coming and update soon.

Men, everything is almost over. I do hope that Kagome and Sesshoumaru suffer in some way. They both messed up badly. Good work by the way. :)

Man, Kagome, you had a few bad ideas!  Like Shakespeare wrote:  Oh, what tangled webs we weave, when we practice to deceive!  Now, Jaken is setting you up to take a big fall.  I always love to not love Jaken...

Oh, wow, what a complicated mess!  I just want everyone to be happy, but how can they be?

Oh, NOW InuYasha seems contented and as though he would be a good husband.  Now I feel a little bad, especially after Kagome tricked him into thinking he was her FIRST.  Not often I feel bad for InuYasha, except when he is being discriminated against. 

Oh, dear, so sad, so many misunderstandings!  Sesshomaru is jealous of InuYasha, of course he is, he always has been!

Oh, wow, things are happening fast here!  Nice lemon writing.  Very very nice lemon writing!

There were a bunch of times in this chapter when I wished I could say to you:  "Exactly!  That's just what I think!"

Sesshomaru wouldn't care a bit about Kagome, except that she is so feisty.  She can be sweet, but there is just so much she is willing to stand for!  And Sesshomaru has shown himself to be eccentric and contrary in all the chances we have to observe him.  No matter how much he claims to be logical, and emotionless, he is very quirky!  He loves to ruffle feathers.

I can see him as regarding this whole thing as terribly amusing.

Oh, dear me!  That was a surprise ending to the chapter!  I loved it, and can't wait to find out what happens next!

Keep it coming.

Kagome's dream sequence was full of beautiful description.  The details about the slip of a dress Kagome was wearing in the dream, and the cherry blossoms, were very evocative and created both a vivid mental picture in my head, and set the mood as well.  Beautiful!  Then, in the way of dreams, it became disturbing, and brought in Sesshomaru, who had been on her mind.  Once again, I felt the detail you used, about her waking to gold, and thinking it was InuYasha, but the golden eyes being slanted, was very effective and drew me in emotionally.  In this chapter, I am starting to get a glimpse of something that was withheld in chapters one and two, and that is involving the reader through the senses.  Chapter one, in particular, was very logical and businesslike.  Now, I am feeling.  I always think just a mention of color, and motion, and sensation draw the reader in, and this is what you have done here.  I can identify with Kagome, and begin to feel her emotions, see colors through her eyes, feel the slip of a dress blowing in the wind, like the petals of the cherry blossoms.   

The element I found most intriguing about this chapter was your original character, Mai.  Some original characters take over a fanfic, supplanting the canon characters.  I almost always avoid reading fanfics where the original characters take over.  Usually a character who supplants the canon hero or heroine is a Mary Sue, a device whereby the fanfic author inserts themselves into the story.  A lot of readers, myself included, tend to not be fond of original characters because of over exposure to the dreaded Mary Sue.  Use of an archetypal character, on the other hand, usually delights and intrigues me.  Now, to me, a lot of the things that add up to a brilliant story come from the fountainhead that was Carl Jung.  Foreshadowing, synchronicity, archetypal characters.  Mai, I think, could be classified as a variant on the Mad Wise Woman, a very cool archetypal figure.  Living in isolation, the Mad Wise Woman would ignore the usual strictures society placed upon females.  She often provided birth control and sometimes terminated unwanted pregnancies, as well as an array of remedies, prognostications, and spell-casting.  I think Mai is a wonderful rendering of this type of character, quirky and eccentric and refreshingly honest.  Great work!   

Keep it coming.

Why do I feel as if the confrontation between the brothers is going to happen soon? I just hope everything turns out alright in the end.

I can't wait for the showdown between inuyasha and sesshomaru. I hope nothing bad happens to kagome

Kagome is not the only one getting an uneasy feeling from InuYasha, I am too!  I know from experience, a man that says he is ready for forever, but has a funny look in his eye probably has some nasty secrets.  Secrets that he's just waiting to spring on you when the timing is right to guarantee maximum psychological damage!  Kagome is growing up, I can tell by her newfound prudence in dealing with InuYasha- she's still in love, but she's learned caution.  At sixteen, she was not so wise!  I'm very impressed with your precise use of language in this chapter, you are telling us everything we need to know to set up the story, so we are getting a lot of facts, but also foreshadowing of some of the tensions that are bound to erupt in later chapters.  Well done, I'm hooked...

Keep it coming.

I kind of like your story the only problem is its inconsistent usage of tenses

Keep it coming.

hmm, I am torn... I don't know if I want him to live or die. It's cruel what he did to Rin. I don't know if she will ever forgive him Maybe Inuyasha should loose a limb, die, or be banished??? I really can't see Rin forgiving him! I also feel that Kagome and Sesshoumaru should also suffer. He was not there for Rin or jaken when he should have been there. He says that there is a connection with Jaken, then he should have felt Jaken being hurt. Kagome hurt Inuyasha and left without any explanation. I don't know how they should suffer though. Maybe Rin may not want nothing to do with Seshoumaru and his retainer may leave him??? I feel like that is not enough though.  I just don't know those are some of my ideas.