Reviews for The Second Journey by Smortz

Page 11 of 11
<< Start < Prev 11 Next > End >>
lara (Chapter 4) - Sun 06 Mar 2011

this looks interesting already......I hate to say that it appears that Sessh has not changed at all since Kagome last saw him. Even though they became familiar with each other before they killed Naraku & he took  care of Rin, the human girl..I was hoping that he'd be kinder to Kagome but it seems he still dislikes her & sees her as a weak,worthless human.  

when the 2 tai-youkai arrived in the middle of Kagome having it out with dark priestess & after she called Kagome a 'demon whore' they felt & saw the immense power that Kagome used when she formed her power into a sphere that pulsed sending out lightening like strikes in all directions & then when she shoved the palms of her hands toward the dark priestess the attack came not from her hands but from above & it hit her dead on............Then after she got the cure for Kaede the evil priestess asked to feel the warmth of Kagomes power before she died & when Kagome let out the comforting warmth of her power & both youkai felt that comforting strength that Sessh & his inner beast enjoyed & the dragon felt as if he was surrounded by the love of his mother..

.I like how after they watched Kagome fight,interact & finish with the dark priestess & how you described what each of the demons thought & felt in response to the 2 types of power Kagome showed during her interaction with the woman before burying her.....I was a little confused when you described Kagome introducing herself to the dragon & looking him over & you mentioned Kagome noticing that his eyes were silver & he had 2 horns covered in navy locks coming out of his head,but then you said she was shocked when she felt the faintest arousal & I was wondering if she felt arousal coming from the dragon or from herself . I was hoping that Kagome wasn't feeling  arousal from herself towards the dragon because I want Kagome & Sessh together & Sessh being a powerful dog demon can smell arousal & can tell from the scent whether it was coming from Kagome or the dragon. 

I can't help but wonder why Kagome would be trapped 500 yrs in the past alone ...without any family & all her friends moving on & starting their own families....it's like she doesn't have a place for herself .When she was their before she gave alot of herself & suffered greatly...between people always trying to kill her for being the Shikon Miko, all those years they searched for the jewel shards she had to be in physical,emotional & mental pain after having part of her soul torn from her body & with Inuyasha in love with Kikyo & always running to her ...I know it hurt to have Inuyasha treat her badly,talk down to her & compare her to Kikyo all the time but then I had to wonder if Kagome felt pain from a tugging on her soul when Kikyo was around.

You haven't told us in this story yet what happened to the jewel after they killed Naraku & completed it...all you said was Kagome was sent back to her time & then when it allowed her to return to the past she was 20 & she's trapped there now. I was wondering if it is normal for a Miko to shoot power from above which gives me hope that maybe Kagome isn't human & she was returned to the past because when she reaches 21 she'll become something else....a being that is powerful,respected & hopefully immortal so she can see her family from the future again. I'm also looking for reasons Sessh would see her & want her as a love interest &  I know for him...she has no chance if she's human because of many reasons.....hanyou pups with no control that are weak...He needs a powerful heir & a powerful & beautiful female...& as a dog demon scent is a major factor....well if Kagome is becoming other than human..Sessh will be able to tell from her scent very soon as he was highly aware of her body being very close to his body 

& Sessh didn't like the idea of having to save a human...

 I like how the dragon actually said since we helped you now you should help us. If I was Kagome I would have been laughing in my head...what did he do... 1st of all her fight with the dark priestess was half her  quest,until Kaede was healed her quest isn't done.

I look forward to the next chapter & what happens next & where your story is taking us...


soulNchantress (Chapter 4) - Sun 06 Mar 2011

That was an impressive chapter.  It just seemed to flow so smoothly.  Excellent job.  I can't wait to read even more!


Sesshomaru (Chapter 3) - Sat 05 Mar 2011

Sesshomaru and I, Headalphafemale are enjoying your story. Sorry, but I don't like dragons, but I do enjoy the interesting way these events are taking place. We are enjoying your characters too. Please continue to expand your story. Thank You.


Ceysna (Chapter 3) - Sat 05 Mar 2011
O.O Oooooooo, this is gonna be good! Kcik her bootie Kags!!I like it when she kicks but! More updates please?

lara (Chapter 1) - Fri 04 Mar 2011

I can't help but love this story already...I love Sessh & Kagome stories,well I like the ones where they fall in love with each other. I can't help but get upset that every stories seems to have Kagome constantly suffering,unloved,unhappy,unwanted,always being used by others & then after suffering alone over & over while others get what they need & want........ she always has to suffer being used & treated as weak. This story gives me an uncertain feeling,why was she sent/allowed thru the well...just because of her love for Inu,only to end up trapped 500yrs in the past & just by chance recruited to assist Sessh on this mission to basically be used & face death with the possibility of surviving only to end up living a horribly sad & boring life as a village Miko surrounded by dirt,dirty people that are constantly sick...& her only option for love would be some dirty,uneducated,poor ,stupid village guy...

in your story so far you haven't told us what happened with the jewel,if it's gone,if there was a wish or what it was if there was one. You also only mentioned that Kagome is no longer the gawky looking teen & has matured into a beautiful woman...some stories say she has brown eyes but I prefer her to have a different eye color & I also hope she let her hair grow very long

..I really hope if Kagome is trapped in the past its because she belongs there & I guess that's why I like the idea that she's either really from that time & not really human or that .. I find more & more I like the stories where Kagome was sent thru the well for her protection or to learn about humanity & with a destiny to change the world from the annhilation of youkai, pollution & basicall change things for the better.....I like the idea she's not really human & her destiny is to return to the past & change into a powerful immortal being ...either a rare type of Miko/Inu youkai or a tenshi ..a being born of the Kami's as a demi god with the power,strength & ability to save humanity,youkai,heaven & earth....as a being with an enormous soul & aura such as she,I really hope she starts changing & soon....with Sessh near her he would be able to smell if her body no longer held the smell of decay as all humans do (since they start dying the day they are born) & he would be able to smell & sense any changes/additions in her aura,her body & her being.Plus the sooner & more obvious that Kagome is more than either a weak human or just a powerful Miko which would still make her human.....as I was saying for Sessh to accept Kagome,respect & care for her & protect her & to keep Kagome from having to suffer & worry about being alone. I really hope in your story you allow her to have someone she can trust,  a real partner who will look after her & watch her back. 

Well it's your story,sorry for my babbling & l look forward to your next chapter.

 


soulNchantress (Chapter 3) - Fri 04 Mar 2011

Now, that's what I'm talking about!  I love stories that make Kagome stronger, but I don't like her too strong.  (Read: Infallible.)  She's not meant to be all know/all seeing/ and all capable.  You are doing an excellent job of balancing her power with her...ummm...humanity. (Humans make mistakes, Kags should to.)  Of course, this is just my opinion, but I love the way you have wrote Kagome.

I love this story!!  Thanks for updating, and I'm waiting for the next one! :-)


lara (Chapter 3) - Fri 04 Mar 2011

Well I look forward to this & I hope Sessh falls in love with Kagome...I can't help but wish Kagome could become indestructible , Maybe that is why I like it when Kagome become's a Miko-Inu-Yokai


kitsuneonna (Chapter 1) - Fri 04 Mar 2011

This is an excellent start to an interesting story. I've seen more than a few grammatic oopses that interrupt the flow of your sentences, so I would suggest finding a beta who sees them as well. I'm not offering to be that person, because I have a few obligations of my own. However, if they can spot the incomplete sentence fragments and offer suggestions on fixing them then they're good to go.

I didn't see many notable examples in the way of spelling errors, however 'identicle' in the beginning of the third chapter jumped out and bit me on the ass. You'll want to change that to 'identical'. I'm sure you'd have found it on your fourth read, I'm just helping out lol.


Keep up the good work tho--it's nice to see a new story that doesn't fall in with the 'true love in the second chapter' fics that populate Dokuga. I'm not saying they're bad, but I'm not an instant gratification type of reader.


Anna (Chapter 3) - Fri 04 Mar 2011

Oooooo! I'm so intrigued and can't wait to find out what happens next! I'll be waiting for the next update! Keep up the great work, your writing is really great so far and I hope to see it develop even more as you keep on going!


soulNchantress (Chapter 2) - Thu 03 Mar 2011

Yeah!!  Another story to put an APB out on.  I added you to my favorites.

Wonderful Job!!

More.  More.  More!!!


KEdakumi (Chapter 2) - Thu 03 Mar 2011

Such a great start.  I love how everyone is in character and you are making it such a natural flow from the original manga.  Can't wait for more!


Rooks (Chapter 2) - Thu 03 Mar 2011

I really enjoy this story. Please keep writing dear!


Page 11 of 11
<< Start < Prev 11 Next > End >>

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
No money is being made from the creation or viewing of content on this site, which is strictly for personal, non-commercial use, in accordance with the copyright.