Author’s Parody by MLMonty

Dead Clay Pot?

Hello all! This fic is a parody, so don't take it seriously by any means. It will be a series of oneshots and drabbles (not interconnecting) poking fun at things AUTHORS of fanfiction do.  It is quite likely that at some point you will feel offended because you recognize a chapter as something YOU have done....oh well. I will be poking fun at errors in grammar, dialogue, clichés, spelling issues, txt typing, a/n and so much more. For those of you feeling brave enough to read it hopefully it'll be funny.  Or you can laugh at my attempt at humor. I'll be using my normal sarcastic humor that my friends and family know me for...and I often find things funny that others don't, like in Cost of Refusal having Sesshoumaru referring to his attraction to Kagome as bestiality.  Now enjoy!

Chapter one-Dead Clay Pot?

"How dare he bring that disgusting dead clay pot into our group?" shrieked Kagome.

Sesshoumaru had sat there for the last fifteen minutes listening to the miko rant about Inuyasha bringing another woman into their group, without apparently consulting the other members, though he saw no reason for Inuyasha to do so, if he was the leader what he said goes. For someone who insisted that she didn't love the hanyou anymore she certainly kept going on about his woman.

"I mean really she's a dead clay pot how disgusting is it to rut with something like that? And let's not forget she's tried to kill me several times and has given Naraku the jewel shards before."

Sesshoumaru shifted against the tree he was leaning on and decided that his confusion was enough to warrant interrupting the miko's rant, though her ire was likely to turned toward him. She had brought this up several times in the last few minutes and it was bugging him.

"Miko."

"What!"

"This Sesshoumaru wants to know why you keep referring to the other miko as a 'dead clay pot'."

Kagome huffed and looked at him as if she felt it was obvious. "That's what she is! She's dead and a clay pot."

"Miko, while the other one had died she was also resurrected making her the undead, so you are incorrect in that aspect. And while her shell is made of clay I see nothing to make her a pot. She hardly looks like something you would cook with."

"No! Not that kind of pot. The kind you plant flowers in."

"Miko, why would someone plant flowers in a pot whey they grow everywhere? You would waste a valuable cooking pot with something so frivolous. And how would the undead one resemble this pot, you can hardly plant flowers in her?"

"Where I come from flowers don't grow everywhere. People buy clay pots to plant them in to make their homes pretty. And she resembles one because she's made out of clay!"

"Your argument does not make sense. If you insist on insulting her behind her back perhaps you should think of better insults." Sesshoumaru stood and began to walk away from the irate miko. Why had he agreed to befriend the girl? "Oh, and, miko, how can a clay pot be dead, it was never alive to begin with?"

"Gah!"

Sesshoumaru chuckled at the sound of her frustration. Really, though a 'dead clay pot' certainly the girl could think of a better insult?