Both chapters are great, keep it coming.
As good as you're story sounds you need to it up. You're tenses are all over the place, switching from past, to present, to future tenses. You're persectives are also all over the place switching from first to third person every other line. This is great for a first draft but needs some serious editing. Also you don't need a new paragraph for one persons thoughts/dialogue, it's confusing and makes me think that the other person is talking when it was the first person.
Seriously not meaning to be rude but offering some constuctive critisisms.
R
JouJous (Chapter 26) - Sat 13 Apr 2013
Kagome is soooOOoooo... X_____x but Sesshomaru is sooooo ooOOOOoooo gorgeous! so lovely story ^^
Keep it coming.
Cherry (Chapter 19) - Wed 10 Apr 2013
I started to read this story a couple days ago, and I am loving it. It started off a little boring at first, Lol!, but by the time I read chapter four I couldn't stop. I am almost up to the final chapter posted and it has gotten so much better. Please don't end it soon, I love the way you write.
Kaycee (Chapter 25) - Wed 10 Apr 2013
I like the story so far, I love that you are not rushing them, they need time to get to know each other so that their will be no more misunderstandings in the future. Although I see the story coming to a conclusion soon, I hope you will keep writing more Sess/Kag
Keep it coming.
I hope that they can overcome all their problems because I'd just hate to see them split up due to some misunderstanding
Keep it coming.
Keep it coming.
Oh no! Will their problems never end? I hope that everything turns out right in the end!
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