The twisted humor of St. Nick by Sidhe

The conspirators unite

a.n. - this story is brought to you by the author's perverted imagination and the need to test my lemon writing abilities. ::grins::

"Is he coming?"

The male twitched impatiently, almost dancing in his agitation.

The second male hit the disconnect on his cell phone, before turning to face the first. His blank face caused the first male to glare.

"Well??!!"

A wide, impish grin suddenly covered the face of the second male, eyes gleaming with mischief. "He says he's in."

The howl of success the first male let out, along with the vigorous victory dance, had the second male laughing. Though he did sober after a moment. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of coarse I do! It's perfect!"

The second male's eyes turned thoughtful. "I know you two don't get along, so why drag the wolf into your plot?"

"Bah! He talks big, but ever since he got himself mated to Ayame, he's has been hunting around for someone he thought would do."

"And you two thought he would fit the bill?" Amusement colored the second male's voice. 'You'd best hope he doesn't murder you for this....'

"At least he isn't a mutt," came the came the raspy voice of said wolf. The door slammed shut, behind him, and Koga practically pranced his way toward his two co-conspirators.

"Ah, shut up, ya flea-bitten wolf!"

Koga just smirked.

"Quit it, you two!" The second male rolled his eyes. "You don't want them to figure it out!"

"Yeah, Inuyasha!" Koga grinned. "Don't want them getting wise to it before the scheduled time! But, just out of curiosity, how do you know this'll work?"

The hanyou crossed his arms with a smirk.

"That's why he's here," he said, pointing towards the second male.

The second male rubbed his hands together in a cartoonishly super-villain way, ruby eyes gleaming. "I am, after all, the master of intrigues."

The other two snickered at Naraku's antics.

Now, at one time in their lives, they had been quite wary of the spider-hanyou's machinations.

As children, growing up within blocks of each other, they had had a 'friendly' rivalry. At least, that's what their parents had called it. The females of their unusual little pack had called it 'drawn out warfare'.

But, like any family, the three males would drop anything on the spot in defense of the others.

They had to be the oddest pack that Inuyasha had ever heard of.

Four ookami, two inu-hanyou, a spider-hanyou, a pervert of a houshi-in-training, a taijiya-in-training, three miko-in-training, a kitsune, and one little boy who managed to be almost as devious as the spider-hanyou.

Kagome's little brother, Souta, had become what Naraku teasingly called 'his young apprentice' in a very Darth Vader-ish way. They were the perfect pair of troublemakers.

Still, Inuyasha wouldn't trade his adopted pack for anything in the world, Koga included.

The other two were still bickering, when he moved towards the staircase, the others following.

When he entered his room, though, the other two looked up. And when he shut the door, a look of rapt attention covered the faces of the two canine demons.

Naraku's eyes narrowed in mock seriousness. "Now, here's what we're gonna do..."

Kikyo, Sango, and Kagome watched the three males suspiciously.

They ware up to something, they just knew it.

"Should we go 'investigate," Kikyo asked, a scowl on her usually serene face.

By investigate, she meant 'throw open the door and threaten the three with dismemberment unless they confessed'.

Sango was about to voice her approval of the notion, when Kagome shook her head.

"No, lets just wait and see. We have a warning, already. And besides, it's almost Christmas. They may be plotting something around that,"

The girl had no idea how right she was.

It was, however a sensible plan, and the other two girls agreed. Who wanted to be the one to ruin a Christmas surprise?

After a moment's more contemplation, the three girls turned away from the huge mansion across the street.

"So Kagome, did you manage to get all of your shopping done?"

The girl smiled. "Barely. I had the wolves and Naraku done ages ago. Shippo was a bit harder, but I found him a book on 'Enhancing your Illusions', by that kitsune author he's always admired."

"Oh, that's wonderful, Kagome," Kikyo said with a smile. "I tried finding that book for him, but everyone was sold out!"

A sparkle appeared in the girl's dark blue eyes. "Apparently, my cousin knows him and he had him autograph a copy for me."

Sango giggled. "I can't wait to see his face!"

Kagome laughed. "Anyways, them, you two, and Kaede, Inuyasha and Rin, Souta and I just got Miroku's gift yesterday."

Suddenly, Kikyo's eyes widened. "Did Inuyasha forget to tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Kikyo scowled. "He did, that..." she cut off with a grumble.

"Kikyo?"

"His older brother is coming home for Christmas. I wouldn't have said anything, but I know how you are. You'd never forgive yourself is you had gotten something for everyone but him."

Kagome gasped, hand clapped over her mouth. "I'm going to kill him! Christmas eve is tomorrow! All the shops will be closed!"

Kikyo bit her lip and sympathy shown in her brown eyes. "I'm sorry, Kagome! He said he was going to tell you!"

Kagome scowled. "He better steer clear of me until tomorrow," she said through gritted teeth. And the brother would be the hardest to find a gift for, too.

The idea of the inu-hanyou shaking in fear of the tiny female was humorous, and Sango couldn't help herself.

Peels of laughter shook her from head to foot, and Kikyo couldn't stop herself from joining in.

Finally, Kagome stopped scowling and also laughed. "Okay, so I'm not very threatening..."

"Kagome, you're all of maybe five feet! And he still gets that panicked look whenever you say 'sit'!

When they had been ten, Inuyasha had once managed to infuriate the girl so thoroughly, that she'd enchanted a rosary for the boy. He'd worn it for a month, plummeting face first into the dirt every time she said the magic word. It had taken him the entire month to win himself back into her good graces and get her to remove it.

Hmph...He'd never stolen her teddy bear, again!

The girls finally regained control of themselves, deciding that it was time to go and try to hunt down a gift for Inuyasha's brother...a particularly picky inu by the name of Sesshomaru.

'It just had to be The Killing Perfection,' Kagome thought with a silent groan.

She'd shopped for him before, when he'd still lived at home. And though she was one of the very few who could boast of successfully buying for the young inuyoukai, it didn't make it any easier.

Now that he was home for break from the University, she found herself hoping that his tastes hadn't changed much.

He always did look good in silk...Just the other day, she'd seen the most beautiful silk shirt. It was black, with a deep metallic blue undertone that would look amazing against the snowy pale tone of his skin and his moon-silver hair.

When Kagome suddenly broke into a trot at the end of the street, the other two girls traded looks of confusion, before hurrying after her.

"Where are we going?" Kikyo called out, a bit breathless from the pace. 'Must remember to exercise, more' she huffed to herself.

"I know what to get him," Kagome called back. "I just hope it's still there!"

Sango just shrugged, jogging lightly after the girl.

They arrived barely a half hour before the shop closed, and they trooped inside.

"There it is!" Kagome said with a sigh of relief.

The shirt hung on a stand just in front of the dressing rooms. It was rather expensive, which was the reason she hadn't bought it for anyone in her family. Her grandpa preferred his shrine attire, and Souta was too young.

It might be a bit big, she thought worriedly.

Inuyasha's brother Sesshomaru had a delicate, androgynous beauty. He was tall and broad shouldered, but for all of that, he looked almost feminine. His face was faintly rounded, the cheeks smooth as a girl's and red markings shading his eyes like eye shadow. Still, the shirt seemed to call for her to buy it for him.

The silk slid through her fingers like water as she carefully lifted it from the stand, and she draped it over her arm to keep it from falling.

There was a pair of gasps from behind, and Kagome turned with a smile.

"Oh, Kagome...it's gorgeous! He'll have to like it!"

She smiled at Sango. "I saw this the other day when I came in to buy for Souta, but didn't know of anyone to get it for. I almost wanted to cry when I had to leave it behind!"

"I don't blame you," Kikyo said.

The three girls shared a playful sigh over how the inu would look with the silk draped over his slender body, then they giggled as Kagome checked out.

Mission accomplished!

The three males had long ago ended their plotting, and had just finished pulling all the boxes of decorations from the attic, when the rest of their odd little tribe arrived.

The first through the door was a slender kitsune male with long red hair that spilled down his back. He was followed by a willowy inu-hanyou girl. The pair of fifteen year-olds lugged sacks of gifts over their shoulders, smiling when they caught sight of the three wayward males.

"Shippo! Rin! You're just in time!"

The girl grinned and ran to hug the three. "Have the others arrived?"

Just then, the front door slammed shut, and five more faces appeared in the door-way. Kikyo's little sister, Kaede was first, followed by Ginta and Hakkaku, then Ayame, and bringing un the rear was Miroku, who had kindly offered to carry Kaede's bag as the small teen had begun to drag it from the car.

There was hugs all around, though the females were watchful of the houshi's hands.

"Should we call the others?"

"They should be on their way."

And right on cue, the last four made their way into the room.

It had become a tradition in the Taisho house, that every year, the fourteen of them would get together the night before Christmas eve and decorate the tree, cook treats, and get ready for the following night. They had spent that night together ever since any of them could remember.

Stockings were hung on tiny hooks from the massive fireplace mantel, homemade decorations and tinsel glowed in the bright lights of the enormous tree. On the week before Christmas every year Sugimi, Inuyasha's father, would take his son out into the woods and the two would find what they dubbed 'the perfect tree.' They would carefully cut down the tree, then drive it home in the father's truck to be set up in the room that all the pack slept together in on Christmas eve.

It took them hours, filled with playful ribbing and mock wrestling matches and when they finally stood back to admire their work, not a one could find fault with any of it.

It was as they were getting ready to head home for the night, that Kagome remembered her irritation with Inuyasha.

Inuyasha was carefully wrapping up the unneeded strings of lights, when a small hand landed on his shoulder. He spun around, and looked down to see the little priestess' face covered in a rather nasty scowl.

He couldn't help but wince in anticipation of what was to come...

"You didn't tell me."

Huh? The look on his face spelled out his confusion.

"About your brother," she elaborated.

Small, white ears pinned back against his short clipped hair. Kuso...

She seemed to weigh his look of remorse, before she relented. "Just don't do it again. You know how I hate last minute shopping."

He nodded as she passed, exhaling with a sigh of relief. 'She hadn't a clue.'

Kagome had just completed the finishing touches of her Christmas outfit, and was hunting for her shoes, when there was a nock on her door.

"Come in."

Souta poked his head through the door. "You almost ready?"

Kagome suddenly grinned, spotting her shoes. "All set!"

Her brother held the door for her as she left her room, closing it behind them.

It was seven in the evening, and dinner would begin a half hour after. The whether was unusually chilly, and the two huddled together for the short walk, laughing and singing carols.

The door to the Taisho mansion opened as the scurried up the walk, and Kikyo's beaming face welcomed them into the warmth of the home.

They had just finished setting the table, when Inuyasha appeared. "Hey, can you go get my brother? We're almost ready to sit down."

For some reason, Sesshomaru had always liked Kagome better than even his own family and so Kagome thought nothing of his request.

Now, Inuyasha had not actually seen his brother arrive, only gotten a call over the intercom when he'd opened the front door this afternoon.

For a moment, he'd not recognized the voice, and had panicked. But it was only fractions of a second and then he had yelled at his brother for startling him, something the elder inu had laughed at.

Kagome moved down the little trafficked hallway, unused since the demon's departure for England and the university he attended.

She stopped before a massive, shadow blanketed door and knocked lightly.

No answer.

She tried again, a bit harder, but when there was still no answer she slowly eased it open and stepped inside.

The room was just as she had remembered it.

One wall was taken up entirely in floor to ceiling bookcases. Years ago, she could remember sitting in here as Sesshomaru read to her when she couldn't sleep.

Another wall housed a vast collection of swords and other arms. As a child, she had just loved seeing him dance with those blades, watching raptly and envying the inu's grace. She remembered sitting out in the grass and begging him to continue and he obliging her with a small smile.

The massive bed in a corner of the room faced a rather large flat screen television that still boasted it's shining bow, a welcome home gift from his father.

A small sound in the corner of the room drew her attention.

It seemed to be coming from the door to his bathroom, and she slowly stepped in that direction.

Suddenly, the door swung open...and the most ungodly beautiful thing emerged.

She couldn't help the desperate inhalation of air, as it seemed the breath had forcibly evacuated her lungs.

Part of her brain insisted that she knew this male...but if she did, then he was vastly changed.

The tall slender frame had broadened, every inch ripped with muscle and flowing smoothly under pale flesh that shimmered in the moonlight from the windows.

The towel he held in his powerful hands was tossed over a shoulder and abandoned as he moved towards her, utterly and shamelessly nude.

The girl was frozen to the spot, as he advanced. And when he stood towering over her, his face finally came into view. His face and hollowed some, calling attention to the high slopes of his cheekbones, the small chin, hardening and losing it's rounded shape to the well sculpted angles. She absently noted that he'd cut his hair, an unusual though strangely attractive style that was clipped very short on the sides and back and left long on the top to graze the line of his jaw.

The mouth, however, was what did her in.

In the past, it had been small and thin. The wide, opulent contours it now bore would almost have been more appropriate on a woman, but for the distinctly masculine curve of his smile.

Golden eyes watched her from under lashes that any woman in their right mind would have killed for.

He bent, as if scenting her, before he nipped her earlobe with his fangs. "I hadn't expected such a welcome, little one."

His voice could only best be described as a chocolate orgasm. Smooth, rich, and utterly delicious. He very likely could get a girl off with that voice alone, Kagome thought.

She suddenly sobered. She was standing inches from Inuyasha's older brother, who was naked as the day he was born!

Her sudden squeak and hasty departure was followed by the amused laughter of the demon, inducing a full body blush from the fleeing girl.

His head tilted to the side as he watched her go.

She always did have the most delightful backside, he decided with a grin.

Maybe it was time he acquaint himself with it...