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Call of the Sleeping Heart by ShadowsWeaver1

Call of the Sleeping Heart

Call of the Sleeping Heart

Pulled.

Forward must I go.

Towards what awaits,

But what shall I find?

Nothingness surrounds me;

An endless black; devoid of all light, shape, and sound.

No thought lies here, no will; only the pull.

And so I move forward because I must,

Because there is no other way.

I have been called, but who is it that seeks me?

No thought, no sound; only the call, only the purpose.

I must move forward.

One step and then another, slowly I draw near.

The call sounds out.

It is need, it is desire; it is lost as I am.

And so I move, towards what awaits.

I must go forward, I must heed the call.

I must.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Kagome!"

Inuyasha, he was there beside me, shaking me from the dream, breaking me away from the call. He looked at me with eyes of worry, with fear, with confusion; but what can I say? The call had come again, come again to steal away my dreams until there is only that which I must follow. And again I had heeded the call; again I had moved my body without ever knowing. Again my spirit had pulled me towards that haunting call.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha," I said to him trying to ease his concerns. "Was I sleepwalking again?"

"Keh," he huffed as he finally released his hold on my shoulders. "Of course you were! That makes it every day this week Kagome! Who ever heard of someone walking in their sleep with nowhere to go?"

I hadn't told him of the call. I couldn't, for what would I say? He would immediately think it was a trick, a diversion, something thought up by one of our enemies to draw me away from him; but I knew it could not be that. The call that had sounded out to me for the past week was one of pain. From where and by whom I did not know; but I knew that the call was meant only for me.

Every time Inuyasha had pulled me away from the sleep where my body would answer to the call without my knowledge, there would be no lingering traces of where the call had come from, no path for me to follow, no way to know how to find the one that called me.

At first I had been afraid. I had believed that my sleepwalking would place me in terrible danger. But as the days wore on, the call became stronger, pulling me with more need, filling me with more understanding. They were alone, they were in pain; they called to me because only I could take that away. And so I answered, moving my body without my mind; being led by only the call and my spirit which willingly followed.

"Inuyasha," I began hesitantly in a soft voice, "I think that it would be best if I went home for a while."

"What are you taking about Kagome?" He was confused, and strangely speaking to me without anger at my wish to go back to my home.

"I think that, maybe, I've been gone for too long. I think that my walking has something to do with what I have left behind. My unconscious is trying to tell me something, Inuyasha. I need to try and find out what that is. Until I can find the answer to that, I am putting myself and you all in danger."

"Please," I added when it looked as though he would protest. He sighed and looked deeply into my eyes; searching for something I would never know to look for.

"Alright," he finally relented, "I'll take you home, but you have to promise me you will come back in three days."

I smiled at him; a gesture of thanks and of understanding. He was worried about me too. He wanted to know what was happening to me as well. But this was something I could not share with him. This was something I needed to do on my own.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Night had fallen on the following day. The stars overhead blinked in their merry way and the moon bathed the world below with a calming glow. On the breeze, gentle but chilled, the soft sounds of the night soothed me and gave me comfort.

I wrapped my heavy sweater tightly around my shoulders and nestled into my sleeping bag to prepare for sleep. Inuyasha had returned me to my home, but as night fell, I had come back. I needed to find the answer to the question of the call, and it was only here that I could do that. I leaned back against the aged wood of the well and lifted my eyes to the sky. I was looking for guidance; I was looking for an answer that I knew could not be found within the vast reaches of the nighttime sky.

Soon my eyes grew heavy with sleep, pulling away my resolve to stay awake; to stay alert. Sleep claimed me without contest, dropping me deep into the world of dreams.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

No thought, no voice, no sound.

Only the darkness and the whispered call.

Pulling me from within

Directing me to go when there is nowhere

And nothingness surrounds me.

Pain and sorrow; suffering and loss;

It calls out to me.

I must heed the call.

I must move forward.

One step and then another.

Always must I move forward.

There is no other way.

Onwards into the black, forward towards the call;

To ease their suffering, to calm their soul, to end their pain;

I move forward.

I must.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The sudden jerking ripped me away from the call. I looked down at the rope I had tied around my waist and sighed. This was not a good way to be woken up. Unfortunately, this was the only way I could think of that would allow me to follow the direction of the call and still be awake enough to not get killed in the process.

I took a moment to check the direction I had been headed, and then took a look up at the stars to get my bearings. Once satisfied I knew my direction, I untied the rope, went back to gather my supplies and my weapon, and set off into the woods to follow the source of the call.

I walked for what seemed like hours. Slipping past tangles of trees and weaving through thick bushes and around rushing river waters. Every now and then I would stop in a clearing to check the position of the stars and reset my course. But still I pressed on. I was determined to put an end to this mystery, and I was certain that I would find the answers I sought if I followed the direction given to me by my unconscious mind.

Back in the hopeless tangle of trees, I continued my search. I didn't know what I was looking for or even if I would recognize it once found, but I had to move on. The call still cried out in my heart; begging for me to come, to save whoever it was from their pain. I had to find them.

Suddenly I became aware of the presence of a youkai. The presence was not threatening, but it was incredibly strong. It filled the area with a tremendous pulse of power so thick that even without my miko abilities I could have felt the heaviness of the air as the power hung suspended around me. There was no movement in the surrounding trees, no sound. Every living thing had left this place be out of fear of what lay waiting.

But this was what I had come to see. I knew it with a certainty that I could not dispute. What lay beyond in the next clearing was what I had sought out. What lay beyond was the one who had called me here.

I stood still for a moment, weighing the possibilities of what was to come. I was gripped by the cold hands of fear, and yet, at the same time, filled with the warming breath of hope. Something waited for me beyond. Something that had called out to my soul, pulled on my heart, led me forward with no direction. Something needed me, and I would not back away now.

I took a step forward, and then another. I was moving, but I could barely feel my feet against the ground. My mind was filled with possibilities, with unanswered questions, with expectancy, and with anxiety; but I pressed onward because I needed to know.

The trees parted and I entered the clearing. A gentle mist wrapped around me, warm and comforting it soothed my nerves. But through the haze I could not see what lay ahead. Fear gripped me again, warning me that there may be danger, that this may be a trap; but I pushed it away, focusing on my need and on that of the other. I was determined, and not even my own fear would stop me now that I was so close.

My senses were alert and ready. I could hear the soft rippling of water against rocks, and I knew the sound came from the nearby spring which had given off all of the mist surrounding me. The trees rustled softly as the slight breezes of the night swayed their branches a brushed together their leaves. But there was another sound coming from out of the mist, a sound which made my skin tighten with shivers of unease.

A rumble so soft I could have missed it if I were not so alert; a steady rhythm, a constant pulse. Alive: I knew what it was I heard. Breathing, soft and peaceful, but rumbling through the air creating vibrations through the mist in its wake. The being I had sought out was here; and more than that it was huge.

The steady rhythm continued, almost soothing in its constant lull. I followed the sound. No longer afraid, but curious as to why the great creature would have called me, why the pulse of heavy youki surrounding me would bring comfort and not fear, why my miko powers were no being drawn forth to confront a treat of such power.

As I neared the water, the mist began to part. I could see ahead again through the lifting fog, and I made my way slowly; cautious of what may lie in wait.

Ahead, I could begin to see something apart from the swirling mists. It lay concealed in the fog, a massive form of white blending in so well with its surroundings. I made my way towards it; cautious, and yet strangely devoid of fear. As I approached I began to see more details of the great beast. The white I had seen was that of soft, clean fur which from so close seemed to gleam in the moonlight filtering through the mists. I could see the steady rise and fall of its side as it breathed in and out, and hear more clearly the soft rumbling of its breath.

It was so still, but not in an unnatural way. The creature I was looking upon was peaceful and serene in this place; it was sleeping.

Slowly and silently I made my way around the massive form. I could see a leg tucked and curled beneath the heavy frame, I could see the claws adorning the massive paw; sharp and deadly they glinted in the darkness.

My heart speed its rhythm in my chest: a pounding that could be felt through my whole body and which seemed to echo within my head. I realized what I was looking at. This youkai was not a simple beast, but rather an Inu, a dog.

My breath hitched at the realization. I had only ever met one true inuyoukai, and he was not one who would like for his privacy to be disturbed. But if it were he, would he not have awoken by now? Would he not have made me leave, or even given me the opportunity?

I waited silently for my breathing to steady and for the pounding of my heart to calm to a bearable pace. Nothing moved; there was no sound; there was only the steady rise and fall of the great beast's massive chest and the soft vibrating rumbles it released. Calm and peaceful surroundings soon settled my racing heart and tightened lungs. I began to move again.

Carefully I made my way around the great beast, slowly inching my way towards its head so that I could look upon its face. As I neared, the sound of its breathing grew louder, and I could feel the disturbance left in the heavy air with each release of breath. I was forced, yet again, to take a moment to steel my resolve before I could press forward again.

When I could finally see his face, I gasped. My body froze with fear of what was known, and that of which was not.

"Sesshomaru." I spoke his name in a whisper so soft it was like a prayer slipping from my lips.

He did not stir. He didn't even seem to be aware of my presence. But how could such a thing be? How could one with senses so keen not be aware that I was so near? He slept on: seemingly oblivious, seemingly uncaring.

Whatever resolve I had, it was slipping away from me faster than I could take hold of it. I knew this beast, I knew what he was capable of; and I knew that if he were to find me here, if he were to awaken to see me, I may not escape with my life.

I took a step backwards, away from the sleeping giant.

As soon as I had made the movement however, he stirred. A restless shift in his sleep accompanied by a small whining sound that even when coming from one as large as he I knew to be a whimper. It was my movement that had caused his reaction, I was sure of it. Slowly, as I looked upon him, my fear began to slip away again.

"Was it you that called me here?" I asked in an awed whisper. "Is it you that feels such pain?"

I had come to this place to follow a call of one in need. I had come because my heart and my soul told me that I must. I had come to ease away the suffering of the other. And as I looked upon him in his slumber, I knew that it was his call I had answered without ever knowing.

"Sesshomaru," I called as I stepped towards him again, "Would you have me to comfort you? Is this what you want?"

There was no answer, only the steady breath and the silence of the clearing broken by the low rumbling of his chest. I stepped forward again, close enough now to reach out and touch the soft, gleaming fur, close enough to feel the heat of his breath washing over me. I was not afraid anymore.

I knelt down next to him and touched my hand to the great paw on which his head rested, but still there was no movement, still there was no response. Beneath my fingers I could feel the softness of his immaculate pelt. The delicate wisps of fur slipped through my appreciative fingers as easily as water as I ran my hand across his paw.

I was smiling when I looked back at his face. But though I had hoped he would have awoken by my touch, still he slept on. For a moment I merely studied him. I traced the lines of crimson streaking across the white of his fur like fresh blood upon pristine white snow, and the contrasting soft blue hue of the crescent moon upon his brow. I had never seen him from so close before. I had never had the time to appreciate the beauty and the majesty of this incredible form.

For all his power and the image of ice he projects, seeing him here, now; I could see a creature at peace. I could see him without struggle, without anger, without pride. I could see him as he was, free of anything holding him back. He was incredible.

I pulled my hand away from where it had been stroking him with long and lazy strokes, but as I did so he shifted uneasily again and again released a whimper that told me that he wanted me to stay, that he needed me to.

I didn't know what to do. Even if it was Sesshomaru that had called me here, even if as he was he wanted me to stay; it was still his sleeping mind that wanted these things. If I stayed any longer I would risk being caught by his conscious mind, and I had no reason to believe that such an encounter would end well for me. But how could I leave him when every time I tried to move away he would whimper like someone who was lost? How could I walk away now when I had finally found the one calling out to me? How could I leave him alone to face such horrible pain?

I couldn't. Deep down, I knew that. Even if it meant him waking and finding me with him, I couldn't leave him when I knew that he had called to me. Even if it was an unconscious call, even if once he awoke he would be angry for what I had done; I could not leave him now.

I shifted my body to lie out on the ground, resting my head upon the soft fur of his paw. He instantly calmed again at my touch, and the steady tranquility of his breathing once again filled the air. I watched him for as long as I was able, taking in the sight that I never thought I would be able to see again. But it had been a long journey to find this place, and I was tired. Soon my eyes slipped shut of their own accord and I fell into dreams again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Warmth filled the darkness.

Calm was everywhere.

Still no thought nor will nor way,

But now no reason;

There needed be none.

I was filled with the warmth.

In darkness I was content.

No thought, no will, no way; only feeling.

Soothing and comforting,

Relaxed and still;

No need, no purpose, no doubt, no fear;

Only the darkness and its warmth,

Only the stillness and its tranquility,

Only feeling, only pleasure.

I am here.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I awoke to the calls of the morning. Birds on their perches high above called out to welcome the day. Happy and carefree, they greeted the morn.

But in the clearing by the spring, I was alone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: I have no idea if I will continue this or not. It was simply an idea put into words, fueled by inspiration. My mind works in mysterious ways sometimes, even I don't know why it does the things it does.

Insanity Lord: If you are reading this and have noticed, yes the inspiration I spoke of was your nightmare poem. Though, of course, I have added my own twist to the trappings of dreams, still I must have been moved enough by your message to be compelled to write something in such parallel. So thank you....I think. I'm not really sure if this is any good. I guess we shall see.

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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