The horror... of shopping by Arashi

The horror...of shopping

Title: The horror... of shopping...

Summary: 1) Women love shopping. 2) He hated it with a passion. Those were the rules. And the exception to the rule? Well, he was about to find out... One-shot, Sess/Kag

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Humor

Universe: AU (Alternate Universe)

Author's note: Just an idea that occurred to me. I just wrote it in two hours or something... But to be honest, this situation is partly from real life... anyway, enjoy reading!

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The horror... of shopping...

Hell.

That was the only word he could find to describe it. But actually, that was not quiet true.

Torture.

Yes, that fits quite well, he thought to himself.

A disaster.

Yes, that would do too...

Utter misery.

Ah, that one was... His train of thoughts stopped as his eyes spotted a pair of feet making their way towards him, and not just an ordinary pair.

Although his handsome face always seemed rather calm, with perhaps a tad bit of arrogance in it, he couldn't refrain from wrinkling his nose in disgust now.

God, must that woman be fat.

His eyes travelled upwards, their journey a quite painful one. Now he had nothing against fat people, in fact, he hated the term 'fat'.

But this was just too much.

The combination of too much body weight and clothes which resemble the size of a top model was not a good one.

The voice wasn't that great either.

"Oh my dear Valerie, we must go in here!" The woman screeched, pulling an equally horrid looking individual with her. "Oh just look at that nice shirt over there! Oh and these colours. And..."

He quickly focused on something else, quite eager to be rid of the woman's high pitched voice.

Women.

The damned species was the sole reason why he was in this place anyway. And where was he?

In a damn shop.

And not just any shop. Oh no. This was a shop full of brightly coloured clothing the same damned species could get all excited over. Like a couple of children would over a whole bunch of candy.

Pathetic.

Now his best friend, Miroku, would have the time of his life in here.

A damn shop... full of women.

Yeah, it might've been a good thing, actually, if he were here. The damn pervert would've been a good distraction to his already bored mind. A grope here... an angry shriek and a slap there... quite entertaining actually...

Instead, he found himself sitting on his usual spot. The shop consisted of two floors, packed with those damn clothes. And always when he was forced to come to this place, he would sit here.

On the damn stairs.

From his high placed 'throne' he could do the only thing he knew to pass the time; watching and observing people.

Every now and then he would encounter another victim; a husband, a son, a boyfriend, whatever. And it was always the same.

The short eye contact. Recognition. A rueful smile. A nod.

His fellow sufferers.

Of course, the majority of the human race you found in here would belong to one species.

Women.

He tried with all his might to keep his appearance of the calm faced, sophisticated, handsome boy. But actually, he was fuming and entertaining rather gruesome thoughts, promising revenge. Nothing of that however was shown on the outside.

He didn't show anything either as suddenly one of his tormenters, namely his stepmother, appeared out of nowhere and dumped a whole load of bags in his lap with a quick 'Just look after it darling, will you?' before she was off again.

It made him wonder what sinful things he had done in an earlier life.

Of course, his darling father and brother both were safely hiding somewhere else. He remembered clearly how it went this morning; it had happened so often now that revenge really was in order.

As his stepmother announced proudly at breakfast that she and her sister were going out for a *small* shopping tour, one could already discover panicked looks on the faces of the male part in the family. In fact, his father choked and almost drowned himself in his coffee. Similar things happened on the other end of the table with his dear halfbrother as he almost suffocated as he tried to swallow whatever he was eating down his throat.

He however, remained perfectly calm.

On the outside, one might add.

His father soon recovered from his little struggle, and was rather quick in exclaiming that he almost forgot about this really, life saving, a-lot-of-money-earning, important business appointment – note the sarcasm – with some highly respected fellow business partner.

His brother was soon to follow.

Apparently, he really had to get over to his friend's house because they had this really important, career deciding, you-need-a-good-grade-on-this-one assignment which was due on Monday and he was absolutely sure they would never make it unless they worked until midnight every day.

Since when had his brother ever heard of the term 'homework'?

Since when did he even know what a school was? Or what the inside looked like?

Very intriguing.

As if on cue, all the faces turned towards him. You might ask why his stepmother couldn't go alone with her dear sister? Well of course they need a so called 'strong, handsome male' to carry their precious, recently obtained toys around, and if that same male would drive them anywhere it would be most perfect.

And out of his whole family, he was the one not to come up with an excuse. He was always honest. Lying and making up excuses was definitely below him.

Even though it had some negative side effects when you refrained from using them...

And that was how he soon found himself being hugged to death by his stepmother while she was happily exclaiming 'what a wonderful son – stepson he added mentally – he was and how much fun they would have'. And as he remained stiff as a board in her embrace he already knew that his day was ruined.

Secretly, deep down, he hoped that Miroku with all his charm and grace would come bursting in and drag him along to something as equally important as his father and brother's business... but no, there was no Miroku to be seen.

He would've probably been way too eager to join them anyway.

A shop... full women... that was way too much temptation for the young man.

And that was how he found himself sitting on this usual spot again. And he knew it could take awhile, since this was his stepmother favourite shop.

Rule number one: Women simply love shopping. It is something they crave for. And when they have a favourite shop... beware! It could take hours before they were finished...

And while we're at it; Rule number two: He absolutely hated shopping... as has been sufficiently proofed already...

What he didn't know, however, was how he would later look back at this particular shopping trip with a rather fond memory...

Another whole round of minutes passed, and he found himself studying the people inside the shop again. Some stayed for only a little while, others were more like his family as it seemed that they would even consider being buried in here... forever united with their favourite pastime. He had to chuckle a bit at his own thoughts.

He was distracted by a particular woman who looked absolutely horrifying to him so that he didn't notice a grand total of three women approaching the stairs, followed by a girl who was literally buried under a heavy load of bags. He didn't noticed how they began to ascend those very same stairs, even though the girl begged to be left behind because her load was so heavy, as he just couldn't take his eyes of that very same woman.

He really wondered how one could get so many layers of make up on just one face.

The three women hurried right past them, and if he had seen them, he would've pointed out how their eyes began to get a disturbing gleam to them while they were transfixed upon the new found treasures spread out before them.

He had even come so far as to compare this whole thing to a horror movie.

With the one difference that he liked horror movies... and he obviously didn't like this.

As he was finally satisfied with his investigation of one rare case of the woman species and prepared to move on the next one in order to pass the time, a sudden loud and panicked yell made him look up in alarm.

Just in time to see someone – obviously a woman though – buried under such a load of bags it was just painful to one's eye falling down... and falling... and falling...

... right into his lap.

Some of the bags that were previously tightly clutched in her hands were now released and started their fall down the stairs as gravity took its toll on them. The woman first went to make quite a show out of it by flaying her arms around, totally panicked and probably afraid she would roll down the stairs and break her neck.

With a sigh, he resigned to his fate and catched her arms before she could knock him out and send both of them flying down the stairs. He made sure not the maintain a too painful grip – after all, although she just made his day worse, and the fact that she was a woman, it was not really her who had dragged him to this place – and to his relief, she started to calm down somewhat after he had assured her that 'everything would be alright and that she was not falling down the stairs and that he had her'.

How corny.

How mushy.

How much unlike his usual self.

Now that she wasn't moving around like a mad woman, he noticed she was around his age and that she had black hair. He couldn't see her eyes though as she still had them firmly shut, probably from the near fall she made. After awhile, she seemed to calm down, and he noticed how she went stiff as a board. He released his hold on her wrists, after all he knew this sign to be a negative respond to being hold... he himself showed it all too much.

And while he was hoping she would just get off of him, go and collect her bags and go on with what was without a doubt the very essence of her being, she did something that outright shocked him.

Not only did she manage to utter a few very strong words which were really surprising coming from such a petite young woman, she also managed to shock him in another way... namely, with what exactly she said.

"Goddammit! Shit!" she grunted out, her eyes still closed. "I'm really not falling, am I?" Being a man of few words, he nodded, before he mentally slapped himself... of course she couldn't see it. But she didn't need to apparently, because she already rambled on. "It's just this damn day! I knew it was going to be horrible. It's those damn shops, and those damn bags! Fuck this!" she shouted, and suddenly she opened her eyes and while still half sitting/half laying in his lap, she kicked one of the bags that remained upstairs, downstairs... and what an aim she had.

For awhile she watched how that bag tumbled down with a – he imagined for he couldn't see her face – a grim but at the same time content expression.

And with a final huff, she turned around.

It was rather a weird situation really. People everywhere were looking at them, and he secretly thanked dear god on his knees that his brother was not present. He really had this knack for blackmailing and it was not welcome at all. Especially now.

But what was even weirder... or rather, awkward, was that as the girl turned her head, their noses where almost touching and he was staring in rather beautiful blue/grey eyes. A very strange colour for people around here, but then again, his appearance was rather uncommon too.

The girl seemed to note this too as she stared openly at his silver hair and golden eyes. Very uncommon, really. But it ran in the family, so... yeah.

The girl gulped once before she offered a weak 'hi'. Inwardly he snorted at her pathetic behaviour, but actually it was rather amusing. The corner of his lips lifted somewhat upward, and soon he would wish he would've let that stoic mask intact. For as soon as she saw he was amused at her expanse, the girl huffed and hit him playfully on his arm.

"It's not funny really," she scolded him. "It's only making my day worse than it already was."

And he didn't know what it was, but he just had this feeling that there was something... different ... about this girl.

He decided to inquire a bit more after her, but first, there were a few very *precious* bags to be saved as the girl reminded him so kindly of by suddenly almost throwing herself out of his lap and down the stairs where she began to franticly gather the long lost bags. With a sigh he looked around the place and noticed that most women were already 'back to business'. A few of his fellow sufferers remained staring though, but no one offered to help.

Apparently they knew better than to come near another one of those women.

Although he had this feeling that this girl might be a tad bit different.

As he resigned himself to his fate again – boy did he do that often these days – he slowly went down the stairs and knelt down to help the girl.

His brother would definitely love to use this for blackmail.

Blue eyes looked surprised at him for a moment, before she gave him a brilliant and cheerful smile. Together, they made quick work of gathering everything, which really was a lot one might add.

"Mom is sooo gonna kill me," the girl muttered. At his sympathetic look, she offered him a small smile. "I know there is this dress somewhere in these bags that she really liked. And I think I shattered this new vase she bought... Don't get me wrong, I thought the thing was awful, but she really liked it so much..."

It seemed that this girl truly was an enigma. She seemed to be – from what he observed – caring and at the same time rather honest and blunt... just like him actually, he mused.

After awhile, he observed how the girl stared at the now gathered bags, hands on her side, with something which resemble a very disturbing glare. Then she suddenly went up to a woman who apparently worked at the place and with a very polite and disturbingly odd smile asked her if those very same bags could just stay there for awhile? At the positive nod from the woman, she wasted no time in turning around and joining him again.

She sure could change emotions with the speed of light.

The next moment, she was smiling with a real honest smile. He decided he liked her smile, somehow. She extended her hand towards him and introduced herself. "My name is Kagome Higurashi. I'm so sorry for... well... falling on you like that." Her face flushed somewhat.

He found himself shaking her hand and offering her his name too. Odd. Since when did he ever care? To his own surprise he even found himself telling her it didn't matter at all since everyone had a little embarrassing moment once in awhile. It did seem to comfort her somewhat though.

With a nonchalant gesture he pointed upwards, to the stairs. "Shall we sit down for a moment? That is, unless you want to go shopping."

She seemed to notice the sarcasm in his voice as she suddenly began to laugh. "I assure you I have no intention whatsoever to go shopping," the same bitter sweet tone had entered her voice. "To tell you more; I hate it."

His eyes widened. "Impossible," he noted as one single eye brow rose.

"Impossible you say?" the dark haired beauty huffed. "Well let me tell you mister that I was dragged out of my bed this morning by my darling mother to go shopping with her friends, even though I was quite enjoying my sleep. Ever since then, I've been dragging around numerous bags and suffering through... through this!" She took a glance at the stairs, a frown appearing on her face. "They didn't even see I almost broke my neck up there... no they were already off admiring those damn clothes. Women."

Finally, as she had finished her little rant, she looked at him again... only to find him staring at her with curiosity. "You mean to tell me that you, a woman – unless I'm not getting anything here – don't like it to shop?"

"Yep, that's exactly what I'm telling you!" she beamed at him, apparently glad she got the message across.

Wow, was this a discovery.

As they slowly went up the stairs, he kept sneaking glances at the strange girl walking beside him. She really, really was an enigma, he decided.

As they reached the stop stairs, he plopped down on his usual place. As he noticed Kagome still standing, he gave her a questioning look.

She sat down, slowly, but she spoke all the while and her words surprised him again. "You know this is probably quite a coincidence, but I always sit here when they drag me to this place," she pointed out.

"Really?" he cocked his head. "I always sit here too."

A silence fell, but it was not an uncomfortable one. Sesshoumaru watched with some sympathy how a small boy, who could be no older than 3 years or so, was dragged along, right into the shop. Ah... how very troublesome his life would be.

"So," Kagome's bright voice interrupted his thoughts. "Who exactly dragged you into this hell hole? Your mother?"

"My stepmother," he automatically corrected. "And her sister. Naturally, my father and my little half-brother are both too much a coward to face this, so they made up their usual excuses."

"I know what you mean," he had to resist laughing again at the unnatural growl that left her throat. "My dear brother Souta is the same type... as is my grandfather. I really can't get myself to say 'no' to my mother though... her life has been hard enough. But I don't like it at all, all this shopping."

"You do realize you are the first woman that I met who doesn't love it?" he asked amused.

"Oh I'll believe you on that one. I've encountered nothing but those shopping-crazed women too... unless I look into the mirror that is."

And again, he had this urge to laugh. Who was this girl? Then, suddenly, she jumped and latched herself onto his arm. Normally his whole body would've gone stiff, but oddly enough, he let her be. He even felt... relaxed... if that was possible.

She leaned a bit to his side as she whispered to him. "Oh my god, just look at her!" She tried to point towards a woman without drawing to much attention. Being an expert for observing people, he soon knew who she meant.

"I didn't know prostitute's shopped here," he remarked dryly. Next to him, his new found companion snickered.

"I would die if I had to walk around in that," she snorted. "Waite a minute, does she even wear anything? Mmm."

She laughed again in her own special way, and this time, a small grin was seen on his face. She seemed to notice as she winked at him. "You know this makes it so much more fun when you're not alone? I bet you do this everytime you're here, isn't it? I do it too... but sometimes I smuggle a book inside, that's pretty effective too."

He turned to look at her. "You like to read?" It really amazed him how this girl seemed to resemble him in some way... although not entirely, hell would freeze over before he would have such rapid changes in his behaviour.

"I love it," she all but squealed.

"Then you could probably spend hours inside a library... or... a book shop," he noted with an evil grin, which she seemed to miss somehow.

"Oh yes," she nodded enthusiastically. "I could buy the whole place empty!" Suddenly she saw the evil expression on his face and he found it to be really cute how she looked rather confused at him.

"I just proved that I am right. All women love shopping."

It was really as if suddenly a light bulb was burning above her head as she finally got his point. She pointed her finger at him, pricking him in his chest. "You jerk!," she huffed. "It's not the damn shopping I like, it's the books! And I hate every other shop! Except maybe a cd store...," she trailed off.

He caught her offending hand and gave her a look that clearly stated 'I-am-always-right'. "But you do love to be in a book or cd store... and that means you are shopping... and you enjoy it...," the corner of his mouth seemed to lift again. "But don't worry; I'll still treat you with a special status..."

"And that is...?" she asked while staring into his golden eyes.

He stared right back, now knowing he had found a new friend... perhaps more than that. "You'll always be the only woman who absolutely, with her entire being hates the concept of shopping."

She giggled, before she squealed again, now pointing out how a rather small man was practically dragged inside the shop by a very tall woman. The contrast really was intriguing. But before long, they had already found another interesting human species.

'Yes,' he thought to himself. 'I've found an exception to the rule...'

Fin

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