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He Wants Her

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He walked towards the lake and smiled. It hurt…deep inside he knew she was happier there with some else. Who could ever love him? He was disgusting. He never thought so before but now? He had wanted nothing but her smile and even that was gone. He would always remember her but would she even think about him…did she even care? He felt so hollow but only her love could fill the void that was growing in his heart…but where was she when he needed her. For someone else she was there. She was there for everyone. She was there for all her friends and for that stupid hayou. Even for Rin, but was she there for him? No…she wasn’t. He wanted her. He wanted her so badly but he couldn’t have her. He wanted her…but she didn’t want him.

He laughed to himself wondering when he started to think like this. The TaiYokai of the Western lands was thinking that he was unworthy for a human miko! A beautiful, kind...perfect woman miko...he had to stop thinking like that. But no matter how hard he tried he failed to think himself to be her equal in any way. He turned and looked at his daughter Rin and her son Shippo. Playing, running, and picking various weeds in an open field. Her beautiful blue eyes watching them as her laughter rang like crystal bells through the forest. She was happy and he couldn't help but be happy with her. He mentally sighed as he again saw a tornado in the distance. Koga, one of Kagome's many suiters, was coming yet again. Every time the wolf prince came it was harder and harder to let him leave alive. The only thing that kept his inner yokai in check was Kagome's reponse, a firm but kind no. If he ever heard anything else but no pass her lips at the wolf's offer he would die.

But it wasn't like the wolf was her only suiter. No, she had two others that didn't deserve her. One was a human boy that lived in the future where Kagome grew up. And the other was Inuyasha. He growled at the very thought of Kagome and Inuyasha mating. He would die before his half-brother laid a hand on her. He sighed as the little voice in the back of his head told him once again that Kagome wasn't his and probably never would be. Just as those horrible, yet most likely true thoughts passed through his head he saw Koga run up to Kagome and embrace her. He growled again and his eyes bled red though he tried with all his might to stay calm. He should have been used to this but he never could get used to seeing her in that wolf's arms.

View Change: Sesshoumaru

I cannot help it. Before I met her I always got what I wanted, when I wanted, and no one said or did otherwise. But...the day I met her was the day I began to lose. First the Tetsusaiga, then my arm, and over and over again I lost just because she was on his side...by his side. Her power and love made him stronger then I'll ever be without her. Now, everyone has the one thing I want. I deserve it I guess. Years of getting what I wanted and now the one thing I feel like I could live one more day without is just out of my grasp. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I turned away not wanting anyone to see my tears but I knew that deep inside I wanted her to know. To see how much she broke my heart. I want her to know that deep beneath the frozen outer shell lies a heart that beats with passion and devotion to one person. To her. I want her to see that the only person I will ever want to be with is her. To bad she will never see that.

"I love you, Kagome...I always have and always will." I whispered as I gazed back at her. She was frowning and the wolf was gone. She seemed hurt, I wiped away my tears quickly and walked over to her. I love her, I won't let her get hurt. I love her, I need her, I want her...but she doesn't want me.

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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