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Fumbling Towards Ecstacy by flowers

Chap 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I profit.

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Fumbling Towards Ecstacy...

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"What kind of scale,

Compares the weight of two beauties,

The gravity of duties,

Or the groundspeed of joy,

Tell me what kind of gage,

Can quantify elation,

What kind of equation,

Could I possilby employ?"

- Ani Difranco, School Night

Chapter One

She paused in the entranceway of the university auditorium, checking her books to make sure everything was in order. She laid her hand on the author's name of her history book and suppressed her emotion.

She had walked out without looking back but everything reminded her. Everything took her back to an intense, dangerous, and passionate summer that she not only couldn't forget but had shaped her, made her strong, and influenced her decision.

She made her weary way to a midsection row and took a seat, allowing room for students to keep filtering in. There was an unsettled cloud of intense whispers, wondering what the problem could be she looked up from her books and notes to meet a set of eyes that sent chills down her spine, of both relief and rage.

He observed her from across the hustle and bustle. She was trying hard to avoid his eyes and a sheer look of disdain creased her wholesome face. She was more than radiant to him now. She was irresistible. The mere thought of his chosen life partner, the one for whom he'd put both himself and her through hell then back, defying him in such a blatant way. His eyes flashed as he gave an extremely cool and dangerous smile.

This gesture caught Kagome's eye and she drew a sharp breath. She could feel his power prickle over her senses. He was angry, he was hurt, but he had to learn. No more than eight days since she'd walked out on him and here he stood. She felt her own rage swell to meet his.

"Seats if you please," his clear baritone rocked the din without even a microphone and after a rushed movement the auditorium was silent. "Very well, today is the beginning of a new era for your small minds, I am Sensei Seiitsu, the instrument of knowledge I hope you all will utilize to your benefit," he glowered over an audience of gape-mouthed girls and shrinking boys. "The choice of knowledge is your own, I would be tempted to hammer my texts into your skulls but the decision, sadly, isn't my own."

Kagome nearly fell out of her seat. This couldn't be happening.

"Oh my my, I can think of an instrument I wouldn't mind hammering..." whispered a round-faced blonde exchange student two rows up from Kagome. From the looks of most the girls seated in her vicinity, the thought must have been shared, such an ethereal figure of cold beauty, standing leisurely in his white dress shirt and dark pants. Picturesque like that first night she'd seen him, at least on this side of the well.

"Where did he come from?"

"And here I thought college was going to be dull,"

"Well, history is now my favorite class,"

On and on the whispers continued, quite to the chagrin of Kagome. Sesshoumaru, of course, could hear every word and stood with slighted eyes. In a quick motion he spun around and flipped on a slide projector, very old-fashioned and a few students muffled laughter. Kagome braced herself but he strangely seemed unaffected.

"Now, someone take care of the lights," he barked as he turned his back on the class. A torrent of frenzied girls and a couple boys sprinted for the lights and soon enough a hundred students were sitting in interrupted darkness. "And so begins the learning," he announced in a bored tone Kagome knew he used under stress. He began to produce slide after slide of landmarks across Japan he had photographed himself.

At the end of the slide show he walked briskly to the light switch himself and flicked it on harshly. Fluorescence shuttered and came to life, revealing a half enraptured, half dazed student body, eyes bent on the dynamic presence of him.

"I will only say this one time. Notes must be extensive and readable, I will be looking over them, tests will be few but lengthy, have faith I will not give warning," he paused briefly to run an annoyed hand across the top of his silver head, careful not to pull even one hair from the tie holding it in place. There was much grinning, coughing, and leg crossing afterward. "Questions will only be heard if intelligible, if not you will be embarrassed."

"Great, another hard-ass," a cocky young man sighed a few rows back from Kagome. Sesshoumaru paused and she nearly swallowed her tongue.

"I will promise you, ingrate, that you will fully know the meaning of your words come the end of this semester," he said coolly, to the surprise of the entire class his words were quite audible and the cocky young man sank into his chair.

"How did he hear that?"

"Silence," Sesshoumaru barked and silence ensued. "I will also be taking applications for an assistant, students must have a major of history to apply, details posted on the door. You are free to go," he finished and made his way back to the podium.

Kagome sat stock still as the students stood and made their way to the doors in back. Sesshoumaru locked eyes with her and they sat staring hard until the last student had left the room.

"I can't ask why you're here, I think I know," Kagome whispered. In a flash Sesshoumaru was bending over the row in front of her to nearly touch her nose with his own. Suddenly he didn't know if he wanted to wrap his hands around her throat or his lips around hers, craving so desperately the mated closeness of a human kiss.

"My house is empty," he stated, anger broken down by the biting reality of her departure. Behind her hardened mask he could feel the heat of tears swelling.

"I have a life, I have to live it," she answered. Rage and longing twisted his face as he brought a shaking fist to her cheek, then unfolded his palm to rest it against glorious skin.

"I had a life," he said so faintly she could barely make it out. A silent tear fell from her swollen eyes.

"I can't give up my dreams Sesshoumaru..." she choked.

"Do not use my name, girl, you have no right, anymore," he whispered. "I dreamed only of you, now look at..." he paused to bow his head.

"Look at me, ridiculous. I should have forgotten my brother and forgotten you," he breathed. She let loose a string of tears, he didn't mean his words. She had done this to him, but for good reason. She placed her hand over his. He reversed his grip quickly and slammed her into his arms, holding her so tightly she couldn't pull breath. He loosened his grip and deeply inhaled the long lost scent of her. Eight days were like eight centuries.

"Uh... Sensei?" came a small voice from the auditorium door. He released Kagome and turned harsh eyes onto a mousy girl, standing with her glasses askew and mouth open. Kagome was flush with embarrassment and a few other emotions as she hid her face then sat back down in a quick motion. It was Ami, her new dorm mate. Kagome was a late enroller and the odd friend out so rooming with familiar people wasn't possible.

"What do you want?" Sesshoumaru barked and the girl dropped her armload of books in answer. She quickly bent down to gather them and pushed her glasses up along her nose.

"I... I'm sorry, I was looking for my roommate Kagome, you see, she has the only key to get in and I'm done for the day..."

"Don't worry Ami, I'll be right out okay?" Kagome said over her shoulder. Ami made a surprised face then it seemed like the truth hit her like an arrow. She blushed red then bowed politely making her way out the door. Sesshoumaru let out a short laugh then turned again to Kagome.

Gathering her own things she stood, training her eyes to the floor and found herself blocked by the most exquisite obstacle the fates could throw her way. Sometimes she thought herself crazy for the decisions she made but something deep inside told her it was best for all parties involved.

"You left me empty."

"I left you whole."

"I can not live my life like I once did anymore."

"And you shouldn't, now you have hope."

"I have nothing, not since seven days, twelve hours, and fourteen minutes ago."

She drew a long breath and stepped around him to the door, keeping her eyes straight ahead. Willing herself to step over the threshold, leaving him to his lessons in exchange for her own.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, what you're saying is sickness, and living like that is a slow death, even if you believe with everything in you that it's right."

With that she stepped into the busy hallway of her new collegiate life.

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A/N: Well, here I go again. I really don't know what I want to do with this sequel. I know I want to make it out-of-the-ordinary and good enough to read without the compliment of "Elsewhere". Be sure to give me feed-back. Believe it or not my readers give me the sparks that set these stories to light.

Thanks for reading,

flowers

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