Wow... This isn't even written like a story. It's like an outline...

I don't know where to begin. -facepalm- First, learn how to write a story, or warn people at the head of the fanfic that it's going to be in script form. Second of all... The grammar. Dear lord the grammar. All I can suggest is to start over by writing it like it's a normal story.

wow...whats going to happen next?.....plwase more chapters!!