You, my dear, have a long way to go.
No offense.
I must confess that I am quite candid, so do not be surprised if the content enclosed is brusque.
First off, I would like to point out that only one language is necessary. Make up your mind. Are you going to write in English, Spanish or Japanese? Honestly, woman. We aren't competing for the title of best bilingual. So some other chick used something that is used in the Spanish vocabulary. So what? Does that mean that you have to do it, too? The answer is simple: no. It doesn't.
While originality is appreciated, please keep it in the form of writings only, not languages.

I would also like to suggest you learn to blend scenes together, and observe the skills of description. Proper syntax, grammar and punctuation are as respected. My understanding is that if you don't understand the rules of the rites listed above, then don't even bother using them.
Don't use dividers quite so often, it is boring, and wears on people's eyes.

Character development is another thing I would like to point out.
Just because the characters have been formulated and you have watched however many episodes doesn't mean that you know the character, therefore, doesn't mean that you can play them. I do realize that you story is alternative universe and that the characters will be warped and distorted and overall different from that in the anime or manga, but please, please pick one personality and stick with it. Characters on constant PMS is overall annoying.

Description, description, description. I mentioned it earlier, in the above.
Yes, it is necessary, yes, it makes our lives easier. But honestly, do we need to go around and describe how a person looks, what their clothes are fashioned in and how their hair is decorated or put up? Half a paragraph can be covered doing just that: 'A leather ensemble made up her armour, if one could hardly call it that. The straps had seen many battles and lived to tell the tale, even if they were rather shabby.' Simple, yes? That was less than a paragraph, mind you.

Author's notes in the middle of the story are highly annoying. If you have something to say, wait until the chapter is done and put a small author's note there, or before you start, at the top.

Something that really bugs me about Kagome's leather outfit is that back then, approximately five hundred years in the past... do you think they would have polished leather that gleams under the sun, the decoration, and God forbid, the corset? Corsets were mainly used in Europe, namely England. Not Japan. Which is where the story takes place. In the traditional manga/anime. Kimonos were the rage. Not corsets. Hardly leather, seeing as they didn't have cows or deer. Tanned demon's skin could provide just as well as leather. Or, you know, a plain old breastplate. I do have to give you points, however, for coming up with a good explanation for why she wears it.

There are many more points that I wish to point out, but at the moment, they are irrelevant, and irrelevance annoys me.

Should you think me bitter or crass, I assure you, this is not a flame. Simply writer-to-writer critique.

Happy developing.

~ A Critique

*hands and knees* update please please pleasse please *sobs*

are you dead??? has thy muse left you??? WHY havent you updated I mean not to be an evil and ungreatful fan but that was a good story and you havent updated in like four ever

i cant wait for you to up date kylwyn

please please up date please
daughter of ryuukotsusei

its just getting good really really good

please please up date please
daughter of ryuukotsusei

its just getting good

please please up date please
daughter of ryuukotsusei

its just getting good

please please up date please

please please up date please

please please up date please

please please up date please

It's been a while since you updated. I hope you update soon and hope to read more chapters from you. They are the best

It's been a while since you updated. I hope you update soon and hope to read more chapters from you. They are the best

can't wait to see the fight. hope you update again soon.

can't wait to see the fight. hope you update again soon.

Hey that was a really cool idea with Kagome kissing the guy literally to death. Sesshoumaru and Kagome will meet again soon? I mean finally she has to go somewhen back to the Western Lands as she is Kikyo's servant right? But it would be of course great too if Sesshoumaru would come to the competition meeting her there... but maybe that would be to rush things a little or?
Ohh I can't wait how you will let the story continue.

awesome chapter!!! hurry and update real soon okay!!

cooollll
I'm so happy .As always great hope you get more reviews and chapters in !

liked it soo far like said but update soon pleaz
luck

Such a great story, I just read all the chapters and couldn't stop till I finished now with the last available one.
Please you have to update soon!!!
*sob* I need to read more!

great story, hope u update soon.

awesome!!! hurry and update soon!!!

I posted a review but i don;t know if it went through. ANYWAYS I absolutely LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it. I'm a reader till death do i part. LOL.

This took me forever to read, but you kno what it was so worth it. I LOVED it. WTG!!! ohh and if you still need to figure out how to use the italic, bold and underline things let me know and I'll tell you via mail. And also, just so you know I am now a faithful reader for this fic so you are going to finish it, okay? I'm relentless so you might as well just agree and save us any trouble. *smiles sweetly*

Man! That was a great story so far! Please update soon!

I hope you update soon. I love the story.

yeey you updated I'm so apy. I like the limbs flying everywhere. So cool! Hope you update son

GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You finally updated. this is one of my favorite stories. Love the story.

awwww!!!! PLZ update soon!!! XD

Great chapter thought the ooops.. sorry chapters were kinda disappointng thought they were real chapters. Still loved it and hope to read mroe soon

omg. you finally updated!!! I'm so happy. The chapters were great. I hopse to see the next one soon.

hey i read your other one at fanfiction.net.....it was so great too!! but why have you not written there anymore?....anyways it great to be continuing since i longed for a chapter of this story.... :)

Woo. I'd even forgotten about this story. Pity.
It's one of my favorites. Thank you for writing it (and continuing, too)! ^_^

Please message me when you update, I started reading this on fanfiction and it disappeared so i'm glad its on here.

That was a great chapter! But you have to update!!!!! You haven't updated in a looooooooonnnnngggg time! And do you think you chould write a longer chapter? Please????????

please up date the Daughter of Ryuukotsusei

cool episode. I wonder about the barrier thing and if kikyo is rippable. hope to red more soon!