Dokuga Forum
Welcome, Guest
Please Login or Register.    Lost Password?
Reviews that make you go Eh?
(1 viewing) 1 Guest
Go to bottom
TOPIC: Reviews that make you go Eh?
#52459
Miss Anna
Daiyoukai
Posts: 521
graphgraph
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Reviews that make you go Eh? 13 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 15
So I have been doing random Halloween events with my princesses all day and so have not been on here alot. I would like to address a comment that I got for a story of mine which left me scratching me head lol.


Does Sesshoumaru speak in first and third person, such as saying I AM YOUR ALPHA, wouldn't that be the correct usage of first person speech. If it is, then apparently the person says I am wrong in my thinking lol.

Or since it is generally writting from Sesshy's stand point, I was told to separate my convos.


Soooo have you ever had a comment make you say Eh? lol Including the whole brow arch lol

<Not sure if this goes here?>
 
Logged Logged
 
I am the Master of Italian Pastry in Dokugareers, my tool is the rolling pin of cannoli.

Miss Anna S has Claimed Hitomiko\'s Bells in the Dokuga Claim Game
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#52462
WiccanMethuselah
Admin
Posts: 2277
graphgraph
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:Reviews that make you go Eh? 13 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 277
I read that review and, knowing the reviewer, she would most likely answer your questions regarding the review. She's a terrific author and has written some UNGODLY good stuff for this fandom. I would PM her and ask what she meant by separating the convos and the first person usage, since it appeared to me that it wasn't the only instance of first person speech.

Honest, I'd ask her... I'm sure that neither comment was meant unkindly, but more with an idea to help you.

~~Wiccan~~
 
Logged Logged
 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinion.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"
- James Russell Lowell 1864


  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#52477
Miss Anna
Daiyoukai
Posts: 521
graphgraph
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:Reviews that make you go Eh? 13 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 15
Thanks for the suggestions Wiccan! I will pm her because I really want to work on editing some of my first stories ^_^. I had a brain fart when I made this thread and I hope I didn't step on anyones toes...I wasn't upset or anything like that just lack of sleep was making me brain run slow...which means I am turning in for bed now.
 
Logged Logged
 
I am the Master of Italian Pastry in Dokugareers, my tool is the rolling pin of cannoli.

Miss Anna S has Claimed Hitomiko\'s Bells in the Dokuga Claim Game
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#52478
WiccanMethuselah
Admin
Posts: 2277
graphgraph
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:Reviews that make you go Eh? 13 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 277
You are most welcome, m'dear!

Good night, sleep well, and don't worry, I seriously doubt that any toes are going to feel abused!!

~~Wiccan~~
 
Logged Logged
 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinion.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"
- James Russell Lowell 1864


  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#52479
knifethrower
Supporter
Posts: 887
graphgraph
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:Reviews that make you go Eh? 13 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 78
I looked at the reviews for your stories, and couldn't find the one you are referring to. But it's early in the am. Maybe the reviewer meant that she felt that Sesshomaru would have referred to himself as "This Sesshomaru" rather than "I".

I'm just guessing, but I think based on your post that the reviewer would have preferred "This Sesshomaru is your alpha" to "I am your alpha". My take on this in my own writing is that I try to use the way Sesshomaru refers to himself as an indicator of the level of regard he holds toward the being he is communicating with. So until he warms up to Kagome, he would refer to himself as "This Sesshomaru", and after he starts to view her as worthy, I would change the way he refers to himself to "I". I apply the same principle regarding the way Sesshomaru refers to others, as well. So until he forms a personal relationship with another character, I portray him as addressing that character as "human", or "fool", or something along those lines. A little more respect and familiarity, I would change that to "priestess", "slayer", etc. Only once a being became part of his group, would I portray him as addressing them by name. "Rin" or "Jaken", for example. Writing this way can be kind of nerve-wracking, however, and it's just my idea, not gospel truth...
 
Logged Logged
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
Go to top

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
No money is being made from the creation or viewing of content on this site, which is strictly for personal, non-commercial use, in accordance with the copyright.