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On Strike by Hairann

On Strike

Title: On Strike

Author: Hairann

Theme: "Crossover" Challenge by Walter205.

Genre: Humor

Rating: M

Warnings: Cuss words and not to be taken seriously.

Word Count: 1000 (not counting the AN and other stuff)

AN: I hadn't originally planned on doing this challenge since I had too much else on my plate at the moment, but I had just finished a scene from a 3-shot story I am working on and I felt so bad about the stuff I was putting her through and the idea for this one just popped into my head. None of things they talk about are directed at anyone's story and this is not meant as an insult.

"Welcome to 'Anime characters come to life'. Today we have two very special guests. First we have Kagome from Inuyasha and later in tonight's show we will be joined by Akane from Ranma ½. Everyone please welcome Kagome Higurashi!"

The crowd went wild as Kagome made her way from backstage and sat down in the beige seat next to the hostess's desk. "Thank you for joining us Kagome."

"I'm happy to be here." Kagome told her with a smile to the crowd.

"I've heard an interesting rumor about you lately. Is it true that you'll be going on strike from fan fiction?"

"Yes it is. I am tired of some of the stuff writers put me through in their stories and so I have decided to go on strike." Kagome replied, earning quite a few boos from the audience.

"Perhaps you can tell our viewers exactly what it is about these fan fics that you are having problems with." the hostess suggested after the crowd finally quieted down.

"Are you kidding? I've been paired with Naraku, Miroku and even some guys from other animes. I've been portrayed as a demon, a hanyou, an angel, and even some weird combinations of those. They've had me try to commit suicide, cut myself and a drunk.

"In some stories I yell 'sit' more than I say anything else, make the same mistakes over and over, am either a complete weakling or practically have super powers. And we're talking canon here. Don't even get me started on the AU stories. I mean really, how many times do I have to flirt with my boss and end up on my back after I was yelling at him? And why is it it's always Kikyou that Inuyasha leaves me for? Why can't it be Sango or even Kagura. At least that way it would be something new.

"And did you see what they are doing now? Some guy named Walter is having everyone turn me into a pirate! Talking about Shippo and Kanna pairings, as if things weren't bad enough to begin with. Now I've been in pirate stories before, but it was always pirates kidnapping me and what is up with me always getting kidnapped anyways? It's bad enough how often it was done in cannon but now I gotta deal with it in fan fics as well?" Kagome complained before finally taking a breath. Sighing, she jumped right back in...

"I've started singing out of no where in the middle of a field, been a vampire, kidnapped by a couple of those too, they've even had me re-shatter the jewel! Can you believe that? As if the first time wasn't bad enough." Kagome grumbled the last part with a huff.

"Well what about being paired with Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru and Kouga, I take it you don't have a problem with these since you have yet to mention them." the hostess pointed out.

"Are you kidding me? What woman in her right mind would have a problem with being paired with any of those guys? But oh my god, the lemons. Have you read some of these? Having them go at demonic speed, are people crazy? Just because they can go that speed doesn't mean my, very human, body can take it. And the things they have me yell when it's supposed to be my first time. Ha."

"You think you have it bad?" a voice from off stage called as the owner of said voice began making her way onto the stage.

"Everyone welcome Akane Tendo to the stage!" the hostess called out causing the crowd to explode in another round of cheers.

"I get kidnapped almost every story I am in, have to deal with three annoying woman always after my fiancé and of course they always have to be better than me. And if you think pairing you with Naraku is bad, I've been paired with Kuno. Sorry but I win for worst pairing. Let's not forget the fact that I never learn to cook, every original character they add in is better at martial arts than me, and any time I happen to be good at something, one of those twits just have to be better than me.

"And you think the number of times you 'sit' Inuyasha is bad? I swear my hammer is permanently embedded in Ranma's head. At least when they kill you off, you normally come back to life, I on the other hand stay dead. And 90% of my lines are 'Ranma!', I mean what is up with that anyways? I'm a martial artist people, I don't need to be screaming for some guy to come help me rather than trying to save myself.

"And you want to talk lemons? Not only have I been in scenes with Ranma's female form, not that that's really a problem I mean she is hot, but I'm been in lemons where he was in his cat form. What the hell is that about? Hell I've been in lemons with both of his other 'fiancés'. So if anyone has a right to go on strike it would be me."

"Well we could both go on strike." Kagome pointed out after a moment and watched as a huge grin spread across Akane's face.

"You know, that's the best offer I have had all night. Wanna get out of here?" Akane inquired as she stood from her seat.

"You bet. Sesshoumaru's supposed to be picking me up soon anyways so he can give us a lift. Feel like going for coffee?" Kagome wondered as she stood as well and the two of them began making their way off stage.

"Um..." the hostess said after a moment, wondering what they were going to do since the only two guests they had scheduled just left early. "Let's take a commercial break." the hostess decided in a pleading voice. Under her breath she mumbled, "And hopefully be able to find a guest before we come back."


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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