The Pain of Loss & Love by Miko Sayuri

The Painful Loss

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

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It was in the wee hours of the morning, that the horizon was different shades of orange streaking across the sky, clouds painted along the scene.

 

Birds were chirping their morning songs. A gentle breeze was passing through, as it caressed skin.

 

Kagome laid down in the clearing of the forest. Gazing up at the wonderful scenery before her.

 

She sat up, putting her weight on the palms of her hands.

 

It was Kagome's private get away, her father use to bring her often to the clearing. When she was younger he would tell her stories, and chase her around. In the end she would fall asleep in his arms, listening to the sound of his voice.

 

Oh, how she deeply missed her father. A void in her heart that yearned for her father's loving presence. Before she knew it, she felt an unbearable pain in her chest, tears freely flowed down her cheeks.

 

Kagome sobbed uncontrollably, bearing her face into the palms of her hands. Her body was trembling betweens the racking sobs that escaped her. It seemed like forever since she cried this way, for a man who she called father.

 

A image of her father smiling seeped through her mind. Remembering his smile filled Kagome with warmth and love. A warmth and love that only parents can bestow upon their children, feeling relief wash over her. Knowing that her father would not like to see her this way, he did not like it when she cried. Her father use to say he could not bear the sight of her tears. Finally, she got control of her emotions, and sat in peace for awhile more.

 

Pulled out of her thoughts as a familiar voice filled the clearing.

 

"Mamma, where are you?!" A boy yelled at the top of his lungs.

 

"I'm over here, sweetie"

 

A smile painted Kagome's face, as she looked up at him. Shippo was an orphaned kitsue, that she took in. Kagome loved him like he was her own son.

 

Kagome's tears that she shed before his arrival hit Shippo's senses. With his face full of worry and concern. He sat beside his mother in the clearing of the forest.

 

"What's wrong Mama?"

 

"I was thinking of my father today", in a voice that was still miles away.

 

Shippo felt the need to comfort his mother. He scooted closer to her, and gave her a hug, trying to comfort his mother, the only way he knows how. He pulled away from her to stare her in the eyes, and say.

 

"I'm sorry Mama", he said with apologetic look in his eyes.

 

As she inclined her head to the side to gaze into her son's eyes

.

"For what?"

 

'Mother must have been crying for while', he thought to himself.

 

"I wish I could take your pain away", he spoke aloud.

 

"Today is the anniversary of my father, your grandfathers; death", her voice heavy with hurt, and pain.

 

'Has it really been three years?  It feels as though he passed just the day before. They say that time heals all wounds. It's a bunch of bullshit. If it were ever true then I would roll over and drop dead. People and their stupid sayings,' she thought to herself.

 

Shippo watched in awe, as his mother went from pain and sorrow, than to anger in only a matter of minutes. With the sudden shift of her mood, the rise of her reiki made him wince. He hoped that he would not be at the receiving end of her anger. Kagome's reiki started to slightly burning Shippo's skin.

 

Kagome was pulled out of her musings, by the sound of a whimper from her son. Concerned and worried, she pulled her son close to her in a embrace.

 

"I'm so sorry Shippo. I didn't mean to hurt you."

 

"It's okay mama."

 

"No, it's not okay. I could have hurt you", her scolding tone vibrated through his ears.

 

As she held her son in her arms. Her mind suddenly wondered to her own mother, Miyu.

 

She began to feel very selfish, as enlightenment dawned on her.  

 

'My mother must be in more pain than me. And here I am drowning in my own self pity and sorrow. To lose a husband and a lover. How she manages to move on I'll never know.' She berated herself mentally for letting her mothers well being slip her mind.

 

Shippo sensed his mothers emotions change once more, to a new feeling of guilt. He wondered why his mother was feeling guilty. He tried to reassure her and that he was fine. Yes, her reiki burned his skin a little, but nothing he couldn't handle. Of course if she took her miko lessons seriously, they wouldn't have had this problem.

 

Kagome's out of control reiki, much like her emotions, would never tire out of being the amusing actions she displayed.

 

Suddenly a thought popped in his head. An idea that would surely get her out of her guilty emotions that she was displaying at the moment. He mentally patted himself on the back for his brilliant idea. Yes, it was a truly a good plan.

 

"Mother, let's go see Grandma."

 

He stood up and held a hand out to his mother. A smile tugging at his lips.

 

"Yes, let's go see her. I'm starving and dying for some tea, as well", she said in a happy voice.

 

"Mother, when aren't you starving", he said in a dramatic voice.

 

Shippo tittered as she sent him a playful glare. He began to mentally wonder for all the food she ate, would there come a time, when it would finally catch up to her.

 

No he concluded, his mother would always stay slender and beautiful, as she was now.

 

Kagome placed a hand in her son's as he pulled her up gently, as if she were fragile. She looped her arms with his, heading back to their home.

 

She glanced back at the clearing, a small smile graced her lips. Turning back to her son, she shot him a bright smile, and in return he shot her a toothy grin.

 

Slowly they disappeared into the tree line.

 

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Kikyo woke from her slumber. Sweat dripping down her face as she fought to keep her tears at bay.

 

She would not let anyone see her cry, not even til this day.

 

 The dream that had haunted her sleep, was one of her father's death.

 

Kikyo loved her father very much, and wished dearly that she had shown him, when he was alive.

 

How she regretted it with every fiber of her being, and the guilt that weighed heavy on her shoulders.

 

The pain in her chest that was constant everyday. No one knew of the pain she was in, for she managed to hide it well from her family. Kikyo wore a mask that only her father could read.

 

Kikyo's mind wander to last conversation she had with her father.

 

"Take a walk with me", a deep voice said

 

"Father, why do you require my presence?", Kikyo said concern lacing her voice.

 

"Have I done something wrong that would require my father's presence? He never asked me to walk with him except before when I was a child." Mentally preparing herself for the worst, she rose in a swift movement of grace.

 

"Can I not simply enjoy a walk with my eldest daughter?", He said raising an elegant brow.

 

Shocked Kikyo simply nodded, unable to form coherent words at the moment.

 

Her heart swelled in her chest, as she took in the words that had left his mouth.

 

Kikyo smiled softly at her father.

 

"You should smile more often, my daughter. You are most beautiful, when a smile graces your face"

 

"I do smile father."

 

A blush stained her cheeks, at the comment.

 

"You are far too young to be so serious all the time, young lady"

 

"I'm was taught to control my emotions during training. It took a long time through mediating, to get to the level, I'm presently at."

 

"You have blossomed into a beautiful young lady, Kikyo. I am very proud to have been a father to you. I haven't realized how much, you; my little girl have grown up. How time flies by, and here you are, a beautiful young lady"

 

"Thank you, father. I'm pleased that I've made you proud."

 

A smile once more graced Kikyo's face. She couldn't remember the last time her father praise her so.

 

"Now to make this old man more proud. You can give me grandchildren", her father spoke in a dreamy voice.

 

"Father, I'm not ready for children!", she said shock lacing her voice, hoping he wasnt serious.

 

"I know sweetheart but I can dream, can't I"

 

"Yes father, you can"

 

"I love you very much, my Kikyo. More than you know, dear daughter of mine."

 

"And I you father", her cheeks a bright pink blush.

 

'I love you father more than lead you to believe. If only the words would leave my lips. One day I'll have the voice to say it to you, dear father', she promised herself mentally.

 

They walk quietly enjoying each others company. Lost in their thoughts of memories of the past of when she was just a child. They walked the same path, as they did so long ago.

 

Kikyo pushed the memory to the back of her mind, as one lone tear slid down her cheek. Never would she forget her father. A man who loved her for who she truly was.

 

She tossed her covers aside, and slowly rose from her futon. She called for a servant to help dress for the day, but first she required a bath.

  

Then she would make her rounds to her mother, Jiji-sama, Kagome, Souta, and Shippo.

 

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Miyu was sipping at a cup of green tea. The cup placed gently in the palm of her hands. Taking in the beautiful sight of her gardens. The view was perfect from her sun room. Her beloved husband had designed it for her, as wedding gift.

 

The large room was decorated in earthy tones of browns and greens. The tapestries were a tan color. Paintings adored the walls of the beautiful painted landscapes. Flowers from their gardens placed in decorates vases. The furniture was made of oak with detailed carvings of leaves and vines placed along the edges.

 

She loved this room, more so than all the others. It held some of her most treasured memories.

 

Miyu's mind took to their wedding night.

 

"Miyu, come here."

 

He held out his arms to embrace her. Miyu slowly approached her new husband.

 

As he encircled his arms around her waist, she brought up her hands to wrap  around his neck.

 

"Yes, dear."

 

She looked straight into his eyes. Captured by his intense gaze.

 

"I have a surprise for you. It's my last wedding present to you."

 

"Sounds interesting.. What is it?"

 

She tried the best not to laugh, but failed miserably. Bursting into a fit of giggles. His expression was so serious, she couldn't help but laugh. It took a few moments to collect herself.

 

"I need you to close your eyes and let me guide you." He whispered in her ear, and placed a kiss on her forehead.

 

"It better be good surprise." Shaking her finger at him. Reluctantly she closed her eyes.

 

"I know you will love it."

 

As the words left his lips. Miyu felt a jolt of electricity shoot down her spine. Shuttering from his words alone. A warm feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Oh, how she desired this man.

 

"I hope this surprise don't take long. I need him so badly, it hurts."she thought to herself letting out a small sigh.

 

Miyu let him guide her through the halls of their home.

 

Her husband guided her, gently holding her hand and going at a steady pace,so she wouldn’t trip.

 

It seem like an eternity had passed. Finally she heard the door slide open. She felt herself being guided to the center of the mysterious room.

 

She gasped in awe, at the view of the room. Her breath caught in her throat, as she realized the view of the garden. The moonlight shined brightly through the glass sliding doors, and the room was so beautifully decorated.

She couldn't take her eyes off the room, she just couldn't believe her own eyes. The room was truly a masterpiece.

 

"It's so beautiful."

 

"Do you like it?"

 

"Oh, I love it!"

 

He gently grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her back into his chest. He leaned into her, and his lips barely brushing the outside of her ear.

 

"I want to make love, right here and now."

 

Her cheeks were stained with dark red blush, and she stammered for words. She couldn't believe he wanted their first night together in this room. In all honesty she was extremely embarrassed, and didn't know what to say to his request.

 

"Wha... what if someone sees us?"

 

Then he turned her around. So, she could catch his intense gaze. Both of theirs eyes were glazed over with lust and desire. He pulled her close to his chest, and felt the heat radiate off their bodies. His lips came crashing down on hers, and their tongues danced for dominance.

 

Quickly she submitted to him, and he let out a throaty moan is response. He pulled away from their kiss for much needed air, and looked at her swollen pink full lips.

 

Opening her eyes slowly. She locked eyes with her lover. Mind clouded over with desire. She was already dripping wet,  just from a kiss.

 

He guided Miyu to the floor, and gently placed her down. Where he was hovering above her, and said.

 

"No one will see us. I want to see your body in the moonlight. To see your expressions, as I take you as mine. I need to hear you scream my name, as I pound into you mercilessly. To feel your body tremble beneath me, as you release throughout the night." He let out a moan. His cock painfully hard and throbbing with need. He needed buried himself inside her waiting heat.

 

"Take me", she breathed out, in a seductive voice.

 

He captured her lips once more. A kiss full of passion they never felt before. He stripped the kimono off her body, worshipping every inch of her. He pounded mercilessly into her tight sheath. A night that would never be forgotten between the two lovers.

 

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Author's Note

This is my first fanfiction story. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. I wanted to give special thanks to my two beta's Sweet×Sorrow and Supermangageek23. Especially Supermangageek23 she helped alot with all editing. They have helped this story come to light, without them it wouldn't be possible. Send your love to them. Thank you! Please review I would love to see my readers responses :-)

 

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