Cupid Scuffle by LM Bluejay

Zane

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha (C) Rumiko Takahashi

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“Just poke her already will yah?” the purple headed kid behind him huffed.

Little Sesshomaru held his breath as the rod in his grasp continued to shake. “But what if she wakes,” he quietly whined. The woman at his feet was dead to the world snoring.

“Guess you better not poke too hard then,” the other boy laughed with his hands behind his head. “Listen, Meowmaru…”

“Sesshomaru.”

“Whatever. Time’s a ticking and I’m growing bored here. Stop being such a pussy hound, yo. You’re giving us real cats a bad name.”

Sesshomaru hissed. “I don’t see you doing this!”

“That’s ‘cause unlike you I’ve got nothing to prove. I already know that I’m hella brave. You’re the one who’s in question here.”

The small dog demon began to sob. “But why does it have to be someone like her?” A random snort nearly made him jump. “What if the stories they told us are true? What if she eats me?”

“Is that so bad? My brother says our dad ate my mom all the time. That’s why she was always so happy around him.” Gilt eyes lit up. “Hey, I’ve got it! Maybe this girl should eat you…”

“NO. I’m not being eaten by anyone!”  

“What the hell!?” the woman roared. She sleepily rubbed her eyes and stretched. “That was barely a nap at all! Whoever woke me is gonna die.” The kid in front of her lay frozen in fear. “You know, you’ve got some nerve brat.” Fine eyebrows twitched under a purple star.  “I haven’t slept in frickin’ days. It’s literally been fight after fight after fight! No time for rest or food or rest. Being a warrior totally sucks!” Once she calmed down a bit she noticed silver. “Hang on a sec, are you a demon?”  

Sesshomaru refused to open his mouth.

“I thought I asked you a question, child?” The tone of her voice was laced with venom. She seemingly scared the little boy mute. But then his buddy appeared by his side. She met him with a game of curious stares.

“You’re a very pretty lady.”

“Why… thank you,” she started to blush.

“Hi, I’m Zane. Nice to meet yah.”

“You’re surprisingly very polite. I’m Lady…”

“Decent, but that’s being generous.” His hand gently squeezed on the side of her bust. “And here I thought you were completely flat. Glad the surface doesn’t match the board." The boy chuckled. "Am I right, Meowmaru?”

The woman slowly raised her hand. "Demon...!"

SMACK! 

---

That was the memory that played in his head as he watched the miko beat the hanyou down.

The boy cowered at her feet in lumps and bruises. “It was an accident, Kagome, I swear!”

“One does not simply grope by accident.” She sneered while pinning him an icy scowl. “You reached for that woman’s boobs on purpose!”

“No, I was trying to wake her up. Look,” he quickly tried to explain. “My foot slipped when I squatted and I missed her shoulder. It was an accident, Kagome, damn! She didn’t freak out nearly as much...”

“That’s because she likes you and you know it!”

“Well excuse the fuck outta me for being liked!”

Sesshomaru left his perch undetected.  So much for meditating undisturbed. In the past he would’ve dealt the happy couple a blow. But time had a way of being funny sometimes. Yesterday’s nuisance was tomorrow’s friend. All it took was a common enemy for an unlikely alliance. He had been in the situation before when he was younger and foreign travelers visited the land. They were a group of powerful demons whose random timing couldn’t have been better. Faced with a growing threat in the south the great dog demon swiftly enlisted their aid. Meanwhile it was Sesshomaru’s job to keep company the leader’s youngest son, Zane.  

Citrine eyes narrowed. Stupid cat.

Never in his life had he met someone so reckless. From time to time Inuyasha resembled him, but the lion’s tenacity knew no bounds. For every day that the cub was there they had gotten into nothing but absolute trouble. Their biggest crime was pestering a miko. Every chance they got they followed her around. Sesshomaru never could figure out Zane’s obsession with the woman.  Despite the many times she threatened him he was always back for more. It was as frustrating as much as it was odd seeing a demon fascinated with their natural born enemy.

Sesshomaru imagined he’d gotten used to it by his half-brother’s aberrant choice of friends; a demon slayer, a monk, a fox kit, and her. The woman the whelp was currently courting was a spiritual wielder as well. She was a benign miko-in-training hopelessly in search of innocent love. Unfortunately, the hanyou was just now learning himself and wasn’t quite as ready to settle down as he’d thought. Both were clearly way in over their heads but he supposed they’d figure that out for themselves.

Leather black boots hit hardened earth. The demon maneuvered within the forest. Instinct led him to a large pine where pieces of bark were peeled off the trunk. Someone had been there collecting sap.  Such practices weren’t totally uncommon… but still. Something about it looked strangely familiar. The cat’s obnoxious chewing suddenly came to life but not a soul was anywhere to be found.

Sesshomaru shook his head. “Ridiculous.” He suddenly felt a demonic aura at the forest’s edge.

--O--

Prompts: beginnings, rubber

A/N: Quick edit was made. Decided to make this one a chapter story. Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this new humorous tale :3