Bound by Corruption by BelovedStranger

Taste of Darkness

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up >.< What with work and trying to do NaNo, it's been hectic, but here you all go!

Prompt: A leopard cannot change its spots.

After her silent nod of reluctant acceptance, he dropped her hands and hers fell away from his haori. Unable to keep looking into his satisfied gaze, her eyes fell to his chest, seeing the wrinkles she had caused from her tight grip. Though she was unhappy with what he demanded, expected of her, Kagome did not step away from Sesshomaru, the only living, breathing person other than herself left in her destroyed village.

“Can we go now?” she whispered, a hitch in her throat, the smell of burnt wood and charred  flesh a painful reminder of last night’s massacre.

Unable to help herself, she reached out a hand to Sesshomaru, seeking comfort, but he turned away from her. She watched his retreating back with bewilderment, then pain. She followed. At first she looked at the ground, but that too was blackened from fire, grey ash everywhere. She quickly lifted her gaze to his broad, white back, focusing on the fluid sway of his long, silver hair.

Sesshomaru ignored the onna who followed quietly behind him. He felt no remorse in refusing her the contact, the comfort, she felt she needed. Let her suffer alone, feel the sting of loss as they traversed the quiet streets of her destroyed home. Let her be painfully reminded of all that was taken from her. He wanted hatred to build inside her breast even if she was not consciously aware of its presence. Soon, she would be when she witnessed him spill the blood of her enemies.

He also had to admit to himself that he was far from pleased with her, by her continual denial of not desiring retribution. He acknowledged that part of the reason he forced her to make this painful trek through the wreckage was because of his irritation at her. It was a small penance for angering him.

Kagome’s thoughts almost mirrored his own, for she knew Sesshomaru could fly them out of the burnt remains of her village. He chose not to, the jerk. When he walked near an unmoving form, she cringed. Then she gritted her teeth as tears misted her eyes, once again watching the sway of his beautiful hair. He had done that on purpose, was forcing her to acknowledge her surroundings, to remember. She almost hated him for his callous behavior. But she followed him silently. She needed him to help her find her sister. And right now, he was all she had.

Out of seemingly nowhere, a bleak thought struck her, and she froze as the horrible realization set in.

Sesshomaru stopped when he no longer heard the miko following him. He gazed at her over his shoulder in silent inquiry. She was not looking at him but at the ground, her expression hidden by her bangs.

“Aijin?”

At his soft call, her head lifted slowly, and when her gaze reached his own, he knew something was wrong. Her eyes were filled with anger and bitter anguish.

He turned to face her.

“You could have saved them,” she whispered, her eyes accusing him. Kagome’s hands tightened into fists as she took a step towards the inugami who stood coolly before her. “You had the power to save them and you didn’t! Why did you let this happen? How could you?” Her expression turned pleading as she sought understanding. “You saved me back at the shrine. I know you could have stopped those bandits, yet you didn’t. You let them die...everyone.” Her voice cracked.

Sesshomaru tensed. His mind quickly formulated an excuse. “You are wrong, aijin. I wasn’t here.”

“Liar! You came for me. You pulled me out of the burning hut. You were there.” Her aura flared, but she didn’t realize it.

Sesshomaru did, and he knew that if he did not calm her down, she would probably try to purify him. Not that he was worried she would harm him, let alone defeat him, but she would no longer be willing to abide by their contract, and he was far from done with her.

He schooled his expression, shook his head at her words. “I had left.” He raised his right arm as he said, “I was in need of a new set of garments as you are aware. When I returned, the village was ablaze, and I went in search of you.”

He was lying, he didn’t care, felt no remorse to lie to this distraught ningen. In reality, he had seen the bandits coming, had watched with a small, malicious smile as they destroyed, raided, and murdered. Yes, he could have saved the villagers, massacred the aggressors, but he had wanted the village destroyed, wanted this miko to be left alone in the world and watch her heart blacken with the need for vengeance.

He had watched over her from the skies, made sure that she was safe. He had even killed a few men who had gone after her without her knowledge. He had watched her frantic movements as she ran to her small dwelling, knowing what she would find, her grandmother’s corpse, for she had been one of the first killed.

However, her reaction was not what he had anticipated, disappointing him. But he planned to change that. It was only a matter of time. But he could not tell her that. She would despise him and rightfully so.

Kagome tried to read his expression, to find any hint at deception. She found none, only open sincerity. Her shoulders slumped in dejection as she realized she had accused him unjustly, again. How he must hate her. He had saved her life, twice, and this was how she repaid him. She felt awful, ashamed.

She stepped forward with a remorseful expression. “I’m sorry, Sesshomaru. I didn’t mean...you’ve done so much for me. I had no right to think that you’d...can you ever forgive me?” She was muddling up her apology, but she couldn’t seem to help it.

Looking down into her sincere, sad gaze, Sesshomaru felt a twinge of conscious. In that moment, she looked so unbelievably innocent and pure that he opened his mouth to release her from his contract, but then he got a hold of himself, silently berated himself for his foolishness. There was no such thing as a pure being, innocence was a lie. Humans were born with an evil nature just like demons, and just like a leopard, they couldn’t change their spots, their nature.

How could he forget that one simple fact for even a second? Her unbeguiling expression angered him, made him want to hurt her for daring to make him doubt, for hiding from the darkness within her soul. More than anyone else before her, he would relish the moment she realized her innocent facade was nothing more than a lie.

Kagome cringed, not understanding his fierce expression. At first his eyes had clouded over, looking indecisive, and something more, remorseful maybe, but then his eyes had turned flinty, hard. His expression scared her. He looked almost like he hated her, despised her. For a fleeting moment, she thought he would strike her, his body tense, ready to pounce.

She took a hesitant, wary step back, but he merely watched her for a second longer before turning away from her and began walking away again. She hesitated further. Should she follow him?

“Come, miko.”

She almost jumped out of her skin in surprise at his unexpected call. Still she didn’t move. His voice had been emotionless, unfeeling. He scared her, but she forced herself to take a step forward, then another and another. She followed him even though logic screamed at her to turn and run away, get as far away from this dangerous youkai as fast as possible.

Instead, she followed him. For one, she wanted to escape her destroyed home, for another, she needed his help to find, and possibly, save her sister. And deep in her subconscious was a desperate need. Until she found Kikyo, she was alone in the world, but with Sesshomaru there, his tall, indomitable form walking steadily ahead of her, she could pretend that she wasn’t.

Finally they were leaving the village, the scent of smoke and burnt flesh forever seared in her mind when she noticed where they were going, or not going as was the case.

“Uh, Sesshomaru?” she called softly, wary of him still.

He didn’t pause in his stride, didn’t acknowledge her. She wondered if he heard her or purposefully ignored her.

Trying again, she said louder, “Sesshomaru? We’re going the wrong way. The village Kikyo was visiting is the other-”

“That is not our destination.”

Though his reply was clipped, she was encouraged, hoping his willingness to converse with her was a good sign. “But that’s where she was last seen. Shouldn’t we start there?”

“If what the villagers said was true, then that village is already destroyed. We will find no answers there.”

He had a point. Her shoulders sagged, realizing that she had no idea where to start looking for her sister. Then she wondered where Sesshomaru was taking her. His steps were unhurried, but he didn’t hesitate, as if he had a destination in mind. “Then do you...know where we’re going?”

Sesshomaru had quickly regained control over his ire; however, right now, he was in no mood to interact with the miko. He did not want to converse with her, did not want to comfort her, and he most assuredly did not want her making him second guess himself.

He wanted her to silently follow him and leave him to his thoughts. No such luck. Instead of ignoring her like he wanted to do, logic had him responding. He knew if he didn’t give her even the barest of information concerning their destination, knowing she wanted to find her sister, she may not follow him. He didn’t have the patience for any emotional display from her should she decide to look for her sister herself if he did not clue her in.

“We travel East. The ones who destroyed your village are heading in that direction and I plan on intercepting them.”

Sesshomaru didn’t tell her that he had heard a few conversing before they struck her village, knew where they planned to march. He had no worries that he and the miko would not intercede their path tomorrow, possibly that night if he pushed the onna as the bandits forces were more than a few dozen, and many had been on foot.

He wondered if she would ask how he knew where the bandits were going, but she did not, saving him from having to waste his breath on a lie.

Kagome merely nodded at his response, not even thinking to question Sesshomaru and how he came about this knowledge. Honestly, the thought didn’t even cross her mind as her thoughts were filled with horrifying imaginings of finding Kikyo’s dead body. She shivered at the gruesome image, feeling cold and lonely.

Her mind threatened to relive the nightmare of last night, but then she stepped on a rock. She cried out in pained surprise, hopping on one foot as she held the injured appendage. It was then she noticed that she still wore her stained yukata and no shoes.

She saw that Sesshomaru and turned his head to gaze at her over his shoulder. She ignored his raised eye brow, blushing at her clumsiness, and inspected her heel. No blood. No broken skin. Luckily the sharp rock didn’t do much damage. The pain was already leaving her. She gingerly lowered her foot to the ground and took a tentative step. Slightly sore, but bearable.

She gazed at Sesshomaru sheepishly. “Um, do you think we could find a change of clothes for me? And maybe some shoes?”

Sesshomaru nodded, then turned and they continued on their way, Kagome’s eyes glued to the ground not wanting to injure herself further.

An hour later, Kagome’s stomach was growling loudly, but she didn’t complain, didn’t break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them after her request to find clothing. She knew her companion was not in a talkative mood. Actually, she wasn’t sure what mood he was in. Her fear of him since exiting the village had waned, but she was still slightly wary, put off by his uncommunicative attitude.

Her stomach roared again. Kagome put her hand sympathetically over her abdomen and continued walking.

Sesshomaru could hear her hunger, had heard the first small rumbles almost as soon as she stopped talking an hour ago. Even when she didn’t speak, he reflected, she was far from silent. He had waited for her to complain, to say something, but she didn’t. He was slightly surprised. Humans were known to complain, to voice their discomfort, yet she did not.

Wordlessly, he had lifted his head to scent the air, silently searching for nourishment for her. There weren’t many options as they were not near a village or in the woods where nature had an abundance of fruits and berries. They traversed on an abandoned dirt road, but he kept his senses open.

When he finally scented ningen another hour later, she had still not complained. In the distance, he saw a small dwelling and turned his steps in that direction.

Kagome had never been on this particular road before, never journeyed in this direction. In fact, she had hardly ever left her small village, so she was surprised when she saw a small hut and beside it, a garden. Her stomach rumbled again at the thought of substenance. She pictured a small family living here and hoped they wouldn’t mind offering her something to eat and possibly a change of clothes.

As they moved closer to the hut, they heard a woman’s cry and a loud thump, the cry abruptly cut off. Without thinking, Kagome ran for the hut, passing Sesshomaru as she charged for the door flap, pulling it aside and froze in the doorway. Light filtered into the small wooden structure from a large window, sunlight falling upon the two figures on the ground.

A woman was flat on her back, with a groaning man on top. In contrast to his sharp, frantic movements that jarred her, the woman didn’t move, a red pool under her head steadily growing larger.

Kagome felt faint at the familiar red liquid. There was no mistaking it for what it was. Blood.

Her wide eyes moved to the grunting, heaving man, noting in her bewildered shock that the woman’s kimono was ripped, spread wide, revealing pale limbs. He was between them, lunging forward and back in small, quick, hard jerks. At first her mind couldn’t process the scene as it tried to protect her from further trauma. She moved back unconsciously. The man was unaware of her presence as he continued to lunge, retreat, lunge.

Her back connected with a solid mass. She recoiled, jerked back, and gazed up at Sesshomaru fearfully, at first not recognizing his familiar form. He was looking down at her silently with a bland expression. She cringed when the man behind her uttered a hoarse, drawn out cry. The knowledge of what was happening behind her came crashing down on her and she trembled not with fear, but anger.

She swung around and ran at the panting man who had collapsed on the still unmoving woman. She beat at his back, the back of his head, no, pulling on his greasy hair, screaming, “Get off her, get off her!”

The brute roared in pain and rage, blindly swinging at her. Kagome fell back on her bottom, his forearm connecting with her body. He stood between the woman’s spread legs, his brown eyes eyeing her with displeasure, his hakama pooling at his feet while his flaccid member swung limply between his legs.

Kagome wanted to throw up at the sight, disgusted, livid. “How dare you,” she breathed heatedly.

The man laughed and took a step towards her, his hand going to his groin and stroked himself obscenely. “What’s this? Did you want me to fuck you too, girly? Come here.”

Fear mixed with her anger. She started to stand, self preservation kicking in. But before the man could grab her, a white blur moved past her on her right. She watched in dreaded fascination as Sesshomaru wrapped his hand around the man’s throat and suspended him in the air. Strangled sounds emanated from the man’s gaping mouth, his hands struggling to tear Sesshomaru’s steely grip from around his neck.

Kagome lurched to her feet as she watched the brute kick his feet in midair futilely.

“Sesshomaru, stop! What are you doing?”

Kagome watched in alarm as the brute’s face turned red, his eyes bulging.

Sesshomaru didn’t look at her as he asked, “Do you really want him to live?” He barely turned his head, just enough for one golden ord to pin her where she stood. “He had just murdered that woman and raped her corpse and would have raped you as well, miko.”

She gasped at his words, her eyes darting frantically to the unmoving woman. She moved closer, fell to her knees and reached for the fallen woman.

Please, no. Please, no. Don’t be dead, don’t be-   

There was no pulse. Still in denial, Kagome lowered her head to the woman’s face, turned her cheek over over the woman’s mouth and prayed to feel breath against her face. Nothing.

Kagome leaned back slowly, gazed down at the white face, the blood beneath the woman’s dark hair. This time, her mind did not take hold to try to protect her from the gruesome knowledge, the appalling sight of another dead body. Horror threatened to consume her until she head gurgling behind her. She turned her head and saw the man in Sesshomaru’s death grip, his face now blue and purple from lack of air, and felt nothing at first.

The man’s bare foot twitched, his hands growing less frantic as he tried to pry Sesshomaru’s hand loose. She felt a twinge, a need to save a life, but she hesitated. Anger set in, no, rage. How could she save the life of such a vile man? Another twinge of conscious. Life was precious. Kagome, kneeling beside the dead woman’s body, her eyes on the drama before her, was unable to move, to speak, as her morals clashed with raging emotions. 

Sesshomaru sneered at the dying man as he dodged the stream of urine that pooled out of the ningen’s limp genitals. Then he spoke to the miko again. “Do you still wish me to spare his life?”

She didn’t respond.

Sesshomaru turned his head to gaze at her, his eyes falling on her face, looked into her eyes and saw her inner struggle, witnessed the moment the conflict ended. She did not stop him, did not ask him to release the ningen filth in his grasp, but she did turn her face away, trying to distance herself from the murder taking place before her.

He was having none of that.

“Don’t look away,” he told her harshly.

His sharp tone must have taken her by surprise, for she gasped, her eyes flying to his face. Again he asked, “Do you wish him to live?”

He saw her hesitate then her jaw clenched, her hands on her thighs curl into fists. Though she didn’t speak, he could see the answer in her eyes. His smile was slow in coming, but it stretched his lips in a wide, malicious smile, revealing his fangs. As the last signs of life left his victim, his gaze continued to capture hers, refusing to release her, wanting to share the moment with her, for her to know that she was just as a part of this as he was.

The silence was only punctured when he dropped the rapist’s lifeless body to the floor. The loud thump made her jump. Moving to kneel before her, Sesshomaru stroked Kagome’s cheek in an almost loving gesture, his eyes filled with pleasure at seeing the darkness he knew to be inside every living being shadow her eyes. “Aijin,” he whispered, his erection straining between his thighs.

He had killed a man, watched her watching him as the filth’s life slipped away, and witnessed a small, dark shadow enter her gaze. He wanted her in that moment, his body primed to plunge in her small, soft body. This was the moment he had been waited for, to see darkness taint her seemingly innocent face.

He reached for her, intending on taking her there, now, amongst the dead and bask in each other’s dark souls, but she flinched, crawled backwards away from him. He saw awareness of what she had done, what she had allowed him to do, filter through her eyes. He saw revulsion, aimed not towards him but herself.

He grinned at the internal struggle that warred inside her mind. Her face was expressive, every thought plain for him to see. She was horrified by her actions, her thoughts. She shook her head at him, denying the truth. He then new that he still had a ways to go in corrupting her fully, but finally he was making some progress. 

“Yes, aijin,” his voice pitched low in an intimate tone. “You let him die. You wanted him to die.”

She shook her head fiercely and whimpered. “Y-you’re wrong. I-I didn’t do anything. You killed him! It wasn’t me; it wasn’t me!”

Kagome felt sick, her stomach roweling. It was impossible for her to look away from the intimate look Sesshomaru leveled on her even though it sickened her further. He was enjoying this, enjoying her horror and pain.

Her throat seized when he said, “You didn’t stop me, didn’t try to protect his life. Aren’t you just as to blame?”

Oh, God, she was going to be sick.

She stood and ran outside, just making it out of the doorway before she fell to her knee and wrenched, dry heaving for there was nothing in her stomach to expel. Her body didn’t care. He was right, he was right. She had let that man die, had wanted him to die. The knowledge tore into her mind, her heart. Her whole being cried out in denial.

After long seconds of heaving, spittle dribbling down her chin, she was finally able to draw breath as her belly calmed, relaxed. Her middle hurt, cramped from her violent wretching. Even her lungs hurt as she gasped in much needed breath, breath she had denied the vile man.

Her whole frame was trembling, tears rolling down her face when she heard a familiar, masculine voice, now emotionless, beside her. Her head turned to find Sesshomaru standing next to her.

“There is food in the hut, or if you prefer, in the fields. You’ll find clothing within along with sandals.”  

Kagome gazed up at him, appalled. Her voice hoarse, she asked, “How can you be so callous? A woman was just murdered and...and raped. How can you be so unfeeling?”

She watched as he knelt before her once more, his hand lifting towards her face. She flinched, but he wiped her chin, cleaning her face with his sleeve in a tender gesture.

“How does it feel allowing another human being to die?”

She looked away from him, her body trembling as she wrapped her arms around her sore middle, rocking herself in a vain attempt to warm her chilled body, to comfort herself. He was right. Oh, God, he was right! She had let another human die.

She was shocked when Sesshomaru pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair, down her back. She held onto him, needing, seeking comfort, but she should have known better. He nuzzled his face in her temple, whispered temptingly in her ear. “Just think how you’ll feel when your  enemies lay dead at your feet.”

She fisted her hands in his shirt, dug her forehead into his chest and wondered the same thing, horrified at the implication, fearing her own reaction when that moment came. She had just learned something new about herself, something dark. It was a revelation she wasn’t sure she could live with.

She felt Sesshomaru kiss the top of her head, felt his smile. She did not feel comforted as he held her. There was no comfort to be had. Nothing was ever going to be the same, she knew with bleak certainty.