Bound by Corruption by BelovedStranger

To be Selfish

Prompt from Stella Mira's Proverbial Challenge:

'As soon as man is born, he begins to die.'

“Kikyo slept with Inuyasha.”

Kagome stiffened at the reminder. As if she needed to be! That was one of the things she couldn’t stop thinking about. She shot Sesshomaru a dirty glare even though her face was hot with embarrassment, remembering how he’d forced her to watch. He didn’t even have the decency to look away from her accusing gaze, but stared at her intently, forcing her to look away.

God, she couldn’t look at him without remembering how she had reacted to the sight, her body and mind yearning for Sesshomaru’s touch. Worse, he’d known she was aroused! But then she couldn’t help but wonder who he thought she was responding to, him or Inuyasha? Not like she was going to ask and find out, she inwardly sniffed. She doubted she could live with the embarrassment to vocally tell him it had been he that she was thinking about in that instance.

“And?” she asked tightly, picking at the edge of her kimono sleeve nervously. Did she really even want to hear what he was about to say?

He decided for her.

“Did you ever wonder why that is?” he asked her conversationally.

“You know I do,” she shot back a little unhappily, revealing her inner turmoil unconsciously—again. Kagome didn’t notice that she was digging her own grave.

“Happiness,” Sesshomaru stated simply.

As if it were that simple!

“You lost me.” Kagome returned her gaze to him with open curiosity. What was he getting at?

“Like you,” he began, “your sister has restraints put on her in your society because of your stations in life. A miko has many more rules to follow than most of humanity, I have noticed. Your name suits you, Kagome. A bird in a cage.”

Kagome stiffened at that and opened her mouth to blast him with a retort, but he was already speaking.

“Miko help people. They heal the injured, see those dying to the afterlife as comfortably as they are able when they are too wounded to survive or sick, and they fight evil spirits and demons. So much bloodshed and carnage, so many crying out for their aid, and so much death. Not only is it their responsibility, it’s their burden. Haven’t you felt the weight of your duty, Kagome?”

That shut her up. Though she wasn’t sure where Sesshomaru was going with this line of talk, he spoke the truth, and she nodded mutely. But she liked helping others, to be useful. However, she couldn’t say that, because she also hated all the pain and death that accompanied her duties, and that was one point she understood Sesshomaru was trying to get at, so she didn’t attempt to interrupt him.

“Wouldn’t you like to find a shred of happiness, to be selfish once in your life without someone condemning you for it?”

How he said that almost choked Kagome on the longing that swelled within her.

“Isn’t it plausible your sister took a lover because he makes her happy? While in a man’s arms, she no longer bears the weight of her station, but feels like an ordinary woman for once in her life.”

This news struck home for Kagome, hit on every one of her insecurities and doubts. Yes, she’d always felt like she was different from everyone else, especially the women from her village. She’d see them with their beaus, sharing hugs, kisses, and secret smiles, but also love. She’d seen it shining in their eyes as they looked up at the man in their life. She’d seen happy couples and children hanging on the folds of their kimono. Kagome was secretly envious of them, because a family was usually denied to a miko.

True, the first born was able to have a family of her own, but only after several years of service as a priestess. But then, it was usually only to have daughters that could take over her duties. And Kagome was second born. Sesshomaru was right yet again. Her name fit her perfectly—a bird in a cage. And at that moment, she hated it, felt resentful that such happiness of a husband and children should be denied her because society decreed it so.

Why shouldn’t she find some shred of happiness? Kikyo appeared to have done so. Why couldn’t she as well?

Little did she know that Sesshomaru was purposefully twisting logic, no matter how true it might be. Easily, he manipulated her feelings, using her hidden bitterness caused by the restrictions placed upon her for being a miko, and her hero worship towards her sister.

He could see the impact of his words clear on her face, how her brows scrunched closer together in a frown, the pinched quality to her mouth, and the fire of defiance in her eyes. Even her fists were clenched on top of her thighs.  

Temptingly, he murmured, “Life is too short, aijin, to deny yourself happiness just because someone else claims you’re not worth having it.”

He had been about to say ‘pleasure’ but quickly replaced the word with ‘happiness’ in hopes that it would strike a stronger cord within her, without her denying his advances in the future out of pure stubbornness. 

“Not worth—” Kagome began, before anger and hurt feelings cut her off.

Was that what everyone thought of her? That she wasn’t worthy enough to be happy once in a while? To give and give without having anything in return? She grinned mockingly at herself. How foolish she’d been, how naïve. She’d always felt such pride to be a miko, to have been given a higher purpose in life that she hadn’t seen the shackles that’d chained her so securely.

“It’s not fair,” she muttered, looking away.

Seeing an opening, Sesshomaru ignored the weakness in his body from his spell casting and moved closer to the onna. She must have been deep in thought to have not heard his subtle approach. On hands and knees, he loomed over her.

Her head whipped around so fast when she caught sight of him from the corner of her eye, her hair brushed his chest before settling around her shoulders. Kagome’s eyes widened to find him so close.

Sesshomaru reached out and stroked her hair gently. “No, it’s not fair,” he murmured. “Be selfish, Kagome. For once, do what you want, not what you think you have to.”

The air in Kagome’s lung all but stuck there, making it impossible for her to exhale the swift breath—more of a gasp—at his presence. What he was saying, offering, made her expel her breath in a strangled wheeze of a sound. Looking into Sesshomaru’s golden eyes, she all but drowned in them. There was male interest, that was for sure, and yet it wasn’t as fierce as usual, but more…gentle? Or subtle than she was used to. He didn’t touch her in any way, was allowing her the choice to accept his sinful proposal or refuse him—again. And yet she could feel the heat radiating off of him, burning her.

She couldn’t think rationally when he was so close. She never could, but what also made her hesitate to rebuke him once again was her inner turmoil. Sesshomaru’s logic ate at her, made her want to be reckless and give in to the desire she tried so hard to deny between them. However, what made her reach for him was the deciding factor for her.

If Kikyo thought it wasn’t immorally wrong to find happiness in a man’s arms, than she wanted to agree. What she didn’t want to admit, even to herself, was that she wanted an excuse, any excuse, to give in to her lust for this Inugami. Inuyasha was a demon, albeit only half, so surely it wasn’t wrong to choose a demon for herself, too?

She didn’t verbally agree or even nod her head. Couldn’t force herself to visibly acknowledge what he offered with any sign of agreeability other than leaning forward on her knees, placing a hand on his shoulder, and tentatively laying a chaste kiss on his mouth. Inwardly, she prayed he didn’t want more of an assent from her and took her actions as such.

Thankfully, she felt his arms wrap around her back and bring her fully against his muscular chest, and press his lips more firmly against hers. Before he even demanded she open her mouth in word or action, Kagome was already parting he lips in welcome. A small, feminine moan became lost in Sesshomaru’s mouth when his tongue stroked along her own, and she followed his lead, an erotic mating of their mouths.

Oh God, it felt so good to let her inhibitions go and let her desire take control. It was freeing, liberating. Until she felt his hands at the front of her kimono, parting it. Though she wanted this, another part of her was shy and embarrassed. So, when he lowered the cloth from her shoulders, baring her from the waist up, she stiffened, and grabbed onto his shoulders to stop herself when she would have instinctively crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t want him to think she was backing out or regretting her decision, but God was it torture to just kneel there while his eyes roamed over her breasts.

Her nails bit into him when he remained silent and continued to just stare at her. Kagome was just about to cross her arms and lean away from him, thinking he might be displeased with what he saw, but his husky timbre stopped her, causing a shiver of renewed desire to run down her spine.

“You take my breath away, aijin.”

That he thought her beautiful, though he didn’t say those words exactly, made her nipples harden, silently begging him to do something, anything. She had no idea what a man and woman did together, but after watching Kikyo and Inuyasha, she wanted Sesshomaru to reach out and—

As if he read her sinful thought, he cupped her breasts and gently squeezed. Face hot, Kagome looked away from his face and at his chest, but when he made a circular motion, his rough palms rubbed tantalizingly against her nipples. A strangled sound was forced from her throat, her flesh more sensitive than she had ever thought. However, it wasn’t until he plucked one of her nipples between his thumb and forefinger, pinching and pulling at it, that had her back arching when electrical sensations of pleasure hit her.

Unconsciously, she thrust her breasts more fully into his hands in encouragement for more of that. And he gave it, and much more.

Taking both of her nipples between his fingers, he began the same torture, but with both of them, making her squirm, pant, and moan breathlessly from his attentions. He was barely touching her, and yet he was driving her wild. Had she always been this sensitive and just didn’t know it?

Thought scattered when he lowered his head to the side of her neck and found a sensitive nerve or two with his sucking mouth and hot, slick tongue. Kagome barely noticed when he used his larger frame to push her back until she was laid out on the forest floor beneath him. Lifting her arms, she wrapped them around his neck, undulating her hips against his stomach in growing agitation.

Sesshomaru panted against her neck. The sexual tension between them had done a number on his control. He wanted to bury himself in her tight sheath now, and damn foreplay. The only thing that stopped him was her innocence. He’d surely hurt her in his haste, and there was no way in hell he was going to ruin her first time and cause her to deny him her body at a later date—and there would be another and another. This onna had led him on a merry chase, denying him time and time again. No, he was going to show her exactly what she had been denying them even if it killed him.

He’d show her such unadulterated pleasure she’d never conceived of and addict her to the feelings only he could wring out of her. She’d crave him, desire him, lust after him. He wanted the memory of his touch to be so firmly planted in her subconscious that she’d remember at odd hours of the day and burn with sexual frustration at night, and turn to him to assuage it with open arms.

But also, while he learned every inch of her body, she’d be tutored in how to please him in all ways. Just the thought of the ecstasy to come made him shudder in want.

Moving down her body gradually, he kissed her shoulder, nibbled on her collar bone, and kissed the valley between her lush breasts, tasting her, basking in her aroused scent. He heard her breath hitch as his lips continued farther down, building her sexual tension with the knowledge of where he was headed.

Finally, his tongue found her, using the rough pad to lick over her nipple, felt her arms tense around him. Kagome moaned deep and low in her throat when he suckled the hardened nub, lashing it with his tongue in the moist cavern of his mouth. Her back arched off the ground, thrusting her ample breast more fully into his mouth. He rewarded her enthusiasm with a hard suckle and pinched the other trapped between his fingers.

It wasn’t enough.

Reigning back, he released her nipple with a soft pop and knelt above her. Sesshomaru smirked down at her flushed face when she cried out in denial after he’d stopped. Kagome tried to drag him back to her breasts, but he silently refused to budge as he shrugged out of his two haori.

No, don’t stop! she silently begged Sesshomaru, only for her thoughts to splinter at the sight of his bare chest. Of course, she’d seen it a few times before, but she’d never allowed her eyes to linger or appreciate just how physically beautiful he was. His muscles bulged at every small movement he made, his abdomen flexing, the ridges of his abs tantalizing her. 

Her hands itched to touch him, and without thinking, she lifted them to his stomach, and stroked the hard contours of his abdomen. A heated look entered his amber gaze, and when he slowly lowered to all fours over her, caging her beneath him, a sexual thrill went straight to her weeping sex. The moisture embarrassed her, not realizing exactly what it was, and she tightened her thighs to hide the affect he was having on her body.

His hand went behind her skull, titling her head back, and he was kissing her again, flaming her blood with every lick and bite. When his hand went back to her breast, her thighs shifted, rubbing them together in hopes that would assuage the ache. It didn’t work, and soon she began to shift and make small mewls of frustration.

She tried to tell him that she ached and burned horribly, but her frantic movements seemed to transmit her frustration to him. With one knee, Sesshomaru easily parted her clenched thighs. And after only a moment of hesitation, she stopped fighting the inevitable and allowed him to settle between her legs. The feeling of his rock hard chest against her sensitized breasts was profound. With a tilt to her back, she was able to rub her tight peaks against him.

But she needed more.

“More…” she murmured between kisses, raising her knees on either side of his hips and tightening them around him in entreaty.

He chuckled, the sound deep and sinful to her ears.

“You desire more, aijin?” he murmured huskily next to her ear, moist heat bathing her flesh, causing her to shudder.

“Yes,” she whispered back, her voice so low, she barely heard herself speak.

“Do you ache?” he asked on a rumbled growl, moving down her body again, making her tense, her flesh jump in expectation for his mouth on her breasts again.

He kissed one peak and then the other before licking the underside of one breast.

“Do you burn, Kagome?”

“Yes, yes!”

His fangs scrapped against her rib cage, moving ever downwards. She didn’t stop him, but squirmed for more. Her hands moved restlessly over his shoulders, nails digging in. when his tongue swirled around her belly button, her hips shot off the ground and a low moan spilled from her parted lips.

Sesshomaru had to pause his wicked tongue when her kimono impeded him further access to her body. With nimble fingers, he yanked her obi open and parted the folds of her kimono, fully exposing her to his gaze and the forest around them. If anyone should happen upon them now, Kagome doubted she would notice, too caught up in their intimate play to take heed of her surroundings. Her kimono was like a blanket beneath her, protecting her from the forest floor.

He was moving again, shifting downwards. Lower and lower until he kissed her hip bone, nibbling on it, which sent a spasm of pleasure through her overly sensitized body.

“Yessss…” she hissed.

Wait… Not yes. What was he doing?! Propping herself up on her elbows quickly, her hair fluttered against her naked back as she stared down at Sesshomaru wide eyed.

His fingers found her first, sifting through the small, dark hairs between her legs, until he found her wet folds, and began to fondle her, running his fingers through her moisture, causing her to blush to the root of her hair. Before she could voice words of reprimand from her parted lips, his thumb found a hidden nub on her clit, and with rough, circular motions, he showed her she hadn’t known pleasure until this moment.

Falling back with a sharp cry, Kagome bucked her hips into his hand, intensifying the sensations that racked her nerve endings. At first, she hardly noticed when he’d thrust a digit inside her, not until he rubbed the roof of her channel and sending a shock wave of intense pleasure that built her closer and closer to some sort of precipice. Sobbing, she moved her hips in time to his shallow thrusts, whimpering her delight when he added a second finger, and all the while, he continued to circle his thumb around her, again and again, over and over.

Her thighs tensed, her womb spasmed as she was about to hurtle into the unknown…when he stopped.

“What?!” she screeched, bewildered.

Glancing down at him, she saw Sesshomaru eyeing her intently.

Licking her lips, she asked, her voice husky, “W-why did you…stop..?”

Oh, God! Please, don’t stop! she inwardly screamed at him.

Sesshomaru was kneeling between her legs, rubbing her thighs, and murmuring nonsense sounds as she thumped back to the ground with a sound of frustration. What was he doing?! Or not doing? Dammit! Didn’t he realize she was in agony here? Why did he just… stop?!

“Please, Sesshomaru,” she entreated on a breathy moan, shaking her head back and forth on the ground, curling her fists in her discarded kimono. 

Sesshomaru chuckled as Kagome begged him to finish her. Though his shaft ached unbearably, the head red and inflamed with over excitement, precum sliding from the tip, even his balls hurt, it was worth the pain in his lower region when she begged him for an orgasm.

“Yes, aijin? What do you desire? Tell me,” he implored with a husky murmur.

Again she shook her head back and forth, arching her hips up for his touch.

“I-I don’t… Please… Touch me… like before…”

Leaning down, he lifted one of her legs, and kissed her inner thigh.

“How about a little more?”

“Yes, yes! More!”

Her scent called to him, the wetness betwixt her thighs glossy, her pink flesh beautiful. Watching her, his eyes never leaving her face, his lips moved lower, lower, waiting for her to realize just what he planned. When his cheek grazed her womanly folds, she jerked, and again she was up on her elbows, staring down at him wide eyed, as if she couldn’t believe his intentions.

“I’m going to kiss you here, Kagome, right where you burn the most.”

Just as his lips settled over her folds, her hands were in his hair, and she yanked—painfully.

“Sesshomaru!” she cried, shocked and embarrassed.

However, no matter how she yanked his hair or squirmed her hips in a desperate attempt to get away from his tongue, he refused to be dislodged. Persistently, he lashed her with the flat of his tongue, paying special attention to her clit, just under that tiny hood that hid the small nub that was the key to her pleasure. After a few seconds, his attentions worked, and Kagome’s hands ceased pulling against him, and yanked him closer.

He was eager to oblige, but he was forced to place a heavy forearm against her flat abdomen when her hips began to move frantically. Her cries escalated, heightening his lust to unbearable degrees. Sesshomaru ground his hips into the ground, trying to relieve some of the tightness in is groin. He would have liked to torture her further, but he was at his limits.

Still…

Just as she was about to orgasm, he stopped—again.

Her scream of dismay and frustration made him chuckle wickedly.

Tearing at the ties to his hakama, he allowed the fabric to pool around his knees, refusing to take the time to disrobe completely, and moved over her purposefully, and gripped the base of his shaft.

He crooned to her, petting her hair, and brushing the strands off her sweat slicked cheek. Lust glazed eyes stared up at him as he took position between her thighs. He rubbed the flaming head against her slick entrance, watched the full knowledge of what he was about to do enter her mind. She tensed but didn’t stop him.

“I know what will stop the ache,” he murmured to her, his voice gone rough and gravely with desire.

Then he was moving his hips, pressing forward, the head gaining entrance into her slick heat. Hell!

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he gritted out between clenched teeth as he slowly entered her, gaining leverage with each inch he forced into her.

“Relax,” he rasped as she went rigid from his intrusion.

Sesshomaru didn’t have to see the pained look on Kagome’s face to know that he was hurting her. Not only was she innocent, he was large. Without sounding vain, he knew he was considered huge and could easily hurt her if he wasn’t careful. That was why he’d had to get her wet, practically flooding with arousal. But still, she was tight. God was she tight!

Her knees rose and clasped his hips tightly, and her nails bit into his forearms. When he finally came to her barrier, he tensed in preparation.

“Just this once,” he said hoarsely to her. “Be wounded by me.”

Unable to stop, he thrust inside, intending to sheath himself in one thrust, but she was so tight, he was only able to go halfway inside her. He groaned. Kagome shrieked. He’d broken her barrier and was already pulling back for another thrust. This time, he went a couple inches deeper, but he wanted deeper still. Kagome was shoving against his chest, trying to get him off her, even bucked her hips to dislodge him, but only managed to impale herself farther. The scent of her blood reached his nostrils, and even though he wasn’t trying to hurt her, he was.

However, he was not stopping. Not now.  

When Kagome dug her elbows into the ground in an attempt to crawl away from him, he lowered his chest on top of her, pinning her to the ground.

“It hurts!”

Her palm settled over his forehead and eyes as she tried to shove him away, and Sesshomaru only gritted his teeth. Reaching beneath her, he settled his hand at the base of her spine, and angled her hips upwards to make it easier to thrust inside her. At the new angle, his next thrust met success as he thrust home, going balls deep.

Sesshomaru groaned deep and low, the sound vibrating out of his chest.

Kagome cried out and bit her bottom lip until he scented blood.

Remaining still, his body trembling at the strain as he fought the urge to thrust, he freed her abused lip with his thumb, and licked away the droplet of blood, before thrusting his tongue in her mouth. She was crying. The scent of her tears reached him. Sesshomaru refused to feel guilty over causing her pain, because it was a woman’s lot in life to be hurt upon her first mating.

Still, trying to be considerate, he held still deep inside her, allowing her to grow accustomed to his length and girth. She trembled under him, but at least she’d stopped trying to push him away and kissed him back.

Purring in approval, he kissed her gently, despite his body’s demands, and moved a hand between their sweat slick bodies. Angling his fingers downwards, his palm stroked down her belly, passed her small curls, and located her clit, rubbing that sweet spot to get her desire raging inside her again.

In perhaps a minute or two—too damn long!—she finally responded, moaning and undulating her hips against him. Sesshomaru groaned as her silken walls rubbed and squeezed his pulsing cock. Removing his hand, he placed his palms on either side of her and broke the kiss, leveling above her. Slowly, he slid out of her until just the head remained, testing her. Then just as slowly, sweat beading his brow as he forced control over himself, he pushed back in all the way.

Watching her face, he did that a few more times, and when Kagome clawed at him, whimpering for more, he pushed harder, speeding up his thrusts slightly.

“Ah! Sesshomaru!”

Though lust was riding him hard, he grinned at her enthusiasm and bucked inside her—hard. Instead of crying out in pain, she shouted with pleasure, her head thrown back, hips arching up to meet his thrusts. Groaning, he finally did what he needed. As he sped up, Kagome wrapped her legs around his hips, the heels of her feet digging into his lower spine, egging him on.

It was the only encouragement he needed to go harder, faster, deeper.

His voice echoed her moans, voicing his own pleasure as she milked him from all sides. Fuck! He wasn’t going to last much longer.

And neither was she, it seemed. With a scream that blasted his eardrums—his name—she climaxed, tightening around him like a fist, making movement damn near impossible as he shallowly but deeply pistoned inside her, his thighs slapping against her buttocks, the wet sounds of their coupling ringing in his ear.

“Damnation!” he cursed, pounding through her quivering folds until he, too, found release.

Even as his seed shot from his balls, up his shaft, pouring into her hot depths, he continued to thrust shallowly inside her, growling his release in a vicious snarl that was terrifying to hear.

“You are mine,” he rasped, shuddering over her in aftershocks of ecstasy, spilling the last bit of his seed into her womb. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you all enjoyed my LENGTHY lemon :D