No Going Back by Raythe

No Going Back

A/N There's now fan art attached to this piece that I drew called Kissing Her Fears Away. It's currently the only fan art I have planned for this one shot. Enjoy.

My best friend, Inuyasha, got the idea in his head that he wanted to move into his own apartment. It’s not like it was a horrible idea, but I think he became a little too romantic about the whole thing. Mind you, he’s wanted his own place since we were in junior high. Although the difference between me and him is I let go of a lot of the decisions I made for my future self. Like I used to think my friends Eri, Yuka, Ayumi and I were all going to live in the same house with our boyfriends. But then I grew up and realized I hate people. Just kidding, but I could not live with that many girls.

            Now Inuyasha used to believe that he and I would be roommates in a kickass apartment, both with jobs to be able to keep it, and live near the university we were both going to. I admit, I did like the idea at first, but that probably had to do with how in love with him I was. Or what I thought love was in the eyes of a young teenager. Not that he reciprocated those feelings. No, with Inuyasha it was always a platonic relationship, much to my dismay. As we got older and closer to “freedom”, I realized I needed to forget these romantic feelings I had for Inuyasha if I was ever going to be happy and stop dwelling on what I can’t have. So now that the opportunity of independence was upon us, I turned him down. It’s not like I didn’t want to live with him, I just knew the feelings for him I fought so hard to extinguish would come roaring back being in such close proximity with him all the time. But I was still his friend, and that meant I would help him move in.

            There was one thing he failed to tell me upon moving day though. He was moving in with his brother.

            Now normally that’s not a big deal. Brothers move in with brothers all the time, but Inuyasha is not exactly close with his brother. Brothers that move in together usually have lived under the same roof growing up. From what I’ve heard, his brother, who is two years older and named Sesshomaru, lived with his mother after the divorce of his parents, while Inuyasha, since birth, lived with his father and mother. All of their parents believed they should still have a sibling relationship, but with how often they see each other, it’s more like they’re distant cousins. They get together on holidays and such, but I don’t think they’ve ever chosen to hang out like buddies. I’d never met him. Until that afternoon.

            Over the years as Inuyasha’s friend, an accumulation of items have popped up now and then around my house. I figured now was a good time as any to gather these items and bring them to his new place, and I informed him of such. He had given me a key even before I told him I was dropping stuff off. “For whenever you want to just stop by,” he said. I just accepted it rather than having to put up with his stubborn ass insisting I take it for god knows how long.

            Inuyasha had told me he got some of his boxes in and was coming by later to unload the rest, so I figured I’d come over with his stuff and wait around until he showed up to help him with the last of it. I opened his door with relative ease, heavy box under one arm, and took the moment to appreciate how nice the place turned out to be once inside. Who knew Inuyasha would choose a place that looks so…tasteful? Gah, I feel bad, but Inuyasha is more the type to care about use and not aesthetics. Never mind that. I went to place his box on the counter and decided to peruse his fridge for something to drink. He shouldn’t mind too much if I take anything since I’m offering my help. Please be filled with something.

            Ha! Bottled water. Success! I pulled it out, unscrewed the cap and brought the cool liquid to my lips.

            “Who are you and why are you drinking my water?” a calm, deep voice asked out of nowhere, promptly resulting in spilling half the water down my front and the bottle to resound against the floor, my heart pumping a mile a minute in fright.

            “Um,” I stupidly uttered as I wiped my mouth, staring at this attractive yet intimidating male standing with a relaxed posture in the hallway. “I’m Kagome, Inuyasha’s friend. Who are you?”

            He chose to regard me blankly, not answering my question, before making his way towards me, only to reach for the paper towels and clean the floor before picking up the bottle. “Do you always drink beverages from strangers’ refrigerators without asking permission?” He asked staring at the quarter-full bottle.

            “No, but I didn’t think he would mind. And I didn’t know he had a roommate. By the way, you didn’t answer my question,” I replied, my heart having calmed down but my brain on alert.

            His eyes left the bottle and fixed onto mine, and I realized who he was before he even said it. “I’m Sesshomaru, Inuyasha’s brother,” he said while holding out his hand, though it felt like it was out of obligation rather than a pleasure to make my acquaintance. I took it anyways; I had no reason to be rude.

            “Nice to meet you, Sesshomaru.” Maybe he’s nicer once you get to know him.

 

            ==

 

It turns out I used that key a lot more than I thought I would. Inuyasha’s apartment—well Inuyasha and Sesshomaru’s apartment since I learned Inuyasha couldn’t get a place on his own and his parents thought it would be a good idea if they lived together—sort of became my house of convenience. Too tired to go all the way home? Stay at their place. Have an early class I don’t feel like waking up especially early for? Stay at their place.

At first it was a little awkward, since I was only friends with Inuyasha. Like when he happened to not be home while Sesshomaru was when I stopped by. It happened quite a lot actually. I guess college life was good to Inuyasha’s social life since he was at his apartment less than I was. It got better, though, getting to know Sesshomaru in all that time since he stayed in a lot more than Inuyasha did.

I learned I could actually discuss characters in books with Sesshomaru. I never could do that with Inuyasha. He hated reading. And Sesshomaru wouldn’t judge me for gushing over how the characters relationships would unfold. I would squeal unnecessarily but uncontrollably, and Sesshomaru would just smirk at me and shake his head slightly. Inuyasha would always make fun of me for getting attached to fictional characters.

Sesshomaru also understood the seriousness of doing well in school. I learned he got straight A’s during high school, which I was honestly jealous about because I had received two B’s. Stupid math. But the issue here was he understood how important it was to me that I do well at college.

Finals were approaching and I was stressed out. Usually when I stay over, they have sheets for me to use as I crash on the couch. I refused all sheets tonight. I couldn’t let any temptation of comfort lure me into beautiful sleep when I needed to study. Inuyasha had long retired to bed at this point. He figured if the answers didn’t come to him now, they weren’t going to come to him tomorrow. I just rolled my eyes and didn’t allow him to discourage me. It was reaching 1:30 in the morning when Sesshomaru came for me.

“You need rest,” I heard his steady and disturbingly calm voice as I hunched over my notes.

“Five more minutes,” I countered, waving my hand absentmindedly. It looked like I wasn’t getting those five extra minutes because suddenly my notes were closed in my lap and a striped hand was over mine. I looked up into his impassive face and he took my hand and tugged.

“You need rest,” he repeated and pulled me up leading me down the hall.

“I’m fine sleeping on the couch like always,” I said drowsily.

“What little sleep you do get you’ll need on a more comfortable spot than the couch to function properly tomorrow,” he explained logically.

“But I don’t want to kick you out of your bed,” I argued, though my body contradicted what I was saying when it sank wonderfully into his soft mattress and looked at him through half-lidded eyes.

I could barely tell in the dim light, but I saw him shake his head slightly and kneel beside me. He placed a hand on my head and pet my hair a few strokes until I closed my eyes fully.

“I’ll live without my bed for one night. Get some sleep, Kagome,” he said soothingly, and I was kinda surprised he was being so gentle. I smiled, though I was too tired to open my eyes, but I knew he saw and knew I was grateful.

 

==

 

That was really nice of Sesshomaru to do what he did and lend me his bed, but it was actually a curse in disguise. See…he has a really nice bed. So nice in fact, I have trouble sleeping on the couch now. Lately, when I stay over for days in a row, I unintentionally snap at Inuyasha because I get so cranky from lack of comfortable sleep. He blames it on pms which only frustrates me more because you shouldn’t automatically assume a woman is on pms whenever she gets mad. That’s sexist. Sesshomaru loves it. I can tell. He’ll watch and appear to be indifferent, but I see the amusement behind his eyes when Yash feels attacked.

It was about a month later when I decided I couldn’t take it anymore—and I felt bad enough for Inuyasha. It was my second night over and I had passed out on the couch. I woke up sometime in the middle of the night with an awful crick in my neck. I had waited for it to go away, but I couldn’t fall asleep after that. I had been dreaming about that bed for quite a long time. I finally figured what the hell? The worse that could happen is he says no.

I rolled off the couch and tiptoed across the floor and down the hall. I reached his door and slowly and quietly opened it to reveal Sesshomaru sound asleep on that glorious bed. I took a step inside and faltered. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. What if he got the wrong idea and thought the worst of me and never wanted to see me again. I know, a bit extreme, but it could happen and it would have been like all these months never happened. I turned around, but I could hear that bed calling to me. Oh Kagome. You know you want to sleep in me again. Don’t you remember how I caressed your body deliciously? You didn’t want to leave and we could be reunited again. Just turn around. Come back to me. Dammit, bed!

I took a deep breath and turned around and padded over to the side of his bed. I knelt down and nudged his shoulder. When nothing happened, I did it again and whispered his name. I saw his golden eyes glow through slitted lids, possibly the drowsiest I’d ever seen him. Suddenly I felt nervous and guilty for waking him. When I didn’t say anything, he opened his eyes wider with an expectant look on his face though still a little sleepy.

“Um…I’m sorry to wake you, but…could I sleep with you?” I saw him raise an eyebrow and I realized how that question could be taken another less innocent way and immediately blushed scarlet red. I started rambling to recover.

“I just mean your bed is so nice, and I of course don’t want to kick you out again, but the couch just doesn’t compare anymore and—” was all I got out before a clawed finger made the shushing motion over my lips. He scooted further away from me and pulled the sheets up for me, inviting me in. I gave my biggest “I’m sorry” smile and crawled in. I saw him roll his eyes before I turned around having my back facing his chest. That was the great thing about Sesshomaru. He didn’t always need words to get his message across. He knew when actions would be enough. Since I was already invading his personal space enough, I curled into a ball and attempted no physical contact. I heard him exhale I’m sure in an amused way before he draped the sheets over me and left his arm there. I didn’t move a muscle because all of my focus was concentrated on that pale arm that decided to touch me and hold me at the waist. Then I felt Sesshomaru shift closer behind me.

“Relax,” he whispered behind my ear, and that one word made me sink into the bed and stop worrying about ruining Sesshomaru’s night. If he really didn’t want me to sleep here, he would have told me to get out. So I closed my eyes.

“Goodnight, Sesshomaru.”

 

==

 

I’ve noticed when a change is occurring because of Sesshomaru, it doesn’t go back. Now it wasn’t so much I couldn’t sleep without being in his bed anymore, but that I couldn’t sleep without him. I got that rude awakening when I first went home and actually slept in my own bed. Longest sleepless night of my life.

So now every time I stay over, I need to sleep in the same bed as Sesshomaru. He seemed ok with it. With Sesshomaru, it’s like a lot of unspoken agreements. I’m not sure if Inuyasha knew. Or cared for that matter. Either way, he never said anything. Mostly because he was spending most of his nights at his new girlfriend Kikyo’s place. I thought it would upset me more to know he was dating someone he seems serious about, but I was glad he was happy.

Theoretically, I could sleep in Inuyasha’s bed when I stay over and give Sesshomaru his own space since Inuyasha is rarely there at night anymore, but that notion is too far gone now. Now normally, when Sesshomaru and I slept, we’d wake up in the same positions we drifted off in, but for some reason this particular morning was different.

I was the first to open my eyes and was surprised to find that instead of the lovely bookcase scenery I’m normally graced with I found myself looking at Sesshomaru and that our limbs were wrapped up in each other. The only uncomfortable and embarrassing thing was the morning wood digging into my thigh, but that couldn’t be helped. Yes, I know what morning wood is. I’m not a prude. I chose to ignore that for now and looked at his face, which is not a bad face to look at. I knew Sesshomaru was beautiful the moment I saw him, you’d have to be blind not to notice, and it runs in the family, but I’d never allowed myself to ever just…look. For one thing, he might find me creepy. But now that he was trapped in sleep, he wouldn’t know I was staring, thus negating the creepiness.

One thing I was always fascinated by about Sesshomaru were his markings. Inuyasha didn’t have markings like that. Well, not on a regular basis. But I found them so pretty, especially the crescent, which is my favorite type of moon. I wonder if they feel any different from the rest of his skin. I reached a hand up and traced a magenta stripe and went past the lines. Smoother, I guess? There wasn’t much difference, like a birthmark. Oh well, they’re still fun to trace. I was too busy tracing his crescent to notice his eyes had opened.

“I’m not sure you are aware, but I can feel that,” his voice startled me causing me to recoil my hand.

“Sorry!” I apologized, but he just closed his eyes as a small smile formed on his face.

“It’s alright. It felt nice,” he stated coolly and found my hand without looking and placed it on his face. I was so dumbfounded I could do nothing but let my hand sit there as I stared at his face in shock.

He opened his eyes when he realized the message had failed to compute. “Are you awake in there?” he asked and I could tell there was mirth behind his eyes.

I just rolled my eyes and nodded, resuming my tracing while he watched me do so.

 

==

 

Since waking up that first time facing him, it wouldn’t stop happening. Not that I’m complaining; he’s not a bad sight to wake up to. But all this staring at his gorgeous face every morning is causing some bad thoughts to form. Nothing like that! I just…want to kiss him. But I shouldn’t want that! Because I really like what we have now and I don’t want to ruin it. And then I’d never get a good night’s sleep again.

I have frequently had a dream within a dream where I finally get the courage to kiss him when he’s sleeping and he wakes up and tells me to get out. I’d be mortified if that were to really happen. And isn’t that like molestation to “take advantage” of someone while they’re sleeping? Oh god, no. I can’t…but those lips look so soft. It’s not like I’ve never kissed someone; it’s just been a while. A long while…I miss kissing.

I was contemplating all these things once again when I woke up in his arms. Maybe I should just do it. Get it out of my system. One and done. That’s doable. He’d never have to know and I could stop fantasizing about it. I sighed internally. Ok, here goes nothing.

My head was already tilted into the pillow so it was like our faces were ready to kiss but just hadn’t crossed the distance. I wet my lips nervously then immediately wiped them on the back of my hand. He doesn’t need a wet kiss. I need to be like a ninja, stealthy. Leave no evidence. I leaned forward as silently as possible and lightly pressed my lips to his. Damn, they are soft. I pushed a little more firmly against his lips. Wow, imagine if he were kissing back. Wait…he is kissing back. Shit!

I pulled away instantly and sat up to see him looking at me like nothing ever happened. Then he smirked.

“Feel free to wake me up that way all the time.” Oh I could have burned a hole through the pillow if my cheek was still resting against it I was blushing so hard. I couldn’t look at him. I immediately shut my eyes tight playing the very childish game of “he can’t see me if I can’t see him”.  I felt the bed shift and knew he was moving but didn’t check to see. Then suddenly, I felt a hand cup my cheek and soft lips on mine. My eyes flew open. Sesshomaru was kissing me!

It was light and reassuring. At the realization it was intentional, I closed my eyes and enjoyed it. There was no hastiness, like we had all the time in the world. It was better than my peck, that’s for sure. Sesshomaru made sure I knew he knew how to kiss. And that he liked to tease.

He would give me a lingering peck and lean a little out of my reach so I would lean forward, hungry for another. He did this multiple times until I was leaning over him while he lay on his back. Then when there was nowhere to lean he took the kiss further and tilted his head for better access. His tongue played at the part of my lips and I let it slip inside. Even then, it didn’t feel heated. It was like a slow burn that I felt in the pits of my stomach, but it felt good. It was like his kiss was sucking the energy out of me, but I didn’t mind. We just continued to languidly move our lips together until he broke the kiss. I stared at him with dazed eyes.

“Don’t be embarrassed.” I could almost laugh. After all this kissing, I’d completely forgotten how embarrassed I was. But I nodded and rested my head on his chest.

 

==

 

One and done? That was so stupid of me to think that. If something changes with Sesshomaru, you can’t. Go. Back. Why do I keep forgetting that? So now it’s become a nightly routine that when I join him for bed, we have a nice make out session first.

I mean, it’s nice, but I’m confused. Like, what are we? I used to be the person that always needed to know where I stood with people. I still feel that way, but I’m not going to risk anything because I really like what we have going. But what exactly is that? When I’m not in his bed, it’s like before we started all this. And that would be ok if it never happened again. But it happens all the time and I don’t know what to think. I decided to really wrap my head around it, I would stay at home for a few days. It would be hard on my sleep cycle, but it needed to be done.

Five days later and still no answers, I considered it a lost cause and went back. I hadn’t even reached the door before a what appeared to be indifferent Sesshomaru opened the door. We looked at each other before he turned and left the doorway open. I came through and closed the door behind me. I made my way to his room since I assumed he’d be there. He’s most comfortable there.

When I got there, he was standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed and a displeased look on his face.

“What?” I asked bluntly.

“There’s this thing called a telephone. Have you heard of it?” he snapped at me. Whoa, what crawled up his ass?

“I’m sorry. Was I supposed to call you?” I remarked.

“Where’ve you been?” he retorted, bypassing my question.

“Home. Am I not allowed to go home anymore?” I don’t know what it was, but his mood must have been rubbing off on me.

“You could let someone know.” I know what he meant by that. I should have let him know.

“Sorry, I didn’t think about it.” Which was a lie. I thought about it a lot, but talking to him would kind of defeat the purpose of going away.

He gave me a look like he knew I was lying. I’m sure he did, but I didn’t care. The look softened and he dropped his arms as he made his way towards me and took my hand. I let him lead me to the bed and laid on it. He came in on the other side and pulled me to him, his head on top of mine. Or rather, his nose buried into my hair.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he finally admitted. Ah, so we have the same problem. Not that I’ll admit it to him. It was really sweet of him to be so…vulnerable with me.

“I’m sorry,” I replied genuinely because I knew how that could be. My eyes were drooping as I apologized. I could hear Sesshomaru’s breath had evened out. I guess he really couldn’t sleep without me. Well since he’s already drifted off…

 

==

 

In April, Kikyo thought it’d be nice to make dinner for everyone. She’s a really good cook; no wonder Yash is never home. She’s really nice too. I’m glad they found each other, she’s good for Yash.

I offered to help her clean up. It was the least I could do after she made such a great meal for all of us. The boys were watching tv in the other room.

“Thanks for having me over and letting me invade the kitchen,” Kikyo sweetly said.

“Oh you’ll have to thank the guys for that, it’s their place.”

“Oh. You don’t live here too?” her puzzled voice questioned.

I made an audible smile before saying, “No, I’m just over a lot.”

She nodded. “So you and Sesshomaru are together, right?”

I shook my head. “No…” But the end of the word came out uncertain and lowered. And then I thought about it because I’d never considered it before. Were we? Kikyo must have seen the confused look on my face because her tone changed to apologetic.

“I just thought because you’re so close and over here a lot...”

“No it’s ok. We’re just…not like that.” Best to just say we aren’t. What if he wasn’t into the idea and Kikyo still believed we were a couple and said something while we were in the same room? Awkward. I smiled at her to pretend like her question didn’t derail me and get back to washing dishes lightheartedly.

She left shortly after and Inuyasha followed. Like a lost puppy. I couldn’t help making the comparison. Sesshomaru retired to his room at about the same time. I looked at the clock. It was only eight. He doesn’t normally sleep this early. I decided to go investigate.

I knocked lightly on his door. No answer. Well, I wasn’t going to take that as a no. I walked in and found him leaning against his headboard staring at nothing. I sat at the foot of his bed so I was in his line of vision. It was like he was looking through me.

“What’s wrong?” I finally asked and he actually looked at me instead of through me.

“I heard what you said in the kitchen,” he replied stoically.

I nodded. “Oh.” Is he upset about that?

“Is that what you want?” he inquired.

My brows furrowed. What was he talking about? Does he mean when I said we weren’t a couple? Well…no. I don’t know what I want.

“What do you want?” I figured I’d ask.

“I asked you first.” I stared at him incredulously. Was he really playing this game? Ugh, fine.

“I…” I shrugged, “I don’t mind what we’re doing.” He narrowed his eyes.

“Don’t give me that look. You say something now,” I said firmly as I crossed my arms. “And look at me when you do,” when I noticed his eyes leave my face.

“…I enjoy your company.” Well, that’s something. It made me smile. It’s actually monumental coming from Sesshomaru. I should just put it out there.

I uncrossed my arms and put my hands in my lap, twiddling my fingers. “Do you want to be together? Like as a couple?”

He cocked his head to the side in a very dog-like way. Under different circumstances I would have laughed.

He motioned me to come towards him. I came up by his side, my heart thumping louder and louder as I came closer. He shook his head and a puzzled look came over my face. He gripped by hips and pulled them over his body so I was straddling his hips. If my heart could pump any faster, you’d think I’d flat lined because you couldn’t distinguish one heartbeat from another.

When our lips met, I sighed into his mouth. I could breathe again for the first time since asking the question. I felt his fingers playing at the bottom of my shirt as he nibbled on my bottom lip. I pulled back and lifted my arms above my head. His hands splayed over my sides as he scooted them up, taking the shirt with them and my breath speeding up with every inch. The discarded shirt was forgotten when his hands came around my back to start on my bra, his lips started showering kisses on my collarbone as I tangled my fingers in his hair. I felt the hooks come undone and his hands came up to brush the straps down my shoulders.

He was starting to pull back and pull the bra with him, but my hands shot up to hold it to my chest. Completely kneejerk reaction.

My eyes drifted down in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

He eased my fears by kissing me again, effectively distracting and relaxing me to release the bra and allow it to join its friend on the floor.

He pulled back again to get a look at me and I let him. Obviously the look was appreciative if what was happening directly beneath my crotch was any indication, which only served to excite me more. I figured if I was topless, it was his turn to be too. I gripped his shirt and started pulling, though not as sensually as he had done. Right. Left. Right. Left. Off.

My eyes were transfixed on that defined chest and stomach. My hands apparently had a mind of their own since they immediately sought out that enticing skin before my eyes. I was pleased to find he had more stripes on his body, and they were disappearing into his pants. I heard him chuckle and looked up into his delighted eyes and saw the smirk on his face. I blushed again at being caught staring. He pulled me into his arms again, but only long enough to flip us over so I was pinned under him.

I looked up at him with startled eyes at the change in position and his smirk grew wider as I saw him travel further down my body. This had to be the most emotion I’d ever seen Sesshomaru show, but it might be inappropriate to ask him why now. He left gentle kisses in his wake, to calm me I’m sure. I was already shaking and he hadn’t even touched me down there. Yet.

I was on high alert. I felt like all of my senses were being sent into overdrive and every nerve ending was responding to the slightest movement, contact or sound. When he undid my zipper, I felt tingles spread from my inner thighs and flow down my legs. I felt his hands hook into my waistband and take my underwear and pants together. I knew he must be staring at my bare form but I couldn’t bear to look at him looking at me, so my hands instantly covered my eyes.

I was surprised he didn’t touch it right away. He first put his hands on the top of my thighs and stroked and squeezed them. Why was I getting so worked up over him touching my thighs? I didn’t realize he had parted my legs until I felt a finger lightly brush against my most sensitive skin and made me jump. I tilted my head and peeked through my fingers in time to see his head lower. Oh no, he’s not gonna—

“Ohh!” the sound came from me unexpectedly at the feeling of a cool tongue swiping over my sex. My head had thrown back and the hands that were on my eyes had slipped down to cover my mouth. Eyes that were once cinched shut were wide open staring at the ceiling.

“U-um…I think—a-ahh!” and that was the last effort to articulate coherent thoughts from my mouth when his licking became more focused and pleasure inducing. So this is what it was like to be eaten out. It was un-fucking-believable! Pardon my language. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to self-love again after this.

I felt his fingers come into play, running up and down and occasionally going inside, and I couldn’t stop moaning. It was so embarrassing, but it felt so good. My back was starting to arch against my will and my muscles were constantly tightening and relaxing. One of my arms fell over my eyes while the other reached up trying to grip something, anything, to keep me from floating away and keep me grounded to earth because at the rate he was going, I was already in the clouds. I was getting especially loud when he starting pumping and sucking at the same time in a steady rhythm. I was bucking in time with him and it was completely out of my hands. I could feel that slow burn from our first kisses burrowing deep in my belly and I was so warm. Warmth. Heat. It had become an intense heat and I was going to explode any minute.

It turns out any minute was any second when I suddenly tensed all over before arching so much that I was out of his mouth’s reach, which was fine because I couldn’t take all that sensation. I turned on my side, silently asking not to be touched there anymore because I was too sensitive as I tried to get my breathing under control again and swallowed to ease the scratchiness in my throat.

I heard him leave the bed and shuffle around at the side of it, but I was too dazed to care what exactly he was doing. My arm had still never left my eyes. Then I felt his hand on the leg closest to him as he gently pulled on it so I would lie on my back again. I removed the arm over my eyes to see what he was doing now that he had both hands on each thigh. I didn’t see the smirk I expected, but instead a gentle soothing look. God, how does he do that? Gives me one look and I feel what he wants me to.

He leaned over me, propping himself up on his elbows, his chest resting on mine. He started kissing me again as I felt something poking against the lips not on my face. Hmm, when did he get his pants off? Wait, his pants are off.

I stopped his kisses and pushed on his chest. “Condom?”

He gave me a look like “how could you ask someone as responsible as me?” and started placing kisses on my neck. “Yes,” he hissed out against my skin.

That was a relief. “Sorry, just making sure. I didn’t want it to be like we’re too—” He pulled away from my neck.

“You’re talking too much,” he growled out and silenced me with a kiss. I guess that was true, and internally shrugged and kissed him back. I felt one of his hands reach down between us to position himself and suddenly my mouth forgot how to work. Which he noticed.

He pulled away enough to look in my eyes and used his other hand to stroke my hair, silently asking if I was ok. I swallowed and wet my lips and nodded. He kissed me a little harder than before, like as a distraction. Then I felt him push his way forward. I moaned into his mouth the further it went. I still felt tingly from my orgasm.

I pushed up against him and I heard an audible smirk from him. He took that as his cue that he didn’t have to wait. He pulled back and pushed forward at an achingly slow pace. How is he not dying right now?!

“Faster,” I whispered against his shoulder. Then I realized he had been holding back and I couldn’t suppress the smile spreading across my face. I felt a rumbling above my chest which I could only assume was coming from his. I turned my head towards him and noticed his ear was within reach. Hmm, what if I…?

A low growl escaped his lips disappearing into my hair when my teeth started teasing his earlobe. Evidently he liked that. I did it again, but couldn’t concentrate for long when his thrusting was having me see stars. The slow burn was back only now it was a raging inferno, threatening to burn me inside out. My cries were echoing around the room and I felt like I couldn’t get a good grip on anything. I matched him in movements as best I could while my hands held on as best as they could to his slick shoulders.

I felt my orgasm creeping up onto me with no way to stop it, and I just let it take me. Instead of tensing like before, I moved like a wave or a worm and even faster, if that was possible, as a repetition of loud “oh”s left my mouth. I felt my walls clench down on the welcome intrusion and hold on for dear life, which inevitably sent Sesshomaru over the edge. There was one last push and he just held there, and I felt heavy pants against my neck. Our breathing was the same and I could feel his heart beating on top of mine.

I shivered when I felt him pull out of me and lay at my side. I felt an arm slide across my stomach and pull me towards him in a way that put me on my side and against his chest. We lay like that for a few minutes. Just when I was about to drift off he spoke.

“Yes.” I twisted my head to look at his face.

“I would like to be together. As a couple,” his knee-weakening voice calmly stated. I smiled brightly and chuckled. I’d completely forgotten I’d asked that question. I put a hand on his cheek and traced his stripes softly. I knew actions were words for Sesshomaru, but it meant a lot that he still chose to say the words. Because that was for my benefit and that made me amazingly happy.

It’s good he said yes because I knew there’d be no going back. Not with Sesshomaru. There’s only forward.

 

*************

 

A/N So there you go guys, my first ever lemon. I love reading them and have reached the point where I no longer feel shame about it, so I thought, “What the hell? I’m 18. Do it!” Hopefully it doesn’t completely suck. This took me three days to write when I had originally planned to only spend a couple of hours on it. Oh well.

I wanted a story where they got feelings for each other in the right time frame. You know, what’s right to me. And I tried to really keep them in character. Well Sesshomaru. I really wanted him to be in character because I hate when he changes after meeting Kagome just once or gets super lovey dovey, so I knew it needed to be a gradual thing. Sorry it’s so long. I don’t think I’ve ever written 14 pages before. I just needed to get it all out and couldn’t commit myself to more than a oneshot. Btw, I only got the idea for the title from that new Sick Puppies song when I was halfway through the lemon.

Hope you liked it. Tell me what you think and if I’m cut out for this lemon writing.

Oh, I forgot to say: I don't own Inuyasha.

 

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