The Snow Angel by SunsetMiko

The How's

Chapter 58 - The How's *Toxic*(Skye's Weekly Challenges)

"Inuyasha, there is something I wish to discuss with you," Sesshoumaru said as he made himself comfortable on his futon. He had just returned from his bath, glad that he had been able to have a spring all to himself. Otherwise, he would not have been able to attend to the pressing matters he was stuck with after Kagome's massage.

"Yeah, what is it?" Inuyasha grumbled. While he recognized that Sesshoumaru would take care of Kagome, that didn't mean he was comfortable with the idea of them being together. He was even less comfortable being in the taiyoukai's presence. His mind still announced danger, urging him to prepare to fight every time they were near one another, and it was difficult to contain that instinct.

"I wish to explain why I have not told her my," Sesshoumaru hesitated for a moment, looking for the right word, before continuing, "identity."

When Miroku gave the hanyou a confused look, Inuyasha smirked. "He's the fucking dog. That's why Prince never came back, because Sesshoumaru showed up instead."

The monk's eyes bulged in shock, and he turned to the taiyoukai for confirmation. Sesshoumaru merely nodded before returning his attention to Inuyasha.

"Cuz you enjoy hearing her cry?" the hanyou asked sarcastically.

"Because I do not want her to see me as a pet. She cared a great deal for me as Prince, and I feel incredibly guilty for comforting her knowing she is mourning the loss of one of my forms, but I wish to earn her heart, for her to love me. I want her to love Sesshoumaru, not Prince."

Miroku nodded his understanding. "In the same way that Kagome wished for Inuyasha to love her and not simply her resemblance to Kikyo."

The taiyoukai gritted his teeth, not liking the monk's example, but nodded again. "Exactly. Once she has fallen for me, once our relationship has been established, then I will confess everything. I cannot do so before then. Not without wondering who she sees when she looks at me."

"It is a very complicated situation," Miroku said.

"Yeah, well I think you're just being selfish, letting her cry like that when you can stop it," Inuyasha growled.

"If there was another way, I would tell her in an instant, but I cannot bring myself to lie to her directly. It is hard enough to simple omit the information, as a lie of omission is still a lie. I do not want to begin our relationship on lies, but I see no other way."

Inuyasha stayed silent for a long moment before sighing. "Yeah, I get it. That doesn't mean I like it."

"You must understand," Miroku began. "Kagome is very hesitant to open her heart, to risk that kind of pain again. Inuyasha did not make things easy. He kept her guessing, confused and hopeful, for a long time. It is not surprising that she is afraid to be hurt once more. I do not know how you will get her to give you a chance."

"Yup. She's got the idea that you're interested in her, but she can't figure out how or when it happened. Not being able to tell her when you fell for her is going to make it that much harder," Inuyasha explained.

He wasn't certain why he was helping his half-brother. Maybe it was the part of him that felt guilty for breaking Kagome's heart in the first place. He was responsible for her fears, worries, distrust, and insecurities. Perhaps it was time to make it right in a way he had yet been unable to do, and show her that she deserved to be loved. He just needed to find a way to get her to go with the flow and see what might happen. She would never get anywhere, and would never heal, if she didn't take a chance on someone.

Sesshoumaru ran his fingers through his bangs in frustration.  A barrage of questions kept rolling through his mind. How could he earn her trust by lying to her? How could he gain her heart if she kept it guarded? How could he win her over if she questioned his intentions and his emotions? How could he explain that he had fallen for her because of her kindness, her willingness to help, her strength and intelligence, and everything else he had learned about her in that cave when he was Prince if he couldn't tell her he had been there to witness it all?  How could he attain his goal and make her his mate with so many obstacles in his way?

Miroku saw the worries on Sesshoumaru's face, the taiyoukai not bothering to hide them, and decided that he needed a little help. "I will do my best to encourage her to open her heart," the monk promised. "And I am sure Sango would be willing to do the same."

"Shippo would, too," Inuyasha added. "The runt's always trying to help her get over it and move on. He still hasn't forgiven me for hurting her."

"And you?" Sesshoumaru asked the hanyou. "Kagome cares a great deal about your opinion, and so long as you continue to treat me as your enemy, she will never accept me." The taiyoukai silently prayed that Inuyasha would change his behavior. The hanyou's attitude towards him was toxic, poisoning every interaction he had with the miko. Each bit of progress he made was always undone by Inuyasha's anger and hatred, because Kagome cared so very much about him. That, above all else, needed to stop if he ever expected to win her over.

The hanyou was silent for a long while before looking up, locking eyes with the taiyoukai. "I'll help you. I owe her that much since I broke her heart. It's only right I help put it back together. But if you hurt her..."

Sesshoumaru smirked. "I would expect nothing less. I would never hurt her. I would rather die than do so."

"Good, cuz I'd have to kill you."