The Snow Angel by SunsetMiko

The Overanalyzing

Chapter 52 - The Overanalyzing *Surrender* (Skye's Weekly Challenges)

They were almost to the forest floor once again, and the group decided to continue traveling past lunch. Kagome was counting the minutes until she could get away from the taiyoukai, whose proximity was causing her so much confusion. She wished that her friends had never said a thing. She had been fine with him when she didn't know what was going on. She actually enjoyed his attention. Now, though, she was over-thinking and overanalyzing everything.

She was running every moment of their interaction through her mind, trying to understand what was happening. She couldn't understand why he would suddenly be interested in her. When he first showed up at the village, she had been a depressed mess, and their first day of traveling hadn't been much better. They had barely spoken to each other, but even then she had caught him staring, and she remembered his failed attempts to talk to her. Had he already been interested then? Come to think of it, the day he came to Kaede’s he had shown an awful lot of concern for her when she had assumed he wouldn't even notice her sadness. Was that when it started?

Before the day he turned up in Edo, they had barely interacted. She had yelled at him a few times while he fought Inuyasha and shot an arrow or two in his direction. He tried to melt her. Their previous aggressive interactions definitely did nothing to explain why he would suddenly have a romantic interest in her. Had he been watching her from a distance and fallen for her that way? No, that didn't make sense either. Why would he bother in the first place?

Kouga had claimed he loved her from the moment he laid eyes on her, though she knew it was more like from the second he heard she could sense jewel shards. What could have led to Sesshoumaru's sudden shift? From an attempted melting, to professional ignoring, to suddenly wanting to mate her? But was that even what he wanted? He only said that Inuyasha was protecting her like a mate-to-be, causing the hanyou to say he couldn't have her. That didn't mean Sesshoumaru wished to mate her at all.

Maybe he was interested in lying with a human. Could that be what he was after? Well, if it was, he could forget it right then and there. She had no interest in being a demon's whore. She knew from his own lips that his mother had concubines. Was it possible that the taiyoukai did as well? Could he think she was a loose woman that would sleep with him just because he was rich and powerful? Sure, he was an absolute god, but that still wasn't reason enough for her to sleep with him.

She wanted her first time to be for love. In truth, she had always assumed that she would only be with one man for her entire life. She would meet the love of her life, he would sweep her off her feet, and from that moment forward, her life would be a fairytale. When she first met Inuyasha she wasn’t foolish enough to think he was her Prince Charming, but she grew to love him, and boy did that end up being a mistake. He wasn't charming in the least, and he certainly wasn't a prince.

She missed the only Prince she had ever known. She had the feeling that the dog would have been able to help her with this problem. He seemed to have been a pretty good judge of character, like many animals were. If only Prince could weigh in his opinion on Sesshoumaru. Did he have good intentions? Was he truly attracted to her, or was he just looking for a little strange? She refused to play the part in his experimental sex with a human. Just the thought that that was a possibility was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

He scented her tears immediately, and Sesshoumaru gently turned her in his arms. When Kagome glanced up at him, he looked so concerned she lost it. A loud sob escaped her throat, and she turned away, trying to hide her face.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" he asked, his tone so sweet she let out another sob.

"Nothing," she said while shaking her head and wiping at her eyes. She noticed that everyone had stopped and was watching her fall apart for no recognizable reason. Kirara floated beside them, her friends all there wondering what in the world was wrong with her.

"It is obviously not nothing if it has you so upset. Talk to me."

Kagome shook her head again and turned, showing her back to everyone.

"Come on, wench. Spill! We ain't stupid, ya know. You don't cry unless something's up."

"It's just... I was thinking and I... It's..." Another sob escaped, and Kagome shook her head, humiliated. "Prince."

Sesshoumaru felt like someone had just shot an arrow through his heart. He had been lucky enough to miss the whole day she had cried for her lost dog and had only witnessed sparse tears. This was heart wrenching, and knowing that he could take away her pain in an instant made him feel like the lowest life form on the planet. He could feel Inuyasha's eyes on him, but he refused to meet his brother's gaze. He knew what he would find there: anger, hatred, distrust, and more. Still, he could not bring himself to confess. He was going to have to explain his reasoning to the hanyou as soon as possible, because he didn't doubt Inuyasha would tell her himself if he didn't.

Unable to take it anymore, the taiyoukai pulled Kagome into his arms, turning her so that she could bury her face in his moko-moko. He whispered assurances of Prince's safety in a calming tone, relishing in the physical contact while drowning in guilt at the same time. He was a bastard. Inuyasha was right. He was allowing the woman he loved to cry when he could stop it, all to save face. He just couldn't let go of the need to know that she had fallen in love with himself and not Prince. Besides, if she knew he had been her dog, maybe she would never be able to love him the way he wanted. Not if she always saw him as the weak, pathetic, stray mutt that she had rescued. It wasn't worth the risk, and so he let her cry.

Kagome cursed herself for crying and cursed herself for finding solace in Sesshoumaru's arms. She didn't know what he was after, and yet she let him console her. Could a man who held her in his arms and whispered hushed, comforting words, all the while keeping his hands in entirely acceptable areas really intend to use her for sex? It didn't seem likely. He was a gentleman, and proved it over and over again. Still, not knowing when he could have found the time to learn enough about her to be romantically interested unsettled her.

What could have happened to change his opinion of her so greatly? She needed to know. If he truly did desire her for more than sex, when did it start, and how? When had he realized he was attracted to her? What had drawn him in? Did he love her? Because, bit by bit, she was losing the battle to guard her heart, and little by little, she was starting to feel something for him.