The Snow Angel by SunsetMiko

The Fears

Chapter 51 - The Fears *Break it Down Again* (Stella's Soundtrack Challenge)

After a quick hand holding, in which Kagome looked a great deal more uncomfortable than she had before, it was determined that the next spell bag was a good distance beyond the mountains. Inuyasha's hand had not yet healed, and so he was unable to carry the miko on his back like he usually would have. After some discussion, it was decided that Kagome would travel with Sesshoumaru on his youki cloud while Inuyasha was stuck riding Kirara with the monk and slayer.

The taiyoukai was thrilled to have her so close to him, but he couldn't help but notice that she was acting differently towards him than she had the day before. Hell, even that morning she had been incredibly comfortable with their close proximity, but now it seemed as if his touch was making her skin crawl. He really didn't have to hold her as close to him as he was, but she had never traveled like this before, and he wanted to make sure the most precious person in the world to him didn't accidently step too close to the edge. If she fell, he would catch her, but he would rather spare her the trauma.

Sesshoumaru slowly grew more worried as time passed, and she did not calm. At first he had attributed her obvious discomfort to the new mode of travel. Being so high in the air on nothing but a cloud wasn't for everyone. He had figured she would get used to it, but Kagome actually seemed to grow tenser the longer they were together.

Had she somehow spotted his scars and realized who he was? He had imagined that she would have been angry and confront him for not telling her he was Prince so she could stop worrying about the dog, but if she did know, she seemed to be holding back. The not knowing was making him insane. He was already nervous enough and having problems interacting with her. He had been completely incapable of starting a conversation with her, and this time she apparently had no intention of helping him.

Kagome was mentally panicking. Sesshoumaru's hand rested on her hip, holding her body close to his, and while it did make her feel secure, it only added credence to what her friends had told her. She couldn't imagine the taiyoukai willingly touching a human, let alone for so long. Even if he was only keeping her from falling, there had to have been ways that required less physical contact. Did that mean  what they said was true?

The last thing she needed was another lovesick demon chasing after her. Kouga was annoying enough. What in the world was it about her that caused normal men to suddenly fall head over heels in love with her? Sure, some girls might have thought it was a great trait to have, but Hojo hadn’t tried to woo them for years, either.

There was a small part of her mind, however, that didn't really mind the new developments. That part kept reminding her how gently he held her hand, like she was a delicate flower. It would replay the few conversations they had had together, pointing out that he really wasn't how she had assumed him to be. He was sweet. He loved Rin like his own daughter and could even admit that aloud. She kept seeing images of Sesshoumaru smiling a genuine smile, showing her the warmth in his eyes. Maybe having the taiyoukai's interest wouldn't be nearly as insufferable as having Hojo or Kouga’s. He did seem like a really nice guy.

But did she like him? Kagome didn't know. After she and Inuyasha had come to the agreement that they worked best as friends, the miko had shielded her heart from any future pain. What she felt for the hanyou hadn’t been true love, but it had been powerful nonetheless, and she had suffered a great deal of heartache when Inuyasha could not choose between her and Kikyo. Was she ready to let someone in and risk that pain again?

Damn it, she opened her heart just a bit for Prince, and he managed to crush her when he left. If it hurt that much when he was just a dog, how much worse would the torment be if it was a man who abandoned her?

A small part of her brain was on his side, and it whispered that he would never hurt her, and he would love her until the end of time. Couldn't she see that in his eyes? The bitter part of her mind, however, was quick to laugh at such foolishness. Love didn't last. Love caused nothing but pain, and it wasn't worth the trouble. Stuck somewhere in the middle, both hopeful and afraid, Kagome had no idea where to go from here.