To be Content by Mikaela

To Be Content

Did you know that demons can feel emotion?

The only problem is that they have a hard time feeling that emotion. And because of that, they are unable to express any emotion at all. That is why everyone says demons are inhuman and cold, unable to be a real being. They say that they have no soul, but in truth, they do. It's just a twisted soul, but I don't care how twisted it may be. I'm in love with a demon, and I see into his life deeper than any human may ever see. I see the emotions that confuse him swirl in his golden eyes, and I wish that I could help him understand.

But he won't let me.

Yet, still, I love him. I love him so much that I lie to others, abandoning someone who thinks I love him. The regret that haunts me is horrible, nearly unbearable, but every time I am with him, that guilt disappears. He knows I love him, I've told him, but he does nothing. He seems unphased by my confession, but he won't push me away. I don't think he could if I wanted him to.

He has tried to kill me in the past, but I hold no fear of him. He is my love, the man I wish I could stay with for eternity. I know that he could crush my face with a simple touch; I know that he could rip out my innards with a simple flick of his wrist. But I am unafraid. I have no reason to fear him, no matter how cold he pretends he is, because he hasn't pushed me away from him, he hasn't told me to stop meeting him. So I continue to return to him, allowing him to do whatever he wishes with me.

Every once in a while, I will travel with him for short periods of time, and that brings him something that could be called joy. I can just tell by that swirl in his eyes. And the little girl that follows him loves me as well, but as a mother more than anything. I have always welcomed her, for her parents are long gone, and she comes into my arms with her cute little smile.

Sometimes I wish that I could just stay with both of them, living out the days at his side.

But I don't think that will happen. He fears for my safety, or rather, he shows that I could be in danger staying with him. Not only from the man who thinks I love him, but also from his allies. When he told me that, I was a bit surprised, because it was his friends that were the most threat. But he told me they weren't his friends. Just merely allies. So I continue to travel with my other friends, with the man who wishes I could be his. That man, my love's brother, doesn't know of my love. He thinks I am his. Before, I would have been glad, but now, I grimace. Yet, I still love him. I love him as a brother. His heart is kind, though his mind is confused and torn, and I try to be there for him. But he pushes me away as well, just as like his brother.

It doesn't make me think any less of them, though.

One has never confided in anyone as far as I know, and the other has had anyone he has ever confided in either dies or betrays him. So I allow them to push me away, and I press no farther into their thoughts. But, when they want me, I will be there.

I'll always be there.

And tonight, I am.

He sits across from me, silver hair flowing in intricate designs down his torso, his golden eyes cast towards the side. The fire shines against his silky hair, and I can't help but stare. He is so beautiful, so handsome. But I wouldn't care if he weren't, I would love him anyways.

But the looks are definitely a bonus.

"Miko," he calls me, for he rarely says my name, "Come sit beside me."

And I obey, quickly getting to my feet and coming to sit at his right side. He drapes his arm around my shoulders, golden eyes still cast at the stars.

"Do you wish to stay here tonight?" he asked me softly, pulling me a bit closer to his warm skin.

"Of course," I told him, cuddling closer to him. His body tensed.

And then he said nothing more, just sat there with me, running his nose through my hair. Maybe he loved me. Maybe he just wanted me there. I don't care either way. I just care that I am there, and that he allows me to be with him. He is my lord. I do what he tells me. I'd die for him.

They once told me that type of love was dangerous.

I used to believe them, but now, I see that they don't understand what love can make you do. It can make you see nothing but your love; it can make you understand nothing but your love's words. That is the love I feel. I can't stop myself any longer.

Then, the next morning, I leave. I feel as if I have lost myself when he disappears from my view. But, I just return to the others as the sun appears from its shield behind the mountains. I have to be strong. I have to be strong for him.

And I return to him as much as I can. There isn't any other way to see him but at night. Still, I savor my time with him.

This night, I have courage.

This night, as I sit in his embrace, I tell him I love him.

He acknowledges me, "I will protect you."

I'm content with that.