Breakpoint by UnknownRandomness

Ridiculous

A/N: So. I have returned from the dead, apparently. What can I do apart from grovel at your feet for leaving you lovely people in the lurch for almost a year? I am sorry for disappearing, and although I can't promise that I'm back for good; I will try my utmost to update at least once a month. Anyhoo, if there are any readers left - please enjoy! (Also - super rusty; haven't written anything non-degree-related in forever and it's 7 am and I haven't slept at all so beware of typos and gross abuse of the English language). 

Prompt: Clean

Word Count: 510

Living with a being who possessed an extremely heightened sense of smell was both a blessing and a curse. For benefits in the former category, Sesshoumaru had told Kagome about the bird that had flown into the rafters and promptly died long before the smell had noticeable (for her at least). And not to mention the time the demon had prevented an infestation of rodents by alerting his female companion to the rubbish nest being built under their kitchen flooring by some rather resourceful raccoons. It was at times like those that Kagome really did love that super powerful (and elegant) nose of his.

However, it was at times like this one that she was so very tempted to snip it right off of his haughty face.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru."

"No."

"This isn't a request! Give me back the bleach, you thief!"

"Thief? This Sesshoumaru has never been so demeaned." 

Nostrils flaring, Kagome stalked to the kitchen counter and slammed her frog-shaped sponge onto the surface, imagining that it was the daiyoukai's stupidly impassive face.

"I won't apologise, because right now; you are one! Five bottles, Sesshoumaru! Five! In three days!"

Frankly, the entire situation was nothing short of ridiculous. Apparently, bleach - the staple cleaning product of (practically) every household globally - was offensive to Sesshoumaru's sensitive olfactory organ, and thus should cease to exist within fifty metres of said person.

When the first bottle had disappeared, the miko had thought nothing of it; after all, it was quite likely she had simply misplaced it or thrown it out by mistake. So another was purchased. When that one disappeared the day after, Kagome was a little suspicious, but once again simply chalked it up to her forgetfulness. But when three bottles of bleach all went walkies mere hours after they had been placed in the cabinet under the kitchen sink, Kagome knew that there was only one being responsible for their vanishing act - and it was not her.   

"It's a cleaning product. It is designed to clean. Not poison you, not drug you or harm you in any way - unless you were stupid enough to drink it dire- but that's not the point!" Jabbing a rubber-glove coated finger at her lover, the woman finished, "The point is that you can't just take something because you find it disagreeable! At least tell me about your reaction to it beforehand... Those bottles weren't cheap, and I had bought five."

A few moments of awkward silence passed, in which Sesshoumaru did manage to look as contrite as he was able (which was basically not at all).

Sighing, Kagome picked up the abused sponge and smiled weakly. "So, could you be a dear and bring me back my bleach?"

A quick headshake quickly had the miko's eyebrows raising in frustration.

"Why not?"

"This one may or may not have disposed of them by pouring all of their contents into the large landfill three hours south west of here."

Very gently, Kagome leant over the kitchen counter and banged her head against it. Several times.