Unclenched by md06783

Chapter 4

UNCLENCHED

4

He once had someone cry his tears for him.

On the sandy stretch of their beach, she faced away from him, angry at him at her last day alive. Her anger was justified, he admitted, but he had a motive. He wanted her to be herself for the remaining time without him interrupting her. She must understand that as she understood everything about him. She must and she will.

At last she turned to him. Her eyes solemn and aching. The first glimpse he had of her emotions regarding her impending death. She had been so brave in this. He knew that it wasn't her own pain that was reflected in her eyes but his. She never did show her own pain but reflected only of those around her.

Sesshoumaru's chest tightened. A growl escaped his chest as he hugged her to him, wanting to absorb every hurt she had into himself.

'Do not for I cannot. Do not feel for me for I cannot for myself.. yet.' He silently implored her in his mind.

Her courage, bravery and big heart masked her weakness, making others believe that she was stronger than she really was. But in the end, she was only a small human. If only she had been born a youkai!

He smelled her bitter salt tears and felt her hot puffs of breath against his chest. He wanted so bad to take it from her and be the one to bear it. He was more than strong enough to take it. He was the most powerful youkai alive. He had torn Naraku to pieces in just a whiff of breath. He could cover the breadth and width of Japan in less than a day. He could clear a whole territory free of youkai single-handedly and still not break a sweat. But what use was his prowess in the face of her tears? He couldn't even protect his woman from this!

He had never felt so helpless in his life and he hated it. He hated the chains that were his limitations. He hated the fact that he still couldn't tell her what she needed to hear. Their time had been too short. He still wasn't ready. He snarled out his frustration against her hair. Even her sweet scent was failing to calm him.

'Oh my strong,Taiyoukai. I know, I know,' she sobbed softly. 'I do not cry for myself but I cry for you. I know you will not allow yourself to shed it so I will for you. My heart aches for you, always for you.' She wrapped her arms tightly around him as she let the sobs take over her. She cried as he had never heard her cry before. Her sobs shook him and shook his soul. He felt as if he swallowed an apple and it lodged in his chest. He wanted to howl to make it come out. His temples hurt and he felt his eyes begin to burn. He recognized the symptoms and he knew that he was about to cry for the first time again since he was a pup still tagging after his mother. He needed to cry. He wanted to cry.

But he couldn't.

He must be strong for her because he was her strength and rock. She needed him to be strong for her when she finally let herself go. So instead, he absorbed all of her sobs into his chest, held her and let himself feel her.

'I am, I am. Hush, now, hush. I am.' he whispered over and over into her beautiful hair. 'I will be.'