Gas Station 101 by Bird That Flies At Dawn

Chaos

AN: This was written for Riku Ryuu's Odd Jobs Challenge. I hope this job is odd enough. >_<

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha, and I am not profiting from this fanfiction. Even though there are plenty of times when we all wished that we owned Sesshomaru...it just isn't going to happen... );

OOOOOO

“I wanted two lottery tickets!”

Sesshomaru sighed, pointing to the pair of slips that sat on the counter. “There are two.”

“Oh,” the lady said, grabbing her purse and waddling outside to her car.

“You know,” breathed Kagome from behind him, “you really should be more polite to the customers.”

“What did I just do that wasn't polite?” Sesshomaru asked, his white hair falling about him as he turned on his heel.

Kagome scowled, frowning at he coworker. “Well, your tone and all. You actually sounded pretty nasty.”

Sesshomaru scoffed, returning to stare at the man who was trying to find a bag of chips. He had been standing there for the past ten minutes. He picked up a bag of Cheetos, stared at it for a moment, laughed, and then sat it back down to resume his staring. Sesshomaru found it very odd.

“So,” Kagome continued, throwing herself onto the counter and leaning forward, her elbows on her knees.

Sesshomaru glanced at her. He opened his mouth when another scream echoed.

“This is a robbery! Give me all the money!”

“You're kidding me, right?” Kagome grumbled, eyeing the old stout man, his long greying hair in a ponytail that looked dirtier than the bathroom floor and Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites put together.

“No!” the man screeched. “Give me the money.”

“You pathetic excuse for a human,” Sesshomaru ground out, walking around the corner and picking the man up by the collar of his shirt. “You have no business in my gas station.”

“Technically you don't own the gas station!” Kagome called after him as he threw the man into the dumpster.

“Hn,” Sesshomaru muttered.

Kagome laughed at his reaction. “Don't worry, I'm sure someday you'll own your very own gas station.”

Sesshomaru was about to respond, but a loud guffawing caught his attention. The chip man was hugging a bag of Doritos, giggling and crying at the same time.

“Hand me the phone,” Sesshomaru ordered.

Kagome obliged, and Sesshomaru dialed the police.

“Yes, yes. I don't know, but the man is mad.” Sesshomaru hung up. “Insufferable human.”

“What is it, Sesshomaru?” Kagome asked.

Sesshomaru glared at the phone, tossing it at the girl who was still sitting on the counter. “They told me if I prank called one more time they'd come out here and arrest me.”

Kagome chuckled.

Sesshomaru's anger-filled eyes slanted to her. “This is all your fault.”

Kagome lifted her hands innocently. “I meant no harm with those calls. Kukuku.”

“You called the police and tried to order a pizza,” Sesshomaru reminded her.

“Oh, yeah...”

Silence echoed around them for only a moment longer before an explosion sounded from outside.

“Holy crap!”

The crazy man was cackling next to one of the gas tanks, a match in his hands and large flames sprouting by his feet.

“Could this day get any worse?” Sesshomaru asked.

The fire licked up from the tank and started to eat Sesshomaru's car, taking time as it nommed on the pretty white seats.

“Of course,” he growled.

Kagome watched over his shoulder with wide eyes. “Oh, dang. You were giving me a ride home today.”

Sesshomaru set his exasperated—in that slight way that only he can pull off—expression on the girl. “Really? REALLY!?”

“Well, yeah.” Kagome shrugged. “I have nothing sympathetic to say. You had it coming.”

Sesshomaru snarled, but was interrupted from dismembering his friend by the crazy man.

“There's a fire outside!”

“Yeah,” Kagome pointed out, “you started it.”

“It's happening,” he sighed, utterly awed and frightened, collapsing to the floor.

Sesshomaru leaned against the counter. It was just not a good day at the gas station for him. His job sucked.