About a Miko and an Old Well by Tough Cookie
About the Dreams
A/N: This is my first fanfiction. Ever. I feel so weird... but I digress. Though I have more or less the outline of this story in my head, I still don't feel very comfortable with the title. It was a last minute thing just because I had to put one if I wanted to submit this first chapter. So... I might change it (is that even possible?). Also, I suck at summaries. Just... please, give it a try.
Hate it or love it, read and review :)
Disclaimer: Inuyasha is property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Chapter 1 – About the Dreams
The dreams began a few months ago, mere days before we agreed to a truce between the groups.
First, they were only brief blurry images mixed in between my dreams, generally at dawn, when dreams dance in between consciousness and unconsciousness, just before waking up. Then, they became stronger, clearer and more frequent. Explicit and recurrent images of situations involving our fight, the well, Naraku... They haunt my subconscious and surface almost every time I try to get some rest. Lately it’s been near impossible for me to get a deep sleep and every morning I wake up to sensations that leave a bittersweet taste upon my mouth, my stomach, my whole body…
But mostly, my dreams are plagued by him, and I can’t understand why this is happening to me. That’s the main reason I decided to begin this diary, this dream journal, in the hopes that writing about them I might get to clarify if they have any meaning at all, although probably they are just the result of the following situations: a) I’m too bored, b) tedium is consuming me (yeap, an ocean of possibilities before me).
Still, the fact that some of them are so recurrent is somewhat disturbing.
How to explain this… how to put it into words… let’s say that four years of the same old crap are just too much. Traveling once and again through the mysterious well, killing demons, searching for the last shards of the jewel, trying to find the elusive Naraku, blah, blah, blah… And, on the other side of the well, trying to build a future for myself, to accomplish my degree (which shouldn’t be so difficult at all)… once and again and again… like a never ending story.
The very first year of this “madness” (because I can’t find a better name) I thought I was living a great adventure, in spite of all the difficulties, pain and suffering. All those nights under the starry sky with Sango, Miroku, Shippo… and Inuyasha. To say that to me they’re like a second family would be unfair, they ARE my family, as much as the one living in present Tokyo. Problem is that the darkest part of this story has overcome everything else. Our relationships can’t move forward mostly because our lives, in general, seem to be frozen in time.
Inuyasha and I… well that’s funny (to say the least). After Kikyo died (definitely, or that’s what we think this far), when finally Inuyasha got to accept the fact that she had disappeared from his life for once and forever, we gave it a try. A relationship doomed from the very beginning. Suddenly I felt Inuyasha more like a good friend (or even a brother) than a lover. Seems to me that, after all that time overshadowed by omnipresent Kikyo, something clicked inside of me and made me realize that Inuyasha’s heart was completely out of reach, that I could never turn that void into love for me, and I gradually lost my infatuation so that, when the time came, everything turned into a big failure. And Inuyasha… well, most likely, on his mind always was and always would be Kikyo, so given the circumstances, we felt more uncomfortable in the presence of each other than anything else.
Our first attempts with mature physical life were something completely frustrating for the two of us. After a short time we eluded each other just like oil and water. And so, we decided that our friendship was more important than this farce, that we weren’t willing to put it on the line for so little when we had so much to loose. It just didn’t work out, and it’s funny, after all that time longing to be with him…
So, life here, in Feudal Japan, has become dull and monotone. It’s getting far too long to find the damn last jewel shards. We’ve been traveling blindly through all the country having to fight every demon hungry for blood or the jewel shards (most of the times it’s about both things). Well, at least I got to improve my skills. After recovering the part of my soul that was sealed in Kikyo’s body, my spiritual powers increased in a certain degree so I can control them somewhat better (though they still have a mind of their own). And it’s pretty useful since every damn demon we happen to cross seems eager to engage in battle with us. Lucky me, huh?
Oh yes, demons, that brings me back to the subject, the truce and the dreams. It’s not like we are now friends but more like some kind of allies in battle. Sometimes they travel alongside us, sometimes they just disappear again, as if they were never there, but the fact is that the dreams began almost at the same time they decided to join forces. Whether it was casualty or it was fate’s plan, I still don’t know. I’m planning to write down here every dream and every significant event to see if I can throw some light on the matter (if there’s any light to throw, that’s it).
Kagome grunted. It was impossible to concentrate on writing when your backside was hurting like hell. They’ve been in a cave for hours just to avoid the hard rain but she couldn’t stand it anymore. Tedium was killing her as much as the hard rock against her body. She didn’t give a damn about the monsoon or the storm, she needed to get out and stretch.
She got up with a hardly suppressed yawn and went to the entrance of the cave ready to give in a cool shower when someone yelled at her:
“Oi, Kagome!”
“I’m gonna go for a walk, Inuyasha.”
“Keh, just take care, don’t wanna go out in the rain just to save your ass.”
Some friends I have…
“Whatever” she muttered.
As soon as she stepped outside she felt the water relieving some of her tension as well as her sore muscles. The scent of humidity covered the forest and she began walking aimlessly taking note of the funny noise her shoes produced while sinking in the mud. She was humming a song when suddenly she felt a strong demon’s aura. She tensed for a second, ready to run, when she recognized the owner. In fact, she had been dreaming of him a lot lately. She took on the direction of the aura, without even thinking about it. She thought they’d leave for a while but apparently they were already back. Still, it was strange, she couldn’t sense nor hear his companions. Just then, she arrived to a clearing. She didn’t even notice her own smile. He was standing, back to her, looking impassively at the sky and, just like she supposed, he was alone, his pack nowhere on sight, just him, the demon that plagued most of her dreams, Sesshomaru.
Kagome stared paralyzed as the water trickled down his pristine hair, down his impassive figure and to the tips of his claws from where it poured down to the ground. She knew that he was more than aware of her presence but still, he said nothing, neither did he turn around. And she just stared mesmerized, like in trance, while the water began falling down stronger and heavier on them. She felt as if dreaming, giddy, as if her knees where about to give up and she were to languidly fall to the grass and just… sleep. She was sure she was about to faint when she heard a voice.
“Kagome!”
She turned around, falling out of her reverie.
“Kagome!”
Suddenly Inuyasha burst out of the trees yelling her name.
“Kagome, are you alright?”
“I…” She was about to tell him that his brother was back when she turned to look at him again… and he was gone.
“Kagome? You’ve been out here alone for hours, I was worried.”
Well, they had something in common; Kagome was beginning to worry too.
“Hours? How long…?”
“Tsk, almost two hours, I did not realize you needed time alone so badly, and I didn’t want to intrude, but it never took you so long so I…”
“It’s ok, Inuyasha, I’m ok.” She lied. Hours? She felt as if she’d been alone for only minutes. What was wrong with her? And Sesshomaru? Was she hallucinating? Why did she feel so dizzy, as if she had actually been living a dream? She was going to blurt it all out and panic free when Inuyasha said:
“Have you seen him? Sesshomaru, I mean. I’ve felt his presence near you but it was gone when I arrived here.”
Kagome let out a breath she didn’t knew she was holding. So he had actually been there. Well, that was somewhat comforting. Maybe he was just on his way, after all, she never felt nor saw Rin, Jaken or Kohaku around.
“No, I haven’t” There was no use in telling Inuyasha the truth, what was she supposed to say? “Yes, I’ve seen him, or more like I’ve stared at his back seemingly for hours and then he has just disappeared.”
She concluded that she just needed some rest, or maybe a home trip. She only hoped that she wasn’t about to spend just another night dreaming of him.
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Ever since that day we haven’t heard nor seen a flick of his person. And damn we had been in need of his lordly assistance. We’ve just experienced one of the worst weeks in months. It was as if someone was sending us hordes and hordes of demons with the only purpose of extenuating our little group. Well, his first name’s letter is N, place your bets! Damn jewel shards seem to be so out of our reach we hardly got to sniff them in months and the great bastard Naraku is won’t show his face just so that we can wipe his hideous smile out of it.
I’m so tired… Honestly, it’s not the first time I think about it: to hell with this. I should find a way to seal the well and disappear forever. However, my stupid sense of duty has apparently other plans for me so, after one hour of discussing where the hell we should be heading next, Miroku concluded that going back was the best course of action. Of course Inuyasha threw a tantrum and asked him where the heck had he been the last week and if he had sent us that raccoon friend he had. I don’t blame Inuyasha, he does most of the fighting so I imagine this was a pretty horrible week also for him, but what Miroku said next threw us almost instantly on the way: what if there’s a reason for so many demons attacking us in so short period of time? Why was Naraku so intent on expelling us from those territories? So now we’re back on our way, back to the western lands, which reminds me, the dreams.
First ones were about us, Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku... Sometimes we were walking or camping, as we’re right now, waiting for the night to pass, sometimes we were fighting. It started to get sinister when I dreamt of Sesshomaru coming to fight us and, the next day, he showed off and fought with us against a pack of particularly vicious bear demons. That was the day we agreed to the truce.
Inuyasha wasn’t very happy to hear about it but it was profitable for all members. Sesshomaru admitted that, not having a shard detector in his little group was slowing his search for Naraku down, mostly because the better chances to get him where the ones that had the jewel involved, (or a shard, lacking that). Everybody had something to win with this agreement but Inuyasha, even if we were not traveling together all the time. Sesshomaru got his shard detector, (or the trouble attractor, as I like to describe myself; it’s not that I feel happy about any of the nicknames but, after all this years, I have resigned myself because, well, that was what my powers do). When they come along with us I have more time for myself to train and improve some abilities mostly because Shippo is now more occupied playing with Rin. Shippo got Rin and Rin got Shippo and that is a good thing for kids and for adults. Jaken has more eyes to look upon Rin, and that gives him some rest. Sango got Kohaku and, although he is loyal to Sesshomaru, she is more than happy to have him near. Miroku has more time to spend with Sango. Now that she has Kohaku by her side she feels more relaxed and so she lets some of his advances on her (still, she has to stop the perverted ones every now and then).
Inuyasha now, on the other hand, has to: share his shard detector, tolerate his brother’s presence, and worst of all, now that Shippo is so occupied playing with Rin, he is not able to vent his frustrations on him. Finally he accepted because I convinced him about some thing called democracy wining even before he had his mouth opened. He did not understand “this democracy thing” as he thoroughly told me, and he reminded me that I should be more wary than anyone since Sesshomaru had tried to kill me several times.
It is true, but he had saved my life more times than he had tried to kill me (probably with an ulterior motive, as Sesshomaru always has one when good will is involved) and I had to remind Inuyasha that he also tried to kill me when we met so he “keh’ed” and, reluctantly, he let go.
Maybe he was right, maybe I should be wary, but how could I when he keeps Rin and now Kohaku by his side? How could I when he protects those kids with his life?
That night they stayed with us and I dreamt again about us fighting each other but, this time, we were alone, it was me against him and I knew I didn’t have a chance. From that night on, the dreams began to be riddled by his presence.
It’s not like we talk in my dreams, most of the times we’re just in the same scenery without exchanging any word. Sometimes, in the dreams, he becomes violent, as the former Sesshomaru, the one I met four years ago, the one who fought us constantly, but somehow, I know his violence is directed at me for very concrete reasons, nothing involving Inuyasha or his sword. And then, there are these other dreams, the weirdest ones, in which he shows himself confident towards me even without saying a word, the ones that suggest a relationship between us (of which kind I’m not sure) and I just don’t get where all of this is coming from because, well, we have no relationship whatsoever.
He barely speaks with anyone unless he has an order for Jaken or a word for Rin or Kohaku. He maintains himself always a fair distance away from the rest of the group, both, if he’s walking in the front or the rear, and some nights he’s not even in sight of the camp area. Of course, he is always vigilant, but unless there’s a danger Inuyasha or I can’t sense, he rarely intervenes in our decisions. Sango is probably the most wary of us, but she is also grateful that he somehow takes care of Kohaku (in his own way), so she simply stays out of his way. Miroku tries from time to time to raise a conversation with the demon lord. Most of the times is like talking to a brick wall, but I have to give the pervert a credit for, every once in a while, Sesshomaru finds the talk endearing enough to share one or two thoughts. But that’s the whole of it, of course, and Miroku knows better than to press anyone (less “this Sesshomaru”), so he just goes back to his spot at Sango’s side and continues his routines. Inuyasha is an entirely different matter. He doesn’t like him around, and when he stays more than a few days with the group his mood grows edgy.
As for me, I try to be myself the whole time. The most difficult part is avoiding speaking about the future with my friends but, for the rest, well, I happen to have a strong personality so I don’t fail very often at being myself. Usually I walk in front of the group, trying to sense jewel shards, or at the rear, walking and chatting with the kids, so it’s not strange that Sesshomaru and I walk close. Still, he never answers me if I ask something, never talks to me unless there’s a certain necessity… he barely acknowledges my presence. I realize that I’m not Sesshomaru’s cup of tea, neither of us really is, and I probably fall under the derogatory category of worthless human in his eyes, and that’s exactly what has me reeling. It’s true that Rin and I have grown very fond of each other, and maybe that makes him look at me with a little deference (very little, by the way), but still… we’ve never had any real conversation, I haven’t even tried, (it’s not like he has a friendly look all over him). I don’t appreciate his cold and demeaning behavior and I can’t even categorize him as a friend of mine, but the dreams always leave me wondering and now that we’re approaching his lands I can’t help but wonder if they will show up and join us again...
Kagome closed her notebook with a yawn. Miroku, Sango and Shippo where already asleep. She tried to spot Inuyasha but he was nowhere on sight. Just when she was about to get up and search for him he jumped from his tree perch right to her side.
“Geez, Inuyasha, don’t do that.”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“It’s ok… I’m so tired.” Kagome scrambled to her sleeping bag. It was too hot to get into it but she still preferred to use it as a mattress other than to sleep directly on the forest floor. No amount of years in the feudal era had made her less wary of insects so she used the poor protection she had.
Inuyasha watched her and positioned himself against the closest tree.
“You should have been sleeping by now. What kept you up?”
“I was all too awake to even try.”
“Are you worried?”
“Well, I am, but no more than any other day. I’m ok, really.”
“Do you have another one of your tests soon?”
Oh, yes, she had told him that she was studying so that he wouldn’t ask about her journal.
“Ahhhh… not too soon, but I need to study anyways”
That seemed to throw him off.
“Don’t worry, you’ll do it perfectly. I just… I thought you were worried over something important.”
“Well, thanks Inuyasha, my future is indeed important.”
“Sorry, sorry, I thought it was something else.”
Inuyasha never saw her studies as something important for her, but then again, Inuyasha lived five hundred years in the past, what could he possibly know of how things had changed, specially for women in her era? Still, he had made a point, she was worried about something more important, or at least, something that had her mind more occupied than necessary, but there was no need to inform him of that. Kagome fell asleep with a smile on her face, thinking how would Inuyasha react if she were to tell him about her dreams with his brother.
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A/N: At this point, if you are reading this, it must mean that you read the whole chapter so, thank you very much for staying. I hope you liked it. I just wanted to point out that english is not my first language so, if you like what you've read so far and you are a good beta reader and desperately want to do some editing, please, just please, send me a pm. I'll appreciate it.