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The Best Laid Plans by The Hatter Theory

Introduction to Kink: An informative list

If, by some strange, screwy twist of fate, you're under 18 and find yourself reading this, click the back button NOW. 

Also, this is my X-Mas present for all of those kinky dokuga readers. I'll be posting the next few chapters over the next couple of days as a gift. Merry X-Mas!

(avoiding xxx-mas puns like the plague)

The Best Laid Plans

By: The Hatter Theory

Chapter One: Intro To Kink: An Informative List

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha and Co, and the list read from is found on Fetlife. I'm assuming that since there aren't any minors reading this, it's safe to say that.

Warning: Lo, on the horizon there is bondage and domination, rope play and cuckolding, swinging, random fetishes and flamingly gay men (although no gay sex that I've been able to incorporate...yet). Girl sex, solosex, toy sex, mutual masturbation, pink haired piercing artists and maid outfits (not on Kagome). I haven't finished this, so I have no idea what else will be added in. But, in the barest terms possible, this is all about a woman navigating her way through the world of KINK, from the soft and sensual to the hard and painful, all while figuring out who she is. So. If you don't like kink, don't read this, please. Some fics aren't for everyone.


She tried to look down at the little white card, the strange little identifier for the company. Her boyfriend stood next to her as she looked all over the table, at the walls, anywhere but at the little white card with it's distinctive black writing.

“I need to do something before we get engaged,” He told her. It wasn't a question, or even a plea. Just a frustrated declaration.

“Why?” She asked, not for the first time.

“Because I'm still young. I know we've been together since college, that's part of it. I need to experience something different before getting engaged. It wouldn't be right after that,” He groaned, pacing around her, then into the kitchen. She watched him open the fridge and pull out a beer, then open it effortlessly with his arm and take a long swig.

Wasn't it wrong to demand sex with someone else before agreeing to an engagement, an engagement he'd brought up no less? How could doing it before getting engaged be any more correct? How could it be right?

“Look, I need this, Kagome,” He sighed, leaning against the fridge. “Just this one time. It's completely safe, completely discreet. No one will ever know.”

“What if you catch something?” She demanded.

“Everyone is screened before they come through,” He informed her smartly. “This is a top of the line service. Everyone has up to date tests, everyone is matched according to fantasy. No names, no numbers, just two people experiencing whatever.”

And why couldn't he experience 'whatever' with her?

“Please, I need this, and then after it's smooth sailing,” He promised, his voice soothing. But it wasn't working this time. After dealing with his little infatuations over the past few years, she'd become hardened to that voice.

“On one condition.”

He'd never agree, he was by far too possessive.

“What, Kagome? What do you want?”

He looked so hopeful, it made her even more angry. It made her want to hurt him.

“I get to do it too.”

His eyes hardened, the intense burnished gold becoming a cold copper. He was not pleased with her demand, and she only barely managed to keep her smirk mental, her lips fighting to stay in their frown.


“What's good for the goose is good for the gander,” She quipped smartly, standing and walking away from her little kitchen table, one that had seen countless dinners between them. She was almost to her couch when she stopped, his words sending a chill running down her spine.

“Fine, not like you'll go through with it,” He muttered.

He strode past her, grabbing his suit jacket from the back of her couch without even looking at her. The door to her apartment slammed behind him, leaving her alone.

She sunk to the couch, head cradled in her hands.

“He was supposed to say no,” She groaned, all of her anger at him abruptly turning on her.



She stared at the computer screen, feeling something between mortified and ashamed as she stared at the checklist. Her test results had gone to the small company, and they'd emailed her to tell her that she had been approved. The next step was to log in with her new anonymous screen name and password, and she could create a fantasy profile of sorts to be matched against others.

The list of kinks and fetishes was endless. From the beginning with abduction (she really hoped that didn't mean what she thought it did) to zentai (which she had no idea about) all of them were more bewildering than the last. There was little she would consider 'normal'.

Is that what her boyfriend had wanted, something strange? What if he was into abduction, or the more frighteningly named asphyxiphilia? What is if was something else even more ominous sounding?

“I don't even know what most of these mean,” She groaned, leaning back in her computer chair, her hands covering her flaming face. How was she supposed to go through with it when she didn't even know what to choose, when she couldn't even look at the damnable list without blushing like a schoolgirl.

“Okay Kagome, you've been to college. You've have your fair share of fun,” She told herself, although she knew it was a lie. Most girls had experimented with either each other or other guys, or both. She'd stayed a virgin until meeting Inu Yasha. One awkward drunk girl kiss with her best friend did not count as experimenting.

“What I wouldn't give to be-” She stopped, her thoughts trailing to her most perverted friend.

Biting a nail, she looked to her cell phone, sitting innocently next to the computer. Shrugging her shoulders, she picked the phone up and scrolled down the list, finding his within moments. Breathless, she hit the call button and held the phone to her ear, waiting for an answer.

“Kagome, hello!” His cheerful voice greeted. “What can I do for you?”

“Are you busy?” She asked.

“Never too busy for my best gal,” He replied in an overly bright tone, making her hope he was alone.

“What do you know about fetishes?” She asked bluntly. Loud cursing, the screeching of tires and three different car horns answered her.

“Fetishes? Kagome, may I ask-”

“Inu Yasha and I are- spicing up our sex life, and I'm looking at this list, but I have no idea what it means,” She said, flinching at the half lie. She was trying to save her relationship, hopefully the gods would forgive her the one.

“Well, start going down the list,” He offered, voice cracking, as if he was trying to hold in laughter. Feeling like a child in the face of a parent's all knowing wisdom, she reminded herself that Miroku's level of perversity and curiosity were not normal, and it was only Sango's temper that kept him in check.


“Exactly what it sounds like, kidnap, possibly rape play-”

“Nevermind,” She muttered, immediately going to the next. She couldn't even say the next several aloud.

'Anal, anal beads, anal stretching?' She thought incredulously. There was no way she could ask about those sorts of things.


“You'd never fit the bill, you look too feminine,” He chuckled.

Well there went that, not that she wasn't grateful.

“Anonymous encounters?”

“That's normally between two people who have never met, and never will again. They don't know each other, they don't trade names, that sort of thing. You and Inu Yasha could role play it, I suppose,” He offered helpfully.

She did not want to know what artistic cutting, ass play, or ass worship were all about.


“Being turned on by sounds of certain types, even if it's the sound of sex itself.”

Not her thing. Inu Yasha's grunts and groans were not sexy in the least. And she couldn't think of anything else sound wise that really turned her on. Maybe it was just for some people.

'Like ass worship,' She thought sourly.

The list went on, in alphabetical order, until they got to C, because she couldn't take any more of the humiliation. Her own ignorance burned, and having to ask her friend about it only made the experience worse.

“Thanks Miroku,” She sighed. A gusty breath exhaled came from his end of the line, crackling slightly in the phone.

“You know Kagome, if he's pushing you into an area you're not comfortable with-”

“It's not pushing,” She lied. Because that's exactly what it was, just not how the ultra perverted lawyer thought. “We're exploring.”

“Well, just remember to be safe and say no if it's something you're not okay with. Some people are different than others. It's okay to not be into something.”

“I know,” She assured him, glad he couldn't see her fiddling with her hair. It was her little gesture that gave away lies, and right now she could not let her friends know that her boyfriend was forcing her into...whatever it was.

“Well, goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Give Sango a hug for me.”

“I will.”

The phone went silent, and she closed it, looking back to the list.

Anonymous encounters, because she never wanted to see the person again. Blindfolds, because she was positive she didn't want to see their face. Caressing, because she wanted someone nice, especially after reading some of the other options. She was checking everything else off as automatic no's, when she hovered over 'cunnilingus'.

Inu Yasha hated doing it, and the few times he had had been lackluster. But she'd always imagined...

“You know what, if I'm going to do it, I might as well enjoy it,” She muttered, clicking on the 'yes' box before scrolling through with more no's.

After submitting her profile, only a dozen matches came up, making her wonder how perverse people really were.

Deciding to grab a glass of wine, she looked at the bottle on the counter, then at the glass next to it, and shrugged angrily. Grabbing the bottle by the neck, she plopped down into her comfy computer chair and looked at the profiles that matched her own.

The first one was a woman, immediately striking it from her list. The next was a man in his sixties, a definite no.

No. No. No, no and no. For each no, she took another swig of the red wine, ignoring the guilt at drinking an eighty dollar bottle of wine like it was soda.

The ninth profile was a possibility. He had other curiosities, other kinks, but they were not musts. After checking the last few and finding them to be unsuitable in their wants, she came back to his and considered the checked boxes.

Dominant, which wouldn't be awful, she reasoned, because he wasn't into a lot of the frightening things on the list. In fact, most of the boxes had not been checked, which she found strange. Maybe he hadn't gone through them all, or something. But someone would have to initiate the whole thing, and it certainly wasn't going to be her.

Another deep pull from the wine bottle and she leaned back, blue eyes glittering as they took in the information on the monitor.

Dominant. Blindfolds were checked. Auralism too, which she found strange. What kind of sounds would turn someone on? Anal was checked, but maybe they could work around it. More importantly, that one little box, the one her eyes had been avoiding, was checked with yes.


Another swig of wine, and she tipped the bottle back.

“I can't believe I'm doing this,” She gasped after pulling the bottle from her mouth, inhaling deeply around the smokey sharpness of the red wine.

She clicked the little button that signaled her interest.

There was no undoing it, even though -for a panicked moment- she looked for one.

A sort of giddy fear came then, mixing strangely with the alcohol already warming her.

She'd done it. Inu Yasha had been reluctant, but had let her only because he wanted his own little fantasy so badly. She'd done something that would make him angry. Hell, he might even back out when she told him she'd found a profile that interested her, that she'd contacted someone, however indirectly.

Then nervousness set in. She'd openly and very willingly done something Inu Yasha had obviously not wanted her to do.

But, the small voice in her head argued, the demon on her left shoulder whispering angrily, hadn't he been doing the same thing. She'd resisted his demands for a visit to the little company's building ever since he'd brought it up. Until the engagement talk.

Which, that voice continued, was blackmail. Two wrongs may not make a right, but they could circumvent a much bigger wrong.

Maybe the man would see her profile and she wouldn't be what he was looking for. Maybe she was too restrained, too vanilla.

A ding sounded. Confused and slightly disoriented from the wine, she looked at her screen. A little red sign had popped up in the top corner of the browser.


Maybe somebody had seen her profile and was curious. Clicking on it, she prayed it wasn't a woman, or the geriatric sex fiend.

It wasn't. It was in fact, the man she'd just been thinking about.

“I am interested as well,” She breathed, eyes widening as she looked at the simple statement. “When would you like to schedule a meeting?”

“I'm not sure,” She said aloud as she tried to type. The keys were becoming increasingly unmanageable, resisting her attempts to keep them in place. The send button was thankfully still, although her mouse danced on the screen, making her shake it twice before settling down.

Two seconds later, another response.

'You seem very new.'

“I am,” She muttered. Drunkenly she admitted to part of the situation, saying only that she and her husband were both looking at fantasies, and had agreed to go. Which was only partially a lie.

'Is he there with you now?'

“No,” She groaned aloud, typing the word and sending it while taking another swig from her wine bottle. Speaking to the person on the profile was surreal. She hadn't even expected it to go that far. Inu Yasha was supposed to find out and freak.

The little devil on her shoulder snickered, and pointed out only that if she had actual conversation logs with this mysterious stranger, Inu Yasha would understand all the more that she would go through with it, and put an end to the whole thing.

'What most do you want from an encounter?'

She flushed hotly. How was she supposed to admit to that? And to someone she didn't know?

Then again, she didn't know him, and if her plan followed her logic, she never would. Inu Yasha was notoriously possessive. He would never let her go through with it.

'Cunnilingus, and the blindfold.'

She couldn't even say the words aloud as she typed them, although they were burning her tongue. Another swig from the bottle, and it was empty.

A little ding. He'd replied.

'Find something to blindfold yourself with, a scarf or a tie. Lay down, imagine your fantasy. If you do, I will agree to fulfill it. Goodnight.'

She didn't even bother to message him back, because the suggestion was just...just...


Which was not the word that should have come to mind. It should be preposterous, because it wasn't even a fantasy. It was just some stupid plan, and she was actually considering doing what a complete and utter stranger was telling her to do. Which was beyond crazy.

But tempting.

She exited out of her browser and stood abruptly, needing to get away from it. Needing to get away from the-whatever it was.

Listing, she stumbled down the hall and to her bedroom, immediately throwing herself on the bed.

Inu Yasha would stop it before it could happen. Of course he would. There was no point in trying.

Except that there kind of was. Even if -when, she muttered aloud, a reprimand for where her thoughts unconsciously went- Inu Yasha stopped it, there was no reason she couldn't fantasize a little. After all, Inu Yasha had obviously been doing it, and it wasn't as if she was fantasizing about someone else. She could even fantasize about her boyfriend. No harm, no foul. It would be just that, fantasizing.

Drunkenly she propped herself up and stared at her vanity. Several of her scarves lay on the lightly stained oak, an innocent pile all the more strange to her because of it's lightness. Pinks, blues, greens and purples. Not a black one among them. Not a one that would suit her purpose.

“Who is there to see?” She demanded of no one in particular, crawling across her bed and reaching to her vanity. Her fingers lit on a dark green one, and immediately she grabbed it, pulling away from the vanity and relaxing back onto the bed. The green silk scarf fluttered as she waved her arm back and forth.

It couldn't hurt, right?

Nervously, she tied the scarf over her eyes, knotting it behind her hair. When she finished, she let her arms fall at her sides and stared at the dark green over her eyes. After several minutes she felt silly, almost childish.

It occurred to her that she'd never fantasized intentionally before, and she had no idea got to go about it.

“Close your eyes,” She commanded herself, forcing them to close. Darkness took over.

She was on her bed, but there was something lacking. Impatiently she pulled her pants off, then shrugged her shirt over her head. He wouldn't be able to do anything to her in her unsexy pajamas, would he?

The comforter was infinitely soft beneath her back, letting her relax into it's folds.

His hands would be rough, and move over her belly, she reasoned. They'd start at her stomach, and they'd be warm. Her hands smoothed over the expanse of exposed flesh, and she ignored their smallness, their smoothness, imagining large, callused hands. They'd move up her sides, following the dips and swells of her curves.

His lips would be warm on her chin first, her nose, then her lips.

She could feel his warm weight hovering over her, his knees on either side of her legs as she let her hands wander lightly over her breasts. His hands were so warm, so strong as they traced the lines of her lacy blue bra. Soft lips kissed down her neck, finding that spot, the one that sent shivers through her as she tilted her head back for more. A sinfully hot tongue darted out, teased the spot with a pointed tip.

She groaned, hips twitching as his mouth traveled lower. Her bra came down, and hands were palming them, rolling the sensitive nipples between strong fingers. Her blood moved sluggishly through her body, warm and pulsing. In the darkness of the blindfold, her lover was a blank figure, a myserious stranger, anyone, as he continued kissing down her body, hands leaving her breasts to remove her panties. Nails skittered over her hips, and her legs spread wider, hips tilting up to offer herself.

“Please,” she panted, hands moving to the slick wetness between her thighs.

His tongue was so much hotter as it moved up and down her slit, parted the hot folds, circled her clit in ever tightening circles. He nipped lightly and sucked it into his mouth, tongue lashing at it mercilessly.

Given no other choice, she came, screaming her release as wetness seeped over her fingertips.

For several minutes, she lay there, dazed and drunk on both wine and her orgasm, the two mixing so well she couldn't help but smile, eyes still closed. His weight was still there, still warm between her legs. So real was the warmth, that she faded into it, let it cover her and blanket her as she drifted off to sleep.


When she woke, she had a small, buzzing headache and something strange obstructing her eyes. Groaning, she pulled the scarf from over her head and leaned forward, immediately wondering how she had gotten to bed the night before.

Her hand was in her panties, and she was wearing a scarf as a blindfold.

Her breath reeked.

“Oh kami,” She groaned, falling onto the bed with a thump and regretting the action immediately, the vibrations jostling unpleasantly in her head.

The only blessing was that Inu Yasha had not come in and found her like this. At least she hoped he hadn't. Sitting up again, she threw the scarf to the side, not caring where it landed, and stood, feeling the slightest bit dizzy as she did. Ignoring the fact that she'd left the light on all night, she turned it off behind her as she stumbled into the hall, still in nothing but her panties and bra, which she straightened as she walked.

Her monitor was still on, although the browser was thankfully off. And no Inu Yasha in sight.

As she sat down, she checked her phone. No new messages, no missed calls. So he hadn't come by, he usually called to let her know.

Almost reluctantly she opened up her browser and typed in the name of the website. After logging in, she saw the bright red notification. Messages. Or message, as the case turned out to be.

From her...whatever it was.

'I am curious, did you do as I asked?'

Oh, how to answer that. The logic of the night before had been so much simpler, so much...drunker.

“It's not like he's ever going to meet you, Kagome,” She admonished. “Besides, you if Inu Yasha actually wants to look at these, you just tell him it was about him.”

Even though it hadn't been, which was the problem. Or one of them anyway. The other one was that she was writing to a stranger, basically admitting to-to masturbating!

“I'll tell him I lied to the guy,” She muttered. After all, one white lie to save her relationship wouldn't be so bad. It was only masturbation. Lots of women thought about other guys when they masturbated, and she hadn't even pictured anyone. It could have been her boyfriend.

Except Inu Yasha didn't take his time with her like that, didn't kiss and lick the spots that made her shudder or her toes curl at the very memory.

'Yes,' She typed determinedly, hands clattering heavily on the three keys. Clicking the send button before she could back out, she stared at the screen.

There was a finality in the admission. Either way, there was no going back on her plan. If Inu Yasha saw it, he'd stop it.

He had to.


I firmly hold that this is all R0o's fault, because of the first GM challenge I entered. Smut has been having it's wicked way with my brain. As for Kagome's discomfort with the list, if I offended anyone, I'm sorry, none was meant. But I loaned a friend a copy of a book with such a list in it when she expressed interest in kink, and her reaction was very similar, and I was essentially the Miroku. This was going to be an ABC sort of exploration of the kinkier side of sex, but it changed while I was writing it, however...So much smut to come (that pun was not intentional, as it would be awful). Anywho. Just review and let me know what you think.


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