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Playboy by The Hatter Theory



By: The Hatter Theory

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha and co. I'm just obeying the whims of my deranged muses for our -hopefully- mutual amusement.


Kagome stumbled into the spa, her friends pushing her forward. Cheeks aflame, she looked at the black glass desk and saw the bored looking receptionist take note, her black clothing contrasting sharply with the bright white surroundings.

“Hello,” The woman greeted, her smile forced.

“Go on Kagome,” Yuka urged, pushing her forward again.

“Can't I just do a different penalty?” Kagome whined as she was pushed closer and closer to the desk. “I'll do anything.”

“The only other penalty we'll give is going to pick up a prostitute,” Eri joked as they got her to the desk. Muttering darkly under her breath about cruel friends, she looked at the receptionist blankly.

“Can I help you?” The woman asked after a minute of silence.

“She would like to inquire about your waxing services,” Ayumi chirped brightly.

“First time?” The receptionist asked with a smirk.

“For this kind it is,” Kagome mumbled, mortification making her whole face flame.

“And what kind would that be?”

Kagome had a feeling that somehow the receptionist knew and was enjoying her shame.

“A, umm, hollywood,” Kagome whispered into the suddenly echoing silence. It was the least offensive name she could find online. Any of the others probably wouldn't have made it past her lips.

“Oh, that's one of our most popular services. Don't worry, you'll be fine. That will be 6,500 yen,” The amused woman said, chuckling when Kagome's eyes widened in shock and her face paled considerably, the blush disappearing completely.

“T-that much?” Kagome whimpered.

“That's normal, Kagome,” Ayumi muttered, already taking the other girl's wallet from her bag. Kagome sputtered and tried to grab for the wallet, then gave up as Ayumi presented the cash to the receptionist.

“I'll see who we have available. Please go take a seat and we'll be with you shortly.”

Shock was setting in, and Kagome felt numb as her friends guided her to a chair. They offered advice and told her if she had only asked the strange man out the night before she wouldn't be dealing with this.

'Asking out a stranger? No way. He could have been an ax murderer or a rapist or an accountant or something,' She thought with distaste as she recalled the man from the night before. He had been attractive enough in a boyish way. Her friends had only been trying to help, seeing as how she hadn't had a single date since her return from the feudal era. Men of her era just weren't interesting. All of them lacked that... Something. Whatever it was made them unappealing and dull.

The other girls had announced a penalty, and she had brushed it off. After all, after a good night's rest and some distance, they wouldn't make her go through with it. Besides, it was so outlandish she had thought they were half joking anyway.

'Most expensive penalty ever,' She thought dourly, remembering the banknotes Ayumi had blithely handed the receptionist.

“Do you want us to go with you?” Eri asked, voice breaking through the angry cloud she had surrounded herself with.

“No,” Kagome growled, not caring if the others were offended. The whole situation was ridiculous, and she would be damned if they came back to watch her stripping down to have that waxed! If things weren't bad enough, they began talking about how amazing she would look in a bikini once it was done.

'It's just waxing,' She told herself, ignoring the 'helpful' advice of her friends. Waxing her legs was simple enough, and she even made her own sugar wax at home. In fact, she waxed every part of herself except the area in question. That particular spot hadn't been an issue because no one ever saw it except herself.

'Now it will be two people,' She muttered angrily inside her head. Reasoning with herself, she knew that the technician, whoever it was, did their job to hundreds of women, and maybe some men. She wouldn't be anything special, and it would probably be quick, if not easy and painless.

'Don't make this any harder than it is, it's just a wax.'

“Ma'am, Tanaka is ready to see you, please follow me,” The receptionist told her, making her jump slightly. When had the woman gotten next to her? Shooting a glare at her still seated friends, she stood and began following the woman down the long white hall. They turned twice, surprising Kagome with the size of the building itself. They passed over a dozen doors before the woman paused in front of one and smiled warmly.

“Tanaka is one of our best. Just relax,” She advised.

'Just a wax, just a wax, justawaxjustawaxjustawax,' Kagome repeated over and over, heartbeat speeding up. Hoping it was just her imagination that had it echoing in the hallway, Kagome nodded once, trying to swallow past the fist sized lump in her throat. The receptionist smiled and opened the door, then walked away.

Kagome stepped in, and every alarm in her head began going off, and she imagined red lights flashing their warning.

'Youkai. Oh kami. Youkai. It's a youkai!' She screamed internally, eyes wide as she stared at the back of the waxing technician.

“Remove your pants and underwear,” He rumbled, not even bothering to look at her.

Memories of youkai with acidic poison that had destroyed her hair and clothing flashed through her head, making her dizzy.

'He's not going to burn it off, is he?'

Panic warred with her overwhelming desire to pretend she didn't notice. But the overpowering feel of his youki buffeted at her senses, making her tremble as she unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs.

'Just a wax. He won't do anything youkai-like. Just a wax,' She began, repeating the mantra in her head over and over as she took off her panties and set her clothing on the chair in the corner.

“On the table.”

He still wasn't looking at her. That made it slightly easier. Hopping up onto the table and feeling like she was at her gynecologists office, she looked for stirrups. Finding none, she relaxed slightly. At least it wouldn't be that invasive. Although the paper wrinkling under her bare bottom did nothing to sooth her already frazzled nerves, crumpling beneath her bottom as she adjusted herself.

“Lay down.”

Silently applauding him for his professionalism, she laid down on the table and covered her face with her hands. Her heart was still beating a frantic tattoo in her chest and her stomach roiled dangerously. As a youkai, he had to be able to hear it, even if his senses weren't as sharp as Inu Yasha's had been. Yet he said nothing, and she prayed he wrote it off to a fear of what was about to happen.

Her legs were suddenly spread apart, the hands cold and impersonal. Holding in a whimper, she bit her tongue and told herself she could do it.

'Just a wax, just a wax.'

Memories of her hair getting an impromptu haircut from a youkai's acid did nothing to quell the nausea threatening to make her vomit. Yelping when something warm smoothed over her pubic mound, the technician made a rude noise in the back of his throat.

“Be still.”

'The best, yeah,' She muttered in the privacy of her own head as more wax was smoothed over the hair. Within moments a strip was being placed over it, and he smoothed it down several times.

“Do you want warning?” He asked. She still couldn't look at him, and from behind her hands she shook her head. Warning would give her time to flinch, to panic. To beg for some sort of solution to dissolve the wax on her groin and leave.


She inhaled deeply, choking on the scream that was begging for release. Settling for slamming her legs together, she wasn't fazed by the small whimpers escaping from deep in her throat as the pain radiated throughout her pubic area. Pressing her hands closer to her face, she exhaled when she was certain the scream wouldn't escape.

“Do you wish to continue?” The voice asked.

'NO! I'd rather have acid poured on it!' She screamed in her own head even as she forced her legs back open. At least the acid would do it's work more quickly and have the added bonus of sending her into shock.

More warm wax, this time lower and she mentally prepared herself. The lower he got, the more sensitive she was to the heat. Whimpering again as he applied another strip, she began having uncharitable thoughts about her best friends and train accidents.


A scream echoed in the small room and she flew forward, eyes wide and hands gripping the edge of the table hard enough to leave holes in the foam covered surface from her nails.

Gold eyes stared back at her in shock.

“Sesshoumaru?” She gasped, shock of seeing the daiyoukai completely separating her mind from the pain in her groin.

“I thought I recognized you. Your powers are still untrained,” He muttered, stepping back. Gone was the short black hair and tan skin of her race, replaced with white hair cropped short and fair skin marked by stripes.

“You-you,” She stuttered, mind blanking. “What the hell are you doing?” She shouted, jumping from the table, and covering her crotch and bottom as she moved for her clothes. “Turn around!” She shouted at him angrily.

“It is nothing I haven't seen,” He rumbled, visage flickering before settling on his disguise. One again his hair was dark and his skin dark and unmarked.

“I don't care, turn around!” She shouted at him, using her clothes to cover her groin. He refused and she huffed indignantly, backing towards the door. When he did nothing but watch, her hand reached for the knob and she slipped out, eyes still fixed on his smirk.

Slamming it, she dropped her pants and pulled on her panties, looking up and down the hall to make sure no one else was around.

The door opened and he looked down at her, still smirking.

“What?” She demanded.

“No tip?” He asked in a light tone, dark eyes glinting as he watched her struggle to get her leg into her jeans. With one last withering glare she spun around and began her less than graceful getaway.

Half walking, half hopping down the hall to get away from him she struggled to get her other foot through the leg of her pants. Not even caring if anyone saw her anymore, she ignored that she had left her shoes back in the small room. Pain began filtering through the shock, making it even more difficult to struggle with her jeans. By the time she reached the waiting area, by some miracle her pants were on and she was zipping them, ignoring the ache in her bikini area.

“Kagome, that was fast-” Ayumi began, stopping when Kagome snatched her purse and stalked, barefoot, out of the building. Her three friends shrugged helplessly and stood to follow.

“Wait,” A voice commanded, and they stopped, eyes popping at the sight of the gorgeous man. He was holding a pair of sandals. “She forgot these.” He handed them off to Eri before gliding gracefully away.

“I would have been nervous to have him between my legs too,” Ayumi observed, unable to take her eyes from the slightly swaying posterior. Her two friends nodded dumbly.

“Maybe we should get his number,” Eri said aloud. “For Kagome of course,” She added thickly. Strangely, the technician turned and began walking back towards them. With a predatory smile, he pulled a card from his pocket.

“I like to finish what I start,” He fairly purred before handing them his card.

“W-would you like her number?” Eri squeaked.

“I would find that most acceptable,” He rumbled in a low tone. Yuka stammered out her friend's cell phone number, face red as he input it into his own phone. He walked off without so much as a thank you, his card somehow magically back in his hands. The sleek thin black cellphone was already at his ear.

Unbeknownst to the three young women, he was smirking as the phone rang.

“Hello?” A voice ground out, forcefully cheerful.

“I had not thought you a coward,” He answered, forgoing a greeting.

“You! How did you get my phone number?”

“Your friends were only too eager to give it to me.”

Snippets of dark muttering and existential questions came through the line, and he felt rather proud of himself.

“Why are you doing this?” She groaned, exasperation evident.

“I never leave a job unfinished,” He replied smoothly. “And you did pay the fee.”

“Argh, I-”

“Besides, you must be feeling rather unbalanced right now.”

“I hate you,” She muttered.

“But you are coming back?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“Fine!” She bit out. “I should ask for a different technician.”

“I am the only one available for such a service today,” He added with a wicked grin she couldn't see.


“Hardly, but you may ask the receptionist once you arrive.”

With that he ended the call and stretched his arms over his head, smiling to himself. The miko showing up in his spa was going to make for an unprecedented treat. His half brother, stubborn pest that he was, still searched for the girl. Being able to brag about getting to her most intimate areas first would certainly prove to be entertaining, no matter what capacity it happened in. Not to mention the added bonus of mortifying her.

If he were truly lucky, she would meet with the hanyou and be too shamed to come near him ever again, hopefully serving to cut off contact between himself and the half breed. With that cheery thought in mind, he whistled tunelessly as he walked to the waxing room.


A/N: I'm working on another fic for the oddjobs challenge and this one sprang to mind while my boyo was waxing the back of my legs. There are several names for a brazilian wax, including playboy, full monty, and hollywood. The amount of yen Kagome spends is roughly $85, which is the higher end of what they run in the states.

And no, I have no idea why he is a waxing technician. It was just a randumb idea.


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