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This Is How You Were by tearsofacrescent

Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha, Rumiko does. However, Akin, Sarra, Boshin and whoever is created and not under her copyright are mine for my personal use.

Please enjoy the story.

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Kagome slipped outside of her home, into the afternoon air with a minor thought that this place, once somewhere she never thought to leave so often, was becoming like a hotel. When she returned after months of travel it was only for three days at the most and everything that was familiar had become foreign, but also heaven.

Like baths for example, not in springs with insects and fungi, but clean tile and hot, clear water accompanied by soap scrubbers, a shower head to wash her hair with ease and all the privacy she could ask for. And soft covers, pillows and mattresses! She'd missed them so much, just as much as she missed her mothers cooking skills. Life here was luxurious and still somehow beautiful, even without all of the greenery.

But no matter how much she loved it, every three days a very irritated Inuyasha would await her return impatiently. Of course he thought she shouldn't go home at all, but eventually he learned to accept at least two and a half days. It had taken a long while for him to achieve the patience, but with some help from Sango, Miroku and Shippo the impossible happened. "Mom," Kagome called, standing up with her pack in hand. It was again filled with the many items that were an absolute necessity in the feudal era. "I'm heading back!"

Sota came around the corner, eyes a bit large and his grandfather came directly after. Time seemed to fly by so quickly when she was home so she understood the feeling of surprise really easily. Plus… this was a special sort of day… A small smile graced her lips as her mother rounded a different corner. "Oh," Mrs. Higurashi smiled just as brightly as the sun. "Well take care dear, tell Inuyasha hello for me."

"Alright, I will. I love you guys, bye!" With her pack over her shoulder she opened the front door and stepped out.

"Bye sis!" Sota shouted, wanting to run after her but knowing better.

"Good luck Kagome, remember the hand of that water kappa will keep you safe on your journey!" The exact present landed at his feet with a thud. It's stench filling the room immediately. "Now you have no luck you silly girl." He said, shaking the hand back and forth in the air as he ran toward the door.

The old man was still rather fast for his age, so Kagome ducked away quickly. The two remaining family members just stared out of the door for a moment and then returned to their usual routine. Well, one did. Instead, Kagome's younger brother fidgeted around, wondering if this would be okay. Could he ask?

"Mom?" Sota came to stand beside the tall woman who really didn't look her age, but was getting much closer to it ever since her daughter traveled between times. She put up a wondrous front, but she still worried about her daughter who was growing up in the dark ages of their country.

"Hm?" She asked, still focusing quietly on the task before her.

"How come I can't say goodbye to Kagome at the well house yet?" He figured he knew the answer, but he couldn't be entirely sure so asking wouldn't hurt so long as his sister wasn't home.

"Kagome's still worried about the last times incident repeating." She answered without looking at him. Her voice was kind but the short answer was also a warning. It wasn't only Kagome he had frightened that day.

Flash Back

"Bye mom, Sota, gramps; I'll see you in about a month!" She said as she hoisted her legs over the lip of the aging wood. Shuffling grew pronounced behind her and she thought she heard her mother gasp before something crashed into her, sending both falling into the well.

The blue light engulfed her and whatever it was which held on for dear life. Kagome looked down quickly, out of fear. Could the centipede have come back for her somehow? Her heart pounded loudly, chills running through her for a moment. Until she saw that is. "Sota!"

His brown eyes glanced up at her, a little too innocent. "Hey Kagome…" He said, laughing nervously for a second as the blue shifted into something more stable, actual time. "I uh… thought I'd come say hi to Inuyasha…"

"You brat! Do you have ANY idea what so ever where you are?" Her voice had raised quite a few octaves, shrieking with the depth of her anger.

"Yeah, I'm in the past." He answered, quickly climbing from the well by using the same vines Kagome had held to quite a few times.

The air was so much cleaner; it was like his body couldn't get enough of it. And the sun looked brighter here, but also less threatening. "Wow…" He murmured with wide eyes as the trees height surprised him. They looked as though they reached the sky.

Kagome pushed him up and out so he landed with a very loud thud. "Hey!" He said, angry from the slight pain that being in Sengiku Judea gave him.

"Hey yourself!" She growled, pulling him up by his shirt collar. "Sota Akien Higurashi, what do you think you are doing?"

At first he seemed only a little abashed and somewhat annoyed at all her shouting. His mouth opened, to say some retort. But his expression changed, fear fairly pronounced. "Ka-Kagome…" He stuttered, sheer terror etching every syllable.

"That's right, you better be scared!" She inched closer to him, releasing his shirt so she could poke his chest. "You could get hurt here, even possibly get eaten by a…"

"De-demon…" He stammered in a squeaky voice, stepping back and eyes enlarging if it were possible.

"Exactly Sota, they'll chew you up and spit you out. You wouldn't last ten seconds out here…" Her brother screamed so high pitch she couldn't be sure what he said, which finally made her turn.

Not just one demon, Sota had miscalculated. It was a hoard of them, though only one was running at her. She cried out too, ducking and pulling Sota with her to the fields' floor as it swiped. Its slimy body missed her by mere centimeters. Her brother clung to her, terror gripping him. "Run Sota, go get Inuyasha!" Pushing her brother up with a little force she sent him reeling in the direction of the village.

He turned to object as she reached for her bow and arrows and was even more terrified than before, just as she was. That weapon was in the village, her mom hadn't wanted her to bring them to her era which meant she was now unguarded here. "Sota," She hissed, standing in front of him as blood pounded in her ears from adrenaline. "I told you to run."

"I can't leave you." He said and swore he wouldn't, though his voice broke with fear. Kagome was his sister, he had to save her.

"If you don't, we will both die." Her voice left little room to argue. "You have to get Inuyasha, now! Or it'll be too late."

"But…" His feet started to slide backward, unsure.

"Go!" She screamed, actually turning to him, even as the demons approached. He turned heel and ran without another thought.

As he ran, he stopped because of something he heard behind him just as he saw a flash of white from the corner of his eyes. It sounded like Kagome screamed, but there was no longer any growling or hissing. His instincts also told him not to fetch Inuyasha just yet and maybe that was because Inuyasha was actually with Kagome. So Sota quietly tiptoed behind a tree and seen someone tall standing before his sister with white hair, whiter than whom he had first perceived it to be. He had almost the same eyes and some funny marking, with fur over his shoulder. "Sesshoumaru…" Kagome muttered in surprise and terror.

She quickly regained herself by shaking from her daze. "What do you want, Inuyasha's Tetsuiga?" The demon stayed quiet, watching her with a strange look to his eyes. He seemed to expect something, but what was he waiting for? Did he want her to go get it for him or something? "I know you didn't save me because you just wanted to, you hate humans!" She growled in agitation before realizing a mistake. "You're not dealing with Inuyasha Kagome... Calm down…" She whispered to herself, panicked.

The demon lord stayed silent a moment longer, seeming to realize something. "You shall know soon enough, Kagome." The miko gasped, taking a step back, but he was already turned and walking into the darkness of the forest. Her name, he had said her name…He'd never directly spoke to her… How weird…

"He was kind of cool." The girl shrieked for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Sota stepped back, looking a little nervous.

"Sota…?" She asked, glaring down at him in suspicion. "Where's Inuyasha?"

"Uh… I didn't go get him…" He murmured, backing away slowly. Her gaze held a promise of death as she lunged for him. He leapt into the well and she came not a second after, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt as they fell into the blue light.

End of flashback

"Yeah… that didn't go over well did it?" He asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head as a reminder of the knot his sister gave him asserted itself.

Kagome approached the well house doors with a steady pace, not wanting to return yet. Knowing she had to, it's what made her keep walking, walking to a not so fun filled day. Inuyasha would insist on arguing about how slow she was because of her inferiority and so she would sit him. They'd argue, sit, argue, sit and then ready for bed, but not without one last sit because of some stupid insult.

And it was her birthday today, she'd be sixteen. It was the one year anniversary of the day she met Inuyasha, which was only two days away from another one year anniversary. The one that everyone dreaded; the day the Shikon no Tama was shattered because of her carelessness. The well house doors opened and closed with a slight creek, just as the steps moaned as she traveled down them.

Her fingers traced the aging wood while she gazed into the black, listless depths. Kagome loved Inuyasha, more than anything, but did she really want him to ruin her birthday? It was probably too much to ask for a normal day in the Feudal Era, but it might not be if she stayed here. If she stayed home, took just one more day for herself, then she might feel all the better for it.

She bit her lip, considering her options carefully and pulled at her back pack's yellow straps. What to do? Be responsible or skip a day? It would just be one day, only one. How much could that hurt? Besides, he could yell at her all he wanted, it would be worth it after she had her mothers cake and Odin.

Oh she could taste it now, even smell it. Her mouth watered and her already full stomach growled. It was settled, Odin here she came! "He'll just have to come and get me!" Turning from the well and stretching, Kagome smiled and planned the rest of her day.

After surprising her mother and family she would take another long bath, read a book maybe and help her mom prepare dinner. Afterward she would rewrap the presents she opened earlier just to open them over again and then sleep until eleven tomorrow morning. Perfect! So long as he didn't show up to get her…

"Meow!" Kagome screeched as Buyo rubbed against her legs, yowling just as loudly as she had.

The priestess backed up instinctively and her pack, making her top heavy, pulled her into the depths of the well where her head banged against the walling, dinting the wood. Blackness swam around her as the well exuded a strange blue and purple mingled light.

She felt as though she'd been falling forever and a day, even once still, she just kept falling endlessly in the deepest regions of her mind. Nothing seemed to shake her out of the coma she was held fast in. Not the strong arms that lifted her from the watery depths of this not so dry well, not the urgent shaking and whispering or the probing hands that felt of the not so gentle wound on her scalp.

The long journey through day and night never reached her, not even thought or dream could. A fierce growling and ripping that tore apart a small field she lay in with a cloak covering her shivering body never roused her. Rain had no claim to her unconscious body and the thick armor that taped her shoulder, bruising it, had none either.

A sweet feminine voice humming with some severity and worry couldn't touch where she was in that dark but relieving place. Other hands, touching and checking could only earn fear of her fever. The water that she'd been found in had taken its toll, she was ill. More blankets, more warmth, herbs and still she never roused.

But five days after her body laid in hibernation for the final time, with no one carrying her for miles on end, strange voices cracked something. And a familiar tenor sent a very real fear deep in her stomach. Her fingers twitched and a foreign voice grew excited. She searched for the familiar voice, directly over her as it spoke like a fast winding silk. Her blue eyes blurred as she opened them, focusing after a long moment.

Amber eyes, confused and annoyed watched her coolly. Something bubbled in her throat, completely terrified and disoriented. Kagome struggled away from the covers that held her, tripping a little and swaying as she backed up to a wall, nearly seeming to claw through it. "Sesshoumaru!" She hissed, still terrified. "You keep away from me!" She said, pointing at him with her index finger as he stood abruptly. He slowed down, still watching, perplexed. "Where's Inuyasha? What did you do to him?"

Her head spun and she slid to the ground slowly as a female demon came to her, shushing her. Kagome didn't like this at all, this wasn't right. Where was she? Where was Inuyasha? Again she tried to stand; she had to find him, but strong arms held her firmly in place.

She looked up then, past who held her, mistaking where the head of the one holding her should be. Something stilled in her, shock. "Inu-no-Tashio?" She asked, confused. He nodded slowly; Sesshoumaru stood only a foot or so behind him. "Oh Kami, I must be dead."

All three demons, the woman, Sesshoumaru and his father, looked to one another in confusion. The demon lord stepped forward, bending a little so as not to frighten her more with his size. "Young woman, what is your name and where do you call home?" He spoke slowly, she had only just awoken from coma, and she may not be entirely coherent.

"I'm Kagome and I live in Tokyo…" They all stared in confusion as she murmured, eyes dropping a little as her head lolled. It hurt so badly and she felt so dizzy! Running her fingers through her hair she felt something wet as her nails scrapped over a harder surface in her hair. Pulling her hand away to investigate, she stared. "There's blood on my hand." Her words were calm, but it was obvious she hadn't made a connection.

"How very perceptive of you, human." Sesshoumaru said, bored with her new turn. Kagome stopped breathing when she heard his voice and once she seen him, a part of her thought it never would be possible to do so again.

"Sesshoumaru, don't be cruel to the poor child. Something terrible must have happened to her." He eyed his mother warily at hearing the strict tone. It would be better if he left, he knew it and so he did. But not without a backward glance at the strange girl in their presence.

Sesshoumaru's mother shook her head slightly, her white hair swishing with the sudden, but slow movement. She looked to her husband with deep, violet eyes and smiled. Her pale skin seemed to brighten along with the gesture. A blue crescent mingled with one that was the color of ebony. Two strips upon her cheeks brought the paleness of her features out and the one nearest to the eye on both sides of her face was black. The one that was the nearest to her jaw line was blue. It was the same upon her small wrists.

"He doesn't do well with people, you are aware." Inu-no-Tashio answered a question not asked. She smiled brighter and said something, but Kagome was already dropping somewhere dark again. But this time it wasn't so permanent feeling, she would rise again, sooner than the last sleep. The demon's answering smile to his mate's was only a moment before he rose. There were things he needed to tend to.

"Do you believe it is safe to keep a miko here? No human knows our son exists and a miko especially should not." Her mate's brows knitted in concern, but he gave a nod. "I pray you are right my love."

"Mama… Where….?" The mother of Sesshoumaru's heart softened as she watched the human girl tense and mutter as her fingers ran along the injury.

"Maybe you are right husband, could one so innocent in sleep be cruel in wake?" Her smile turned into something of uncertainty as he stepped out, the shoji screen shutting with no sound. "But it is not wise to take chances." Violet eyes, once bright now dulled as her power grew.

Keeping one hand on Kagome's head the demon moved her other hand to the girls' heart and concentrated deeply. Memories flashed like lights for a moment, flickering out of her reach, but soon, with much more concentration, she could capture them. There was a memory of Kagome's father lifting her into the air and spinning her around with deep laughter and then one instituted the loss of such an important man. She could feel Kagome's heart swell or crack with every image as if she were the girl and not the viewer. A memory of Kagome's first fear revealed itself, of life with death, and then her first pain, the loss of a tooth because she fell down the shrine stairs and hit the concrete face first.

Then there came something strange, something not so expected. Certainly seeing the future was… odd but to see something so impossible as Kagome felt it to be pulled old fear from her as the centipede, something perfectly irrational to fear with her demonic stature, came from the wells darkness and wrapped its hands around her, whispering of the shikon no tama and how happy she was to have found it. Kagome fought back and the demon felt the swell of miko purity as if it were her own, finding it very similar to the way a demons power is released from their blood.

There was a blur, fast-forwarding to the point when the centipede tore the shikon no tama from Kagome's body. Inuyasha, who had been pinned to a tree, was suddenly trying to kill her so he could take the jewel for himself, that way he may become a full blooded demon. There was the destruction of the jewel, its power sending shivers through her as it collapsed into the Feudal world, Yura attacking with her hair and then stood Sesshoumaru.

His mothers hands pulled away from Kagome's body as shock entered her system; icy and painful. "That couldn't have been my son… That wasn't my boy was it?" Too cold, his eyes were so distant and unwelcome. Nothing like the ones she loved.

She had to see now, she had to know. Her hands found their positions again. Kagome moaned a moment, but stopped quickly as numbness from the demons use of telekinesis filled her blood, like morphine.

Sesshoumaru, to her horror, used the un-mother against Inuyasha. It was a terrible weakness to the half demon, very smart to take the chance, but also incredibly cruel. When he was at his weakest, Sesshoumaru took the black pearl from his eye and opened a portal into the after life where she saw her mates' remains. It nearly kept her from her from probing, nearly. Sesshoumaru could not draw a sword, neither could Inuyasha and so they battled.

Kagome pulled the sword from its stand, stared at it in confusion and then felt encompassing fear as Sesshoumaru appeared before her. "You…" Her son's voice rang in her mind clearly; the most terrifying memory of him from Kagome was in clear resolution. Even every color seemed more vivid. "What are you and how did you draw the sword?"

Kagome's pulse quickened and she heard Inuyasha speak, but again it fast-forwarded of its own accord. The memory did not want to be left there and worked against her with difficulty as she tried to slow it. She saw it still though, watched as her son lifted his hand and sent forth his venomous toxins. He'd tried to kill the girl because she had drawn the sword and he had not. It pained her to watch the hate in him, hate for humans. But Kagome arose from the melted bone and threatened him as though nothing had happened. Fear became anger as she gave Inuyasha Tetsuiga.

The two fought one another for a long while; Inuyasha eventually sliced the left arm from Sesshoumaru's body. Her son retreated then, to heal she assumed. Soon after the miko and Inuyasha met Shippo who had lost his family to the Thunder Brothers. The sight and story broke her heart, but Kagome's protection and warmth to the child helped her continue on. It was humorous that this miko made Inuyasha take care of him; it caused a smile to swim over her features.

And then her violet eyes mirrored the deepest of sadness as she watched Kagome's soul fill Kikyo's hallow shell. Tears threatened to fall as Inuyasha ran after the woman who looked so much like the one laying before her instead of trying to save Kagome somehow. Soon she saw Miroku, the lecherous monk of the little rag tag team, appear with a silent wisdom that many missed. His humor helped them through the darkness and horror. Just as soon as Naraku truly arrived on the scene a demon slayer, Sango, who had lost all dear to her heart, appeared with great strength. Without her aid, Kagome felt, they would not have made it so far, Kagome wouldn't have made it so far.

The tears that had been held in place brimmed as she watched Inuyasha embrace the woman who walked dead among the living, Kikyo. She could feel the wrenching despair Kagome felt, the betrayal that ached in her heart so strongly. She saw the many times where they held one another all in unison then, the strongest memories of all that Kagome felt, the times he ran to her or the one where he swore to protect her stung worse than any poison she had ever felt.

Kagome had wanted to die, a part of her did die, when she saw the man that she loved so deeply caught in the embrace of another woman. The one who had still claimed his soul hers. Kagome knew she could not share, that he could not be hers and that pain tore endlessly, repetitively.

But what struck the demon, what surprised her the most was when Kagome offered her heart and soul and even her trust to him every time in understanding, through the deepest compassion. Kagome knew full and well, had even said that he would approach Kikyo every time he thought her near. The hanyou didn't deny it as pain streamed over his contorting face, which also softened her for him, if only a little. Kagome's heart was broken every time, but she always held it in as deeply as she could manage.

"Surely this girl can not be evil if she is able to open her heart to so many." Her whisper was quiet, one of trust and sorrow. Trust because Kagome was no ordinary human woman, showing more kindness than she'd seen any other ever give and sorrow for the fact that she loved someone who could not release the dead.

After pulling the blanket over her again and standing she glanced once more with a soft smile. "Sleep well miko, in the house of the cresting moon over the brow of the west." With that she shut the sliding door behind her, in search of her mate. So much sorrow made her heart heavy; she wanted to be with him.


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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