Living With you is Like... by HelloCandy

Forgetting the Toilet Paper

Prompt: Forgetting the Toilet Paper

Words: 467

Warning: This chapter contains a crap ton of bathroom humor (pun intended). If you dislike this type of humor do not read on, go onto the next chapter (when available).

Sesshomaru’s stomach grumbled… and it wasn’t the good kind of grumble. It was one of those that sound like Chewbacca playing with a lawnmower. You see Miroku, Kagome’s cousin decided to take him out to lunch along with Inuyasha and a few other people to a very seedy restaurant with very questionable Indian food. So needless to say he had to get to a bathroom. Fast.

And yet. There he sat at a light.

And before that, it was a detour that took him 15 minutes out of the way.

And before that there was a fender bender that held up traffic.

The longer he sat the more it felt like there was a fiesta going on in his lower intestine. He was sure if he expelled some noxious gas he could make it home, but he was also sure if he tried he would have to set his car on fire because no amount of cleaning could make him look at the vehicle the same way again. 

‘Sweet Kami in Heaven what have I done to deserve this torture?’

As fast as he could, Sesshomaru found his way home and sprinted to the bathroom (as best he could with his ass cheeks clenched as tightly as they were). As he sat on his porcelain throne, he braced himself for what was to come. As the contents of stomach poured out of him like hot lava it was then that he realized he was out of toilet paper.

That was the terrible awful Kagome happened in upon. When she opened the door to her home, she noticed the smell of something rancid, so she checked the refrigerator and the trash, but that was not the origin of the stench. It was then she heard it, the threating growl of her boyfriend and his beckoning call … along with the request for toilet paper. She paled.

With a roll in her hand, Kagome rushed to the bathroom ready to get the ordeal over and done with. Opening the door, our poor heroine forgot to hold her breath as the smell of Death wafted passed her as she tossed it to him. Her eyes watered and her gag reflexes were in full swing and to make matters worse her mouth was open. As quickly as she could, she closed the door and ran (tripping in the process) to open several windows as well as light some candles.

Moments later, Sesshomaru emerged from the bathroom hair wet from the much needed shower and collapsed on the sofa next to his Kagome, who was waiting with a bottle of water. “New rule: Whoever uses up the last roll, replaces it.”

“Agreed,” he said after taking a sip. ‘And defiantly no more dining advice from Miroku,’ he added as an afterthought.

A/N: Ok so don’t ask me why I decided to do ‘Bathroom Humor’ of all things, I just know after a crappy day at work (pun not intended), I just needed to make myself smile a bit. And I did, I had quite a few chuckles writing this chapter and I hope those of you who do read it will get at least a few chuckles as well. All thanks go to GreyEcho, who reminded me I still had prompts to this story via “Resurrect your Fanfic” challenge! And speaking of prompts, if you guys have any prompt suggestions please let me know!

P.S. I know it’s like two years late, but I want to say thanks to XxSoliexHiddenxX on FF dot net for the prompt “Sesshomaru or Kagome snoring at night”.