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Filk together by phishbon3s

I Love This Chat

I want to thank Smittee for her help on the café references, Dany and Sugar0o for their permission, Velvet Sometimes for the suggestion of Mr. Sandman. I do not own Smittee’s café, any of the InuYasha characters, “Let’s Hear It For The Boys” by  Deniece Williams, “Mr. Sandman” by The Chordettes, “I Love This Bar” by Keith Toby or any of the Dokugians that are mentioned here. The phishy does own the phishy, however, and also owns the parody song “I Love This Café”


  Sitting at a table, Phishbon3s nervously bounced her leg as she waited for the start of Karaoke / Open Mike Night. The waiters were circulating the room, taking orders and cleaning up the mess left by random surprise pounces. A bottle of rum and a shot glass was set down with a clink in front of her, as a hip lightly bumped her arm to gain her attention.

  “Stop being so nervous. You’ll do fine, woman.” 

  Phish looked up to see Kouga giving her a lazy smile, his blue eyes locked with her mold green colored ones. He then laid his hand upon her head and after a quick smirk, ruffled her short hair. The sound of scrapping chairs drew her attention away from the touching gesture to across the table. Ginta and Hakkaku sat down,  claiming the empty seats across from her and grinned sympathetically at her nervousness. Lightly tugging on a lock of her hair, Kouga reclaimed Phishbon3s’s attention once again.

  “And if anyone does give you a hard time, I’ll kick their asses. Sound good?” Kouga grinned, a fang showing.

  Phishbon3s couldn’t help the gigglesnort that escaped her at his cocky declaration.

  “Yeah, listen to Kouga. You’ll do fine.” Ginta added, hoping his words would ease her discomfort. Hakkaku nodded as Kouga returned to the bar once again where Naraku was mixing more drinks.

  “You sing in chat all the time. How is this any different?” Hakkaku asked.

“It’s usually just Tenchi and me singing together…. I’m pretty sure everyone else ignores us.” Phish laughed. Still battling the butterflies that are moshing in her stomach, Phishbon3s tossed back the rum and exhaled. The boys believe in you, Phish mentally rallied as she stared at the lyric sheet on the table, what can it hurt to try? Her inner monologue was interrupted by a cacophony of voices. The lights dimmed and the spotlights flooded the stage with their light.

  The crowd erupted in catcalls and wolf whistles as Taisho, Inu Papa himself, strolled across the stage toward the microphone. The noise only escalated into estrogen-fueled squeals of delight as Taisho flashed a suggestive smirk at the crowd. After winking saucily at Danyealle, the Great Dog General raised his hands and gestured for silence. Shifting his weight to one leg and jutting his hip out, he began the proceedings with practiced ease. 

  “Ladies and Gentlemen, Youkai, Hanyous and Humans alike. Smittee’s Café is proud to present its first annual  Karaoke / Open Mike Night.” Taisho’s rich tenor carried across the café, resonating and enhancing his already smooth voice.

  “Our first preformer is our own café’s cook, Jakotsu!” Taisho bowed with a flourish and backed away as Jakotsu strutted out upon the stage, his high-heeled boots clicking with each well-placed step. He was clothed in his café uniform, minus the pink heart apron he wears while cooking. The black leather pants he wore hugged his lean form, which had the subtle luster of the well-worn. The fishnet shirt that was part of his uniform was accented by the huge black and silver feathered boa.

  Winking at the DJ manning the soundboard and Karaoke machine, the music began. Swaying and lightly stomping to the beat, Jakotsu sang as the Dokugians clapped along.

“My baby, he don’t talk sweet

He ain't got much to say

But he loves me, loves me, loves me

I know that he loves me anyway”

Jakotsu rousing rendition of “Let’s Hear It For The Boys” by  Deniece Williams, had the gathered crowd in uproar. An instant hit. Who knew our favorite little chef can sing like that?!.

  The next number was preformed by Danyealle-sama and several mods as her backup singers, all bedecked in blue sequined dresses with white elbow-length gloves. Their hair was done in styles reminiscent of the singers in the 50’s, giving those who weld the power over Dokuga a classic look, which was soft and refined. Their voices harmonized as they sung “Mr. Sandman” by The Chordettes. 

“Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, 


bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream (Bung, bung, bung, bung)

Make him the cutest that I've ever seen (Bung, bung, bung, bung) 

Give him two lips like roses and clover (Bung, bung, bung, bung)

Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over”

Wow, Phishbon3s thought, Does everyone in Dokuga rock out loud?!. Who knew? They wield the power of Mute and make an awesomesauce girl group!

  And so the Karaoke Night went, with a quite a few offkey singers and more rock-your-socks acts. Phishy had more than a few rum shots in her and was starting to feel the warm effects of it. The butterflies had raised the white flag of surrender long ago and headed to greener pastures. Or are probably soaking up the sun on one of Dokuga Islands many beaches. The sun had set some time ago and the warm salty sea air was blowing in from the open windows of the café. The Karaoke Night was winding down and Phishbon3s knew she would be called soon.

  And as if InuPapa had heard her thoughts, he stepped up to the mike and called Phishy to the stage. With a deep breathe, Phishbon3s pushed up from her seat and walked toward the lit stage.

“And up next is Phishbon3s, performing her version of I Love This Bar called ….” Taisho looked at the card in his hand, squinted and then chuckled. “… called I Love This Café.”

  Phishbon3s stepped up to the mike and waited for the opening stings of the song to begin. Looking down at her lyric sheet and then out into the crowd once again, thankful she had memorized where certain Dokugians were located. Another deep breath and she began…..

“We got writers, We got readers

Innocents and GM breeders

We got pillows, We got pillars

We got bloodthirsty killers

And the girls like how their tails will fluff and sway 

Mmmm, I love this café”

Emboldened by the cheers she got after the first verse, Phishy felt herself relax a little and continued.

“We got zillas, We got players

Weapon-weilding moderators

We got lurkers, We got plunnies

FIREMENZ and linkage funnies

Mokomoko and Opo just love to join in the fray

Mmmm, I love this café”

The mention of “zillas” got a loud whistle from the pink zilla herself , Sugar0o. The mods cheered loudly at their spot in the song as well. Need I even mention the rucus that the words FIREMENZ caused? No? Let’s move on then.

“I love this cafe

It’s my kind of dive

Just seein’ the men in uniform makes me glad that I’m alive.

You can stay all day  

Lick whom you may

Mmmm, I love this café


I’ve seen glitter,  We use brain bleach

Artists and betas within reach 

We got Demons, lot of half-breeds

I’ve even seen a pervert with prayer beads

And we like to chose our tea in a magic way

Mmmm, I love this café … Yes, I do.”

Pausing at the Instrumental Interlude of the song, Phishbon3s took the time to even her breathe and look around. So far, so good.

“I like my life

I like my husband

I like to have a glass of rum

I’d like to go outside once again


Oh, but I love this cafe

It's my kind of site.

Stop in and join the madness that goes on every night.

Just come and play

It’s the Dokuga way

Mmmm, I love this cafe

Mmmm, I love Smittee’s café”

As the last cord died down, Phishy took a bow and exited off the stage to grab something to eat. Man, she was hungry. Must have been all that nervous energy……


When all was said and done, Phishbon3s was happy she did get on that stage tonight. She made a mental note to thank the boys later for support. But now, she must prepare for the Next Karaoke / Open Mike night. So what should be the IY / Dokuga subject and song for her next project? Hmmm…. Maybe I should consult the hubby…..

Phishy walked away laughing manically under her breathe. They’ll never know what hit ‘em.



To Be Continued……….


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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