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Finding Sanity by Kagome Yuki Niwa

Finding Sanity

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the song 'Sing This' by I See Stars


: Romance/Angst


: Sesshoumaru/Kagome


: A wish made on the jewel brings Kagome back to the present at the age of fifteen where she never fell down the well and Shikon no longer exists. No one believes her when she says she traveled back into the past in order to save the world and with nothing else to be done, Kagome has been sent to the Tokyo Asylum where she meets a man that looks remarkably like Sesshoumaru, a man from the past that supposedly doesn't exist.

Word Count [Minus Extras]

: 1 0 , 7 3 0

Finding Sanity

"Time to let the world know, welcome madness, say hello!" - Oingo Boingo

x . . . . x

She awoke in a daze and immediately began screaming when she was able to move her mouth. Her vocal cords strained as the high pitched wails and cries bounced off the white washed walls and echoed back at her, nearly deafening her. She was unable to move her arms due to the fact they were currently strapped down to her body. Tears were slowly sliding down her pale, cool cheeks, and her sobs were falling from her throat, causing her poor and aching body to shudder with every scream and sob that escaped. After so many instances where she was kidnapped or taken hostage, she didn't like not being able move her arms. She didn't like it all.

She saw a small light from the single, tiny window embedded into the metal door. Immediately she began trying to stand up, straining against her restraints. She was stuck and she couldn't do anything about it. With every attempt more high pitched screams were heard until her voice was hoarse and she could do nothing but grunt and sob. Finally, after many slips and falls, she was able to stand. She walked sluggishly and pressed her face to the small piece of glass. She saw nothing but white. White floors, white ceilings, and white lights.

White was everywhere.

She looked down at her restraints and immediately began to pull at them, calling upon power to help her do so... yet, nothing happened. There were no pink or blue glows, nothing indicating her miko powers were surfacing to help her. Her cerulean eyes widened and she shook her head of raven locks back and forth wildly, her lips forming a single word over and over again. She fell back to the ground and curled into the fetal position as best she could, continuing to rock back and forth. The word, "no" coming out muffled as she repeated it. She tried again and again to call upon the powers she knew she had but nothing was happening. The tears continued to fall.

It couldn't have been her imagination.

She was not crazy.

She attempted to break loose of the straight jacket and was met with defeat.

The screaming began again because Kagome Higurashi was in Tokyo Asylum and she was scared out of her mind.

The nurses rushed to her room and she could hear the latches being undone but she couldn't seem to stop screaming. She tried, Kami, she tried but they just kept coming out. Immediately they swarmed in, more white against the white, and she struggled as they pushed and prodded at her, attempting to calm her down. Someone was whispering soothing words but she thrashed, trying to get away from the people that were intent on touching her and telling her everything was 'alright'.

"She shouldn't be awake yet. That dosage we gave her was enough to put out a grown man for several more hours!" one of the nurses exclaimed but Kagome barely registered it above her own screaming and the bustling about her cell. She was scared, confused, and most of all in denial. She refused to believe that her time in the Sengoku Era didn't happen. The gleam of a needle was seen in the glare of the bright white light shining into her cell. She began to thrash harder and refused to be put to sleep again. The bite of the needle stung her flesh and she felt the cool liquid being injected into her body, filling her blood stream. Her body began to relax and her breathing began to deepen and then... Kagome saw black.



She lost time more than awhile ago.

With time, she may have lost her mind, not that they didn't believe it was missing already.

Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes turned to hours. Hours turned into weeks - wait, no, hours turned into days and yet, Kagome couldn't tell you how long she was there. Her days were spent whimpering and cursing, confused and full of anger. According to her dear family, she was fifteen years old, not the nineteen she had previously thought she was. Instead of getting Buyo in the well house, she had fallen and taken a nasty hit on the head. She was out for a span of three days and when she awoke crying for her Sengoku Family, her Mother had been confused and asked Kagome to explain. Shocked by her daughters belief that she was nineteen, was the reincarnation of a miko, and fought youkai five hundred years prior, she immediately sought help.

The help said to put her into an institution [read asylum] and Kun-loon did so. Kagome fought against the people that threatened to take her away from her family, hence her restraints on her first day.

She had the same scars she had as when she went down the well and into the Sengoku Era but each had a different explanation as to how she got them. The scar on her hip from where Mistress Centipede attacked her was actually given to her when she had a tumor removed from her body at a young age. As for why it was so large, she was so active that the stitching had complete come undone. Kagome could even remember the hospital trip she had made though she didn't recall having that memory before. The scars Inuyasha had left on her arms from when he turned full youkai were explained by her falling on a wooden plank with nails coming out the end and impaling her arms.

They weren't things she remembered doing but she the memories of doing them.

It was a frightening aspect.

She was constantly trying to figure out what was what. What had been made up, what had been real, who had planted these fake memories in her mind? At one point she had even blamed their evil hanyou adversary, believe him to have existed to her time and taken his revenge upon her. Then, Kagome realized how silly that sounded. They was trying to determine why things didn't seem to be working out correctly. Everything was turned upside down and her life, as average as it had been, had taken thee turn for the worst. She wished Sango and Miroku were there with her. She wished Shippo was making jokes and attacking her with kisses. She wished Kirara was lying next to her, purring up a storm. She wished Inuyasha were there to take away the youkai haunting her mind.


She wondered if this, this being her estranged situation, was the result of Inuyasha's wish... if he had made one. She had been torn away from him the moment the Shikon no Tama was put back together.

She then wondered why her mind had made up such an elaborate story.

Then Kagome realized that if she had made it all up then no one was going to be looking for the futuristic miko. No one would come and break her out of this prison.

Which then meant that there was no Inuyasha and she was waiting and pining for a boy that didn't even exist.

The thought made her cry.

They gave her a pill for her depression.



"Nom, nom, nom, Kagome-chan!" the bright, cheery nurse that sat across from her smiled happily as she attempted to spoon feed Kagome within the dining area. There were about forty or so others at this point, a few receiving the same treatment she was currently experiencing. She was seated by one of the windows and the moans and groans of even the crazier ones filled her head. She cradled her head in her hand, eyes moving over the greenery on the outside. Oh how she missed traveling. She missed the air. She missed the companionship. She missed everything.

But was there anything to really miss if she made it all up?

The spoon continued on toward her mouth and Kagome scowled. She batted the applesauce away from her mouth and the spoon fell to the ground with a clatter. The nurse looked startled and Kagome fixed her with a cerulean stare, "I am labeled as clinically insane, not disabled to the point where I can't feed myself." she growled and the woman flinched. Kagome's eyes softened and she sighed as she looked outside. "I miss being outdoors and feeling the youkai there at the edge of my senses..." she murmured and the nurse just nodded her head.

There was no point in hiding what she knew considering everyone at the asylum knew her story.

She would often tell stories of her time in the past and now the nurses considered it a treat to listen to her blather on. They enjoyed the romance, the adventure. They often talked late in the break room about the various people in their stories. Many of them swooned over the idea of having so many attractive males around them, fictional or not. The nurse before her listened with rapt interest as Kagome blithely continued on about the past. How the air smelled differently. How the grass was greener. How everything was just livelier. It was a pity no one believed her. She could feel the sting of tears burning behind her eyes and she closed them, not wanting to see the greenery outside any longer.

"Kagome-chan? Do you feel well?" the nurse asked.

Kagome cracked.

She screamed.

"No! I am not fine you insipid fool! Do I look fine? I am in an asylum for Kami's sake! I am not now nor have I ever been insane!" Kagome yelled and then came the other nurses as she continued, attempting to subdue her. She fought, learning to hate the needles that poked into her flesh. She hated falling asleep. It was ridiculous. She pushed and tried to get away from the slight pain that was about to come. She fought to get away from the dreams that were soon to follow. She would see their faces and hear their voices. She didn't want any of it. So she punched, she kicked, and she went down fighting.

She could feel the needle again and her arms and neck made her look like some heroine addict.

It made her sick.

So she fought weakly as the drugs entered her system.

They gave her a pill for her anger.



Currently in her room, still plain, still white, still maddening, Kagome sighed and curled on her side on her bed. It wasn't very comfortable but she had, had worse. She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the white but then she would have to deal with seeing their faces behind her closed lids. She immediately began sobbing. She was still in this place, still here, confused, lost, alone. She just wanted to go home. She was tired of her salutation and what had become of her life. She had helped save the world! Didn't she get some sort of hero's bypass coupon? To bypass one disaster per lifetime? She only wished.

The scent of freshly dewed grass filled her nose. The wildness of the forest tantalized her senses. She felt the tears scald her cheeks as pine assaulted her nostrils. She could scent him there in the room with her. She could smell his outdoor scent that lulled her to sleep many times over the years they traveled. She wished she could stop breathing and then she wished could stop hearing and could go deaf because then she could hear him, complaining and insulting her. "Keh! Weak wench, get up!" the gruff, rumble of his voice, always hinted with an edge of a growl filled her.

For a moment she was content.

"Wench! I'm talkin' to ya!" he was growling now, angry with her. "You're lettin' yourself waste away in this place! Get up and fight! Get up and do something instead of sitting there and whimpering like Shippo!" she was outright, hysterically crying, on the point of hyperventilating. She couldn't deal with her memories so she certainly wasn't about to be able to hear him. She opened her eyes as she moved to a seated position and a flash of red caught her eyes. She looked up and she choked on her breathing.

There, right before her, not having aged a day, still in his fire rat kimono, stood Inuyasha leaning against the wall.

His amber eyes were filled with frustration as they looked down at her.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome called, shocked, but overjoyed to see him.

"Quit bitching and get the fuck outta here, Kagome." he growled and she blinked several times but on that last blink... Inuyasha was gone.

She immediately wanted him back and began crying again.

With the crying of course came the screaming for him to return.

Which of course brought the nurses.

Which led to the needle.

Which led to darkness.

They gave her a pill for her hallucinations.



Kagome's first doctor's appointment was going to begin shortly. She was taken down several winding halls until she walls were no longer white but bright neutral colors instead. She breathed a sigh of relief and had absolutely no idea how something as simple as the color of the walls could change how she was feeling so abruptly. She was relieved and relaxed even if just for a few moments. She was led to a room that looked like most psychologist's rooms seen on television. It was spacious, walls lined with books, and several couches in the center. There was a large desk, decorated with papers and whatnot and even an honest to Kami therapeutic patient chair. The long black ones sometimes seen in shows or movies.

She wanted to snort with laughter.

"Take a seat, Kagome-chan." cooed the nurse that led her to her doom. Nothing ever came good out of examinations. Obviously. Kagome shot a small glare at the woman that was just doing her job and took a seat in the room upon a couch. "The doctor will be with you shortly, just wait here, and be good." she smiled and Kagome wanted to shoot herself. Every nurse thought she was incompetent which just wasn't the case. She sighed and looked around the room as the nurse left, humming a happy tune that made Kagome ill. She had lost weight in her stay here, her color had become nearly bloodless pale, and now upon her once flawless skin lay deep bags under her eyes. Her hair only seemed ink black against the pale of her skin and many people commented on how she looked like the walking dead a majority of the time.

Hell, she felt like that too.

Kagome pursed her lips as she waited and waited and waited for what felt like forever. She felt as though time passed differently in her personal hell hole. Then she laughed at the thought. Time was her biggest enemy. It gave her moments to relive every minute of the day. She would forever spend her days in this place and it was a depressing thought. For some reason, it made her laugh until her sides hurt and tears rolled down her cheeks. She was still laughing when the doctor came in and sat down in front of her on the opposite couch.

They said nothing until her laughter died down and she was able to look at the person that was going to be analyzing her mind.

She sat frozen as she looked upon the doctor.

Cerulean met iced gold.

Kagome sat, entranced, like the mouse before the cat pounced upon it.

Fear shot through her body but with that fear came elation.

How could she be frightened when she was intent on throwing herself upon the male before her. True, they had never been the best of friends but it was a face from the past, proving she wasn't crazy!

"Sess-Sesshoumaru?" she called.

There was no change in those eyes.

No flicker of recognition.


"Higurashi-san, I have heard that you suffer from a series of delusions and beliefs that you traveled in the past with youkai. Is this 'Sesshoumaru' that you seemed to have confused me with, another face from your delusions?" the male inquired.

"No! It's you! It has to be you! I know those features anywhere! I mean - sure, you lack the markings and long silver hair, but I know it's you! Sesshoumaru-sama! it's me, the miko that collected the shards of the Shikon No Tama with your brother!" Kagome said urgently, her eyes wide, breathing coming in shallow gasps between sentences.

"I am Dr. Shinju Hinomori, not this Sesshoumaru, Higurashi-san. Now please, tell me, who was 'Sesshoumaru'? Did you have relations with him in your delusions? Was he an important character?" he asked, his left hand moving over a pad as wrote quickly. Her eyes moved over the button-up pale yellow shirt that fit his broad shoulders nicely, then to the light brown vest her wore that fit snug over his torso. The pants matched the colored vest, and the shoes were black, shined to perfection.

He looked human with his rounded ears and lack of fangs and claws upon those elegant hands of his. Yet, the features were same aristocratic ones she knew of. They had the same aristocratic tilt as she remembered.

Her world no longer made any sense and so Kagome said absolutely nothing as the Doctor prodded her for information.



To say Sesshoumaru was shocked was an understatement when he scented the woman before him. It had been ages for him but he still knew the scent that came from his brother's miko any day. She had, after all, been an annoyance and he knew all his annoyances by scent. Inuyasha had been his greatest aggravation. Yet, as he stared at the miko, he couldn't quite grasp it was she. It had been five hundred years and she was only fifteen years old. It was an odd situation. He knew, logically, that she had been from the future but actually seeing her amidst all the things that they didn't have in the past was shocking.

Seeing her in general, in his office of all places, was shocking.

He treated the ill of the mind and she had not been ill when they met five hundred years prior.

He looked over her case file in his hands and saw what she suffered from and sighed internally.

Figures, honestly.

The miko suffered from her memories of the past.



"Eventually, one day, you'll talk to me." Sesshoumaru said coolly as the doctor looked at the woman across from him. Kagome had said nothing over the course of the weeks that had passed. The once traveling time miko sat there for her time and never said a word to the man that was in front of her. He had shaken the very foundation that she had stood upon and hadn't given a seconds remorse for it. There he sat, looking like a youkai from her past but he denied it.

He denied it.

Without her miko powers, she couldn't tell if it really was the man from her adventures.

She had given into the insanity that plagued her.

She didn't eat anymore.

Sleeping filled her with nightmares.

She was no longer active and he hated it.

Where was the miko he had once seen traveling with his half-brother? True, he didn't quite give a damn about the girl, but she had saved the world and he owed it to her to fix the problem she was currently in. If he could get her to deny everything that happened and come to accept it all as a delusion, she would be written off as 'clear' and go about her life. He owed her at least that much... especially considering she rid the world of Naraku and Shikon once and for all.

He damned his half-brother again and again.

It was his fault the girl was in this situation and the fact she suffered because of the damnable wish he had made.

"I wish that Kagome could have the life she would've if she didn't go back in time."

Well, she was fifteen again but she remembered everything.

So did all the youkai that her life had touched.

"Really, woman, don't be ridiculous with this silence." he finally scoffed at her, his keen eyes looking for any reactions.

He got one.

She turned to him, slowly, her eyes narrowing as she took a deep breath. "My name is, Kagome, not 'woman'! Use it, buster!" she growled impressively, a spark long gone returning to her eyes in her anger.

The man smirked and it made her heart flutter in her chest.



" - and Shippo changed into this pink balloon type thing and I swear, I had never laughed so hard in my life." Kagome smiled, giggling as she talked about the kitsune kit she had encountered in her adventures. Sesshoumaru found her quite animated after the initial out burst she had previously had. She would enjoy talking about her adventures and he found himself rapidly becoming an avid fan of her stories. He shook his head at her and would take small notes with everything she said. She would be completely joyful and then he would shoot it down in a second.

"You are aware, Higurashi, that none of this was real or happened, correct?" he asked. She looked at him, her eyes dulling immediately and then offering him a strained smile.

"No, it happened. I know it did." she whispered softly.

"Then why are you fifteen rather then the nineteen that you are supposed to have been?" he inquired.

"I chalk it up to having to do with Inuyasha's wish." she murmured softly, her eyes down cast.

He wanted her to agree that didn't happen. He wished he could just tell her, 'deny it all, deny everything, and you could be out of here', reveal himself and get her to do just that. He couldn't do just that though. He wasn't planning on staying in her life. It would be unfair of him to do that to her. It would be cruel to offer a starving woman fruit and then tear it from her hands just as she was about to bite into it. He honestly didn't give a damn about fair play but Kagome was one of the ningen that had floated above the sea of incompetents and proven her worth.

"You are aware that there is no such thing as the 'Search for the Jewel Shards' in the books, are you not?"

"I am." she murmured and then she sniffled and he felt himself become weary with all of this.

"You are done for the day, Kagome-san, you may leave."

She practically ran from the room.

He wanted to sigh.



"What will we discuss today?" Kagome asked softly. "How nothing I know is real? How all memories are figments of my imagination?" sarcasm was thick in her voice followed by bitterness.

"No. It is snowing outside." Sesshoumaru murmured as he stood and opened the back door to his office, watching as the snow blanketed the office with a gray light. Kagome arched a brow at him but as soon as her eyes landed upon the snow, she made a soft sound in the back of her throat. She looked at him for confirmation and he gave but a small nod of his head. He watched as she ran passed him and into the snow. She was laughing joyously as she dove around the powdered ice. A nurse entered and she sighed softly as she looked at the young girl.

"Is it a good idea to allow her to be outside?" she asked.

"I am her doctor and she has been cooped inside for far too long. I took note that when her anger issues surface that her outside privileges were taken away. I want the"m reinstated." he murmured as she made a snow angel, the snow making her clothing slightly wet. The nurse nodded and set about doing that. His eyes observed her as she went out on the patio area, making sure all the surrounding gates to the outside were closed. His keen eyesight watched as she looked at all the white snow and her laughter turned to tears as she cried his half brother name.

She came to them in the spring.

It was slightly depressing it was now winter and the girl was no better then when she had entered.

In fact, it seemed she was rapidly getting worse, her mind actually falling into the insanity that was said to plague it.

Sesshoumaru wondered what to do.



"Tell me about Inuyasha, Kagome-san." he requested of her and Kagome looked at him oddly.

"Why?" she asked softly.

"Why not?" he shot back and she nodded her head as her gaze turned wistful.

"He might have been several hundred years old but he was just a boy." she murmured and her eyes were clouded over in remembrance. "He had a tough life, his mother being ningen and father being youkai, making him hanyou. Hanyou weren't widely accepted, you see, and his mother had died at a young age. It left him alone in a world that despised him for merely living. He had a terrible attitude when I met him. He cursed, his attitude was over bearing, he tried to kill me, but his heart was kind under that exterior. He cared so much about everyone. He just wanted is all safe and sound. Inuyasha tried to carve out happiness for all of us in the cruelty of the world, using his own claws."

"Did you love him?" he asked.

"Yes." she whispered as her eyes closed.

"Did he love you?" he inquired. Her eyes opened slowly and she gave him the full weight of her gaze.


"How do you know this?" she cocked her head to the side adn the pain on her face was completely visible as her lips pursed.

Her hands clenched in her lap and Kagome did everything she could to contain the anger that coursed through her veins. She took a deep breath and then counted from ten backward. Kagome released the breath on the final count and the pain was now etched with anger. "Because..." she murmured as she trailed off.

"Hmm?" he hummed, taking more notes.

"He loved her."

At that his brows shot up into his hairline.

"I see."



He found that if he just stared at her long enough, Kagome would fidget. She no longer had bouts of hysteria, but Kagome still refused to believe that she had made the whole debacle up. Sesshoumaru had to give it to her. The girl was steadfast in her belief and allowed no one to sway her. He admired her for it. Yet, he amused himself when he stared at her because no matter how how strong her belief, no matter how much she denied that everything was just a large figment of her imagination, he found it hilarious that as he watched her fidget, she would eventually break and say something that would reference 'Sesshoumaru' [himself].

"Only you take sadistic amusement in making others uncomfortable. Now I'm sure you're Sesshoumaru." she growled.

He only smirked and took more notes.

"How do you believe this to be true?" he asked.

"He was a sadistic asshole as well." he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Wouldn't I know if I were 'Sesshoumaru'?"

"Not if the wish Inuyasha made had somehow twisted even your reality and perspective." she murmured and then she looked outside away from him.

He wanted to snort at the thought of Inuyasha doing anything of the sort.



He found that she plagued his thoughts when he wasn't at work. It was damn annoying. True, he found her amusing but there was no reason for him to be thinking so much about her. Her humor was witty, sarcastic, and she was intelligent. Classified as clinically insane, yet he knew she wasn't. She was a lovely thing to look at true, but that was all there as to her. There was no reason fro him to wake up every morning, make his coffee, and get out of his condo filled with anticipation.

What was there to anticipate?

Psychoanalyzing a miko that didn't need any psychiatric help?

Yet, that was what he did.

He woke, got ready, left his condo, and made his way to work, filled with anticipation. He always wondered what new territory they would encroach on. He would enter his office and greet the day, looking at the clock and getting more and more fidgety as the clock hands neared one o'clock, her regularly scheduled appointment time. He could always scent her before she entered and it always calmed him. Today she had entered and smiled happily at him. She had put on the weight she had lost, giving her a healthy glow and the outdoor visits made her temperament easier to deal with.

He took in her every detail and then would begin.

"How was your day today?" he asked and she gave him a bright smile.

"It was great! Today is the anniversary of Naraku's defeat!" she yipped and he found her excitement contagious though he held it deep within. He remembered the day with fondness and knew that there would be celebrations all over the Western Lands. He wasn't doing this job because he needed money, nope, he was doing it more because he enjoyed it. He continued to do it in order to help the miko but... even if only to himself, he could admit he also did it to get rid of the monotony that was his life.

"Really?" he asked. She nodded her head and went on with telling him details he already knew though he found it interesting to hear it from her point of view. She didn't bring up any of his part in the story, in fact, she never brought him up at all.

The thought irritated him somewhat.

Every time he inquired about himself, she would clam up and begin a new conversation.

Today was no exception.

"What about Sesshoumaru, did he have a hand in this battle?" he asked.

"Hmph." she hummed and then crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from him huffily.



He knew it was a terrible idea to go to work today but he was obsessed with the oddity that was Kagome and he knew it. He was feeling slightly ill and contrary to popular belief, youkai did get ill every now and then. He was having some trouble maintain his concealing charm that hid away his youkai features. He was Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands, though, and he would not loose control over a small thing such as a sealing charm. He snorted at the thought and took a seat as his normal couch when Kagome came in, her smile soft and full of mischief just as it usually was now and days.

She had gained back her fire sometime during their talks and he found it to be a great thing of pride for him.

Pride that he had made her better.

"Hello, Shinju-san! How are you today?" she inquired as she sat in her usual chair. Her eyes were bright with genuine curiosity and he couldn't help but indulge her.

"I feel quite awful, Kagome-san, you?" he asked as a soft cough wracked his body. Kagome looked at him with wide optics, her smile sleeping from her face.

"Ah, Shinju-san! You shouldn't have come into work today!" she scolded.

"I am fine, Kagome-san, now let us begin." he told her sternly and she reluctantly nodded her head. "Why do you think you suffer from these delusions?"

"They aren't delusions but if they were, they maybe it is because of an over active imagination, ne?" she asked, her eyes twinkling merrily.

"But that isn't the case, here." he told her and he watched as she sighed and held her chin within her hand.

"No, that isn't because it all happened." she murmured. She looked at him, her eyes searching. For a moment, he wanted to crush her to him and nod his head but he quickly willed that feeling away. "Right, Sesshoumaru?" she asked softly.

"I am not he, Kagome-san." he muttered in exasperation as he ran a hand through his long strands of hair. He paused in mid-motion, looking at the stands of silver that filled his hand. That wasn't right. His hair was black while he was human. He looked over at Kagome and watched the lack of reaction fill her face. It was still pleading with him, wanting him to tell her that it did happen.

"Not Sesshoumaru?" she asked as she tilted her head sideways. "Mhm. I can see just how much you aren't him." then she stood and stormed away from his office.

He didn't see her for three weeks.



At the beginning of the fourth week, Sesshoumaru was becoming irritable. Appointments weren't mandatory but he had gotten used to having her around and he missed her for all it was worth. So as he went to work, he called and demanded that the nurse that normally attended Kagome bring her to his office as soon as her breakfast was over. He would make her visits mandatory. What was the point in owning the facilities if he couldn't make his own damn rules?

There was no point.

He walked into his office and began pacing.




He was annoyed by the time her scent floated into the room. He turned toward the door just as she closed the door behind her. She looked at him, defiance shining in her eyes followed by anger. His own eyes narrowed at her and the spell that kept him concealed fell to pieces. The black, short strands, shimmered to silver as they grew long and fell to his tops of his thighs. The frozen gold became more intense and the markings appeared as though someone were painting them on his angelic face. The fangs in his mouth appeared followed by the claws on his fingers and finally the tips of ears became pointed.

He stalked toward her, angry and she back up against the door.

"You haven't appeared for any of your appointments, Kagome." he growled softly. "Why?" he hissed.

"Because... I've known for awhile who you were! The first day you denied it so I denied it as well but after that, I just knew and you continued to string me along! Why should I appear? Why? Obviously, even after knowing who I am, knowing I am not crazy, you haven't helped me! So I know you aren't going to help me now! There is no point continuing useless conversations when we both know they are true!" she whimpered as the tears slowly began to slip down her cheeks and plop onto the floor.

He looked away from her because the way her cheeks were flushed, her chest heaving with anger, was doing odd things to his body.

"Look at me!" she screamed, her fingers coming to yank at his hair and force him to look at her.

He growled and lost it.



His lips devoured her hungrily and Kagome was left being stunned. His lips gripped hers possessively, dominating her completely. She had never, ever thought of Sesshoumaru romantically in the past but even she couldn't deny the attraction she had grown to have over the past months. She had opened up to him more than she had done anyone else and not because he was her doctor but because she truly liked the youkai. Even if he had kept his identity a secret for long. It was no surprise to her when she yielded to him, parting her lips in order for him to drive his tongue into her mouth, conquering, and controlling her every motion.

His hands gripped her waist, his claws pricking her sensitive skin in the process. There was no sound of protest when he tilted her head back further and pressed his tongue against hers, seeking. He tasted every inch of her mouth, relishing in the taste of freshly picked peaches. He moved one clawed hand to the door behind her and locked it, the other moving to entangle in the inky black strands that felt like silk against his fingers. He bent over her, noticing how tiny she truly was as she stepped on tip toe to return his kiss with as much vigor as he had shown. He lifted Kagome effortlessly against the door, her long, milky legs moving to enclose about his slim waist.

He pressed her against the door, the wood digging into her back. Sesshoumaru's lips softened against hers for just a moment at he pinned her there, helpless against his relentless assault on her body. His hands, one remaining in her hair, the other moving just under shirt, against her back. His thumb traced gently against the waist band of the white scrubs issued to all the patients. She quivered beneath him and it brought a purr of satisfaction from the taiyoukai. His lips pulled from hers and she followed him, seeking his warmth and he chuckled as she blinked bleary eyes up at him.

Her plump lips were slightly bruised and her hair was delightfully mussed. She gave him a look that seemed almost coy from beneath her lashes and her small, delicate hands were tracing over his chest atop the vest and shirt he wore. She nibbled her bottom lip as the hand that held her back moved up under the clothing and caressed her left breast, massaging and nudging the peaks. She sighed against the touch and he adjusted her so that her breasts were within reach of his mouth. He tasted her through the cloth of her shirt, engulfing those peaks within his mouth. He could feel her nipple tighten in his mouth as his tongue lathered againsst them , wary with his fangs.

She arched into that seeking mouth, her little fingers clutching at his shoulders. He knew she was untouched and just these small touches brought her so much pleasure that it brought a low growl from his lips. He knew logically, this was a bad idea. She was his patient, for one. She had small hang-ups over his half-brother, who still lived. Finally, she was going to hate him when he told her of Inuyasha being alive. Thankfully, he wasn't thinking logically and gave into sensation. She made a soft noise of pleasure and approval as he bit down on the nipple, his fangs driving against the flesh yet not breaking the skin and then he turned his attention to the other breast.

Her hands made quick work of his vest while he pulled off her shirt. He took a look at his handy work and was happy to see each breast sufficiently red and glistening with his saliva. His lips moved from the center of her chest and upward on her neck, suckling along the column of her throat, and moving higher to nibble along the lobes of her ear. She shuddered against him, her breath coming out in soft, quick puffs, against his own ears, sending a shiver through his body as well. he held her in place against the door with his body as he quickly undid the cuff-links to his shirt. She undid each of the buttons and tore the shirt away from his body, revealing his smooth torso to her.

Her mouth water slightly at his well toned body, her eyes taking in the delicious markings at his waist. She just wanted to lick down those markings and toward his - her thought as interrupted by a low grumbling against her ear as Sesshoumaru pressed his body to hers. She was pulled away from the wall abruptly and was carried toward his desk where she was able to comfortably sit at the edge. His long arms swept the desk clean of all papers, pen, office supplies, etc., in one swoop. He stepped away from her for a moment to kick off his shoes and socks. She watched entranced as he began to undo his belt and slip it off. It fell to the ground with his forgotten clothing.

"Pants. off." he told her, gesturing to her pants. She did as told, shyly taking them off and allowing them to fall to the floor. "Underwear too." he murmured and she nibbled her bottom lip. She stood and stepped out of them, kicking them away, and felt her cheeks flush as she sat the naked before him. His eyes moved over her body in appreciation. A low growl slid forth as he attempted to control himself. His own pants soon followed hers and he stood before her naked as well.

Her cheeks along with the tops of her breasts were flushed with a heavy blush as her eyes made contact with his stiff and engorged member. He walked toward her slowly and bent down, pressing his lips to her own in a chaste kiss. He pulled away and pressed a kiss to her nose, her cheeks, her chin, her forehead, her eyelids, and then pulled away, looking down at the miko that was currently bare before him. He had never seen a more tempting sight. He spread her legs gently and she attempted to resist and he shot her a look that got her quickly to comply with his wishes as he knelt down before her.

His nose hovered above her core and breathed in the scent of her arousal as it permitted the air. His tongue moved out to trace her folds delicate and she stiffened for just a moment before relaxing and giving into the sensation of his tongue against her most private of places. her hands were braced behind her on the desk as her head fell back, breasts heaving as he tasted her. She tasted like fresh rain and he purred, the vibrations from his mouth causing a new sensation to ripple through her body.

His tongue explored her moist folds as a single finger moved against that one bundle of nerves that brought woman screaming over the edge. He worked it with his finger, as he continued to lap at the juices that slip from her core as her arousal increased. She moaned and mewled, music to his ears Her hips bucked with every lick and caress until he moved his tongue and finger just right and brought her body to completion. Her hands dug into the polished wood of his desk as she cried out softly, her body writhing in pleasure. He stood, wiping his lips, as he danced hiss fingers along her folds making her ride her orgasm out longer.

As she was lost in the pleasure, his length hovered along her open, pressing against her slowly. She gasped softly and just before her body stopped writing beneath his, he thrust into her, hoping to minimize her pain against his brutal intrusion upon her body. He was very well endowed and wanted to do anything other than bring her pain so he hoped to minimize it while she experienced an orgasm. She whimpered slightly but that was all as she adjusted to his member inside her. Her inner walls clenched down on his shallowly and his eyes fluttered close with a pleased hiss of pleasure. Slowly, he began to thrust his body in and out of hers, his hands holding her hips in place.

Soon her body fell into the pattern and her soft mewls once again filled the room, his name coming from her lips in broken harmonies. He gave a low grown as he began to drive into her, pressing her body into a laying down position, pulling her to the very edge of the desk. He pound into her young, youthful body, watching her breasts bounce with every thrust. She arched and cried out, her eyes closed in ecstasy. Soon he flipped her body and 'eeped' at the sudden movement. Sweat slicked their bodies, her juices lubricating their genitals. She was now on her stomach, her feet placed firmly on the floor. He spread her legs wide as he grunted, his body never breaking stride within hers.

Her hands were clutching at the edge of his desk as she whimpered with the pleasure that was over taking her body. Slowly she was being brought to her peak again, Sesshoumaru intent on driving her to explode. The knew position gave a new angle that her cry out his name with every few smooth strokes. Her body was clenching around his, tighter, and tighter. Kami, he felt like he was finding heaven in her body with every passing moment.

"Sesshoumaru!" she cried softly, a broken moan falling from her lips as she clenched around his member. He with held his orgasm and watched as she breathed rapidly, craning her head to look at him. Her face was heavily blushing, eyes filled with dazed lust. She nibbled her bottom lip, a nervous habit he noted and arched a brow at her. "You - um - you didn't go." she murmured softly. He nodded his head and gave a Gaelic shrug of his shoulders that meant everything and anything. "Why?"

"An accidental pregnancy would not be beneficial for either party." he murmured. She switched positions on wobbly legs and ran a hand through her hair. She seemed to be contemplating something before she went down on her knees before him. "Kagome... you do not - " he was interrupted by her mouth engulfing the head of him, her hands holding his hips in place, right along his stripes. She sucked for several moments, her tongue moving along the head before she pulled away.

"I don't have to, but I would like to." she murmured and then she licked the underside of his member before returning her mouth to his shaft and engulfing him shallowly. He shuddered as her hot, little mouth moved along him slowly, a single hand coming to base and moving along him. She began gently until he growled, "Harder." She complied and gripped his length harder and moved her hand in time with her mouth. Her little tongue swirled along him, tasting, licking. He slowly began to thrust, careful not to thrust to hard and choke her.

Her head bobbed along him and he clenched the edge of his desk, like she had done previously. He growled lowly, as she pulled away and sucked upon his testicles one at a time, licking and sampling. He shuddered and then her mouth was one him yet again. He looked down at her, her eyes meeting his and the innocence within them was awing. It drove him closer and closer. His clawed hand gripped her head, the other remaining on the desk, while he helped her along with a pace. She sucked him hard, long, quick, shallow, and the combination were driving him insane. "Kagome..." he growled in warning just as he came in a hot and sticky flood. She continued to suckle him, taking it all down, almost gagging and couching it all up but she held there and swallowed,, some of it escaping the confines of her mouth and sliding down her chin.

She looked up at him shyly, "Did I do good?"

He only chuckled and kissed her nose as his knees buckled beneath him.



"And you are sure she no longer suffers these delusions?" the director of the Tokyo Asylum asked. He was another Doctor that helped approve whether or not patients were able to function outside of the asylum or not. He checked Sesshoumaru work and Sesshoumaru checked his. This way there was a lesser chance of someone being approved that wasn't completely cured. Sesshoumaru nodded his head at the man and the man nodded his head as he looked over Kagome's files, noticing the progress the girl had made while being there. "Alright then, let's get her out of here and moved back with her family." he said brightly and Sesshoumaru only shot the man a smirk.

Her family, indeed.



"What do you mean Inuyasha is alive?" Kagome hissed softly, tears threatening to spill. She was unpacking her things into the room that she was going to be sharing with Sesshoumaru. They were not mates, not in the slightest but they did care for one one another, and enjoyed each others presence greatly. They lacked love though so there were no final stops to ensure they stayed together once and for all. Her mother seemed to have understood, though barely, after all, people still married young in Japan. She thought that them living together wasn't overly odd.

"I mean he lives and breathes, obviously." he told her, his brow escaping into his hair line. He had this terrible habit of becoming sarcastic when nervous or angry.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she growled.

"So that you could run back into his arms?" he growled right back as he stalked toward her. She made a sound of anger and the tears began to fall as she began to shout.

"No! But how could you keep that a secret from me?" she cried. It had been a month since that moment in his office and there were plenty of opportunities to tell her but Sesshoumaru wanted to be selfish if just for a few moments. He was frightened, though he would never admit it, that she would leave him for his miserable half brother.

"Do not lie, Kagome. I know you still pine for him!" he growled as he stopped before her.

"You asshole!" she hissed. "No, I don't pine for your brother! I stopped pining for him a long time ago! How dare you?" she yelled as she pushed at his chest, attempting to push him away but she was unsuccessful."How can you just stand there and - " his lips devoured hers and he forced her mouth open with his tongue. He was pissed. He would never hurt her though so he had no other choice but to kiss her roughly and demand she yield to him. His arms encircled her and pinned her to his body, effectively trapping her there. She fought against him as he dominated her mouth, his hand filling her hair and yanking her head back in order to reach her throat where he nipped and bit. "Get off of me!" she hissed though that hiss turned into a moan once his hands yanked open her jeans and he pressed a single digit into her core.

She arched against him and clutched at him. She pursed her lips as she growled and gave halfhearted attempts at fighting him away but he growled and her struggles ceased completely. He tore her clothing from her body, seams ripping, buttons snapping as he bent his head and bit her breasts, driving his fangs against the flesh. She arched against his and mewled softly. Her hands rapidly undid his pants and he pulled his shirt over his head in one fluid motion. She made soft impatient sounds as he lips pressed his torso, biting on his nipple and taking it roughly into her mouth. Her hand found his member and stroked. He growled in approval.

She pumped him while his own hand stroked her spot, having her writhe for him yet this wasn't enough. He quickly grabbed the miko, whom was now used to being changed around in positions. He brought her to the bed, and tossed her against it. She bounced once before he pinned her to the bed and flipped her on her stomach. He pressed her head against the comforter, the dark blue looking striking against the black of her hair. her adjusted her so that her rear was stuck in the air and then he went down and licked her folds, already wet from earlier angry teasing.

She moaned and her hands clutched at the comforter. She gasped and wriggled, breathing rapidly. He growled approval and took to his knees behind her. He adjusted himself just before her opening and then dove into her. She cried out and her hands gripped harder. He immediately began to pound his length within her, the position teetering her on the edge of pain and pleasure. She was jerked forward and back with every thrust and reached down, her hand moving along the bundle of nerves that always brought her such intense pleasure.

She was reaching her completion quickly and he was unsurprised when she orgasmed with a scream of his name. He continued his relentless assault on her core and pressed her further into the mattress. He stopped briefly in order to adjust to a knew position. He sat, his back against the head board and had her ride his member. She rocked her hips back and forth, rolling him over that spot and bounced atop him. His lips came to suckle her breasts as he bit each one having her arch into his mouth yet again.

She whimpered and moaned, writhing above him, dancing her erotic dance. He held her hips and helped her along, watching entranced with as her facial expressions changed from one moment to the next. She reached up and held onto his shoulders as she increased her pace. She moved her hips skillfully though this was her first time doing this, usually he was in control and never really allowed her to be on top. This time he demanded it of her and she rose to the occasion.

They went together, the pleasure increasing as he thrust shallowly into her as they rode the pleasure out together. They sat there, breathing for a few moments the silence deafening as she looked up at him.

"You went inside of me." she murmured.

"So I did." he said back softly.

She squealed and held onto him.

A month of sex and never had he gone inside her because of 'accidental pregnancies'.

Who would have thought it made her happy when he finally did?



The scent of bacon woke him from his overly active night induced sleep. He sat up and looked around the bed, the aroma tantalizing him and causing his stomach to growl with hunger. He grumbled as he swung his legs over the bed, hearing Kagome in his kitchen. He pulled on a clean pair of boxers, running a hand through his long silver hair. He yawned widely behind a hand and then stood up, greeting the morning. For a moment, he though Kagome had company but then he realized she was singing.

... you got one shot to be with me

You know you drive me crazy

But I know how to take your breath away so let's go!

He arched a brow, leaning against the door frame as he watched her prance about his kitchen in nothing more than overly large shirt. It took him a moment to realize it was one of his shirts and the thought made something within him warm. She had been living with him for a few weeks now and he had enjoyed every single moment of it. Kagome sang something that he had never heard, made bacon, and danced in his kitchen. It was something, a sight, he was quickly becoming accustomed to.

Well I don't care whats going down here

You can see me, and I can see you

He slipped into the kitchen and padded silently behind her. His hands came to rest on her hips and he brought her backward, pressing her back to his chest, his lips descending upon her neck softly. She tilted her head so he had better access as she toyed with the bacon and lowered the heat for just a moment. She turned in his embrace and continued singing, his lips ghosting over her flesh.

So lets skip this game, we both feel the same

And I'll show you enough to use

She leaned up and pressed her lips to his just as he pulled away from her and poured all her passion into that single kiss. She pulled away, winking, her lips touching the tip of his nose as she sang against his lips in a whisper, "All you do is run through my head... are you getting tired yet?" she ended the song with another smile and a kiss and the bacon slowly burning as he made love to her against the refrigerator.



They lay there together on the couch as he talked about his life and she about hers, their entangled with the others. It was relaxing. It was refreshing. Several months had gone by and she had made contact with Inuyasha whom was baffled by the whole couple thing and then relatively accepting. He only wanted her happy, after all. There was lots of cursing and threatening though. She also found her other youkai relations and they all slipped into life relatively well together. Now though, they just enjoyed one anothers company.

It was new.

He felt light.

" - it was had to be the silliest thing Souta and I had ever done - " she continued to ramble and he looked over her. The way her eyes sparkled when she spoke, her tinkling laughter when she found something something particularly amusing. He enjoyed seeing her wandering in the mornings in nothing but his shirt. He loved when she would bounce awake early and tackle him from sleep. He liked the impromptu picnics and the random flying leaps she issued him.

He enjoyed watching her facial expressions when they made love and loved to see how many different ways she could say his name.

He loved everything about her.

He stopped for a moment.

He loved her.

It was a shocking revelation for the taiyoukai. He had no intention of keeping her in the beginning. She was something different. She had known of youkai, of a past that everyone had forgotten, she had been an obligation but she had turned into more than that. He tried to imagine life without her and he just couldn't. That life seemed empty somehow. He didn't want an empty life now that he had her. he never wanted that again. So he would take steps to ensure it never happened.

" - then we fell out of a tree - "

"I love you." Step One: Complete.

" - Mama was so - wait, what did you say?" Kagome asked as incredulity sparkled her voice, her eyes wide with shock.

"I love you. Mate me." he murmured gently. Step two: Complete.

"Sesshoumaru, have you even thought -" his finger covered her lips.

"Notice how it wasn't a question."

His lips fell upon hers and she said 'yes' several times through out the night.



"You drive me crazy, you know that, right?" Kagome asked as she lay sprawled upon his chest.

"Kagome, you were labeled clinically insane when I met you." he chuckled, mirth flowing through his eyes.

"Hmm, well, maybe you're crazy too." she grouched.

"Yes, I do believe I must be insane to fall in love with a flighty thing like you." instead of responding with 'righteous' anger she sat up and stared down at him, her eyes softer than he had ever seen.

"I found my sanity you." she murmured gently and then her eyes twinkled. "While you found insanity in me."

He only smiled and then she jumped on him yelling nonsense about being 'flighty'.






I felt like doing a one-shot. I am madly in love with this pairing right about now.

I thought it would be cute if Kagome was crazy.

It was told in twenty snippets as you can tell considering I didn't want to write a full length story on it.

I hope it wasn't overly rushed.

Let me know what you thought of it :)


Kagome Yuki Niwa


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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