Welcome to Dokuga Inc. by Quiet Whisper

Enter If You Dare

A/N: I got attacked by another ebil plot bunneh... don't worry i'm not giving up on Death's New Mistress, but this was begging to be posted.

Anywho this is my version of what would happen if Dokuga were a real place and what would happen if Sesshomaru and Kagome decided to destroy it. I've asked people for their permission to post them in this story and i have no guarantees as to what will happen... all i know is it will most likely be weird or something like that. Anywho here's the beginning, I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot bunneh that made me do this....

Prologue

“Are you absolutely sure you want to risk going into this place?” Kagome asked as they pulled up to the two storied building.

“Yes, I’ve had enough of their pranks and ‘story-lines’.” Sesshomaru growled as he put the car in park and turned it off before leaning forward to peer up at the building through the windshield.

“Well alright then, let’s get this over and done with.” She sighed as she pulled her baseball cap and sunglasses on.

“Hn,” He grunted as he followed suit then grabbed the keys and climbed out of the car.

Both of them were wary as they headed through the too silent parking lot towards the too innocent looking building. It was nondescript as most buildings went; made up of windows and dark grey bricks, and in fact the only interesting things about it was the large red and white sign that read Dokuga Inc. and the twenty foot high metal fence that surrounded it.

“Man this place gives me the creeps.” She muttered as she shuffled closer to her companion only to get a dark look in response. “Don’t give me that look damnit; I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you.”

“So you enjoy getting put into compromising situations with myself on a regular basis?” He arched an eyebrow at her. “Not to mention being put in the position of calling me ‘daddy’-“

Kagome hissed and yanked on his arm. “We agreed to never bring that up, remember?”

“Indeed.” He smirked before turning back to the gate.

“Alright let’s just hurry this up already.” She muttered as he inspected the intercom system.

“Fascinating,” He mused as he turned to look at the camera that was pointed directly at them. “I wonder what all this security is for.”

“Why don’t you ask someone?” She gestured overly-sweetly to the intercom.

He shot her another look before pressing the button.

“Are you human?” A voice called out through the speaker.

“Um…” Kagome trailed off as she shared a look with Sesshomaru before looking back at the intercom. “Yes?”

“Are you a fan of the Sesshomaru and Kagome pairing?”

Kagome slapped a hand over Sesshomaru’s mouth before he could say no, knowing that if he did so there was no way they were going to get in, not with the barbed wire that lined every inch of the twenty foot high fence. “Yes of course, would we be here if we weren’t?”

“If only you knew hon.” The voice replied. “Alright I’ll buzz you in, please keep all body parts on the sidewalk and proceed directly to the entrance.”

“Why?” Sesshomaru asked.

“Because the grass is the breeding ground of all the ebil plot bunnehs.” The voice said in a low hiss. “Beware the plot bunnehs, they attack without provocation and once stuck to you, it’s nearly impossible to get them off.”

“Right,” Kagome said weakly as she started scanning the seemingly harmless grass that lie on either side of the sidewalk.

“Great then I’ll see you in a few moments!” The now cheery voice cooed before there was a buzzing and a clicking sound.

Once more the two shared a look before Sesshomaru pushed the gate open and they stepped through; both jumped and turned back when the gate closed with an overdramatic clanging sound followed by evil laughter.

“Still think this was a good idea?” Kagome muttered as they cautiously made their way towards the door.

“Simple sound affects; apparently writing people in ridiculous situations isn’t the only thing these fanatics are capable of.” He murmured as he scanned the grass for any signs of movement. After all he was here to destroy the place and everything that was associated with it; it wouldn’t do to have one of their ridiculous plot bunnies attach itself to him.

Kagome had just opened her mouth to say something when the sound of a window shattering startled them both and drew their attention to the second floor. Both watched with wide eyes as a hideous looking troll of sorts was tossed out the window, kicking and screaming.

“And stay out!” A woman in a blue bunny suit called out from inside the window.

“Eh?” Kagome asked intelligently as the figure disappeared; she shifted her gaze back to the troll, who had now landed in the bushes and was struggling to get free.

Suddenly there was a shrieking sound and the long grass began to rustle like mad.

“I think we should run now.” Kagome said shakily as she clung to his arm.

“Do not be foolish.” He muttered as he flexed his claws, preparing for a fight.

Neither was expecting what happened next; before either could react, the troll shot out of the bushes, screaming wildly as dozens upon dozens of furry critters shot out of the grass and attached themselves to the hapless troll.

“Oh my god!” Kagome exclaimed when she realized that the furry critters were bunnies; with claws, glowing red eyes, and fangs.

“Evil plot bunnies indeed,” Sesshomaru murmured then narrowed his eyes when one of the bunnies looked their way and hissed.

“We need to run now!” Kagome exclaimed.

Deciding she was right for once, they both started running as several other bunnies hissed and altered course. For several moments it seemed as if neither of them was getting anywhere while the bunnies continued to close the distance; then all at once they found themselves in front of the door, almost as if it appeared magically.

Sesshomaru wasted no time in yanking it open before they both dove in, tumbling to the ground.

“Damnit I really need to talk to Skye about putting those bunnehs in a pen.” The voice from the intercom grumbled. “Get back you ebil critters or I’ll get the Industrial Ebil Plot Bunneh Shredder!”

Sesshomaru rolled over and sat up then watched as the woman swatted at the few bunnies that got through the door with a stick. When only one remained she put the stick aside and used her foot to propel the bunny out the door before slamming it shut.

“And stay out!” She yelled she shook a fist at the closed door.

“This was so a bad idea.” Kagome muttered as she pushed herself into a sitting position while fixing her disguise.

“I’m really sorry about that, usually they aren’t so volatile unless someone steps on the grass.” The woman said as she turned to face them.

First inspection told them that she was seemingly normal; dressed in black capris and a red t-shirt that said Thing 1 on it, with her shoulder length dark purple locks pulled back into two low pigtails.

“Perhaps it has something to do with a woman in a bunny suit tossing a troll out the window?” Sesshomaru said dryly as he climbed to his feet before pulling Kagome up as well.

“Aw man that’s the second one this week.” The girl grumbled as she retreated to a desk piled high with papers of all sorts and a computer; located on the wall behind her was a high tech computer monitor that showed all kinds of things and seemed to be randomly updating on its own. “Damn trolls have nothing better to do than to show up here and mess with our mojo.”

“What would a troll want with Dokuga Inc?” Kagome asked curiously.

“They like to bog down the system with their crap and ruin everyone’s good time.” She shrugged then shook herself before plastering a huge smile on her face. “But never mind that, welcome to Dokuga Inc!”

“Indeed.” Sesshomaru muttered.

“Well first things first; since I haven’t seen either of you around, I’m going to assume your new right?” She asked as she started rifling through the pile of papers.  

“Yes.”

“Alrighty then, before we can proceed I need you both to set up your own accounts.”

“For what purpose?” He asked warily.

“Well it’s simple really; you can’t get around without your passes.” She said as if he were dense.

“But we could on the computer at home.” Kagome said curiously.

“Well that’s because we have no control over what you look at on the net at home.” The girl said patiently. “Being here though is something entirely different, only members are allowed in Dokuga Inc. We have enough craziness going on without having random people just pop in to run amok.”

“I see.” Sesshomaru said then looked over as the door that led to the interior of the building flew open.

“Hey Whisper care to try our newest invention?” A guy wearing a t-shirt with a pair of anime boobs printed on it and a pair of jeans asked as he emerged with a covered platter.

“Oh dear what is it this time?” Whisper sighed. “Don’t tell me its Jaken stew again.”

“Even better,” He grinned as he set the platter down and pulled the lid off. “Tentacle of Naraku with essence of Kikyou.”

“Ok Walter that’s disgusting.” She wrinkled her nose as she pushed the plate with ash covered tentacles away. “Hell that’s even worse than Jaken steak with essence of Kagome.”

“I rather liked that one myself.” Walter chuckled while licking his lips in a lecherous manner.

“You would ya pervert.” Whisper shook her head then made a shooing motion. “Alright take this crap and get out of here I have new people to add to the system before I take them on the tour.”

“Oh alright,” He sighed as he covered the platter and picked it up. “But seriously you should stop in the kitchen later; one of the girls mentioned something about Sesshomaru buns with butter.”

“Now that sounds good!” Whisper exclaimed while the newest male member shuddered.

“I thought you’d like that, later Whisper!” Walter waved as he headed through the door.

“That man’s the strangest pervert I’ve ever met.” Whisper muttered and shook her head before offering the stunned pair an apologetic look. “Sorry about that, he’s a little… off.”

“Who was that?” Kagome asked.

“None other than Walter205,” Whisper sighed. “He’s the resident weirdo/depraved/just plain strange guy.”

“May we get on with the registration process now?” Sesshomaru ground out.

“Yes of course.” She said as she picked up two clipboards and pens. “Just fill those out for me please and I’ll get them added to the system.”

While the two started to fill out the requested forms, Whisper turned to her computer and typed something in before hitting enter.

“Excuse me?” Kagome asked as she approached her.

“Yes, do you have a question?” Whisper asked as she looked up from the screen.

“Well I’ve never really signed up for anything like this before, and I was just wondering what the parameters were for usernames?”

“Oh that’s simple really just use whatever comes to mind.” She smiled. “For example my username is Quiet Whisper and that was just a random thought that popped into my head one day.”

“Quiet Whisper?” Sesshomaru arched an eyebrow.

“Yes I know, it’s an oxymoron or whatever.” She said with a wave of her hand. “Everyone around here pretty much calls me Whisper though.”

“Hmm alright,” Kagome said as she tapped her chin in thought. “How about Kagsfan01?”

“Sounds great.” Whisper smiled. “And I don’t think that one’s been taken yet.”   

“Great.” She said as she handed the finished form back to her.

“And what did you pick for your user name?” Whisper asked when Sesshomaru handed her the form. “Killing Perfection I am… hmm I don’t think that one’s been taken, but let me check just to be sure.”

“Very well.” Sesshomaru said.

The two waited while Whisper added their information to the database. “Aha you’re in luck, that one hasn’t been taken yet.” She said as she finished up then turned to a printer just as it spit out two ids. “Alright here are your id’s, just let me get someone to cover for me up here and then I’ll take you on the tour.”

“Sounds good to us.” Kagome said as she looked at her pass. “Wow this is my first membership pass.”

 “Well congratulations.” Whisper smiled as she finished typing something. “Alright someone’s coming to take over for me, but we can just get started instead of waiting for them.”

“Good.” Sesshomaru said.

“Easy Killer, I know you’re excited but pace yourself. Trust me, there’s a lot to see here.” Whisper said as she led them over to the door. “Oh and I suppose I should warn you, if you see an ebil plot bunneh wandering around, don’t look at it!”

“Okay, but why?” Kagome asked.

“Because they only attach themselves to you once you’ve shared eye contact with them.” She said.

“Very well.” Sesshomaru said.

“Alrighty then, let’s get this tour going!” Whisper exclaimed enthusiastically before tugging them into the depths of Sesshomaru and Kagome’s worst nightmares.

~*~