Increase Text Size Decrease Text Size Divider Print This Chapter Divider

Faulty Fairytails by perphila

Jaken and the Beanstalk





“What! What! What do you want you....loud, annoying human?!”

Jaken stood panting and glaring up at his lords, what? What was she? Lower vassal? Ward? Pet? She certainly followed him around like a puppy. Maybe that was why his lord allowed her to stay. Her dog like qualities.

Can you tell Rin a story?”

Jaken's beak fell open in despair. He was doomed. He knew well enough he couldn't refuse. Once set upon an idea Rin didn't let it go. Not unlike a dog with a bone. He snorted, yet another example of her similarity with their lord.

If I do will you shut up and go to sleep?”

Rin hopped from one foot to the other in excitement.

Oh yes, Jaken-sama! Rin will be quiet and listen very carefully.”

He sighed and sat by the campfire, arms in his sleeves with the staff of two heads across his lap.

Rin pulled a blanket from one of Ah-Un's saddle bags and threw it over her shoulders before settling down across from Jaken, watching him expectantly through the sparking flames.

Clearing his throat, he took a deep breath and...


His eye twitched.

I thought you said you were going to...listen...quietly.”

Oh, Rin will Jaken-sama. Rin just wanted to ask that you tell a story about Sesshomaru-sama. You like to tell stories about yourself so Rin just wanted to...”

Enough! I get it! I get it!,” he squawked.

Taking a few deep breaths and checking to make sure Rin wouldn't interrupt, he began again.

One day while our lord was surveying the lands he came upon a helpless human female.”

Was it Rin?”

No! If you interrupt me again you can just go right to sleep!”

Rin gripped her blanket closer, head bowed.

Yes, Jaken-sama.”

Good. Now, ordinarily, this chance meeting would mean nothing to our lord. If weak humans choose to crawl off and die in the woods what does that have to do with Lord Sesshomaru?”

Oh, but Lord Sesshomaru would help because he is kind!”

Jaken said nothing and glared.

Sorry Jaken-sama,” Rin whispered.

It just so happened that our lord was already acquainted with this female, yet even this was not enough to deter him from his duty.”

He nodded to himself solemnly before continuing.

The stupid human was alone and covered in blood yet seemed hale and hearty. Not a usual combination. She was digging at the ground and placed something odd there.”

What was it?”

He knew she couldn't last long. Ignoring her he pressed on.

Sesshomaru-sama demanded to know why she was on his lands and what she was doing. The woman was of course frightened and awed to be in the presence of our lord and fell to her knees in tears. Sesshomaru-sama exhibited unheard of patience which the human was not deserving of as he waited for her to calm down enough to explain herself.”

What did she say?”

She told a tall tale of a demon that lived in the clouds of immense size.”

Rin gasped as large pops from the fire shot up to the sky.

It was nonsense of course. Yet our lord continued to listen as she told him of how her friends had been captured by this demon and how he was known to grind up the bones of his victims to make bread out of them.”

Is that even possible?”

Didn't I just say it was nonsense!”

Yes, Jaken-sama.”

The woman claimed she was planting magic seeds in the ground which were supposed to grow a giant plant. One that would grow tall enough to reach the clouds that were the demon's home. She planned on climbing it and then somehow find and save her friends.”

She sounds very brave.”

No! She was a foolish human!”

Yes, Jaken-sama.”

He watched Rin's face in the orange glow of the fire light wondering if she had already figured out who the woman in the story was. He often called Rin a stupid human but he knew she was far too clever for her own good.

The woman claimed that one of her companions had wounded the demon and it was his blood that covered her body. Sesshomaru-sama told her the demon must surely be dead losing that much blood. Yet, she actually contradicted him by saying the demon had only been scratched. It only looked like a vast amount of blood due his size.”

Rin blinked several times and Jaken knew she was beginning to get sleepy.

Our lord turned to walk away. After all, the tale was too absurd to believe. The woman accosted Sesshomaru-sama putting a bloody hand on his sleeve begging for his assistance. Just before I was certain she was to be killed by the claws of our lord the ground shook and from the spot she claimed to have planted the magic seeds a giant beanstalk grew.”


I was there!”

Yes, Jaken-sama”

Sesshomaru-sama who has never backed down from a challenge chose to confront this supposed threat to his lands.”

See? I told you Sesshomaru-sama was kind.”

Jaken shook his fist at her.

It was to protect his lands not to help the human!”

Yes, Jaken-sama.”

Jaken threw a stick on the fire and sat back.

Outside of the sounds of the fire silenced reigned.

What happened next Jaken-sama?”

I'm not sure. All I know is Sesshomaru-sama left with the human and a short time later the ground shook again. This time more violently than before.”

You were left behind, again.” Rin nodded with the certainty of experience.

I was not left behind!”

He huffed and looked away.

What is known for certain is Sesshomaru-sama was victorious and the human was indebted.”


Yes, for months after she brought small gifts to our lord and left them by a small well for him to collect.”


Yes, teas, snacks for Ah-Un, trinkets and eventually things meant for you. Hair ornaments and such.”

Rin yawned and lay down for the night.

Jaken smirked in victory at her human need for sleep.

The flames from the fire had died down and Jaken also began to settle himself for the night. He didn't need sleep he just enjoyed it.

Jaken-sama?” Rin mumbled.


Remind Rin to thank Kagome-sama for the things she gave Rin when Rin sees her next.” Rin's final words trailing off into sleep.

Jaken's eyes popped open. He should have known he couldn't fool her.



I know I didn't make the color very obvious but I hope everyone figure figured out I was going for Orange. Mainly, from the fire and such. 


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
No money is being made from the creation or viewing of content on this site, which is strictly for personal, non-commercial use, in accordance with the copyright.