Like a ninja! And other such randomness. by Hairann

Like a Ninja!

Rules: Sesshoumaru can only say 'like a ninja' at least until it gets to the end :).  And it's gotta be kept clean.

Authors: Hairann, Ikaru, Exxie and a cameo by Monti.  (Decided to leave names in this time so everyone can get proper credit.)

Warnings: Do not drink soda, coffee, milk, water or any other beverage while reading as your screen may become dirty.

^^^

Hairann: The crisp, cool morning dawned on the small clearing, silent save for the soft chirping of little birdies as they awoke from their nests and took to the sky. On the ground below, a silent, but oh so deadly, demon cracked open one golden eye, watching as they fluttered away. "Like a ninja," he decided before closing his eye once again, deciding to get in a bit more rest before it was time to move on once again. Though another of the clearing's occupants had a different idea as she slowly crept over to the resting demon, ever so quietly standing on her tip toes, gently placing a small, yellow flower behind one of his elf like pointed ears. Curious as to what she was doing, the demon opened his golden eyes to look down at her as he raised a single, elegant eyebrow at her in question. "Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin picked a pretty flower for you," she explained with her custom brilliant smile adorning her face. "Like a ninja," the great demon lord replied.

Ikaru: Rin's little eyes opened wide in amazement. Her lord was acting rather strangely, but didn't seem to notice. Rin shrugged and walked back to her little flower patch. Sesshoumaru decided it was time to get up, if Rin was up then that would mean Jaken would soon be squawking like a dying turkey. Resigning himself to another day, he rose. Something seemed a little off, but he just shrugged it off.

Hairann: All too soon, the moment he dreaded would arrive, did so, as the small, green toad, or perhaps he was an imp, the demon lord had never really been sure, arose from his slumber and shattered the quiet clearing with what could only be described as clucking. The great, all powerful, demon lord calmly removed his boot, throwing it at the smaller demon, giving himself two points when said boot lodged firmly in Jaken's open mouth. "Like a ninja," Sesshoumaru commented to himself before turning his attention back to the smaller demon and gesturing for him to return his boot. The small green, whatever he was, yanked said boot out of his mouth with a bit of coughing, before wiping it down with his kimono, causing the hem to rise up just far enough that the poor demon lord had a clear view of his thighs. Doing his best not to lose his dinner from the night before, Sesshoumaru shivered in disgust as he griped, "Like a ninja."

Ikaru: The day progressed smoothly after that. Rin fell asleep on Ah-Un shortly after they had begun traveling for the day. Unfortunately about midday they had run into the Inutachi. As usual Inuyasha jumped the gun and pulled out his sword. The rest of his group was standing back and letting Inuyasha handle it as usual. The miko was trying to reason with the hanyou, but as usual he wasn't listening. "What the hell do you want Sesshoumaru?!?!" he yelled

Hairann: startling those around him, though truthfully they should have been used to his loud, obnoxious voice by now. "Like a ninja," Sesshoumaru explained, as though it should have been obvious even to him. "Like a what now?" Inuyasha inquired as he gave his hated half-brother a look clearly stating he thought he was nuts. "Like a ninja," Sesshoumaru repeated, glaring at the younger, half-demon. Confused, Inuyasha turned toward Sesshoumaru's companions to see if they could offer any light as to why he was acting odder than usual, but was merely met with two half-hearted shrugs. Deciding they would be no help, he turned toward his own companions, but sadly, was met by the same reactions. "Okay Sesshoumaru, let's try this one more time. Like a what?" Inuyasha questioned as he turned his attention once again back to the demon lord. "LIKE...A....NINJA...," Sesshoumaru replied, enunciating each word slowly so as to not confuse the poor, idiotic half-demon.

Ikaru: "What the hell Sesshoumaru? Did you hit your head or somethin?" Inuyasha said cocking his head to the side and lowering his guard. "Like a ninja?" Sesshoumaru said, becoming irritated. "Umm Sesshoumaru, I think something is the matter with you. You haven't upset any dark miko lately have you?" Kagome said, walking up to Inuyasha's side. "Like a ninja." Sesshoumaru said still uncertain as to what they were referring to.

Hairann: "Strange, perhaps it is some kind of curse, as Lady Kagome seems to be implying. Though I have never seen one that forces a demon to only say one odd line," Miroku admitted as he too moved to stand next to Inuyasha, eying the demon lord with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. "Like a ninja?" Sesshoumaru questioned as he looked back and forth between the two humans wondering what had gotten into them. They were usually weird, in his opinion, but this was far worse than he had ever seen them. Unsure of what else to do, the demon lord glanced back toward his young ward and instructed, "Like a ninja." Rin cocked her head to the side with a large grin, before nodding her head and bouncing off on a flower picking adventure, apparently having decided that since he had said 'like a ninja' to her that morning after she had given him a flower, it translated to 'get flowers'. Sesshoumaru watched her skip off in bemusement before shaking his head at her antics and turning toward Jaken. "Like a ninja," he once again instructed, this time to the small imp toad thingy, with a loud sigh, nodded his beaked head. "I understand, Sesshoumaru-sama," he mumbled before bounding off after the young girl, having decided that 'like a ninja' had translated to 'go watch Rin' in this case. More confused than he could ever remember being, Sesshoumaru watched the small demon take off before scratching his head. "Like a ninja," the great demon lord practically whined.

Ikaru: "Sesshoumaru sure is acting weird, huh mama?" Shippo said popping up on Kagome's shoulder. "Sesshoumaru you need to tell us what happened." Kagome said. "Like a ninja." Sesshoumaru said, he was becoming extremely irritated. "Um how about you just nod you head for yes and shake it for no?" Sango suggested. "Great idea Sango!!" Kagome said clapping her hands and smiling brightly. "Like a ninja?" Sesshoumaru said nodding to them.

Hairann: "Alright, so when did you start acting funky?" Inuyasha questioned, crossing his arms in front of his chest, only to be dolt slapped by Kagome. "Inuyasha, that is not a yes or no question, how is he supposed to answer it by shaking his head?" she inquired, rolling her chocolate eyes at him when he started to pout, before turning her attention back to the demon lord. "Have you pissed off any dark miko lately?" Kagome inquired. "Like a ninja," Sesshoumaru replied shaking his head no. "Do you know who did this to you?" Miroku chimed in. "Like a ninja," he repeated as he once again shook his head no. "Any idea why you can only say 'like a ninja'?" Inuyasha piped in hotly, giving his half-brother a smug look, clearly not at all sympathetic to his blight. "Like a ninja," Sesshoumaru continued his patten, head shaking no yet again.

Ikaru: "Hmm, do you feel any different than usual Milord?" Miroku asked, again Sesshoumaru shook his head no. "What the hell! This ain't gettin us nowhere!!!" Inuyasha said, his patience finally used up. "SIT BOY!" Kagome said, then smirked at the nice sized Inuyasha shaped crater he created. Sesshoumaru smirked as well, "Like a ninja." "Now that I think about it I think I might actually know what is wrong with you Sesshoumaru," Kagome said smiling. "You have been put under a spell I have seen before, however the remedy you aren't going to like..." Kagome said, looking a little nervous. "Like a ninja?" Sesshoumaru said, cocking his head to the side.

Hairann: Kagome thought about how she could explain this to him for a few moments, hoping he wouldn't realize just where her information had come from. Truthfully, she hadn't really heard of this happening to someone else, but as she had just been reading her fairytale book to Shippo the night before, she remembered that there was usually one sure fire way to break a spell. 'True love's first kiss'. Though she did kind of doubt the all powerful demon lord had a true love, but hey it was worth a shot in her opinion. "Okay Sesshoumaru, this is what you have to do. You must find your true love, and give him or her a kiss on the lips. It is the only way I know to break this kind of spell," she insisted when he started giving her a 'come again' look. "Like a ninja?" Sesshoumaru whined with a sigh as his shoulders fell in defeat.

Ikaru: Sesshoumaru looked around the group. Suddenly being a cold hearted demon lord wasn't such a good thing. Looking at his options, he either had to fall in love very soon or deal with never being able to say anything but 'Like a ninja' for the remainder of his days. Things weren't looking so good for him at the moment. Looking at the Inutachi, he noticed there were only two eligible females to choose from at the moment. The innocent miko, or the battle hardened slayer. The slayer was obviously already in love with the perverted monk, and the miko was his brother's. Hmm decisions decisions, who to steal from. He had no fight with the monk, however his brother was another story. He smirked and walked up to Kagome, took her hand and gently kissed her knuckles, before locking eyes with her and smiling.

Exxie: Kagome blinked in shock. She hadn't been expecting him to make an instant bee-line toward her person. She blushed at his touch and almost melted into butter when he had KISSED her hand. Sesshoumaru was either losing his mind or trying to make Inuyasha jealous. Either way, she couldn't disagree. He WAS the Western Lord after all. She might as well give him anything he wanted.

Hairann: Gasps were heard from the group at his actions, even Jaken and Rin stopped playing in a random field of wild flowers that she had some how discovered nearby, to stare at the demon lord in complete and utter shock. Inuyasha, on the other hand, began growling at the two of them. Sesshoumaru of course for kissing something he believed to be his, and Kagome for not only allowing him to, but to have the guts to act like she was enjoying the contact. "Like a ninja," Sesshoumaru whispered huskily as he wagged his eyebrows in a very Miroku like manner, causing a bright blush to rise up from Kagome's neck, disappearing some where passed her hairline. "Enough! Get your damn paws off of my wench!" Inuyasha demanded only to be ignored by them as Sesshoumaru lifted the stunned girl into his arms. "Like a ninja," he told his half-brother with a smirk before bounding off into the sky, completely forgetting all about his companions in the process.

Exxie: Rin watched in slight bliss. Her momma, or who she now thought of as her momma, and her father were FINALLY going to enjoy time together. How that time was spent she had no clue, not that she was completely ignorant, but she would rather play the blissfully oblivious child than the one everyone turned to when papa went missing with momma. She giggled lightly and tapped Jaken on the head, "You're it, Jaken-sama!" she called as she continued her game, knowing full well at her attempt to quiet things down wouldn't be ignored.

Ikaru: They all looked at Rin when she yelled, giving Sesshoumaru enough time to escape with Kagome.

With Sesshoumaru and Kagome...

Kagome was too caught up in the fact that Sesshoumaru had kissed her hand to notice that she was now currently miles from her friends. Sesshoumaru was smirking triumphantly inside at having pulled it off. He landed in a small clearing many miles away from her friends so that he could woo her in peace. The full moon was just beginning to rise in the sky as twilight gave way to night.

Hairann: Too caught up in watching the beautiful full moon begin its journey, Kagome hadn't noticed the demon lord watching her silently from behind. It wasn't until he had stalked up behind her, whispering into her ear in a deep husky voice, "Like a ninja," that she even remembered she was not alone. Startling at his voice, and the way his hot, moist breath fanned over the shell of her ear, Kagome nearly fell over onto her face. "Don't do that, you startled me," she insisted pinning him with a stern glare. "Like a ninja," Sesshoumaru replied as he shrugged his shoulders, as if he cared not whether or not he had startled her, and was likely to do it again.

Exxie: Kagome glared at the demon lord before bursting out in a fit of giggles. She carefully set herself upon the sparkling light blue flowers, holding her right side, tears budding at the corners of her eyes. She couldn't take him seriously anymore. She'd used up her energy back at the village, now all she could hear was the husky voiced demon lord whispering 'like a ninja', echoing through her mind. She could see mini Sesshoumaru's spinning around in her mind's eye and dressed in ninja outfits. She looked up at the light 'huff' noise emitted by the white man. "Like a ninja...." Lord Sesshoumaru growled, looking the other way. He was starting to curse his own existence at this point.

Ikaru: Still laughing and hugging her sides, she managed to gasp out..."I'm sorry Sesshoumaru, it's impossible to take you seriously right now," Kagome said sobering up a little bit, taking in the site of the pouting demon lord. "Like a ninja," he said pouting, finally noticing that it really was all he could say, he couldn't even lip sync any other words. His arms uncrossed and fell to his side, his only hope was to fall in love with Kagome and kiss her, but now he had to decide what he was going to do with her when he fell in love with her and made her fall in love with him. During his contemplating Kagome had finally stopped laughing. She walked up to his side, held his arm carefully with one hand and took his cheek with the other making him look at her. "Don't worry Sesshoumaru we'll figure out how to fix this," she said smiling kindly at him.

Hairann: "Like a ninja," he agreed softly, not really listening to her words of reassurance as he was too busy being captivated by the movement of her lips as she spoke. "Correct Sesshoumaru, like a ninja," she agreed as she leaned in the short distance and gently pressed her lips against his. 'Like a ninja?' was all he could think before finally shrugging and returning the gentle kiss. Unbeknownst to them, while they were too busy being lost in the kiss, shiny bright sparkles of light began appearing around them, swirling around their bodies as if moved by a powerful wind. And when the light show ended, Kagome opened her eyes to find her gazing into Jaken's big, yellow eyes. "What the?" she questioned in shock, shivering in disgust at the thought of kissing him. "Like a ninja?" 'Jaken' wondered in Sesshoumaru's voice, unaware of the change his body had gone through. Not knowing what else to do, Kagome squinted her eyes closed and holding her breath, quickly pecked him on the lips, hoping this kiss would undo what had happened to him. When she finally worked up the courage to open her chocolate eyes, she found herself once again gazing into Sesshoumaru's own cold, golden ones. Confused by her behavior, Sesshoumaru opened his mouth and said, ...

Exxie: "Miko, why must you make faces at me..?" he said before his mind ultimately wandered to a statement he had never realized might apply to him. Maybe she didn't want to kiss me..? Sadness...Sadness soaked his heart faster than he could stop and think about this reasonably....He had never felt this...this sadness. It was...What was that feeling humans felt when their emotion, love, was rejected..? He couldn't remembered.. Though the word was just on the tip of his tongue. He glanced at her own facial expression before grabbing her and sighing as he took a leap back from whence they had come. Looks like it was just a contract after all...True love wasn't real...Not for HIM anyway...No matter how badly he yearned for it.

Ikaru: "Wait Sesshoumaru!!! Get us back to the ground NOW!!!" she yelled, hugging him for dear life. He looked at her confused for a moment, then turned back and landed in the clearing again and released her. She clung to him for a few moments to make her legs stop wobbling under her, before letting him go and looking at him. She gasped when she saw his hurt expression, any expression on him at all was a sure sign of danger for her. "Sesshoumaru you didn't see yourself after the first kiss...you turned into Jaken!!!" Kagome said blushing. "How do you think someone would look if they had to kiss that!!!" "What is it you speak of Kagome, I look as I always do?" Sesshoumaru said confused, then it dawned on him that he could speak again!! "Wait my voice has returned to normal!!" In his excitement he grabbed Kagome and swung her around smiling and laughing before kissing her senseless.

MontiK: Kagome braced her hands on Sesshoumaru's shoulders while she stared wide-eyed at his closed lids. He was kissing her.... her mine helpfully supplied. Okay.... so HE as in Sesshoumaru... was kissing... HER. Still staring at him she willed her body to move, do ANYTHING at this moment in time. Her best friend/first crush's too-hot-to-ever-be-mistaken-for-human big brother was kissing HER. And.... she couldn't move. She was Kagome Higurashi, and this was just her luck.

Hairann: Deciding it no longer matter to her just who or what he was, considering their kiss had broken the spell, which could only mean that she was his true love. So Kagome did what she always did, deciding to go with the flow and allowed herself to get lost in his kiss. Finally the two of them parted, both gasping for breath, and she gazed up at him with flush cheeks as he in turn gazed down at her, an ever so slight, smirk gracing his handsome features. Leaning down, so his lips just barely touched her ear, Sesshoumaru whispered, "Like a ninja." 

The End

 

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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