What's Tomorrow Without You? by Mistress Morbid

Ghosts of the Past

A/N: I suck at writing summaries, so please don't gauge this story on that alone. ^^;

This is my first fanfiction and I'm very excited about it. It will be focused on the Sesshoumaru/Kagome pairing (though it may not seem evident at first - I will be taking my time building up that relationship, so have patience. ^_~). Please let me know what you think. I'm planning on this being a lengthy project, so any reviews or thoughts you give will help keep me motivated to continue!

This series would probably take place after the ending of the anime (the lack of resolution makes it easier to build upon with a new story). I'm trying to stay as close to canon as I can so hopefully it all falls into place.

This story was very inspired by the song 'Love You To Death' by Kamelot. You may catch certain references to the song's lyrics within the story.

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Chapter 1 - Ghosts of the Past

The spider's legs enfolded her, crushing her body in their powerful grip. She gagged on the stench of the thing, beating her fists ineffectually against the hard chitin of its body. Venomous fangs approached her face, the serrated edges dripping with fluid. She tried to scream but her lungs only filled with the toxic miasma.

"Inuyasha..." she choked out, tears stinging her eyes and her chest burning from the poisonous fog. The creature laughed in a cold merciless voice, red eyes gleaming with malice. It tightened its grip, and she felt her ribs snap. Agony tore through her as she was slowly squeezed to death, unable to breathe or even scream out. The pain was unbearable. She was dimly aware of a voice as darkness began to bleed into her vision.

I will find you...you will never escape from me...

Kagome gasped into consciousness, breathing heavily. Her heart felt like it was about to burst through her ribcage. She placed a palm against her clammy forehead, sitting up against the pillows. It took a moment to get her bearings. Bedroom...check. In my own apartment...check. Demon spiders...negative. Still having messed up dreams when I'm twenty...check.

She groaned when she saw her clock displaying 7:42 AM. A futile glance out of her window confirmed the hour with the lightness of the sky. She had fifteen minutes.

"Crap." she muttered, rolling out of bed and heading for the bathroom. She flipped on the light, squinting against the sudden brightness.

Kagome eyed the shower for a moment but realized she probably didn't have enough time. Work was already giving her hell for her recent tardiness, so she grabbed her hair and bunched it into a ponytail. She held a hairband between her lips as one hand groped about for a brush.

"Gah!" she exclaimed, dropping the ponytail and the hairband at the same time. A small spider had scurried over her hand from beside the sink. Though normally unconcerned by the occasional insect in her household, this particular morning left her feeling uneasy towards the arachnid. Shuddering, she flung the thing into the sink and turned the tap on. Small legs scrabbled at the rim of the drain for a moment before disappearing beneath the torrent of water.

"After all these years, I still have nightmares about Naraku..." she said in a quiet voice. "Creepy bastard."

It was disturbing how frequent the recurring nightmares were becoming. Over the past week Kagome had woken up every night terrified after another dream encounter with Naraku. The stress of them was causing her to be late to work. That battle had ended over three years ago, yet it seemed that lately her mind had been dwelling on it.

Shaking the distracted thoughts from her head, Kagome reached for her toothbrush and continued to get ready. She didn't have time to be brooding on the past. She'd be lucky if she managed to catch the bus at this rate.

By the time she left the apartment and rushed over to the bus stop it was just preparing to leave. She sprinted down the block, waving her arms in hopes that someone would spot her coming. Fortunately the driver caught sight of the distressed girl and waited for her to board.

Kagome flashed her bus pass and moved to a seat with an audible sigh of relief. "Phew, just made it."

The bookstore she worked at was owned by an old friend of her grandfather's. It was a humble job, but she was grateful for the opportunity. With all the school she had missed as a teenager she was in no position to find something better. The store was notably popular however, and was in a busy section of downtown. The pay was decent, so Kagome had started to look for an apartment nearby soon after getting employed. She lucked out finding a small flat downtown and with affordable rent. She'd been living independently for just over a year now.

As the streets blurred by out the window, Kagome couldn't help thinking back. In some ways it seemed as though an eternity had passed since going through the well that first time. She'd spent the better part of her teenage years in another world, another time. She could still recall with surprising clarity the wonders and trials she'd faced in the feudal era.

It had taken so many years to finally defeat Naraku. That battle was supposed to have been the end. The end of their suffering, the end of their fears. The start of something meaningful.

But it was the end of so much more...

"Kagome, listen..." Inuyasha's voice had been rough, almost hoarse.

She sat beside him on the bough of the tree, her hands tightening painfully on the rough bark. Her eyes were focused straight ahead, staring blankly without emotion. She knew what was coming. She'd tried to prepare herself for the inevitable conversation, but she knew it would be one of the hardest things she'd ever have to do.

"Now that Naraku's been defeated, we're all trying to piece together our lives again. Look, I know this isn't fair to you, but Kikyo....Kikyo needs me. I can't just leave her the way she is. Naraku was the one who tore us apart. I don't know what you want to do...you know you'll always be welcome here. I just don't want to hurt you."

Kagome's mouth turned up into a smile that felt more like a grimace. "It's alright, I understand." Before the tears could start, she pushed herself off of the branch. The tree was a tall one, and the height was a little more than she'd anticipated. She landed with a grunt, but ignored the pain and kept moving.

"Hey, Kagome!" Inuyasha called after her as if she were crazy. "What are you doing!?"

She started to run, trying to block his voice from her head.

"Kagome!"

Inuyasha's visage was still fresh in her mind as the bus jolted her from the memory. Blinking out of her reverie, she realized that her stop was coming up soon and pulled the cord. She thanked the driver as she hopped off the bus and made her way towards Maruyama Books, which could be seen up ahead.

A flurry of thoughts berated her as she walked. Despite her best efforts to focus on the present, the past always had a way of popping up when she least expected. She knew it was a time she would never forget, but there were certain things she was better off not thinking of. Looking up, she decided to shove it all into a corner of her mind for now and try to do her best at work. Thankfully she wasn't late today, so her mood improved as she neared the door.

"Good morning!" she called out, letting herself in despite the closed sign.

A young man poked his head out from behind a shelf. "Kagome! Nice to see you here so early." He grinned at her.

"Oh, hello Hideki. Yeah I managed to get here on time today despite some troubles. How's your father doing?"

"Well, not bad I suppose. The doctors wanted him to take some time off from work though, so I'll be pulling a lot of shifts for the next while."

Hideki Maruyama was the youngest son of her grandfather's friend. His father owned the store, but due to his old age Hideki had been taking the brunt of the workload. He was a kind, reliable person who Kagome had been warming up to since she started there. He didn't try to hide his interest in her either, despite their age difference. He was almost six years older than her, yet Kagome hardly noticed.

"Are you alright, Kagome? You look as though you have a lot on your mind."

She smiled at him and shook her head. "No, nothing really. I just haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused."

His expression turned to concern. "I know my father can be strict sometimes, but being a little late for a few days isn't that big of a deal. You're a great worker here, and you've got nothing to apologize for. If you're not feeling well just let me know and I'll get someone to cover you. I know how bad your health was a few years ago."

Kagome's cheeks colored as she remembered the absurd illnesses her grandfather would always come up with to excuse her long absences. It seemed as though the reputation of having a weak immune system would follow her forever.

"Really, I'm fine!" she insisted, flexing her arms in a show of strength. "Just let me know what needs to be done today, and I'll get right on it."

The day passed with relative normalcy, something that Kagome was both grateful for and resentful of. Her existence seemed so dull right now, yet she knew she should be glad for being able to lead a normal life again. Her mother had told her a few years back that the best thing for her to do would be to move on and try to find something new. She had done just that - moving out of her house and finding her own apartment, getting a job, looking into some school options for the future. She even had a potential love interest, but for some reason she just wasn't happy.

At closing time Hideki offered her a ride home, but she politely declined and said the bus ride gave her a chance to wind down and relax. He smiled at that and wished her a good night, saying he'd see her tomorrow then.

Kagome glanced at her watch as she left the building, wondering if she should pay a visit to her family. It had been a while since she'd last been to the shrine, maybe spending some time there would help sort out her confused thoughts.

Changing her mind at the last moment, she hurried across the street to the opposite bus stop which would take her towards her old house. The sun was just starting to set, and she found herself looking forward to the long ride.

***

"Sis!" her brother's voice called out to her as she ascended the steps up towards the shrine. She was a little out of breath from the hike, but smiled warmly as Souta came over to meet her.

"Hey, how did you know I was here?"

"I was just sweeping the front and heard someone coming up the steps. Mom's going to be so happy!"

Kagome followed her brother over to the house. It always surprised her how tall he was getting, he was nearly fourteen already. She gazed around wistfully as they walked. The familiarity of the shrine grounds was comforting, and she smiled as she looked up at Goshinboku.

"Oh Kagome, it's so good to see you!" her mother exclaimed when she entered. Kagome went to give her a hug, not realizing how much she'd missed her.

"Thanks Mom. It's good to see you too."

"Is everything going alright at work? Do you have enough money?" her mother held her at arm's length to scrutinize her.

"Everything's fine, Mom. I'm doing really well on my own." her smile felt a little forced.

"Alright dear. I'm glad to hear that. How about I make some tea?"

Kagome indulged in the pleasant surroundings of home as her mother prepared the tea. Everything looked just as it had when she left. It felt like a solid rock in the midst of the changing tides that were her life.

"Oh, thank you," she said as she accepted a cup her brother held out to her. She took a long, slow draught of the tea. It was delicious and soothing, the warmth relaxing her to her core. "Where's Grandpa?"

Souta peered out of the kitchen window. "I think he's still doing something over in the store house. He was going on about some evil auras earlier."

Kagome laughed. It sounded just like her grandfather. "I'm glad to know he's still as active as ever. I think I'll go say hi to him."

"Ask him if he'd like a cup of tea, dear." her mother called after her.

"Sure thing, Mom!"

Kagome pulled her jacket closed as she stepped out into the cool night air. Sure enough, as she neared the store house she could hear a commotion of rustling boxes and muttering. "Oh Grandpa..." she sighed with a smile.

She found her grandfather in the middle of pulling down half the contents of the shelves. Opened boxes and jars were scattered about the floor of the tiny room, and a small pile of charms and written sutras were stacked to the side. "Grandpa, what on earth are you doing?"

"Oh, Kagome! M'dear it's been a long time hasn't it? Quickly, put this on," he said as he lowered a necklace of assorted baubles over her head.

"What's this for?" she asked, fingering the odd piece of jewelry.

"There's evil gathering tonight, I can feel it in these old bones. Those charms should protect you. I was just about to erect a barrier around the house here."

Kagome tilted her head with a smile of resignation. She was used to his antics by now. "Well I doubt anything's going to attack the shrine tonight, Grandpa. Mom just put some tea on, why don't you come-"

Suddenly a throbbing pain brought Kagome to her knees. She grasped at her chest, feeling a strange heaviness there. It sent tendrils of agony through her body along with a strange feeling that tingled on the edge of her senses.

"Kagome? Kagome, what's wrong!?" her grandfather was at her side immediately. "Souta! Souta come out here quickly!" he called.

Kagome tried to even out her ragged breathing. Her eyes were wide and fearful. Just before she had collapsed she'd felt an evil aura that had dissipated immediately. There was no trace of it now, but for just a moment she thought...

Her brother arrived just then and tried to lift her with the help of their grandfather. "Sis, what happened?"

"I'm alright Souta," her voice was shaky. "I just felt ill for a second. Don't worry, I can walk."

The three of them shuffled back to the house. "Maybe I should go lie down for a minute. I think I'm just tired." Kagome said after getting inside. Her mother looked anxiously towards her.

She made her way upstairs to her old room and fell back onto the bed. What's going on lately? she thought to herself. Everything had been trudging along at such a normal pace. Why did this week have to be so strange?

There was a gentle knock on her door. "Sis?..." came the hesitant voice from the hallway. Her brother opened the door a crack.

"Hey Souta...come on in."

He let himself into the room and sat down at her old desk. "Are you sure you're doing alright? You don't seem well. In more ways than one." He gave her a meaningful look.

Kagome avoided his gaze for a moment. When did he become so perceptive? she asked herself.

Oh. Right. Maybe when he grew up a bit? It saddened her to think that she'd been absent for most of his development. On the positive side, he seemed to have turned into a reliable younger brother.

"Listen, I know you've been avoiding everything for years now," he continued. "Don't you think you left too many loose ends though? You haven't even been there in...well, I don't know how long. A long time. I'm sure they miss you." He crossed his arms in a 'You know I'm right' sort of way.

"It's...a lot more complicated than that Souta. I know you're trying to help, but that's all in the past now. I can't keep dwelling on it or it will tear me apart. It's best to just move on."

She thought back to when she had first made the decision never to go through the well again. It was right after she and Inuyasha had had that conversation. She'd fled back to her own time, too upset to deal with everything at that moment.

After a lot of solitary thought she had come to realize that she was no longer in love with him. She'd become so accustomed to spending time with Inuyasha, that her heart hadn't questioned anything. She knew him; she was so used to being with him that the thought of breaking it off would have been so shattering and sudden. She didn't know where she would have gone from there, so she'd clung tenaciously to what she had, what was familiar.

Their 'puppy love' had indeed been blossoming into a relationship at one point, but as the years went by and they matured, Kagome found that it wasn't what her naive fifteen-year-old heart had expected. Too many times had she concealed her disappointment with a beaming smile. Too many times had she laid her emotions on the line, only to have them crushed. There was only so far her heart was willing to stretch. They were still friends of course, nothing could erase the past they shared, but something had definitely changed.

Her heart was aching, to be sure, but more for what could have been than what she had actually lost. By the time that Inuyasha chose Kikyo over her, well...it was expected. It hadn't come as much of a shock, it was more of a solid closure on that chapter of her life. That was what she regretted the most. While she still had her friendships, there was something definitive about the end of the battle with Naraku that seemed to close off all the future possibilities for her.

Everyone else belonged, they had a place to go to. Kagome was still stuck between worlds, she would never quite fit in either. She felt that going back would only complicate things. Sango and Miroku had moved on and were happy, Inuyasha and Kikyo were on their own path to wherever it might lead them. She was the fifth wheel, no matter how she looked at it.

She didn't want to deal with the uncomfortable situations, so she'd deftly avoided them altogether. Looking back, she realized it was childish, but there was no changing things now. The fact was that she had just run away.

Souta was being the reasonable one though. In truth Inuyasha was probably reluctant to come see her if she hadn't made any attempts to go back to the past. He most likely thought it would be painful for him to show up in front of her after choosing Kikyo, and didn't want to be a constant reminder of that. When she never showed up, well...she supposed he gave up on ever seeing her again.

A wave of sadness suddenly threatened to consume her. Three years of guilt and hurt unleashed themselves without warning. It washed over her, unrelenting, exposing all that she had been trying to keep hidden. If only she had an anchor with which to secure herself from that sorrow.

"Kagome?" her brother reached out towards her when he saw the tears.

That's when she felt it.

A tendril of youki brushed up against her, and it was so familiar that she hardly processed it at first. The heaviness in her chest began to throb again, but she winced through the pain and hurried to get downstairs. She had no idea what was going on, or what the pain she was experiencing was. All she knew was that she had to go find the source of that youki.

"Sis? What's going on? Kagome!"

Ignoring the questions that her family called after her, she burst out onto the shrine grounds.

Her heart was pounding, tears still drying on her cheeks. She ran towards the well house while trying to fend off an aggressive case of deja vu. Reaching the doors of the small building, she flung them open and stepped inside.

A figure in red sat there on the edge of the well. Strands of white hair lifted in the breeze and reflected the light now coming in through the doorway. Kagome stood there in shock, hardly daring to believe what she was seeing.

Inuyasha turned towards her, and the breath caught in her throat. His golden eyes came up to meet hers. They were hard and piercing.

"We've got trouble."