9 Crimes by Miss Kagura
9 Crimes
This story is now rated MA - not appropriate for anyone under 18, as of 3/25/12!!
Author's Note: The lyrics are from Damien Rice's '9 Crimes,' which I do not own. No money is being made from this humble fic.
Sesshoumaru's voice was cold, but his hands were so hot against her skin. The tips of his claws lightly combed against her scalp before they combed through her thick black hair. Carefully, Kagome extended a hand to do the same, unsure if she was allowed to touch him as he touched her.
"You are a very stupid girl," he huskily whispered in her ear before his tongue traced it.
Chills ran down Kagome's spine while the rest of her body only seemed to get warmer. He was right, she knew, and she shouldn't have been there. What Inuyasha did with Kikyou gave her no right to touch what was untouchable. He, however, registered no complaint.
She gave Inuyasha her love from the moment she saw that silly boy, and standing there, while her clothes were on the ground somewhere nearby, she knew that's all he was - just a boy. He was confused and hurt, but she was hurt too. Kagome wanted to be free from her love, and the only way she could do that was burn the bridge back to Inuyasha's arms, so he couldn't love her anymore.
The bark of a tree scraped her back when he pressed her against it.
"He'll never forgive me," she quietly murmured.
He kissed her mouth, pressing her naked chest against his. It felt amazing, yet that knowledge came with reminders that it was so wrong for her to be there, with Inuyasha's brother.
"You'll never forgive yourself," he answered.
Kagome was offering him more than just her body. No, she wasn't in love with him, and didn't want to be. She was offering him the chance to ruin her, and take away her purity inside and out. Too much time had passed, and she couldn't be herself anymore. Kagome hated what she was, and she was tired of forgiving everyone and trying to make everything okay. Nothing was okay and she didn't want to believe in herself or anyone else.
Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I'd do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse
A careful pink tongue lapped at her left nipple, and Sesshoumaru's thin lips started sucking it hard enough to send nearly painful sensations through her. She knew he wouldn't be a gentle lover, and she was prepared for whatever pain he would force her to endure. It seemed appropriate that her physical pain match her emotional anguish as she slowly crumbled on the inside.
Sesshoumaru took her hands and placed them on his chest, and Kagome looked up at him fearfully. He was not supposed to be the one, but neither of them cared. She wasn't there to be loved; she was there to abandon herself.
From the first moment she came through the well, so much had relied on her courage and her love. No more. She was tired of bearing everyone else's burdens yet never being allowed to be affected. There had been too many bloody battles, too many corpses, and too much heartbreak.
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
With you?
Kagome trusted Sesshoumaru to destroy her, completely and properly. The taiyoukai tried to murder her the day they met, yet she knew the darkness in his eyes. He wasn't evil, not like Naraku, and he wasn't like any of the thousands of youkai she had seen since arriving in the Feudal Era. Sesshoumaru was the worst, because he had the mental capacity to make good decisions and chose not to. She had no doubts that he could have been a good person. He chose to be a murderous, cold-hearted monster.
He slid into her, and she embraced the death of the innocent little miko everyone loved. She didn't want to be loved anymore, and she didn't want to love. All she wanted was the freedom to hate herself and everyone else that made her feel this way.
XXX
Sesshoumaru already had a mate.
When Kagome came to him, he wanted to say no, and push her away, even though she said nothing. Somehow, he knew what she wanted. He was surprised she lasted as long as she did. A person could only be like that for so long before the darkness finally won.
Their foe, Naraku, believed this meant he would overcome on the merit of being dark. Naraku did not understand that Sesshoumaru was a frightening, wicked creature, far worse than the hanyou could ever be. Naraku toyed with his enemies; Sesshoumaru murdered his wordlessly and without second thought.
Still, loyalty bound him to a woman he rarely saw. Sesshoumaru waged an internal war against himself, because he swore he'd never do anything like what his father did. Yet, people expected it of him, and watched, waiting patiently for the prince of the dogs to fall as hard and as gracelessly as his father had.
What he was doing was nothing like what his father did.
The Inu No Taishou loved women, and lifted them up. Sesshoumaru was tearing Kagome down, and every touch brought the kind of wicked satisfaction only someone like him could indulge in. She was a bright light in the dark world of the warring states. And he, Sesshoumaru, was putting that light out. He damned them all to the darkness he lived in, knowing what a dreadful sin it was. Specifically, he was taking that light away from the brother he hated, and that satisfied him.
Sesshoumaru knew it would have been better to resist than to break her. He knew it would make him vulnerable, he knew it was a danger, and he didn't care. Maybe he even wanted it, because that was the kind of person he was. He faced the things that threatened him and he destroyed them.
He discarded his sense of loyalty and his obligation for the opportunity to dance with the same danger that killed his father. Sesshoumaru vowed never to touch a human woman, and he abided by that until that night. He gave up a part of himself to take a part of her that could not be replaced.
Her eyes begged him to continue thrusting into her, to continue wrecking her life and her soul. He hissed and pounded her harder, ignoring the virgin blood and the tears running down her face. They weren't there to feel pleasure.
If it killed him, fine. Sesshoumaru wanted the chance to prove he wasn't like his sire. If he was, he wasn't worthy of life. He had to face the same circumstance and do the correct thing. Nothing else mattered. He knew he shouldn't have been doing it, and he knew there would be consequences. At that moment, he just didn't care.
Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse
Hands fisted in his hair as her body pressed into his, legs wrapped tightly around him. She was moaning and crying at the same time, and the combination brought him back to earth.
It was such a small act, and it was something people did needlessly and without consequence all the time. But for Sesshoumaru, every thrust into her hot body took a little more of his resolve, a little more of his faith in himself, and replaced it with the sinful pleasure of destroying another person.
Sesshoumaru wasn't foolish. That mindset was deadly, and many died needlessly because breaking something became more important than taking something.
A cruel smirk formed on his lips as he came with a roar.
He let her down, and Kagome's feet found a firm footing on the moist forest floor. She stood there, wearing nothing but her shoes and socks, shaking like a leaf. Kagome reached down, between her legs, and Sesshoumaru watched as she touched the oozy mixture of her blood and fluids with his seed.
Her hand started to shake, and her eyes shot up to his.
"Taste it," he growled, wondering if she was so far gone that she would taste the sticky proof of their unforgivable sin.
Kagome's tongue lapped one of her finger tips, and she said, "It's bitter."
"Of course it is," he answered. "How could the result of what we did be anything but bitter?"
Sesshoumaru pulled up his hakama, glaring down at her as he did. He wondered if he could coax her into further debauchery, and how far he could push her into corruption. Extinguishing a light was one thing. Turning it into true darkness was a different game, the likes of which he had never before taken part in.
"I should go back," Kagome said as she looked around for her clothes.
That certainly wouldn't do, but Sesshoumaru said nothing. He simply found her clothes and held them hostage, folding them neatly over one arm. "You allowed yourself to be taken by one such as this Sesshoumaru. You are mine to toy with until I grow bored with your self-loathing."
Kagome's eyes widened, and she wanted to argue with him. The damage was done though, and she wanted him to drag her down farther as much as he wanted to do it. In that moment, she knew the difference between Sesshoumaru and his father. His father took a human woman because he loved her, and Inuyasha lived because of that love. Sesshoumaru took her because he was an evil creature and he enjoyed pulling her down with him into the darkness.
"You're a monster," she whispered.
Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you dont shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?
Kagome gave up her light, and her hope.
Sesshoumaru gave up his self control and his inability to compromise.
They gained nothing but the twisted, sick relationship where they used each other. How much they were required to pay for this hell was far greater them either of them knew and both of them knew that too. More consequences would come, and choices would have to be made.
It was far too late to do the right thing.