Starcrossed by tessahime

Starcrossed

Kagome stared at the bottom of her empty cardboard coffee cup, wishing that it had lasted her a few more moments. She artfully sneaked a longing glance at her companion who seemed to restlessly observe every moving body in the overcrowded airport. 'Two good years,' she thought. 'Two good years wasted, beating around the bush. I have nothing to show for it. Nothing I've gained. No use stalling now,'

"I better go," she said softly, her voice on the verge of breaking. She knew his superb demon ears, although concealed now, would hear her over the tumultuous noises. "My coffee's gone, and my flight's here."

Sesshoumaru didn't turn to acknowledge her. He knew that if he did, he would ask her to stay for another cup, for another day, week, year, a lifetime... but he wasn't the kind to beg. He had too many years of failures, too many women that had let him down when he finally opened up. He didn't want her to join their ranks; he didn't want to risk her perfection in his memory. So he just stared, refusing to meet her deep blue eyes.

Kagome felt the bitter sting of tears, but refused to let them come. He was only being as cold as she had always known him to be, no worse. So she stood, slowly, and picked up the coat that had been lying on the table next to the half eaten blackberry muffin. She felt like she had back in grade school when she first told him goodbye to go study in England; guilty, abandoned, alone. "So... I guess this is goodbye, then." She said as she stood awkwardly.

No response.

So, refusing to set off to America already depressed, she lifted her chin and thought of making her grandfather proud, of supporting her mother and brother, of making headway in the world... things that made this "trip" worth taking. She began to walk past him toward the exit of the tiny café when the contact of skin stopped her.

Sesshoumaru felt as if the best part of him was leaving. The only part of his life that was worth anything was walking away from him right now, and he was letting her. Before he could rationalize it, before he could talk himself out of it, he reached for her hand as she walked by. He felt her freeze, as if shocked into stillness. Slowly he tore his gaze away from the filth that was not worth his time, and placed in his sights the only angel that had fallen for him.

It wasn't about the conquest, or the sex when he was with her. It was about how she fell asleep in his arms and snored so softly her could barely hear it. It was about how she looked so young and free when she got caught in the rain. About how her face turned the cutest shade of pink when she was angry. About those times she would look at him with those eyes, and he felt as if he was melting. About the way she would have looked at him that way if had just given her the damned ring. About how beautiful she would have looked pregnant with his child. But he couldn't risk that part of himself, not even for her...
But he did try to tell her without words... she could always read him better than anyone. "Your eyes," she had said, "it's your eyes that give you away." So he lifted his head and looked at her.

"Don't leave me"

She heard it as if he had spoken it aloud. Those molten pools of sun kissed gold were telling, no, begging her to stay. That's what broke her heart the most. So she tore her own cerulean gaze away so he wouldn't see the tears that began to fall.
'One foot... in front the other,' she thought as she began to walk away. She felt in slow motion how his grip tighten ever so slightly before it softly fell away. Kagome could barely see through the watery veil in her eyes... but she kept moving, she had to. Other wise she would go right back to that path that held no immediately tangible future that she could see. She felt her heart break just a little more, then wither.

Sesshoumaru watched as she disappeared into the swarming crowd, feeling like dead weight, but also feeling propelled to run. 'It's too late,' he mused, 'She has made her decision. Who am I to stand in her way?' He sat, fighting the urge to succumb to the sweet call of anger, or the even sweeter scent of her that lingered and followed her supple form. He stayed though, and paid for their coffees and her muffin that lay picked apart, destroyed. He continued to sit until every last trace of her was gone. No sight. No sound. No taste. No touch. No scent. So many of his senses already were dulled, and she had only just left.
A few minutes later, Kagome sat in her confined and worn seat. She was proud that she had made onto the plane without blubbering like an idiot. She shifted her coat as the plane began to ascend and heard the crunch of paper. She reached into her coat pocket and found a note that she assumed Sesshoumaru had stuck in her pocket as she passed. She opened it slowly, afraid of what she would find. It was worse than she had feared.

'I know that I will never gain the courage to tell you myself, but I do love you. Never doubt that. Come back to me. I can wait forever.'

Kagome could not stop the flood of crystal tears now. He loved her! He loved her and was willing to wait for her! She knew people were staring at her, wondering what the hell was wrong with the Japanese chick. "What the hell is wrong with this chick?" "Did someone she know die?" "She was fine just a second ago"

But they couldn't understand. He had been a minute late and a dollar short. She had sold her soul, and this time she wasn't coming back...