Killing Kikyo An Inuyasha Parody by Diespedes

And so it begins...

This is a parody of Inuyasha I wrote while bored hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing *pouts*

This is dedicated to my brother and anyone else who has ever asked the question “Why won’t Kikyo just die already!!!”

This is also posted on ff.net under the same name

Glazing at her crystal ball with angry eyes Kagome watched helplessly as Kikyo once again narrowly avoided the jaws of death. “Why won’t that bitch just die already! ” Kagome screeched, she grabbed an expensive crystal vase and hurled it against the wall where it shattered into a million splinters.

“Temper, temper” Naraku strolled into the tower room smirking “Why don’t you just give it up? The girl is obviously immortal” he slouched in one of the rooms two gilded thrones picking out a morsel from the tray of dessicated youkai bites on the table beside him.

Kagome grimaced “I don’t know how you can eat that it’s disgusting!”

Naraku shrugged offhandedly before gulping down another of the delicacies “I guess it’s just an acquired taste”

“Fine brother you are! How come you have never given me any help? You aren’t too bad in the immortality department yourself” Kagome pouted, referring to the many times he had appeared to be gone and then suddenly turned up after having being saved at the last minute.

“It’s a secret” he chuckled “besides its much more fun watching your constant attempts on her life being miraculously thwarted” he sat forward with a sly smile “besides why should I help you? Thanks to your failed attempts I’m a bag of gold ahead in the castle betting pool”. He ducked suddenly to avoid a vial of orange liquid that was suddenly launched at his head. It missed, hitting a unsuspecting mouse that suddenly puffed up to resemble a giant beach ball. Naraku shuddered “Now that wasn’t very nice. What if that had actually hit me?”

Kagome rolled her eyes “I doubt very much any one would notice”

Kagome hurriedly dressed in her stupid school uniform. She wondered why she had to wear the damn thing, but concluded that at the very least it should insure that no one suspected she hadn’t spent the last three days in the future.

  Grabbing her bag she stuffed it full of the instant ramen, chips and sweets that her maid had brought up that morning. “That should keep Inuyasha busy and distract Shippo” she muttered to herself. She was getting the worrying feeling that Shippo was starting to suspect something. Then she laughed out loud “Even if he does figure it out the others will likely ignore him anyway and there is no way Inuyasha will listen”

Chuckling to herself she snapped her fingers and transported to the well that was suppose to be a portal into the future “My, what fools these mortals be…” she cackled as she vanished amidst a cloud of sparkling dust.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Back at the well Inuyasha was waiting impatiently for Kagome’s return. He jumped up from where he was sitting slouched against a tree and resumed his restless pacing. He huffed, this whole search for the Shikon gig would go a whole lot faster if only Kagome would just stay put in the feudal era.

He turned about to pace back the way he’d just come when he came face to face with a smiling Kagome. “You’re late” he snarled.

Kagome smiled prettily back at him “I was getting your ramen, but if you don’t want any….” She turned to walk off.

“NO!...I mean…umm” he stammered trying to regain his cool ”….that’s alright, you can make me some ramen as an apology” He concluded and struck a pose while anxiously watching her reaction out of the corner of his eye.

“Ok then!” Kagome trilled cheerfully whilst sniggering under her breath, what a naïve dupe .

They reached the village where the others were sitting relaxing under a tree, they stood off a little distance and watched as Miroku yawned and stretched reaching his arm out behind Sango’s back “accidentally” grazing a breast. Seconds later the sound of a resounding slap sent a flock of small birds fleeing.

Inuyasha smirked before they continued their trek forward “No matter how often I see that it never gets old” he remarked.

“Doesn’t it just?” Kagome replied with a smirk.

At that moment Shippo’s ears twitched “KAGOMEEEE” he yelled skipping towards them. Kagome smiled, she really was fond of the young kitsune.

“I’m so glad you’re back!” he exclaimed bouncing up and down excitedly “What did ya bring me?”

She sighed resignedly – children no matter what species were the same everywhere, still she reached over to the bag on her shoulder and tossed him a packet of chips. Within seconds he was sitting cross-legged on the grass in front of her munching away happily. Inuyasha noticed immediately and dived in to tackle him for the packet, but the kitsune was too fast and was up a tree upending the last of the crumbs into his wide open mouth. Back on the ground Inuyasha sulked and ignored the lump on his head that he sustained by colliding into a large rock after he missed the kit.

Kagome rolled her eyes – talk about children! “So glad to see nothing has changed in my absence” she muttered sarcastically. Sango laughed and Kirara chirruped in amusement, Miroku meanwhile was still out cold.