Trapped by sesshou_lover

Happiness

Work is driving me nuts at the moment, but I finally had a chance to finish this.  It became an unexpected monster somehow, coming in at almost 13,000 words.  Sigh.  I have no idea what happened.  On a good note, I'm thrilled to have found Speaking Without Words is nominated for the Dokuga awards.  I wasn't expecting it at all when I scrolled through to see who all were nominated.  I grateful to whoever nominated me and good luck to all those who were nominated as well.  Happy reading.

Happiness

Little Kagome Higurashi had known a lot of bad moments in her young nine year old life and most of them had been shared with her mother.  She remembered how the father who should have protected her had been too busy chasing after other females to do his job to his family properly.  She remembered the nights her mother cried, begging her father to just stay home instead of going out.  She remembered the pain of her mother being hit by that same father and the pain of him then turning that anger on her when she sought to give the little bit of help her young body was capable of giving.

            She remembered the day her father finally left her small family, her mother pregnant and devastated, herself so young and jaded.  She remembered the day they had to move in with her grandfather on the shrine and all the troubles it caused to move into a new environment all while trying to pretend everything was normal.  But normal never seemed able to come her way.  As a result she just seemed to go on with life losing hope that things would ever truly change.

            She was so jaded she thought nothing when just after her brother’s birth her mother met a new male.  Incredibly handsome was the first thing Kagome’s mother had been able to say.  He’d been tall with long dark hair falling in waves down his back.  Kindly gray eyes had seemed to smile often, but Kagome knew not to allow herself to be fooled by such an appearance.  Her own father hadn’t been ugly by anyone’s definition and look what he did to them.

            Kagome continued to reserve judgment on this new male until the day her mother came home one night with news she was to be mated to this demon male.  Kagome had always refused to say his name.  She just couldn’t bring herself to call him by name.

            All her plans to stop the mating from coming to fruition seemed to fail miserably.  The male continued to laugh off her antics while her mother continued giving her disapproving looks.  So now, standing under the Goshinboku while her mother relayed her vows she could only cry as life as she knew it changed once more.  She didn’t like it.  She didn’t like it at all and just wanted it to be over and to have her mother all to herself.

            She wanted…she wanted…her heart seemed to break.  She just wanted the pain to stop building within her.  She wanted not to hurt or be disappointed.  She just wanted so badly to feel some small bit of happiness.

            Strong arms lifted her high into the air.  “Don’t cry little one.  Everything will be fine now.  You will see,” her new stepfather told her.  Kagome tried not to be swayed by the gentleness in his voice but it was difficult not to fall.

            She buried her face in his neck as she continued to sob her heart out.  More than anything she really just wanted to make sure that she would be loved and to have a bit of happiness she could have for own.  Was it too much to ask for, to be loved?

~*~

Years later

            “Daichi is going to be arriving soon and I want you to be on your best behavior girl,” Watanabe Satoshi told his stepdaughter Kagome.

            Kagome sighed, but set aside the book she’d been reading.  “Yes papa Satoshi.  You’ve explained this to me many times before.”  She really wished her stepfather didn’t feel the need to have to find her a new mate, but as he was the alpha of the family and she his only daughter pack law dictated she had to be given to a mate of his choosing.

            Things had gotten so much better for Kagome since her mother's mating to Satoshi.  He'd proven to be everything he claimed he would be.  He loved her mother.  He treated her and her younger brother just as well as he treated his own grown pups.  He was firm, but loving with everyone.  He'd dealt patiently with her attitude the first few years of living with him, holy terror that she'd been.  He hadn't allowed any of it to faze him and had even gotten her mother to back off of her.

            He'd simply sat her down one day and explained to her the way that things would be from then on.  It had been a strange experience…

            Twelve year old Kagome sat on her pink patterned bedspread staring warily at her stepfather who calmly sat in a too small pink chair inside an incredibly princess style room.  That someone like him would even be able to appear comfortable in such an environment intrigued Kagome.  She'd thought he'd be demanding she talk to him somewhere more masculine.

            "Now Kagome," Satoshi began, "I believe it is time we discuss our impasse.  I know you don't like me and I understand that it's because of what you went through with your father, but I believe we should be able to find a good compromise so that we don't worry your mother."  Kagome turned her head away, a petulant pout on her face.  "You may not believe me but I happen to like you.  I have always wanted a daughter and it is my hope that you will fill that role.

            "Yeah until you either get my mom pregnant or leave us," Kagome shot back at him.  She would not be fooled into thinking that he would be any different from her father.  No man was different.  They were all the same and she would prove it no matter how long it took her to do it.

            Her stepfather sighed.  "Oh little Kagome, I will always be in your life.  Even should your mother and I have another pup you will still belong to me.  Inu youkai do not abandon pack.  Ever.  If I ever abandon you or your mother, I give you permission to call a hunt for my head.  The Lord of the West would have no choice but to obey."

            She did not want to be seduced by his words, but he was sitting with her in her bedroom and he hadn't hit her or her mother once.  And he was giving her permission to seek revenge if he did leave.  But still..."You're kind of morbid."

            Satoshi chuckled.  "Darling, I am inu youkai.  There is no such thing as morbid to an inu.  We are who we are and as my daughter you are one as well.  Human blood be damned."

            It had been the start to the change in their relationship.  From then on Satoshi had allowed her things that no one else had.  He took her for ice cream.  He often allowed her to follow him during pack meetings with the Lord of the West.  He taught her how to be an inu youkai even though she was human and he'd told her every day how much he loved her.

            For a few years she'd imagined herself in love with her stepfather, or at least, she hero worshipped him.  He'd been the male influence she'd needed and he had filled a major hole in her life.  He and his sons had been the best thing to happen to her and her brother and after her mother's death from cancer; they continued to be the best thing in her life.

            Now he wanted to mate her to another inu youkai and she wasn't sure how she felt about it.  Oh she understood why he did it.  She was human no matter what he wanted her to be and as such she would die within a matter of decades.  To keep his step children as long as possible she knew very she and her brother would have to mate other youkai.  She thought he would have gone to one of the minor inu clans to find a suitable mate for her.  But no, Satoshi had determined his daughter would have the best, the strongest mate and that meant discussions with the Lord of the West himself.

            The Western Lord had two sons of mating age, his heir and his hanyou son.  Kagome had met both sons at some point in her life and really wasn't holding out hope for a successful relationship in either case.  Inuyasha the hanyou was much too brash and had spent most of his youth making fun of her.  And Sesshoumaru had been...cold was the only thought in her mind.

            Of course he'd been much older than her at the time she'd met him so she figured he probably didn't want to be bothered with having an interaction with a child.  Still, he never really had anything to say to her anytime she had to be around him.  So she felt she needed to know which her stepfather wanted her to mate and then she had to figure out a way to get out of said mating.

            "Do you want me to help with the dinner?" she asked sweetly.

            Satoshi patted the top of her head.  "Don't think you can fool me with the sweet act child.  Run along and get ready for the dinner.  You must be presentable for your potential mate.  And remember, there is more than just a mating involved.  This is our standing within the pack at stake as well."

            Kagome sighed, but nodded.  "Yes father.  I will behave myself.  You have my promise."

~*~

Sesshoumaru had no clue what his sire was thinking but he really wished the old dog would just stop it.  Bad enough he planned to indulge a lesser member of the inu youkai clan by negotiating a mating, but to actually consider mating him, the heir, to a human?  It was simply laughable.  What would the court say to something like that?

            "It is necessary that she mate someone powerful," his father went on to say.  "Satoshi has informed me that she shows great potential as a miko and with some extra training can be incredibly strong.  I want her in the family Sesshoumaru."

            "So then have your half breed mate her.  She would live just as long being attached to him."

            Daichi made a rude sound at the back of his throat.  "The boy would never settle down willingly.  I've seen them interact and I know they'd kill one another inside of a week."

            "So then, what makes you think mating her to me will make any difference?"  Sesshoumaru leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs at the knee.  The cup of tea he'd had in his hand settled on the table as he waited for his father to enlighten him.

            "You are level headed and although she may be a bit young, she's pretty and intelligent.  She'd make a great next Lady of the West.  And just imagine the cuteness of your future pups.  I can see them now."  Daichi paused in his fantasy of silver haired pups running around the manor.

            Sesshoumaru felt his lip curl upward.  Of course his father would be concerned with the pups and Sesshoumaru's lack of them.  All three of his previous mates had failed to give him an heir, not that it bothered Sesshoumaru all that much.  As long lived as he was, he had plenty of time to have pups.  His father knew that and yet the older demon failed to allow nature to take its course.  "Father, having pups right now is the least of my concern.  I have no need of a mate especially a human one.  When I find a suitable youkai female I will mate with her and eventually produce a pup.

            "But that's just it, boy."  Daichi finally sat in his seat across the desk.  He stared long and hard at his eldest, knowing that what had to be said needed to be said.  "You have reached a level of power that no other youkai female can match you.  As such there will never be a youkai female capable of baring your pups.  We both know this to be true."  Sesshoumaru was sure it grated on his father that Sesshoumaru had achieved this level of power long before his own father had achieved this level.

            Full blood pups were developed from the power of the parents.  When one parent was too strong for the other, any pup that might be produced grew too unstable to gain a physical form.  Sesshoumaru himself almost hadn't been born because his father had nearly grown too powerful for his mother.  But Sesshoumaru's own strength had allowed him to be a successful birth.  So far he'd been the only one.

            As humans produced offspring without having to utilize outside energy, strong youkai males could still become fathers.  Any energy expenditure wouldn't be met with resistance from the mother.  Sesshoumaru, as the strongest youkai male, could potentially become a father many times over with a human female.  He simply chose to not want a human female as his mate.  He still held hope for a youkai female strong enough to take him.

            Unfortunately, for him his father was still alpha of the pack and he called all the shots.  Sesshoumaru had no choice but to obey his father's whims.  That meant he would have to mate the human whether he wanted to or not.

~*~

Dinner proved rather interesting for Kagome.  Her stepbrother Arata kept her entertained with a running commentary on how much Inuyasha looked like a douche bag wearing all the red he so enjoyed wearing.  Said crimson wearing hanyou continued glaring at the two of them although she was pretty sure no one had any idea what Arata kept saying.  Her other step brother Fumio sat at her other side indulging in a conversation with Sesshoumaru.

            It had been a while since Kagome had seen Sesshoumaru and she had to say.  She had forgotten just how attractive he really was.  She bet she wouldn't end up with him though.  Fumio had told her everything about him and nowhere in all those talks had it been mentioned that Sesshoumaru had any intention of taking a human mate.  No, someone as beautiful as him would end up with an equally beautiful female youkai and together they'd make fabulously beautiful youkai pups.

            She bit back a sigh as she tried desperately not to stare at the Western Lords older son.  It would be rude and inappropriate until she found out who she would be promised to.

            "Father must be nuts if he thinks the hanyou is suitable for you," Arata whispered in her ear.  "The boy is rude and completely uncultured."

            Kagome bit her lip.  "I'm not much better though.  Everything I know is only because of you guys.  Maybe we'd be a match."  God she hoped not.  She really couldn't ever see herself end up with Inuyasha.  She'd rather marry a human before she ended up with the asshole that is Inuyasha.  Hell she'd take the ice prince Sesshoumaru over Inuyasha any day.

            "You're still much too good for him.  Trust me Kagome, Inuyasha is way beneath you."

            "If only dad could understand that," she replied.  She glanced at the head of the table where the two older demons sat deeply in debate about something.  Kagome had no clue as she was pretty sure they'd save talks about her future for the privacy of her stepfather's office.  Her stepfather turned in her direction briefly before throwing her a slight wink.  She smiled slightly then returned her attention to her meal.  She just had to trust her stepfather to know what was best for her.  He hadn't really let her down yet.

~*~

"So you're the one who'll be my bitch then," she heard Inuyasha say from behind her.  Kagome turned from where she'd been working on a bit of school work.

            "Excuse me."  She just knew he didn't say what he just said.  "Nothing has been worked out yet for your information.  You don't know who your father is going to make my mate."

            Inuyasha made a rude sound.  "Who the hell else would it be?  Everybody knows Sesshoumaru wouldn't be bothered with an ugly bitch like you so dad would have to stick you with me.  And let me just inform you now, when I get my hands on you you're going to be in serious trouble because I'm not going to accept your mouth."

            Being called ugly didn't really bother Kagome because let's face it; she didn't care about Inuyasha's opinion.  Being called a bitch didn't really bother her either because as she was part of an inu pack it just didn't seem worth the trouble to fight.  Her own stepbrothers often referred to her as a bitch within the pack.  What she couldn't deal with was Inuyasha's high handed tactics.  Who the hell did he think he was to tell her what to do?

            She would never listen to him.  Ever.  "I'm only going to say this once.  If you end up being the choice, the mating will never happen.  I'll run away so fast that your head will spin.  I'll never allow you to be my mate."  She turned her back on him.  Maybe it wasn't the smarted thing to do, but she wasn't about to be afraid of him in her own home.  He wouldn't want to face her father or brothers.

            So confident was she that he wouldn't do anything it took her completely by surprise to suddenly be thrown to the ground.  A hand pressed between her shoulder blades to keep her pinned.  Kagome didn't have to wonder what was about to happen to her.  She screamed, managing to get the sound out before a hand covered her mouth.  She forced her body to fight against him.  As hard as she could she thrashed against him, not caring that she would never be as strong as him.

            She knew someone had to have heard her.  With so many inu in the house it seemed impossible no knew what was going on so all she had to do was fight him off until someone came to rescue her.

            "You stupid bitch.  You should know better than to fight against a youkai, even a half one.  I'm about you teach your ass a lesson you'll never forget.  And then once I take you as my mate I'm really going to start showing you your place.  I'm so sick of you acting as if you belong in the inu clan.  You're just a weak human who should know better to fuck with the son of the Western Lord.

            She felt her clothes begin to be ripped from her body.  She renewed her fight and screaming.  She kept chanting in her head for someone to come and rescue her.  Someone had to come save her because she didn't want to be raped.

            Inuyasha flipped her onto her back.  She opened her mouth to scream again but before she got the sound out he smacked her hard across the face.  She saw stars and black shadows for a long moment.  In the time it took her to get it together Inuyasha had removed his pants and prepped himself to violate her body.  Kagome felt tears beginning to fall at the thought of what he planned to do to her if no one came.

            She shut her eyes tight, praying for something to happen to stop this.  Then pain, terrible burning pain as he began to press inside.  Nothing could stop Kagome's violent scream as the hanyou ripped through unprepared muscles.  He struck her again to get her to shut up, but she didn't.  She kept screaming right up to the moment she felt him thrown away from her body.

            She curled on her side continuing to scream as someone wrapped a blanket around her body.  She felt herself lifted into strong arms and started to fight until she heard the sound of her stepfather hushing her.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and began to cry in earnest.

~*~

Sesshoumaru didn't say anything as the scream reached his sensitive ears.  He simply left the office where Satoshi and his father bargained for Kagome.  He followed the sound of violence to what he assumed to be the family room area.  The warm and comforting colors of the room seemed an ironic backdrop for the vision that faced him.

            Sesshoumaru had known his half brother to be a fool.  He hadn't thought the boy stupid enough to violate Satoshi's stepdaughter in the man's own home.  Sesshoumaru didn't waste a single moment ripping the boy from on top of the girl.  By then, the other males had arrived to take care of getting the girl to safety.  Sesshoumaru took care of punishing Inuyasha for his foolish behavior.  Because now she would have to be mated to one of them and father would probably have to give damn near his whole kingdom to appease Satoshi for his grave insult.

            He broke Inuyasha's jaw and a couple of ribs but that wasn't enough of a punishment.  Kagome's family members were red eyed with the need to see blood.  And Sesshoumaru was more than inclined to allow it to happen.  "Let's hope you didn't damage the girl too badly half breed because you are about to get the punishment you deserve."

            His father said nothing as the stepbrothers approached the prostrate hanyou.  Sesshoumaru returned to his father's side, his face a perfect mask of calm.  "Well this is certainly a mess," Sesshoumaru said as if he spoke of the weather.  "I told you to leave the boy at home."

            His father snarled in his own anger.  "Fool.  I should allow them to kill him."  Sesshoumaru would have loved to see that happen.  Unfortunately, they had to deal with the girl and her future in light of this fiasco.

            Most likely Sesshoumaru knew he'd have to mate the girl to make it all better.  It would help his family save face and place the girl herself in a situation that something like this would never happen again to her.  The only thing to do would be to get Satoshi to agree to it.  Because Sesshoumaru had a feel the inu wouldn't go for it after this.

~*~

Satoshi watched his stepdaughter cry her heart out as he tried his best to contain his anger.  How dare that boy do this to his precious Kagome?  How dare anyone think they had the right to touch her against will?  He wanted blood for the wrong done to her, but he didn't want to leave her alone, not after what had been done to her for his being less than vigilant.

            The soft knock on the door set him to growling as he moved to cover Kagome from view.  Sesshoumaru opened the door, but the stronger youkai didn't step over the threshold.  "Inuyasha has been properly punished for his transgression against your pack member.  And reparations will be made."  It wouldn't help return Kagome's virginity they both knew, and a part of Satoshi that was still sane appreciated that the other male refused to treat it like it would.

            "What sort of reparations will make up for this?"

            Sesshoumaru shook his head.  "Nothing will ever be enough, but I at least offer myself as her mate and protector to ensure nothing like this will ever happen again.  As the strongest male no one would dare go against me.  I won't take her to bed, nor will I demand much from her other than the usual duties of a lady of my den."

            Satoshi turned his eyes to his daughter now that she had quieted some to listen herself.  "What do you think daughter," he asked her quietly.  "It is up to you whether you take the protection or not.  I would have you stay here with your pack than put you where you don't want to be.

            Kagome took a deep breath.  "I don't want to go daddy.  I don't want to go."  That was answer enough for Satoshi and Sesshoumaru.

            The younger male nodded once.  "Then other arrangements will be made.  She'll still have my protection, but she will not be forced to mate unless it is her desire to do so."  Sesshoumaru turned to leave then.  "I hope to see you at the next pack meeting at least Satoshi.  I wouldn't want that half breed to have ruined anything permanently."

            Satoshi didn't really care about anything else expect the healing of his daughter.  Nothing else mattered except Kagome.

~*~

2 years later

It had been a slow journey for Kagome to be able to deal with males outside her family.  Arata had been extremely protective of her since Inuyasha had violated her body and she herself hadn't felt bad at all for ignoring any and all male attention.  The Western Lord had stopped all talks about mating Kagome, which she liked just fine.  And Inuyasha had been sent far away to ensure she didn't have to see him ever again.

            The only male of the Inu no taisho line who she seemed to see more of was Sesshoumaru.  At first, she'd been deathly frightened of him.  After all, he was stronger than his half brother and more than capable of taking her against her will.  But he'd never done anything more to her other than rub his scent across her skin to make it known that she was under his protection.

            The first few times he'd done it she had to have one of her relatives in the room.  Sesshoumaru never seemed to notice that as all he did was rub his cheek against her for a few moments before he left.  He never talked to her.  He never touched her in any other way.  And as a result she found herself really sort of falling for him.

            It seemed strange because she thought she never would have wanted to be touched by a man again.  But somehow Sesshoumaru's behavior reminded her of her stepfather.  He always did what she didn't expect.  He was the only one outside of family she trusted and she always anticipated the days he would come by to set her with his scent.  And somehow she always hoped that he would do something more to her.  Not anything like sex, because she still felt very fearful of that, but she wanted to be touched by him.  Hell, sometimes she just wanted him to hold her and tell her everything would be okay, especially on her occasional bad days.

            Fumio said it was because of Sesshoumaru's strength that she trusted him so.  "That's the way is often is in packs.  A female, especially one in pain, will flock to the strongest male for protection.  There's only so much father can do for you.  Eventually you will feel the need for pups and then you'll have to take a mate."  That had been a week ago.

            And his words had continued to lay heavy on her mind.  Did she actually want a mate and pups?  She didn't know for sure but she knew she needed to be around Sesshoumaru.

            So when the doorbell rang announcing his arrival she ran for the door before anyone else could reach it.  Her heart seemed to catch in her throat.  Today he wore a pair of designer jeans while a black sweater stretched tight across his broad shoulder.  The color set his pale skin and hair to glowing ethereally in the light of the fading sun.  He quirked an eyebrow at her appearance at the door, yet he said nothing.

            Wordlessly she stepped to the side allowing him entrance to her home.  As he passed her she noticed he scanned the area around him.  Kagome didn't have to be told that it was the usual habits of an alpha male to check areas for danger.  Just like he didn't have to tell her that until she found a mate he'd continue to do so.

            He led the way to her bedroom.  Kagome followed him quietly, all the while fumbling with the hem of her gray sweater.  She wasn't afraid to admit that she was nervous about being alone with him for the first time in two years.  It had taken much to convince her brothers and father to leave her alone for this.  She wanted to just see if she could handle being alone with a male and not panic.  And the only male she trusted was this one.

            "Where are your pack members?" Sesshoumaru asked her.  His smooth voice had been almost too low for her to hear.

            "I - I asked them to leave us alone."

            He turned to glance at her over his shoulder for a long moment.  "I see," was all he said.  She had no idea what that could mean, but she followed him anyway.

            He walked straight to her bedroom and waited for her to open the door.  Kagome quickly stepped around him to let him into the room.  Her nerves grew even stronger once he closed the door behind them.  Her eyes didn't move past the level of Sesshoumaru's chest.  She couldn't dare to look him in the eyes nor could she think to look anywhere else knowing that he stared at her. 

            They stood there, her avoiding eye contact with him, and he, simply staring at her.  Finally she felt him approach her.  She froze, so much more afraid of this moment than any other.

            "Why would you ask to be alone with me if you intend to freeze as you have Kagome?  One should never allow a predator to scent fear."  He stood behind her, not touching her but so close she could feel the heat of his body.

            Kagome closed her eyes.  Her mind whirled with thoughts of what she would do.  Part of her felt very silly and naive because she'd forgotten that he was a natural predator and that he could scent how she felt.  But another part of her knew that she had to discover if she were actually ready to feel normal again.  She so badly was tired of feeling uncomfortable in her own skin.

            Large hands landed on her shoulders.  They kneaded at the tension in her muscles.  Kagome felt her body immediately respond to the greater strength of the daiyoukai behind her.  Her head fell forward as she enjoyed the work he did. 

            She felt herself guided toward her bed and sat down on the edge.  When she opened her eyes Sesshoumaru stood before her watching her once more.  Kagome felt a blush begin to take over her face.  She really regretted asking her family members to leave.  "I take it something is to be different in our interactions," he said.

            She nodded carefully.  She opened her mouth to say something, even if it simply turned into nothing more than a ramble.  But nothing would come.  Sesshoumaru lifted her chin to force her to look into his eyes.

            "You must tell me what you want or nothing will be achieved today," he said.  She could hear the firmness in his voice, the command that she obey him.  She found she couldn't disobey him when he clearly gave her a direct order.

            "I want you to touch me," she said softly. 

~*~

If his ears hadn't been so good he never would have heard her words.  As it was, Sesshoumaru could barely believe that she'd say something like that to him.  Never before had she made such a request.  And although he expected her to eventually heal from the rape; he hadn't thought it would be so soon.

            A slight frown covered his lips.  He didn't really believe she was better but her words placed him in a difficult situation.  He had to honor her request.  As part of the reparations to her it was demanded of him.  He shrugged off his reservations.

            He didn't have to ravage the girl or anything.  The inu in him understood that her behavior had everything to do with his strength.  His ability to protect her would have to draw her closer to him.  She probably couldn't help but be drawn to wanting to be near him.

            It still wasn't something he really wanted to do.  But he had to do his duty by her.  As such he did something never would have done before to anyone.  He knelt before the human girl placing him at level with her.  He allowed his hands to settle on the bed near her hips.  He wouldn't touch her until she lost more of this tension, but he could at least help her test the waters of her own healing.

            He leaned forward.  His cheek brushed lightly against her soft skin.  Any other time this would be all he'd have to do to ensure his scent was upon her.  Any other time he'd be looking to get away from her.  Today he probably wouldn't be leaving for a while.

            He heard her take a deep shuddering breath as he turned his face just enough to brush his nose across her skin.  She didn't move away from him though which encouraged him to continue brushing his skin across hers.  His right hand slid through the strands of her dark hair lightly.  He tugged her head back, revealing her bared neck for submission.

            He brushed against this skin as well.  He took in her scent while allowing his own scent to coat more of her skin.  Briefly he tested her by lightly caressing her pulse with his lips.  Kagome's shuttered breaths turned into a gasp.  Sesshoumaru allowed himself one brief smile before he returned to rubbing his cheek against her skin.

            Hesitant hands moved to his shoulders where they grasped hold of his sweater.  Sesshoumaru paused his movements to see what she would do.  When she did nothing more than tilt her neck further Sesshoumaru continued his movements.  He kept all attempts at seduction to a minimum in an effort not to frighten her.  The last thing he needed was her father coming after him for frightening her again.

            Her hands shifted to wrap around his shoulders.  He went from barely having any contact with her to suddenly having his arms full of human girl.  The impact of her body was barely felt by him.  She felt so light and his body was so dense she could have been a butterfly against him.  He wrapped his arms around her the moment he scented her tears.

            Damn this just wasn't his day.  He should have just refused to come into her house as soon as she was the one who opened the door.

~*~

"I'm sorry," Kagome kept whispering over and over again.  She did feel sorry for touching him against his will but she didn't feel sorry for feeling the need to do it.  She found comfort and safety here.  She felt almost normal again being held by him.  "Just don't be mad at me."

            She felt his chest expand against her own sharply.  "What is the meaning of this human?" he said.

            She shook her head not wanting to answer him.  She really, really didn't want to have to say anything because she had no idea what he was going to say.  Nothing about this situation made any sense to her.

            She buried her face into his neck.  The heady scent of him filled her senses making her feel near dizzy.  She felt so out of her league.  Nothing in her experience qualified her to even think she could be with someone like him.  And yet she couldn’t help but want to ignore that feeling either.  He’d been so kind to her so far and she just needed to be reassured.

            She felt his chest expand again in a sigh.  She tightened her hold around his neck briefly before she released him.  “Sorry,” she mumbled.  Her eyes fell to her lap as silent tears continued to fall down her face.

            She knew he looked at her.  But she couldn’t for the life of her make herself meet his gaze.  She still felt very much embarrassed for having touched an alpha without his approval.

            “Kagome,” she heard him say.  She nibbled at her lower lip to keep from having to look at him.  “When you figure out what you want, let me know.  Because there is nothing I can do without your approval.”  He moved to stand.

            Kagome reached for him.  She grabbed his wrist now really afraid he would leave her alone.  He turned back to her, his eyebrow lifted in question.  "I don't know what to do," she admitted quietly.  "I don't know how I'm supposed to act.  I just want..." she couldn't get the words out.

            Sesshoumaru returned to his kneeling position before her.  Carefully, he removed her hand from his wrist.  He said nothing for a long time as he just watched her.  Kagome waited to see what he would say to her.  All she wanted at this point was to keep him as close as possible.

            She felt close to the edge of her sanity.  Like something within her would break if she didn't heal now.  And the only one she seemed to be comfortable with enough to heal was Sesshoumaru.  The males in her family were one thing.  She loved them, but understood that she couldn't heal wholly with them.  She needed an unrelated male to finish the process.

~*~

Sesshoumaru had no clue what the human girl wanted from him.  She probably didn't know what she wanted and he honestly didn't have time for this.  For about the thousandth time he cursed his half brother for his stupidity in trying to take the girl against her will.  Trying to keep her safe was turning out to be more time consuming than he had expected.

            Because of all this, he now had no chance of finding a suitable youkai mate.  And because of his promise to protect the girl as his, he now had no chance of even finding another suitable human female to mate with.  It had to be Kagome by his side or he wouldn't be able to ever have the chance to procreate.

            He allowed his vibrant eyes to close on the headache beginning to pound within his skull.  What the hell was he going to do when he couldn't even get the girl to allow him to leave?

            He felt a tentative hand brush across his forehead.  "I'm really sorry to be so much trouble.  I know how much it must pain you to have to deal with me," she said.  Sesshoumaru opened his eyes to find watery blue staring back at him.  He had to do something or she was going to start crying again.  His damn senses wouldn't be able to handle another set of tears.

            Sesshoumaru lifted himself from his knees to gently push Kagome over on her bed.  He took a seat beside her and lay back.  He saw from the corner of his of eye that she watched him.  He just hoped she understood what he was about to do because it would never happen again.  It went so completely against his personality and status as an alpha.

            He closed his eyes and simply waited for her to do something when she felt ready.  It surprised him that he didn't have very long to wait.  Almost immediately he felt her slight weight pressed against his side.  She seemed to curl into him like a contented cat.  Sesshoumaru found her behavior fascinating.

            He made sure not to move a single muscle on his body the whole time she used him as her comfort pillow.  His arms remained clasped beneath his head.  His eyes stayed closed so as not to unnerve her.  He even graced her with a soft rumbling growl.  Time lost its concept the longer he lay there with her.  Only vaguely did he note it's passing through the retreating rays of sun through her bedroom window.

            The males of her family returned at some point and yet she still remained in her spot at his side seeking his comfort.  He didn't get a chance to join those males until Kagome had finally fallen asleep.  He then moved her off to the side where he could finally slip out of the bed and leave her to rest.

            The girl's stepfather he found in his office sipping brandy.  Sesshoumaru joined the older demon for a drink.  "Is she at least getting better?"

            Sesshoumaru shrugged.  "She is seeking comfort from a male outside the family at least.  I suppose that is a start."  Whether she would ever fully heal he had yet to see signs of.

            Satoshi nodded.  "I hope so because as a human she is simply losing the fight against time.  I want her around as she is pack, but I will not force her to mate when she has no desire to."

            "There isn't another mate she can take.  You and I both know that."  Sesshoumaru drained the rest of his drink loving the burn down his throat.  He then poured himself another glass.

            Satoshi sat back in his seat.  A curious frown covered his face.  "I will speak to her.  Nothing can be done without her approval in any case.  I promised her that."  Sesshoumaru nodded agreement.  Eventually the girl would have to decide what she was going to do with her future.  They would all simply have to wait until then.

~*~

After some soul searching Kagome didn't have to think about what she wanted to do.  She wanted to be with Sesshoumaru because he brought comfort to her and he was nothing like Inuyasha who still frightened her.  She wanted to feel safe whatever the cost.

            Her stepfather promised her she would have that safety.  Sesshoumaru promised it himself and even the Lord of the West promised her he would do whatever it took to make her feel safe.  With so many people willing to ensure her happiness she felt comfortable enough to allow herself to be mated.

            The mating didn't take very long as she didn't want a full ceremony like what her mother had.  She still felt too frightened surrounded by strange youkai and only wanted those she trusted by her side.  So in the end the only witnesses to her mating the heir to the west were her family and Sesshoumaru's father.  All others were banned from the premises.

            And then Kagome found herself bonded to the strongest demon in Japan, possibly even the world.  Something about that made her feel almost invincible herself.  She stayed by his side all throughout the dinner that night and remained near him when he had to run to his office for an emergency meeting.  Throughout it all he remained patient with her, not allowing any frustration he might be feeling to be known.

            She had no clue how he did it.  How could one man remain so calm when she felt as if she were about to fall apart?  She wanted to learn his secret and see if she could be like him.  She so badly desired to have his cool attitude because then maybe she wouldn't feel so afraid all the time.

            "You do know we will have to actually mate for this to be finalized," he said as he drove through the dense Tokyo traffic toward his own house.  She nodded though her heart began to beat wildly in her chest.

            A golden eye noted her reaction.  She felt extremely nervous knowing she would have to go the whole way.  Inuyasha hadn't left her with a very good impression of sex.  And though her mind knew and understood that what had happened wasn't her fault nor was it inclusive to the true act of sex she still couldn't help but feel the fear.  Her curiosity about the act didn't really seem like it would be enough.

            "Stop thinking or you'll allow yourself to frightened further.  It doesn't have to happen tonight anyway."  She didn't realize she'd been holding her breath until she heard those words come from his mouth.  She leaned back into the car seat’s lush back and allowed her body to take a bit of rest.  It would be okay she felt thinking.  He wouldn't force her to what she wasn't ready to.

            Turned out she was absolutely correct.  They moment they arrived at his manor home he set her up in a lush guest bedroom and left her alone that night.  And the night after that.  And then again.  This went on for perhaps a few weeks until Kagome found herself feeling extremely lonely.

            She barely got to see her mate and it started to hurt her deep inside to feel ignored by him.  She felt she'd had enough of being ignored and wanted, no needed to be able to spend time at her mate's side even if it required that she share a bed with him at night.  She didn't care anymore.

            She commanded the staff of the house to move her things into the Master bedroom and then spent most of the day directing where everything would go.  His clothing items were moved out of the way for her clothing.  Her toiletries sat demurely beside his few meager items.  Her posters of her favorite music artists from her youth were hung beside his one of a kind art.  She didn't care at all.  Sesshoumaru would have to deal with it.

            She said nothing to him when he returned home that evening about the changes she made.  They had dinner together in the informal dining room.  And the whole time he ate, Kagome found herself staring at her mate.  Occasionally she'd find him watching her the way she watched him.  At those times her cheeks would blush and she'd turn away, but inevitably she'd find her gaze right back on him.

            She wondered how he would respond to the new arrangement.  She hoped he didn't mind because she didn't want to change it.  But she certainly didn't want to upset him at all.

            When his eyes found her again she kept his gaze though she felt her cheeks heat up.  "How was work?" she asked.

            He shrugged.  "It is the same as always."

            She nodded although she had no clue what else she could say.  Her hands rung in her lap as she waited to see if he'd say anything to her.  He set his napkin over his empty plate before he turned to her.  "Is there something you wish to tell me?"

            Kagome jumped up from her seat.  She beckoned to him to follow her determining it to be better to show him what she had done.  He followed easily his pace slow and gait smooth.  When they reached the master suite Sesshoumaru paused.  He turned to Kagome with lifted eyebrow.

            He then opened the door himself as she kept her silence.  He took once glance around the room before returning his attention to Kagome.  His eyes had widened briefly.  "You moved in."  It wasn't a question but she nodded anyway.

            Sesshoumaru walked throughout the space.  He touched the posters she hung and the little knickknacks that made her feel comfortable.  His attention drew to the bed and the lone white fluffy dog she'd kept since childhood.  Most of the stuffing had been lost to rip seams and one eye was missing due to a Souta related accident.  But she couldn't discard it as it had been a friend.  Laying on the expensive silk bedspread it looked utterly ridiculous and she just knew Sesshoumaru hated the very sight of it.

            She made her way to the bed where she climbed in to cuddle up with her dog.  It more than any other action spoke of her need to remain.  Her eyes pleaded with her mate to let her stay, to not simply discard her.

            He nodded once before making his way to the large walk in closet.  She heard the swishing of him changing clothing.  A slight smile lit her lips.

~*~

Sesshoumaru didn't know what game Kagome was playing but he allowed her the chance to play it.  On her own she decided she wanted to stay with him.  It didn't bother him as much as it could have.  She was his mate after all and it showed just how far she'd come in her recovery.

            He took a deep breath.  They still had to get through the night and he really wasn't sure how she would respond actually sharing a bed with him.  He expected to have some problems this night as he highly doubted she truly understood what her actions conveyed to him.  Those in his house would expect him to bed her this night considering she now was in his bed.

            He downed the last of his scotch.  He sat in his office hoping to ignore Kagome for as long as possible.  He really didn't know what to think about her.  A glance at his computer's clock told him it was about time he made his way to bed.  He had an extremely important meeting the next morning and Kagome probably would be looking for him soon.

            He summoned his retainer Jaken to clean up the office after him.  By the time he'd made it to the room he found his mate asleep in the middle of the bed.  Sesshoumaru's lips quirked briefly, as he shifted her body over to the side.  He climbed in beside her.  He lay there her just listening to her breathe.  When he finally fell asleep it was to the feeling of her body pressed tightly to his side.  He had never before known such a feeling of peace.

~*~

Kagome awoke in the middle of the night to find herself pressed against Sesshoumaru's body.  She pulled herself closer to him.  He didn't move which suited her just fine.  She wanted to enjoy being beside him and being able to touch him without fear of his intense gaze.

            Her hand lay contentedly upon his firm stomach.  His skin felt hot under her fingertips.  She had never felt anything like it.  The thin layer felt so soft and let what lay underneath felt almost like steel.  Her hand trailed higher across his chest.  All she felt was hard muscle.

            She bit her bottom lip as her eyes kept sight of his face in the dark.  She didn't want him waking up while she basically violated his body in his sleep.  'Oh my Kami.'  She jerked her body away from him as that thought floated through her mind.  She was just like Inuyasha touching someone against his will.

            She felt the tears trying to come.  She couldn't believe that she could do something like that.  What was wrong with her?  She buried her face in her palms as she fought the sobs seeking to escape her control.

            A hand landed on her forearm frightening her into jumping.  Moon touched silver strands of hair fell against her shoulders as she felt her mate's chin pressed into her neck.  "This has to stop," he told her.  "Why do you cry now?"

            "I'm just like him," she said through her sobs.

            He didn't say anything.  He simply collected her into his lap where he kept her pressed against him.  Her body was turned until she straddled his lap.  Kagome buried her face into his chest where she continued her sobs.

            Sesshoumaru slowly lay back until she found herself covering him like a blanket.  "You are afraid of touching me when I watch.  You have every right to touch me and yet you would rather remain afraid of healing, simply because you assume yourself like that half breed.  What can you possibly do to me against my will?"

            He was right of course.  There was nothing she could do to him unless he willed it.  But that didn't excuse her behavior just now.  She touched him while he was asleep.  She shouldn't be allowed to get away with doing that.  She didn't desire his goodness.

            Sesshoumaru's chest lifted her briefly as he sighed.  Gently his hands tucked themselves beneath her armpits.  He rolled her to the side.  She watched him as he rose from the bed, his hair a waterfall down his back.  In the bright moonlight his pale torso shone in stark relief.  Kagome found herself mesmerized by the play of muscles as he slowly worked the ties of his pajama bottoms.

            Too shocked to move she could only watch the pale silk pants fall to his striped feet.  He stood before her completely bare and totally at ease with his nudity.  "I will allow you to touch me at your leisure.  You will then get over this fear and we will then go to bed so that I can get to sleep."

            The arrogance in his tone had her frowning slightly but said nothing as she just stared at him.  When he approached she tried to back away from him.  He moved too fast for her to get very far.  Once he had hold of her he pulled her to the very edge of the bed.  It set his...penis right at her eye level.  Soft, it didn't appear intimidating but she knew it could hurt her.  Inuyasha had proven that before.

            She lifted pleading eyes to her mate, asking him to let her go.  He didn't.  His intense stare only dared to her to do as he asked her to.  She would not get out of this night without doing his bidding.

            She felt cornered.  She closed her eyes asking for the strength to see this through.  She laid one hand on his chest, right over his heart.  Kagome felt calmed by the steady pace it kept.  It made her bold enough to travel across the dense muscle.  The way his skin stretched so tightly that she could see the veins attracted her attention.

            His whole body fascinated her once she ignored that she was touching an actual living and breathing male.  She liked the way his markings darkened him in certain places.  She touched the stripes across his wrist finding that piece of skin so much softer than his regular skin.  "How is that possible," she found herself asking.

            He didn't answer her.  She didn't mind that in the least.  She simply moved on in her exploration.  His skin heated as she traveled.  The muscles in his abdomen jumped as she brushed against his sides.  She noticed so much about him being this close to him and she had no idea how she could have feared any of it.  All on their own her hands approached the lower half of his body.

            The markings along his hip wings drew her attention the most as the moon seemed to thoroughly highlight this part of his body.  And just as the moon featured his markings, so too did the markings draw attention someplace else.  Kagome really didn't want to look at that part of him, but her eyes couldn't help but glance and once it caught her attention she could do nothing to stop looking.

            Before her eyes he grew.  Thick and long it just get rising.  She'd seen pictures of one before in high school health but never on this close.  His foreskin seemed to retract the slightest bit on its own.  Powerful veins ran the length of it.  It didn't stick straight up like she'd seen in all the pictures.  It appeared much too heavy for that.  No, it almost pointed at her.

            She licked suddenly dry lips.  If she touched him here she wouldn't be able to ever forget that she did so.  She wouldn't be able to move backward.  She took a deep breath.  She had to be strong like her mate.  She couldn't keep running away from this.  She was his mate and it was time she acted like it.

            Boldly she reached for him.  Sesshoumaru sucked in a breath as she gave a gentle squeeze to this sensitive part of him.  She had no clue what to do with it now that she touched it.  She only knew it felt strange; hard but spongy at the same time.  And it pulsed as well.  She touched it all over too interested to notice the way his body seemed to stiffen.

            He had no pubic hair like many of the pictures of human males showed.  Instead he felt smooth all the way even down to his testes.  She didn't...It just all seemed so strange to her.

            She lifted her face when she felt large hands sliding into her hair to cup the back of her head.  "Sesshoumaru?"  His eyes were closed and he seemed to be breathing very deeply.  At her calling to him his eyes fell open.  Slight lines of reds had entered his eyes, taking over the white.  The marks on his face had begun to jag as well.

            Kagome found him beautiful like this.  Like this, he couldn't pretend to appear human.  Like this he could only remind her that he was all youkai.  Like this, she didn't fear him.  Strange as it seemed she only felt safe with what she knew to be youkai full and true.

            His hands tugged her slightly forward.  Kagome didn't bother fighting the movement.  When the head of him brushed against her chin she didn't stop to think.  She simply opened her mouth to accept him.

            The taste exploded on her tongue, spicy and slightly salty.  It wasn't unpleasant like she'd heard from her female friends, but it also wasn't a taste she loved either.  Still, she could allow herself to go this far while his hands guided her through the motions.  She tried to be careful of her teeth.  She'd heard men didn't like that very much.

            Her own body grew hot.  Warm wetness between her thighs surprised her as she hadn't felt this since before the Inuyasha incident.  She gave herself over to the sensation.  And when Sesshoumaru drew her mouth away from him she whimpered slightly.

            His lips descended upon hers.  His tongue conquered her mouth easily.  The heat growing through her flared brightly.  Her arms wrapped around his neck pulling him tightly to her.  She didn't care when he relieved her of her clothing.  The cool air of the room tightened her nipples into hard peaks but that too she ignored.

            Her mate moved her toward the center of the bed.  Kagome moved willingly.  His weight settled over her, pressing her into the mattress.  A whimper left her throat she felt all of his skin touching her.

            She hadn’t thought it could be like this.  No one had told her touching another intimately could be so nice.  Her body craved more of him.  More of his touch, more of what he had to offer her.  She felt like she could accept all of it and not be too frightened to get what she wanted.

            His lips trailed across her cheek and down to her neck.  Her back arched into him, head tilted back to give him all the access he needed.  His heavy erection pressed tightly against her stomach.  She fought to ignore the fear taking over at that part of him.  But she should have known her mate wouldn’t allow her to feel afraid.

            He rolled to his back, taking her with him once more.  Her legs automatically spread to steady herself as she continued to kiss him.  It gave her the illusion of being the one in control.  She finally leaned back to take in the powerful male beneath her.

            Hazy golden eyes peered right back at her.  She gave an experimental roll against his hips.  Her demon mate gave a sharp intake of breath.  Kagome slowly licked her dry lips as she watched his reaction.  “I have to know,” she began, “Will it hurt when we are together.”

            Her mate’s lips curved just the slightest.  “I know what I’m doing.”  He plucked her from on top his body and settled her against his side.  “Go to sleep.  I do have to get up in the morning.”

            Kagome nibbled at her bottom lip.  She didn’t really feel tired and the way his erection continued to be the points of her focus, she wasn’t sure if she could get to sleep that night.  “Are you sure?” she asked timidly.

            “You aren’t ready for sex.”

            She hated that he kept telling her that.  Determined to prove to the both of them that she could be strong, she climbed back on top of his body.  She pressed her naked breasts against his chest.  The sensation sent little tingles of pleasure through the tiny buds, causing them to stiffen.  She sucked in a surprised breath.

            “Kagome…” Sesshoumaru warned.

            “No,” she said.  “I need to get over this fear.  I’m tired of feeling weak.”  What was the point of having such a strong mate if she wasn’t going to utilize the safety and secure feeling he gave her.  She refused to allow Inuyasha to win.

            His chest lifted her in a sigh.  “You are sure you can handle this?”

            She could when he continued to show his concern for her.  His kindness had gone a long way into helping her learn that all men weren’t like Inuyasha.  She didn’t have the same level of fear for Sesshoumaru, even though he was the most dangerous male at all.

            She slid her lips across his softly.  He didn’t pull away.  She knew that demons for the most part didn’t care much for the softer needs that many mortals required.  But that he could allow her to take what she needed from him made her happy.

            It made her body melt.  Her lower half began to moisten as she began to feel aroused.  This time when she felt his cock pressed against her, she didn’t panic.  She pressed closer, trapping the hard length between their bodies.

            His chest vibrated with his deep growl.  Kagome felt her pleasure grow at the sound.  Her body softened further against him until she practically felt boneless in his arms.  She writhed on top of him.  In her mind she thought about how much she wanted him; how much she just wanted to be with him.  She had to have him now.

            “Sesshoumaru,” she whispered across his lips.  “Show me, please.”  She didn’t care that she begged for him to teach her about sex.  She didn’t care anymore if he thought her ready or not.  She had to have him join with her.  She had to become his mate and forget the rest.  She just had to.

            Sesshoumaru rolled her back over.  He nipped at her throat, bringing a groan to her lips.  She tilted her head back to allow him more access to her skin.  He took everything she offered and more.  He took his time removing her pajamas from her body.

            She continued to shiver beneath the weight of his body.  Part of her still felt fear at what was about to happen between them.  She couldn’t help but be somewhat afraid.  She was too used to feeling pain in her life and really wanted to trust that she wouldn’t feel more.

            “You have to relax,” he whispered against her skin.  Kagome fought her body’s natural reaction to fear.  Sesshoumaru helped her along with his distracting kisses.  He trailed down her body, lazily trailing his tongue along her skin.

            Kagome found it difficult to breathe.  Her blood felt as if it were boiling.  Soon, she found herself able to lose her fear with so much pleasure.  Her eyes shot open suddenly.  His mouth was between her legs, exploring the folds of her sex.  It felt good, but weird at the same time.

            She tried to close her legs on the strangeness of it all, but he held her open for his working tongue.  He licked her.  He delved deep within her.  He growled until she felt the vibrations shooting through her body.  And there was just this one spot he suckled that made her hips fly off the mattress.

            Her body went into overload.  Her hands tightly gripped his hair as she felt her body’s tension increase.  Her eyes rolled to the back of her skull.  She tried to scream, but sound didn’t escape.  She felt so overwhelmed by the emotions taking over her.

            And she cried because of it.  Sesshoumaru immediately ceased his actions to hold her closely in his arms.  Gentle hands brushed across her back as she continued to sob.  The heavy erection that had been pressed against her had softened at some point.  She couldn’t believe how good he’d been to her so far.  She felt bad that she wouldn’t be able to return the favor to him.

            “I’m sorry,” she whispered.  She was so sick of saying the words.  No matter how much time passed she still found she had to keep saying it and it bothered her that she had to.

            “Go to sleep, Kagome,” he simply told her.  She closed her eyes, too embarrassed to disobey him again.  Sleep, for her, was a long time in coming.

~*~

Sesshoumaru thought he could help Kagome save face after their one night together.  He figured working extra hours would give her a chance to come to her senses and realize she wasn’t ready for anything remotely sexual.  Her breakdown proved it to him.

            He expected, after three weeks spent around the office that he would return home to find that she’d moved back into her guestroom.  Instead, he found things just had they were when she insisted on sharing space with him.  In fact, there were even more items of hers invading his space.

            Sesshoumaru sighed.  He couldn’t say a word since it was her decision to make.  As her mate and alpha he could only protect her to the best of his ability.  Didn’t mean he wouldn’t try to talk some sense into her.

            He sought out her scent around the manor.  She lay by the pond in the backyard, her hand trailing through the water.

            “Kagome,” Sesshoumaru said, drawing her attention to his presence.  “We need to talk.”

            She jumped up unexpectedly.  He didn’t know what he expected of her, but having her suddenly jump in his arms wasn’t it.  Her bright smile also wasn’t something he thought should be on her face.  In his surprise, he thought nothing of tucking his forearm beneath her butt, holding her as if she were a child.

            “I didn’t think you would come home today,” she said.  “I’m so happy that you did.”

            What was the meaning of this?  Where was the fractured mate that he had gotten used to?  If he couldn’t smell that this was Kagome, he would have wondered who the fake was.    He carried her into the house while she continued to talk about what she had been doing during the time he wasn’t at the house.

            None of her words explained this behavior change in her.  He couldn’t figure it out and she didn’t seem to be able to sufficiently explain the new attitude.  It gave him a headache that made him wonder if it weren’t this way with all human females.

            Finally, he could keep it in no longer.  He simply had to ask her.  “What is going on?  Did you get into some sugar or something?”

            Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck.  She shook her head.  “I’ve done some thinking.  And I’ve realized that I haven’t been very fair to you.  I have no reason to fear you and because of that, I’ve decided to get some help.  I’ve had three therapy sessions so far.  My next one is in a few days.”

            He found he could say nothing to that other than, “Do as you will.”  As long as it helped her, he didn’t care.”

~*~

Therapy turned out not to be so fun, which she hadn’t expected it to be.  It was hard and it forced her to answer questions she felt very uncomfortable answering.  It also demanded that she be very honest with herself and her feelings.

            The elderly inu bitch didn’t coddle her emotions.  She asked her questions, demanded Kagome answered, and then proceeded to ask more questions.  By the time she got home in the evenings she was so emotionally drained that it was all she could do to say hello to Sesshoumaru or even look at him some days.

            She had to admit though that for all the difficulty she had, she also appreciated what it did for her.  The more she thought about what happened, the more she became okay with opening up to Sesshoumaru.  She still had some fear of other males, but not her mate.  It felt…nice.  She felt pretty normal and she liked how that made her feel.

            So three months into her therapy she decided to do something really nice for her mate.  She made dinner.  It wasn’t anything too complicated because she wasn’t the best cook, but she did her best and it smelled very good if she said so herself.

            She gave all the servants the night off to give her the chance to have some real alone time with her mate.  Getting Jaken out of the house almost didn’t happen.  She had to threaten the toad with bodily harm to get him to obey.  She set the table with the best silverware they owned.  She put on a pretty dress and waited for him to come through the door so she could surprise him.

            He appeared not too long after his usual arrival time.  As soon as he walked through the door, she was quick to take his suit jacket.  “Why don’t you go wash your hands while I put this away for you?  I have dinner pretty much ready.”  She sent him a bright smile as he disappeared in the downstairs bathroom to complete her request.

            She hurried to finish everything to her liking before he returned.  Of course, him being a demon, it didn’t go as expected.

            “Kagome, why are you lighting candles?”

            She stopped; a pout on her face.  “I thought it’d be nice to have atmosphere.”  He said nothing else in response.  She didn’t both trying to light the rest of them.  It was probably a clichéd thing to do anyway.

            She brought the plates from the kitchen, the burgers she cooks, looking ridiculous on the expensive plates.  Sesshoumaru said nothing about this too, but she did notice the amused smile he gave her.  He ate in silence for most of the meal until Kagome felt the need to fill it.

            She didn’t have much she absolutely had to say for conversation, but she wanted to know things about him.  And she wanted to be able to share with him some of the things she’d learned about herself.  He participated actively with her, not at all giving her the impression that she annoyed him.

            Seduction was the last thing on her mind, though she had to admit that he looked good.  She also decided that she probably wouldn’t be against something actually between them.  Since the one night, she’d been very curious about what could be between them.

            He wanted him.  She wasn’t afraid to say it anymore.  She really, truly thought she could be ready for something to happen between them.  She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart.  She could be as bold as she needed to be.  She’d been working with the therapist to ensure that stopped allowing herself to stop living.

            She gave her mate a smile.  “Sesshoumaru,” she said softly.  When she had his attention, she took another deep breath.  “I don’t want to be afraid anymore.  I don’t want to feel as if I can’t live because of what’s happened to me.  I want to be happy.  I deserve to be happy.”

            Sesshoumaru clasped his hands together under his chin.  “Okay.  What does this mean exactly?”

            Instead of giving him a verbal reply, she rose to her feet.  She stepped around the table to his side and settled herself in his lap.  She barely moved to accommodate her, but she didn’t allow it to bother her.  She could do this.  She could be the mate he needed in his life.  She knew she could do it.

            She pressed her lips against his, hesitantly.  She didn’t know much about passion other than what he’d shown her in the short time they were together.  Nevertheless, she used what she could to show him what she wanted, what she desired most from him.

~*~

Sesshoumaru stopped questioning things a long time ago when it came to dealing with Kagome.  Every time he thought he had her figured out she did something else to change his opinion and his world.  Therefore, this too, he took as it came.  Any sort of progress had to be acknowledged and encouraged.

            He swept his mate into his arms and carried her up the stairs to his bedroom; make that their bedroom.  She wrapped tightly around his body, laying kisses anywhere she could reach.

            Something about this time with her felt different.  Her reaction to him felt different and he didn’t quite know what to think about it.  If she were inu instead of human, he’d think she were in heat.  He couldn’t tell with her, and he hadn’t exactly felt the need to study human female cycles either.  Now he wished he had taken the time to learn about his mate.

            As of the moment though, he couldn’t be bothered to think about anything like that.  Her small fingers began plucking at his button down shirt, trying to force it off his body.  It amazed him that she even took it this far.

            And he had to laugh when she began growling that his clothing needed to come off faster.  He happily obliged her wishes.  His clothing, he removed with all the speed of his nature.  Then it was time to strip her clothing from her body.

            He took his time for her, allowing her plenty of opportunity to stop him if she so dared.  She watched him as his hands slid over her body.  Her own hands didn’t remain idle.  They slid over his body as well, fingers moving along tracks of hard muscles covered by soft skin.  He couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him.

            She had such a sweet shyness about her movements.  She made him want to cherish her.  He couldn’t see a need to ever try to harm her.  He’d rather destroy his own life than do anything to make her sad.

            It was then he understood what all his father had been on his about for centuries.  Having a mate wasn’t just about having someone at his side, the best.  It was about having someone to protect.  It was about doing whatever it took to see a person happy.  He wanted Kagome to have the happiness she craved.  He personally, planned to see that she had everything she ever wanted and more.

            He covered her body with his.  Her soft curves felt good against the hardness of his body.  It was different from the more muscular frames of his previous mates.  He found he really liked it.  Her soft touch soothed him.  He could practically feel her weave a spell around his emotions.

            It made him willing to slow down with her boy and to taste her.  It gave him the patience to ensure her body was properly prepared to take him without pain.  Finally being able to slip inside her body gave him an indefinable feeling.  It completed their mating.

            He felt the threads of his soul connecting with hers.  Soon, she would be tied to him for the rest of his lifespan.  Her stepfather would have his wish.  Sesshoumaru would have a woman capable of helping him produce pups, and Kagome would have all the safety she could ask for.

            He took her slowly.  Her moans thrilled him.  When she climaxed, he couldn’t get enough of how she tightened around him.  He couldn’t get enough of her.  For the first time, he could actually see himself falling for his mate.  It would then be more than simply a duty to him.  As he fell into his own orgasm the though didn’t escape him that he felt okay with the changes in his life.  Having hanyou pups didn’t disgust him anymore.

~*~

Little Kagome Higurashi had known many bad moments in her life.  Teenage Kagome had known some sorrows, but had begun to gain some happiness.  The Kagome attacked by Inuyasha never thought she’d find happiness.  And now, there was the mated and pregnant adult Kagome.

            This new Kagome knew nothing but joy at the hands of her mate.  This Kagome went to therapy regular.  She connected with others and learned how not to let the past dictate her current life.  This Kagome had found her happiness and that…was something to smile about.