The Night Before Christmas-Inuyasha Style! by iloveprettysilverhair

The Night Before Christmas!

Blanket disclaimer: I don't own squat.

Title:  The Night Before Christmas-Inuyasha Style

Author: iloveprettysilverhair

Characters: The Inuyasha Group

Genre: Humor, Friendship

Prompt: Bark & Bite

Rating: PG for some swearing

Warnings: None

Summary: A twist on "The Night Before Christmas"

Kagome: "It's been a while since we've all been together like this, hasn't it?"

Sesshoumaru:  "Not long enough, in my opinion."

Inuyasha:  "Just shut it, it's not like I wanna be here either!  Blame your bitch."

Kagome:  "Hey!"

Miroku:  "That was not very polite, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha: "Keh!"

Sesshoumaru:  "Remind me again why I agreed to this?"

Kagome:  "Because...you love me?"

Sesshoumaru:  "Hn."

Sango:  "I, for one, am glad to be here.  Just like old times!"

Shippou:  "Me too!  So quit whining like a baby, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha:  "Why you little...Don't hide behind Sesshoumaru's runt!"

Jaken:  "How dare you insult Lord Sesshoumaru's ward, you filthy half-breed!  You are not worthy enough to kiss the ground he walks-"

Sesshoumaru:  "Be silent!"

Beat.

Rin:  "Master Jaken, you're funny when you're angry."

Kagome:  "Maybe we should just get this over with?"

Sesshoumaru:  "Indeed."

Miroku:  "So, who would like to do the honors?  I would, but I *cough cough* have a scratch in my throat."

Sango:  "Sure you do."

Inuyasha:  "I sure as hell ain't doin' it.  Shippou, you do it."

Shippou:  "No way!  I'm just a little kid!  Besides, I don't know how to read."

Rin:  "I think Lord Sesshoumaru should do it!"

Inuyasha:  "Now that, I would like to see."

Sesshoumaru:  "No.  Do not smile at me like that Kagome."

Kagome:  "Oh come on!  You have such a nice voice.  Please?"

Inuyasha:  "Yeah, c'mon brother.  Pleeeeaaaaaaase?"

Sesshoumaru:  "Fine."

Together:  "Yay!"

Sesshoumaru:  "But no, interruptions.  I will not repeat myself."

Together:  *Grumble* *Mumble*

Inuyasha:  "Get on with it already!"

Kagome:  "Inuyasha..."

Inuyasha:  "I'll be good."

Sesshoumaru:  "I shall begin...Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the hut, not a creature was stirring, except for a half-breed mutt-"

Inuyasha:  "Bastard."

Kagome:  *Sigh*

Sesshoumaru:  "Each stocking was hung by the chimney with care, but that of the mongrel, greatly needed some air."

Shippou:  "Oh brother..."

Rin:  "Milord's such a good story-teller!"

Together:  *Giggles*

Sesshoumaru:  "The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of needless sugar danced in their heads."

Shippou:  "I like candy."

Rin:  "Me too!"

Sango:  "Shhh..."

Sesshoumaru:  "And Kagome in her nighty-"

Kagome:  "Sesshoumaru!"

Sesshoumaru:  "-and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap."

Miroku:  "And just what color, is this nighty?"

Sango:  "You're such a pervert."

Rin:  "What's a nighty?"

Inuyasha:  "Can we just get back to the story?"

Kagome:  "Yes, please."

Sesshoumaru:  "When out in the clearing there arose such a blast, I sprang from the trees as Inuyasha did, though half-assed."

Inuyasha:  "Can someone else tell the story now?"

Sesshoumaru:  "Actually, I am quite enjoying myself.  Now be quiet."

Inuyasha:  "Then tell it right!  You sonnuvabi-"

Miroku:  "Um...Inuyasha.  Innocent ears."

Inuyasha:  "Keh!"

Sesshoumaru: "Away to the clearing I flew like a flash, armed at the ready, I drew my sword from my sash.  The moon on the armor of the vile half-breed-"

Inuyasha:  "Oh come on!"

Sango:  "He isn't talking about you this time."

Inuyasha:  "Oh."

Sesshoumaru:  "Gave farce luster to the creature as wanted as a weed."

Inuyasha:  "Now you're just stretching it."

Kagome:  "Shh!"

Sesshoumaru:  "When what to my "all-seeing" eyes did appear, but a witch made of wind and a little chit with a mirror."

Shippou:  "He's talking about Kagura and Kanna, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha:  "I knew that!"

Sesshoumaru:  "With tentacles spurting, and miasma a dark blue, I knew in that moment it was Naraku."

Kagome:  "Did you have to mention the tentacles?  Gross."

Sesshoumaru:  "More rapid than panthers, the demons all came; a nuisance to hinder and they were all fair game."

Inuyasha:  "They're no match for me and the Tessaiga!  Bring 'em on!"

Sango:  "Oh yes, because you don't want or need our help at all, do you?"

Shippou:  "You know you do Inuyasha!"

Jaken:  "Shut up you ingrates!  Lord Sesshoumaru is trying to tell the story!"

Sesshoumaru:  "Now Kanna!  Now Kagura!  Now Goshinki he called then!  On Byakuya!  On Hakudoshi! And the Band of Seven!  To the ends of the world they shall all look a fool, for they deserve not, the sacred pink jewel."

Rin:  "Go Lord Sesshoumaru!"

Sesshoumaru:  "The demons did charge, but were not up to par, my father's great sword sang with the cry of Wind Scar!"

Inuyasha:  "Hell yeah!  That's what I'm talkin' about!"

Sesshoumaru:  "Many were felled, but some still remained; the dark half-breed, unhappy, held fury untamed."

Rin:  "This is kinda scary."

Shippou:  "Don't worry Rin, with me around, nothing will get you!"

Kagome:  "You two are so cute!"

Inuyasha:  "Could we?  I want to hear more of the story!"

Sesshoumaru:  "And then with roar, I heard him cry out; he took aim at us all though in his voice was small doubt."

Miroku:  "Indeed he wouldn't be so sure of himself if all his demons were gone."

Inuyasha:  "Damn straight; he better be scared!"

Sesshoumaru:  "As I drew up my sword Naraku cried out with a moan, a boomerang struck him made of old demon bone."

Miroku:  "That's my girl!"

Sango:  *Blush*

Sesshoumaru:  "His strength fading quickly; he attempted to flee, but a pure arrow stopped him its shooter, our key."

Kagome:  "Awww!  I never knew you felt that way about me."

Inuyasha:  "Keh!  You know you're important to our group, stupid."

Shippou:  "That's the pot calling the kettle black."

Inuyasha:  "Shut it ya little twerp!"

Sesshoumaru:  "As I was saying...His life near its end, he looked broken-hearted; I struck down with my sword, his body all but parted."

Rin:  "Ewww!"

Sango:  "Really, did you have to go into detail?"

Shippou:  "Coooooool!"

Sesshoumaru:  "With no bees around, the monk drew back his beads; the hole that had cursed him, to salvation finally leads."

Miroku:  "Who'da thought that Naraku would die from his own curse?  It is nice to have a full hand back."  *Waggles eyebrows*

Inuyasha:  "You're such a freak, Miroku."

Sesshoumaru:  "His droll little mouth set in a line very grim and his face all knowing that this was the end of him."

Inuyasha:  "Yeah, I'll never forget that look.  Damn bastard deserved a fate worse than death."

Sango:  "I agree with you on that one."

Sesshoumaru:  "The land finally free of the hideous beast was free to rejoice with sake and feast."

Inuyasha:  "That was the best party ever."

Kagome:  "I think you drank more than Mushin that night."

Sesshoumaru:  "The mutt's round face overshadowed by his belly; that night shook hard when he laughed, like an oversized bowl full of jelly."

Inuyasha:  "I can't help it if they kept telling me to eat more!  You try turning down when it's fed to you by grateful women; I sure as hell ain't!"

Miroku:  "Indeed they were quite grateful- eh, not that I would know personally.  I only have eyes for you my dear!"

Sango:  *Glare*

Sesshoumaru:  "Passed out on the ground from sake of great wealth, my lips tilted to a smirk in spite of myself."

Kagome:  "Leave it to you to be amused by your brother's inebriation."

Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha:  "Half-brother."

Kagome:  *Eye roll* "Are you two still hung up on that?"

Sesshoumaru:  "A wink of an eye and a smile sincere, often returned me to the village to be more near."

Kagome:  "Awww, your bark is worse than your bite, you know that?"  *Swoon*

Inuyasha:  "Enough sissy crap, just finish the story already."

Jaken:  "For once, I agree with the half-breed!"

Sesshoumaru:  "Life goes on for this group and their work, though the mutt with the ears is still quite a jerk."

Inuyasha:  "Grrr...I've had just about enough of this shit!  You're going down!"

Kagome:  "Inuyasha....don't make me say it!"

Shippou:  "She hasn't threatened him with that in years."

Inuyasha:  "Fine.  Just keep going."

Sesshoumaru:  "A long future together is what the jewel foretold; no one knows how, but to us it's all gold."

Together:  "..."

Sesshoumaru:  "What, no snide remarks?"

Kagome:  *sniffle* "Just keep going, you're almost done."

Sesshoumaru:  "To all those who see us, we are an odd group indeed, but others would do well to follow our lead."

Rin:  "What's that mean Lord Sesshoumaru?"

Miroku:  "It means that even if you're different from someone, you can still be good friends."

Rin:  "Oh.  That makes sense."

Sesshoumaru:  "I end this tale, the mood nice and light..."

Together:  "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Whether or not you celebrate Christmas I hope you have a great holiday season!  Be warm, be safe, and most importantly, BE HAPPY!