Challenges, Drabbles, & Oneshots by r0o by sugar0o who lurks

Audit - humor

Audit..............................................................for Nobody's Challenge: Audit

AU, xmasy, all human. even Sess. Sess and inu are not brothers in this fic.

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Audit - [noun] 2. A report or statement; a final statement of account.

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Sesshomaru hated this time of year, he was a busy real estate agent, and yet the cold weather made life for him a bit dull, thus meaning he got to do errands his wife was unable to, thus leading to his current loathing exsistance. His marriage was wonderful and his family was fantastic. Both he and his wife were busy and yet they had so much in common yet enough to always be left surprised by. Due to circumstances beyond both their controls, they had met years ago during a tragedy.

His best friend and said friends wife had been in a car accident, Miroku and Sango were gone, leaving him, surprisingly as guardian of their only child, Rin. At the same time, in the same crash Kagome's friends Inuyasha and Kikyo had left her their only son Shippo. Neither of them had ever made time for a social life that would allow loved ones, and children, as she was a lawyer and he was a commercial real estate agent, he didn't ever have time off, yet they found themselves the unwilling parents or two small children.

They met in the waiting room waiting to find out what was going on, and the doctors had given them both the bad news nearly at the same time. They had been shocked, and yet had shared stale coffee and stories of how they met their now passed on loved ones. Admittedly both were well aware that they had little parenting skills, and even less patients for it, yet a friendship was sparked from the darkest of hours.

Years later, and many messy, angry, confused, cautious, and many other things, years later they married. Between them they had Rin and Shippo at first, thinking that their family was ideal, the perfect family, until they realized that they would be adding to it, and add they did. The triplets were born one and a half years to the day of the their marriage. The twins, five years to the day after finding out that they were getting triplets instead on just one. And their last birth another pair of twins twelve years after they first met.

.......elsewhere.......

‘They had two moody teenagers, three fussy pre-tweens, and four pint sized clo0o0o0o0ones,...' Kagome thought as she remembered sending all nine of her children off with their father to the mall while Christmas music played as she worked. ‘The holidays were always her favorite time of year. ' she mused as she finished up dinner for her large brood.

.......elsewhere.......

As he was thinking.... he hated this time of year, and he couldn't believe his wife had sent him out alone with all of them, what was she thinking? Hours after arriving at the hell hole that was Shikon Mall over Tokyo, Sesshomaru departed for home, and his loving wife whom he was either going to screw into tomorrow morning as a punishment so she was left walking funny, --‘the idea had merit‘-- , or strangle her for such unending torture as a mall during Christmas time.

When he got home, dinner was made and ready for them, bags were deposited, and all sat down to dinner, until Kagome's eyes caught Sesshomaru's, counting heads they seemed to be missing one. "You failed your audit dear husband."

Confused as to what his pretty wife was speaking about he cocked his brow in question.

"How many children do we have?" she asked playfully and not at all too worried about Shippo, he had a cell phone and could probably find a ride home from the mall without too much difficulty, and he was sixteen now, almost a man.

"Your not pregnant again are you?" he asked, his voice an unreadable mix of excitement and horror, making Kagome laugh wholeheartedly. Mirth shining in her eyes she took pity on her husbands poor frazzled nerves.

"You seem to have lost one of our children." she mused easily. Sesshomaru's eyes darted over the heads of various mixed colors, between his side of the families odd white hair, and her side of the families amazing raven tress, easily finding the lacquer brown of Rin's but missing the bright red top of Shippo's, inwardly he cursed as the house phone rang. His wife got up and took the call in the kitchen coming back moments later a smile still on her face. "Well your great as selling houses, and land, but I wouldn't hold my breath as an accountant. Shippo will be home in an hour he found a friend at the mall."

Sighing Sesshomaru was glad for small miracles, weather it was just that Shippo was going to be home soon and okay or that his wife wasn't pregnant again, he wasn't sure, but as he thought about it, he wouldn't mind getting her pregnant again it was always fun making them, and she did seem to love to make them during this time of year. Perhaps he could bribe her and win that audit back after all, and fall on the plus side as well, he smirked deviously at the idea, calming his face before his pretty wife caught on.

Maybe this time he'd shoot for five at once.