This is a very good start. I do not wish to nit pick; however there are quite a few either spelling errors or wrong word choices in this first chapter. Which drives me crazy. ex:
"They had a tough few days battling both Naraku and his “children”. Sango had been stabbed in the shoulder, a broken rib while her other ribs were bruised or creaked and her protector Kirara was cover in some cuts. Miroku had also been hurt with three bruised ribs and many scraps and bruises covering his body while he was also recovering from the intake of Naraku's poisonous bugs. Shippo was fine other then a few scraps and bruises having stayed hidden under the roots of a tree. Kagome herself had some bruises and cuts, but out of all of them Inuyasha’s injures were the worse. Inuyasha had been stabbed twice once in the shoulder and the gut while also having two broken rips and was covered in bruises and cuts. "
should be "cracked" not "creaked"; "scrapes" not "scraps", "covered" not "cover", "ribs" not "rips".
"The journey had changed Kagome. She still held that innocence that illuminated her cerulean blue eyes, but she wasn’t as naïve as she once had been. She knew that she was on almost every demon’s hit list but still she thought of them as equals never looking down on them for what they were, because it didn’t matter to her. She cherished all live and thought all this worlds creations precious, that’s why she tried never to take life unless she had to."
s/b "life" not "live"
"Within their travels Kagome had adopted Shippo. She had gone through a ceremony that made him hers in all ways but birth, it had been hard but worth it. He had her blood within his veins which caused him to change both psychically and in his genetic makeup. His hair was now a black cherry red color instead of flaming orange, his eyes were not blue then green while still holding their teal coloring; he no longer had fox feet but still had his fluffy tail that was a shade or two lighter than his hair. While he had inherited these things (including smelling a little like her) from her, he was still a full youkai, Kagome acquired a sharper sense of smell, hearing, sight as well as his life span. Shippo loved that he would never loose her. But now with her blood he was immune to her powers and other priests and mikos powers."
Did you mean physically instead of psychically in this paragraph? Or is it psychically for a reason that will apply later in the story? Also, it should be "lose" not "loose".
The reason I am letting you know this is that I tend to decide NOT to continue to read a story that was way too many errors. However, I really like your story and your writing in general such that I wanted to let you know to be more careful. You have a good start and a great premise here: please please be more careful! Also a question: How did InuTashio know Kagome's name? I read the chapter twice, and I csn't find where either she or Midoriko told him. Keep up the good work & I am looking forward to the next chappie!
i will want more of this please
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