im gonna try to nip this in the bud:
1)After trying to feel my way out of my predicament I could not get out no matter how hard I tried. "predicament, i could..." add the comma
2) when the person is thinking, try to tell us or make some type of "key" that shows who is thinking and whatnot. but if you do choose to do this, make the key easy to understand. ad maybe one that people can assume which is which and be correct oh! and indicate when you change P.O.V, but dont make it confusing
3) i dont know if you wrote this on a computer or not, but the indentation is weird and throws the reader off balance.
4) dont forget to add the commas. EX: When he said that for some reason he sounded familiar to me,but no matter how hard I tried I could not put my finger on whose voice it was. "when he said that, for some reason..." "... no matter how hard i tried, i could..." this is done many times, so try to remember that.
5) misspelling. incorrect grammar and spelling can actually make readers not want to read the fic, so be careful. rownded = rounded chocking = choking
6) dialogue. when someone spoke, add a comma after the quote and before the :they said: EX: "A price?!"she whispered. "A price?", she whispered...
these are some of the ones that i found. this is your first fic, no? yeah, it might be hard at the beginning, but if you need help, there are plenty of people that will help you on this website :/
sorry i didnt mean to sound bossy and/or like a bitch
This story sounds interesting, Sesshomaru probably talking about sex, keep it coming. Happy New Year!
mari (Chapter 1) - Wed 01 Jan 2014
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