Reviews for Two In One by Zecon

LoveAndFaith (Chapter 1) - Thu 05 Sep 2013

This story sounds interesting, keep it coming.


SonofZhon (Chapter 1) - Thu 05 Sep 2013

This appears to be a self-insertion/Sess fic rather than Kag/Sess fic.  Although, in the strictest sense Kagome is present, she is being overwritten by someone else thus she is not really Kagome. 

Beyond the premise issue, I would highly advise proof reading and getting a beta.  Sentence construction is unclear in multiple instances, verb tenses are mixed throughout, in one area the font changes inexplicably.  I won't put it all in a list but a thorough review is strongly recommended. 

Description of scenes is fair but could use some elaboration.  For example, there is a part where it reads "...all manner of clocks..." this would be a prime opportunity to go on about digital, mechanical, quartz and so on in detail. 


QuietMari (Chapter 1) - Thu 05 Sep 2013

I must admit, even with the sometimes slip on grammer and spelling, it is an interesting start. Get a beta to help you out with editing and I believe this will take you far. Hope to read some more soon <3

 


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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