Reviews for Five Hundred Years by V

(Chapter 1) - Thu 22 Mar 2012

Thank you, naqaashi, for the review. I did indeed miss some punctuation marks over there! As for the format of the story, I was actually trying a new style. :) Nevertheless, thank you again for the message!

naqaashi (Chapter 1) - Wed 21 Mar 2012

You have a wonderful sense of time and a real knack for creating an airy, wistful atmosphere that pervades your story and gives it a melancholy personality.

There's an error in one of your sentences -  It has been two years, but for me, maybe half a century or more. (Me? Shouldn't that be 'him?')

You've also missed your punctuation in several places - especially full stops - and while the ethereal quality of your writing is lovely, it lacks punch, and the repetitive format turns the whole thing a bit bland. There are ways to do it right - mostly varying vocabulary or adding flashes of a different mood, or turning up the intensity with each new cycle. But that's something that develops with practice, so I suggest you go on refining your have loads of potential!  


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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