Not bad, it was fine, I enjoyed your lemon!

I don't know if you noticed this, but you would randomly switch from past tense to present tense, instead of remaining in past tense. One such case is " Kagome pressed[<--past tense] her forehead against the cold wall and moaned[<--past tense]. She hates[<---present tense] it when he teases[<---present tense] her like this." or in this case where it occurs in the same sentence, "Sesshoumaru abruptly freed[<--- past tense] her breasts from her top so that he can[<---present tense] play with them."  Other than that, it was well written. Oh, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with your ability to write a lemon.

--Kaminoko

Damn...hot...hot...hot!!!!