Very interesting first chapter. I can see why Hitomi would have a problem. Hopefully nothing will happen to kagome while in the West.
What a promising fic. Though I must admit your focus on mostly your Hitomi girl has me a little worried there. Hopefully you keep your fic about the favorite couple this website was created for and not just on this new girl.
I was estatic that you kept from portraying Rin -it seems to have become a rule- as everyone tends to do in this fandome, of Rin being this 3rd person speaking, flower obsessed girl -I think it's supposed to be cute but to me she just sounds like she's retarded, especially when they have her saying something along, "Rin's name is Rin". I failed to see where in the world they'd find this version of Rin because if they're trully fans of InuYasha, they'd see that Rin is nothing like that. On the contrary, she's a very sharp, perceptive, brave and cheerful girl, very much like a little Kagome version.
Its kind of funny how people tend to follow other people even in websites like what happens in the real world. There is a lot of real life lemmings in this world.
|
Diane (Chapter 1) - Sat 02 Jul 2011
I like it, but I do have a slight correction, you use weary a lot & you're not using it correctly, weary = tired, the word you want is wary which means cautious, etc. Feel free to look it up for an exact definition.
| | | 